The Zashiki Warashi of Intellectual Village

Volume 5, Notice//(3/9)

er will really agree to such an odd game? Con artists tend to be bold but cowardly. They’ll get caught otherwise. And a professional is definitely going to be better at trickery than a high school boy. If you smile with school play level acting skills, he’s going to immediately suspect something is up.”

“Then we can let him figure it out. I just have to set it up so things can continue even if he does.”

I thought back to that strategy meeting and I had to work hard not to let it show on my face.

Kodama Ryou knew how to capture and control a Zashiki Warashi. Even if he had seen through my bluff with the sake bottles, he still wanted to continue the game to get his hands on the Youkai. That was why he had paid less attention to the change from the casino’s usual Texas Hold ‘em rules and the number of card exchanges.

For him, anything was fine as long as he didn’t win so much it was obvious he was cheating. Normal poker only exchanged cards just once, but if he kept getting royal flushes and five of a kinds, people would think he was a little too “lucky”. So as long as it was higher than one, the number could have been three or six for all he cared. That was all he was focusing on.

And that settled it for me.

He really was reliant on the Zashiki Warashi subspecies known as an Usuhiki Warashi. It wasn’t that he had mastered his sleight of hand to godlike levels and then taken one step further to get the help of an Usuhiki Warashi. If you took the Youkai from him, he had nothing left.

The men in black were threatening us with the glass fiber rope made from a stone mill, but that was likely all they had. They weren’t monsters like Hyakki Yakou that could slaughter any Youkai that opposed them. They had built up their foundation around the Usuhiki Warashi and could only deal with that one type of paranormal.

That meant I didn’t need to worry about any other method.

If I could break through the Usuhiki Warashi system, they would fall into the abyss!

“I! Didn’t! Hear! Anything! About! This!”

I noticed the Zashiki Warashi was mouthing protests with even her breasts and crotch tightly and seductively bound.

Well, that’s because I didn’t tell you.

“I! Just! Have! To! Win!”

“Only! Losers! Think! That! Way!”

Heh heh. Truth was, that lazy and glamorous Youkai had given me plenty of reason to resent her. Earlier she had used my smartphone to download the avatar management app used to enter the VR Casino City named Heavy Cruiser Island, so she could have easily bankrupted me. It only seemed right to add on the local rules and keep at it until she was in a sexy predicament. This was a game of chicken!

“Are you done talking it out?” asked Kodama Ryou with some low laughter.

He of course seemed to have some kind of network set up around the casino, but he had let his guard down and assumed the Zashiki Warashi was all I had. When faced with a chance to get a Zashiki Warashi which he could use to cheat and which was more powerful than his Usuhiki Warashi, he had overlooked the other three.

That’s right. The fox, tanuki, and badger.

“Fine! Fine!! ...I’m still gonna make a name for myself. I swear... I swear to you I’ll steal your techniques!!”

“You! Had! Better! Remember! This!”

Part 10 (Day 10/04 03:00 - 03:09)

It was a one-on-one game, but we still used a fresh pack of the casino’s cards and the dealer still dealt them to us. Kodama Ryou had suggested it as a way to make things more exciting, but it likely had more to do with his confidence in his means of cheating with an Usuhiki Warashi and the fact that he didn’t want to touch the deck himself and allow people to claim he was cheating that way.

Five cards had already been dealt to me and the dealer slid just as many to Kodama Ryou.

This was my second time in the casino.

The first time I had watched from the second floor as he won multiple games in a row.

“Wow, he’s really winning. But the dealer is handling all the cards and it doesn’t look like he’s doing something as cheap as swapping out cards with identical ones up his sleeve. I don’t see any chance for him to be doing any kind of sleight of hand.”

“Then has he bribed the dealer?” Madoka had asked.

“I doubt it.”

“Why?”

“You can’t see the dealer’s face over the phone, but it’s pale as can be. He looks about to cry. The more Kodama Ryou wins, the more people will suspect the dealer, so I can’t blame him.”

“Then what is it?”

“If he’s using a Youkai’s occult power, it isn’t as simple as seeing his opponent’s cards. He isn’t the type to win by folding at the optimal time. He enjoys building up a powerful hand.”

“Then can he create the cards he needs like a fox or tanuki turning leaves into coins?”

“Or he can freely swap out all of the cards.”

Later, the fox, tanuki, and badger had told me Kodama Ryou was cheating using an Usuhiki Warashi which was a symbol of fortune.

