55 The feeling of losing someone you love

historical

Liling stood in the verandah and let the gentle evening breeze brush through her skin. She had stood there for almost an hour staring directly into space.

Have you ever had someone you cherish so much, helplessly and slowly drifting away from you before your very eyes, but you could do nothing about it.

That feeling of losing someone you hold so dear.

Her father didn't love her, but she loved him so much. He had been there all her life, and if she was to chose, she would prefer that he was alive and was beating her everyday, If that could keep him alive, she would endure.

Her mom did not talk about the bills when they left the doctor's office, she had just walked slowly to the ward and sat down beside her dad, gently placing her head on the bed.

Just the sight of that broke down her little resolve. She ran upstairs to an empty verandah and cried her eyes out. She knew there was no money anywhere and her mom was already looking forward for the worst to come.

She had cried till her eye balls hurt. When Xin Yong called, she took her time and all the pretence she could muster to answer the call and pretend everything was okay. If the call had lasted another minute, she wasn't sure she was going to keep up the act.

The night was drawing near, so was the remaining days he had on earth.

He took to smoking and drinking a long time ago, though he was an addict it wasn't very noticeable on his physical appearance, or maybe it was just that she hadn't taken a close look.

But what she knew was that he had never fallen sick to this extent. It was very sudden.

Since this type of disease had signs, it would only mean that he had noticed it but he had chosen to ignore it.

She sighed heavily and leaned on the wall, her legs ached much since she had been standing for a very long time so she squatted down and buried her head in her palms.

One thing she knew was that crying and thinking wouldn't produce one million yuan for the surgery, so the earlier she started thinking of ways to get it, the better.

She immediately brought out her phone and clicked on the notes icon.

She started writing down names of people who she could go to for help.

The first person on the list was Xin Yong, thinking about it, she knew Xin Yong could give her anything she had but it might not even be upto few thousand yuan, and even if she asks her parents, no sane person could just give out a million yuan just like that and again they weren't even that rich. So she struck out Xin Yong completely.

She wrote names after names and at the end she discovered that she really didn't have any help.

Immediately an idea clicked on her mind. What has she been thinking?

'A loan from the bank!! '

Liling sprang up from the ground and made to run before she stopped abruptly.

'Banks don't just give out loans to random people, and for such huge amount of money, there must be a collateral, which she knew that all of her family's assets put together wasn't even upto half the amount.

She sadly sunk back to the ground as tears gathered once more in her pretty eyes.

'What else!, What else! '

She thought of millions of ways to get that amount before the month runs out.

'Should she go gambling?, but what if she didn't win, the little she had would even be lost. Should she appeal to the public for help?, that would be the last resort, but the implications would be there. She hated pity, anyone who saw her or her mom would look onto them with great pity. That was such degrading treatment and even if they realize the money in the end, she would still be looked upon as one who had nothing.

She knew they were not rich, they were poor infact but it didn't mean that she wasn't happy. Everything she had was okay for her, she had never been after wealth, money or fame.

But now, if only she could get this money, if only!

Liling remained there for a while wiping the tears that had gathered her eyes and arranging her dress.

She didn't want people knowing that she had just cried and much more her mom. After about five minutes, she turned around and started walking back to the ward.

When she arrived downstairs, she breathed out heavily, blinked her eyes severally and made to push open her dad's ward before she heard a not so familiar voice.