?Ayaan

I checked myself in the mirror of my room.

I really had gotten taller and a bit less skinny. I guess that was progress huh?

I then walked out to go to the rose garden.

Arius had given us all an explanation regarding the skull spider incident and why he did what he did.

Even though accepting it was hard but in the end everyone agreed that there really wasn't a better option.

At the end when everyone was leaving Arius told me that he wanted to talk to me about what he had promised to talk about before they left for Lorelai

I made my way to the garden and sat on the bench in the hut before Arius arrived.

I wonder what he wants to talk about?

He did say it was important.

I looked around the garden. The flowers were blooming, but soon they'll be gone since winter wasn't far.

Somehow Winter gives off this sad feeling of loneliness.

I like spring and summer.

Everything is so full of life in that time.

Arius entered the garden and smiled at me when he saw me in the hut. I waved at him and he came over to join me.

'How have you been?'

'Good.' I replied, 'I hope you are feeling good too. Your condition was very bad a few days ago.'

'I'm fine. I've recovered fully.'

'You said you wanted to talk about something?'

"Yea.." He turned his head to look at the flowers, 'How about you tell me about your religion?' He looked back at me, 'The customs and stuff.'

I scratched the back of my head, "I honestly don't know a lot myself.' I sighed, 'Only stuff I learned from Maria.'

'Would you like to know more?'

"Yes. I would love to. I don't even know how to pray.'

'Pray huh.." He seemed a bit distant, 'Must be nice being still able to believe in God after all the shit.'

I thought about it. I know there is barely anyone here who's religious or believes in God, 'It's everything Mari-mom taught me.' I still get confused about how to address her.

Well she taught me how this whole life is a test and you do your best to pass it.

'I really wonder how she managed to teach you that.' He smiled, 'She was a brave woman. I respect her a lot.'

I couldn't help but smile warmly, 'Me too..' She may have hidden things from me but she did it for me.

It pains me that she couldn't share the things with me and hid many important things because she thought she didn't deserve them or it would make her any less in my eyes.

But still her teachings have helped me a lot.

When you have no one else to confide in. There is always God to talk to, and that is why I want to learn more. I want to know how my family lived, what they believed in and their ways.

"Ayaan." He said my name and I looked at him, 'I'm thinking of sending you away.' He signed the lines.

I looked at him in disbelief.

What?

'Why?' I asked him.

'This is not the place for you. It never was.'

The sudden proposal had me confused.

Leave?

'Why all of the sudden? I've been with you for years!' I stood up from my place and looked at him.

He sighed, 'I knew you'd act like this.' He shook his head, 'You were the one who asked me to save you remember?' I hesitantly nodded my head, 'I bought you and Maria to help you out but now Maria's gone. We failed at treating her.'

'I'm still here.'

'You shouldn't be.'

'WHY!?'

'The original plan was to send you guys away when Maria got treated but that didn't happen so you should leave alone. I have all the things prepared.'

I looked at him in confusion and worry.

Leave?

I never thought about leaving..

I slumped back on the bench, 'I don't want to go..' I looked away and Arius sighed.

"Ayaan." He called my name but I didn't look at him, "Even if you don't look at me you can still hear me." He began to speak so I covered my ears but he immediately held my wrists and brought them down, "Ayaan!" I shook my head in denial and stood up to run away but he pulled me back, "Listen to me!! This is what Maria wanted!!"

I stopped but didn't look at him.

"You will never be able to have the life you want here Ayaan and you'll never be able to fulfill Maria's wish." I slowly turned my head and looked at him, "You're still young and you can achieve a lot in life," He shook his head lightly, "But only if you leave. This is a dangerous place."

He let go of my wrists and I raised my hands to answer him, 'But I have nowhere to go.' Tears began forming in my eyes, 'You guys were supposed to be my family..' I looked him in the eyes but he couldn't look back.

He took a frustrated sigh and looked down, "I knew this would be hard on me.." After a few seconds he looked back up with more determination. "You once told me you wanted to be a doctor, you still want that right?"

'No.' Arius was awestruck by my answer.

'What about getting to know your family and their ways.'

'No.'

"..." He looked defeated by my answers, "Don't do this to me Ayaan." He spoke this time, "I have a promise to keep from your mother."

I didn't say anything in return.

"I'm going to speak till the end now. Listen to me."

"..."

"I know you want to stay here. I know you don't have any other place to go to but one can always make his place in this world. It's just a bit hard, not impossible and I know you'll do good."

I looked at him in defeat, "..." My tears started flowing out.

"Ayaan, out of all of us you are the one who never belonged in such a dirty place but you still got stuck here." I shook my head at his words and stood up in front of him but he smiled in return and held my hands softly, "Out of all of us, at least someone should be happy and free, don't you think?" He wiped my cheeks with one hand, "You've gotten a bit taller." He ruffled my head but the gesture made me all the more sad.

"..." I had no words to reply to him with.

"Do it for me Ayaan."

What do I say to that?

I raised my hands and he let them go, 'I don't know..'

"I know you'll make us all proud. You'll be the best student and you'll make a great doctor." He smiled, "You'll get to learn all you want to and-" He pulled me in a hug, "In the future when you've become a capable man, if you want you can come back."

"...K.." I spoke the letter, that was all I could manage as I hugged him back.

This was good-bye then I guess.