There were no legends about the Usuhiki Warashi “counterfeiting” coins out of leaves.

That Youkai more generally brought fortune and prosperity to the house it lived in, but that was too vague.

That could not have been what he was using.

However, there were stories about the pranks pulled by the Usuhiki Warashi and the Zashiki Warashi. For example, when the children were playing in the yard, an extra one would appear it at some point. The adults could tell there was an extra child by counting them, but they could not tell which one was actually a Youkai.

Is this a Package that mixes in new cards without anyone noticing?

I briefly entertained that idea but then rejected it.

That was only a momentary misunderstanding. Even if a Zashiki Warashi could slip in amongst the children playing in the schoolyard during recess, it could not fully blend in as a classmate. It would eventually be found out and eventually vanish. In a casino where cheating meant instant death, I doubted he would use that trait “as is”.

Which meant...

It isn’t that powerful. It’s a method of mixing in the cards without changing the number.

Their other pranks were sneaking into the futon that someone was sleeping in, flipping over the pillow, and pulling on the blanket, so they all had to do with the bed.

While they could move the pillow or blanket, they could not hide them anywhere. Nor did the sleeper go missing or lose their life.

The Zashiki Warashi was a Youkai that could move a pillow or blanket without changing the “number” and not even their owner could do anything to stop it.

In other words...

He isn’t actually increasing or decreasing the number of cards. He ignores the laws of physics to pull out whatever cards he needs to win and slips them into his own hand. This Package lets him freely swap out the cards.

In that case, he would have complete control over all fifty-three cards, but he wouldn’t be able to directly influence the cards that either I or the impartial dealer could see. If the card changed while we were looking, it would cause a panic.

He himself could only see the five cards in his own hand, so that was risky. He wouldn’t know where the cards he wanted were, so there was a danger of swapping out his opponent’s card while they were looking.

He had to have a safety.

He didn’t know where the cards were, but if it was being observed by someone, the card wouldn’t come to him even if he wanted it.

But other than that, he could get his hands on any of the cards.

He could build his hand from the five he was dealt and any of the cards in the face-down deck the dealer held. He could create as many royal flushes and five of a kinds as he wanted. There was no way to get a fair game out of this.

But...

“Three of diamonds, nine of hearts, three of clubs, jack of hearts, and queen of hearts.”

The atmosphere immediately froze over.

All I had done was give a casual comment with my cards fanned out, but it silenced even the gallery who were ready to taste the sweet nectar of schadenfreude.

“What?” asked Kodama Ryou while blinking in confusion.

“It’s a jinx for good luck. ...You said this needs to be a real battle, right? Well, I want to really corner myself here. I want to see what I find if I keep going, so I set myself up. Have I approached your realm now?”

“Well, um, that’s not really what-... Listen. When I rolled the die earlier, we decided to allow two card exchanges, remember? And yet you...”

“Ha ha! That would be too boring!!”

I was clearly bad at this, but anyone could tell I was looking down on him.

“Okay, I revealed everything, so what are your cards?”

“Do you really think I need to tell you? I am going to play normally and-...”

“Oh, so you’re backing down?”

I cut him off.

If I’d used this tone of voice with an upperclassman at school, I could hardly have complained if they punched me.

“No, no. Don’t worry about it. It makes sense. I was the one that chose to reveal my cards, so you do your best with your method. That’s what I want to learn from, after all. You hunch forward, carefully hide your cards from view, and win that way.”

“Ah?”

“I’m saying not to worry about it. You know this is a serious match too, right? So who knows who’ll win. It’s entirely possible you’ll lose everything to the amateur kid and break down crying. If you’d rather hunch over like that to avoid the possibility of having an embarrassing cellphone photo spread around the world, then that’s just how you want to live your life. You can do this at your own pace, teacher.”

I heard a quiet wave of laughter and remembered what Madoka had said.

“Con artists will do whatever they can to nonchalantly escape any disadvantageous situation, but it might be surprisingly easy to get him caught with no way to escape.”

“Eh? Why? What do you mean?”

“Think about it. Even if he’s surrounded by his supporters, how many do you think are actually rooting for him from the bottom of their hearts? The place has to be filled with people whose smiles hide a desire to see him pathetically crawling on the ground. A champion who always wins is boring. Anyone hanging around a casino to see others ascend to heaven or be cast into hell will want to see a hard-fought battle, not a stable victory.”

I could not help but remember that comment.

I was in enough of a trance to ignore the game before my eyes and lose myself in the past.

Kodama’s eyes rolled around to secretly view the passionate and sneering gallery.

“When did you get them on your side?” he asked.

“What are you talking about? I’m only looking at you right now.”

For some reason, my direct response received a mouthed protest from the turtle shell bondage Indoor Youkai instead of from the con artist.

Ahh, a wonderful view no matter where I look. I’m in such a good mood!!

This game had begun as a chance for the top player to crush a conceited brat and the gallery had wanted to see me suffer.

However, people’s hearts changed easily.

They would soon realize whose defeat would be more exciting and enjoyable.

Kodama Ryou clenched his teeth and threw his cards face-up on the poker table.

“Queen of diamonds, king of diamonds, king of clubs, six of spades, and king of hearts!”

“Oh? You were dealt a three of a kind? Swap out one and you could get four of a kind or a full house. Swap out two and you could even get five of a kind. I would expect no less of you, Kodama-san. You didn’t need to hide that at all.”

But this would prevent him from swapping out the five cards in his hand.

The only cards he could use his Usuhiki Warashi Package on were the ones in the dealer’s deck.

And his biggest chance was coming.

“Then let’s get on to the first exchange.”

He made that overly dramatic statement as if challenging me or trying to overturn the atmosphere that was threatening to envelop him.

His voice dropped almost to a whisper.

“If I win here, I will take everything from you: your money and that Youkai. ...Don’t forget that. I’ll give you a nice lesson, but this is still a legit game played in a casino.”

...

Don’t let him draw you in. Don’t let him.

Don’t look down at the bottom of the cliff. Remembering the risk is meaningless.

Shrug and laugh it off! Laugh and keep moving!!

“Ha...ha ha. Don’t try anything too blatant like exchanging all five cards and just so happening to get a royal flush. I think the dealer might stab you if you did.”

I gave one last warning.

He remained smiling, but now exchanging all five cards would be suicide. He would almost certainly be accused of cheating.

Which meant...

If he has any sense, he’ll remove the queen of diamonds and six of spades and give himself a king of spades and a joker for a five of a kind with the four kings and a joker. The only way I can hope to match that is with a royal flush of spades, but that will be impossible if he has the king of spades. And unlike with other hands, he doesn’t have to worry about me getting a five of a kind with a higher number. After all, you need a joker for five of a kind and there’s only one of those in the deck.

When planning with Madoka, we had obviously not been able to predict what cards we would get, so I had to make up the rest on the fly.

The protection of money goddess Kotemitsu Madoka-chan had just about run out.

Figuring out the rules behind Kodama Ryou’s cheating was fine, but that alone wasn’t enough. No matter how much we planned and prepared, I still ultimately had to defeat him on my own.

Kotemitsu Madoka’s plan and the help of the Zashiki Warashi and the fox, tanuki, and badger waiting outside would be of no help unless I overcame this.

If I lost, I would sink and all would be lost.

Slowly, I took a deep breath and spoke.

“Then two. The three of diamonds and three of clubs.”

“Ha ha!!”

The snakeskin guy laughed loudly and even clapped his hands.

“C’mon, now. I already have three kings, so why are you getting rid of your two of a kind? That’s just going to leave you with nothing. Or do you think you’re giving yourself a handicap? Or maybe you’re trying to provoke me?”

“This is fine. Two threes would be too boring.”

“That leaves you with...oh. The nine of hearts, jack of hearts, and queen of hearts. Which means... Ha ha! Don’t tell me you’re trying to get the ten and king of hearts for a royal flush or maybe the eight and ten for a straight flush! That’s getting a little too greedy!!”

I didn’t really think I could get that.

After all, he could freely control the remaining cards in the deck.

And sure enough, the two cards I was dealt were...

“What, you’re not going to go out of the way to announce these ones? Ha ha. Of course not!! You threw away your two of a kind and got nothing in return. Besides, that hand is only so valuable because it’s so hard to get.”

“Enough nastiness. Just keep playing.”

“Fine then. I’ll take two as well and get rid of the queen of diamonds and six of spades. Yes, that’s the standard course of action.”

That meant he really was after a five of a kind using the four kings and the joker. Not even a royal flush of hearts could beat that.

I could feel my heart racing even faster.

Was this really the way to go?

Had there been something else I could have done?

Doubts bubbled up inside my head, but the mine cart had already started rolling down the hill. There was no taking back the life placed inside it. I could only bet on this. I could only keep charging forward!

But there was a fork in the mine cart’s track.

If he completed his five of a kind during this first card exchange, I was done for.

But if he gathered one card at a time to complete it on the second exchange, I still had a way out, even if just barely.

Which would it be?

Which way would it roll?

“Kee hee.”

I heard laughter.

The ominous sound of teeth scraping together hurt my ears.

“Kee hee hee. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.”

“...”

With his head lowered, the snakeskin guy laughed.

He laughed and laughed and laughed.

“This was a fun little game.”

No announcement could have been worse.

I felt like a cold hand was squeezing each and every organ in my body, one at a time.

The whispering of the gallery grew distant.

The man’s grinning face looked like it was made of melted wax and I immediately realized something.

The fox, tanuki, and badger must have seen this exact same expression when the patron they cared about more than anyone had been cast into the depths of the abyss.

“Perhaps I should call this riichi. I now have the king of spades in my hand. As long as I get the joker, I’ll have a five of a kind. Even if you do get a royal flush of hearts, you can’t win. And even if you forcibly try for the hand with spades instead, I already have the king of spades, so you can’t complete the one hand that can beat a five of a kind!!”

But.

But!

But!!!!!

“Heh.”

He’d done it.

He’d actually done it.

Instead of ending this on the first card exchange, that idiot was waiting until the second. He had likely thought getting his hand on that first exchange would still seem enough like cheating that he needed to get one of his two cards at a time. And that unnecessary concern had given me the chance I needed to turn this around!

“Heh heh. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!”

“...? What? What is so-...”

“What’s so funny? Your little announcement just now.”

I could drop the act now.

I didn’t need to keep grinning like an idiot and speaking more politely than I was used to.

I completely changed my tone of voice.

Had he been confronted with so many unusual things that he had wanted a little bit of stability?

Or had his ability to control the cards I was dealt caused him to let his guard down? Deciding the number of card exchanges with a roll of a die had likely been “insurance” against doubts if he won too brilliantly after only the one exchange.

Either way, it was now my turn to go on the offensive!

“After all, I have the king of spades. I exchanged my cards first, so it makes no sense for you to have the king of spades in your hand.”

“What..?”

“Oh, c’mon. Why do you look so surprised? With a look like that, you would almost think you had known from the beginning what cards we would be getting.”

Kodama Ryou seemed to focus more on what I said than on my tone of voice or my attitude.

He seemed to be saying he had seen through my farce and that no one cared about that.

“Don’t make baseless accusations!! There’s only one king of spades and it’s in my hand, so you couldn’t possibly have it. Anyone could tell you that!”

“Fine then. How about we both show our hands at the same time?”

I waved my fanned-out cards toward him while making my suggestion and looking down on him.

“But what will happen then?”

“What do you mean?”

“What will happen to the game if the king of spades shows up in both of our hands? By the way, do you remember my hand? I’m going for a royal flush or straight flush of hearts, so the king of spades wouldn’t help me in the slightest. I have no reason to cheat and slip one into my hand.”

“...”

“But what about you? Oh, well I guess that goes without saying. You’re after a five of a kind using the four kings and the joker. You’re obviously the one who benefits from having the king of spades in his hand.”

I slammed one hand down on the poker table as I threatened him.

Yes, and I slammed my five cards down as I did so.

“So what will you do? Are you going to call this game off to see if one of us has been cheating?”

“...!!!!!!”

Most likely, quite a few things were spinning through Kodama Ryou’s head.

Had something gone wrong with his Usuhiki Warashi card-swapping Package?

Had an amateur high school boy slipped in a card he was hiding up his sleeve?

Was there only the one king of spades and I was only bluffing?

But he had a way of secretly checking on the truth.

Yes.

I had slammed my cards face-down on the table, so no one could see them.

That meant he could swap them out with his Usuhiki Warashi Package. By swapping out my cards and his cards, he could quickly determine whether I was bluffing or not.

But would he really take the bait?

He was sure to remember which two cards were the ones I had been dealt. By swapping them with two in his hand, he could determine whether I had a king of spades or not.

But that would mean getting rid of his nearly-completed five of a kind. He could swap out cards but not increase or decrease their number, so he had to break up his hand to use that paranormal power.

He had one unneeded card still, but to be absolutely sure, he would have to swap out two. Either way, he would lose one of the cards he needed.

What would he do?

What would happen?

What would the snakeskin con artist choose?

“You got me.”

Kodama Ryou casually shrugged.

“I give up. I lied to shake you up a bit, but I never thought you had the actual card.”

“...!?”

It can’t be!!

I quickly checked the cards I had placed face-down on the table.

He had made the switch.

One of the five had transformed into an unfamiliar king of spades!

“Now that we’ve established you have the king of spades, can we get on with the game?”

He threw away his five of a kind?

Is he going for four of a kind with the joker now!?

And as I had explained myself, the king of spades was only a hindrance for me since I was going for one or the other of the highest two straight flushes of hearts.

He had worked through my accusation and stayed on the path to a powerful hand while also crushing my own possibilities.

And since I had said myself that I had the king of spades, I had no choice but to accept this unwanted gift.

“Now that we’re back on track, it’s time for the second card exchange.”

Kodama Ryou grinned like he was already imagining himself playing his four of a kind against my worthless hand.

This would end with the next exchange.

I could not fold here, so it would all be over soon.

“As before, you can go first.”

Part 11 (Day 10/04 03:09 - 03:20)

The Usuhiki Warashi Package allowed one to freely swap out any of the fifty-three cards on the table.

However, they would notice something was wrong if they tried to swap out a card being viewed by their opponent or a third party. That meant they could only use any face-down cards or the five in their own hand.

They did not know where any card was on the table until they used the Package.

Just by thinking about the card they wanted, the card would be automatically brought to the user’s hand. They could also force an unwanted card onto their opponent.

If the card happened to be viewed by their opponent or a third party, a safety would activate and stop the swap.

Based on my observations, those seemed to be the details of the Package that Kodama Ryou was using. Some of that might not have been exactly right, but it had to be on the right track.

“Two cards.”

“Heh heh heh!!”

As soon as I made my announcement, the snakeskin guy burst out laughing.

“Oh, oh? Oh, oh, oh, oh!? I can’t be sure, but what is this? I thought you were going for a royal flush or straight flush of hearts? You had three of the needed cards, so what’s going on? Are you throwing away the two cards you got in the first exchange and getting two new ones? So you gained nothing at all and have no real chance of winning? What could possibly be going on here!?”

“...”

I did not need to answer.

I simply tossed the two face-down cards toward the dealer.

Kodama Ryou showed no interest in the cards I was dealt in return.

“Then I’ll take one. Just one. I actually have two I don’t need, but there’s no point in exchanging the other one,” said the laughing con artist. “Oh, and you can’t change anything with baseless accusations after the fact. Just to be clear, I will get the joker and complete my four of a kind. That will end this. No matter what anyone says, the result can’t be changed after the second exchange is complete. It saddens me to think you can’t use those provocations of yours anymore. Here, one card. I’ll use this joker to kill you.”

He slid a random card toward the dealer and another was slid back toward him.

If that was the joker, he would have an irregular four of a kind made up of three kings and the wild card.

He was exactly right.

The old lady whose pension was stolen, the granddaughter suffering from a created illness, and most importantly my own life would all be over.

However...

“.....................................................................Huh.....................................................................?”

I heard a voice.

The con artist’s suit and shoes were covered in snakeskin and he always had a thin smile on his face, but a close look showed his fingertips were trembling. That tremor travelled up his arms and infected his entire body. Finally, his chair began to rattle below him.

“Wh-wh-why?”

“Did you see something strange?”

“Why!? How could I possibly have not gotten the joker!!!???”

Only after shouting did he realize what he had said. He cautiously looked to the gallery, but that no longer mattered.

The game was set from the moment he finished his second exchange.

“It’s not surprising you didn’t get the joker.”

I spoke casually because his life wasn’t worth anything with more weight to it.

“After all, it’s right here in my hand. And the system was made so it wouldn’t swap out a card your opponent or a third party was looking at, right?”

“...What?”

“And without the joker, all you have is three kings.”

As I spoke, I threw my fanned-out cards face-up on the table.

“I have the ace of diamonds, the joker, the ace of hearts, the king of spades, and the eight of spades. With the joker, that’s three aces.”

“What!!!???”

It looked like the con artist wasn’t the only one surprised.

A stir ran through the gallery as well.

“In poke-->>

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