The Zashiki Warashi of Intellectual Village

Volume 6, 4: [email protected]???(2/6)

f she doesn’t have psychic powers?”

“She’s definitely the murderer, but there’s no good evidence. So let’s find a way to get a guilty verdict even if it means making up some nonsense about psychic powers. After all, she’s the murderer either way! ..Something like that?”

“That feels like something someone would do only after exhausting every other possibility. We’re only in the preliminary stages of the investigation and the autopsy hasn’t even begun, so why would the higher ups be in such a rush?”

“Hmm.” The Mystery Freak mixed her chopped cabbage into the curry sauce with a spoon. “Why was that professor even targeted in the first place?”

“He was apparently a really strange person, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d caused some trouble here and there. Of course, I’ll admit chopping his torso apart is a little over-the top. I would have expected a strangulation or blow from a glass ashtray.”

“What if it was to steal his research data?”

“We’ll investigate that too of course. The psychic research was apparently just a performance to appear on TV and get his name out there. His actual area of study was information engineering, but it must not have been interesting enough to get much research funding. That means he was doing proper research too.”

He was just like the people who appeared on TV as UFO or ghost researchers. No matter what methods they used, the divide between known and unknown was wide. And if you were known, things were a lot easier. Even if that meant playing the fool on TV. A lot of researchers knew that very well.

But..

“That doesn’t explain why they sliced him in two. It was like the murderer went out of their way to kill him in a more difficult way.”

“Detective, what are the most popular reasons to destroy a corpse?”

“A grudge, to transport the corpse, to send twisted presents to people, or to hide the victim’s identity if it’s the fingerprints or teeth. They’ll also sometimes gouge out a portion of the corpse to hide a bite mark or a distinctive wound.”

All of the professor’s parts seemed to have been there, so none of them fit but the grudge. Unless, of course, they were chopping him up to transport him and gave up partway through.

“Then how long would it take to destroy the corpse?”

“It depends on the tool being used. With a single knife, it would take twenty minutes to cut through the torso while putting all of one’s body weight into it. With an axe, ten minutes if you were careful about the fat that stuck to the blade. With a chainsaw, one minute. With liquid nitrogen, less than thirty seconds I guess.”

“A master swordsman with a katana could do it in one second.”

“And could a psychic do it in zero seconds?”

Then again, if the tool they were using was too powerful, they would need something like a giant cutting board to make sure they didn’t damage the floor. And the more irregular the tool, the fewer the possible suspects. For example, only a master swordsman would have a top level katana.

Huh? But doesn’t that mean..?

“Even if it was done with psychic powers, would a psychic really kill someone with their powers? They might as well leave a note on the scene saying they did it.”

“That’s true. That was the first thing that occurred to me, but it didn’t really lead me anywhere.”

Even if PSI_ver_RAIN had a grudge against Professor Matsukai, wouldn’t she specifically choose not to use her powers? It would have been safer to use a kitchen knife or utility knife anyone could get their hands on.

In movies and dramas, psychics would proudly proclaim that they could kill as much as they wanted because the cause of death couldn’t be scientifically proven, but that wasn’t actually how it worked. Plenty of murderers had been found guilty even with no murder weapon or corpse ever found. The evidence only had to indicate who had acted with the intent to harm who. Just because you were missing a motive, a murder weapon, a corpse, fingerprints, or DNA evidence didn’t mean you couldn’t establish that a crime had been committed.

Take burning someone to death as an example. Even if you didn’t know the exact chemical makeup of the flammable liquid, you could forcibly establish guilt as long as you had evidence showing Person A had poured a suspicious liquid on Person B just before they burst into flames and died. In a court of law, an unclear cause of death was not all that powerful a barrier.

Then again, whether it was a trick or not, I still had no idea why someone would go to the trouble of chopping the guy’s torso in two.

And in times like this..

“Thinking it through in reverse can be surprisingly helpful.”

“You mean thinking about what would have happened if he hadn’t been chopped apart?”

“Even if he’d been strangled, PSI_ver_RAIN still would’ve been a suspect due to her proximity to the eccentric professor. But setting that aside, what if there was someone else who would have been a suspect if he hadn’t been chopped in two? That would make all the work worth it.”

Staying at the scene for so long and getting evidence on your clothes from all the blood was a huge risk. Who had taken that risk to go through with that bisection? Whether it was PSI_ver_RAIN or a third party, it had to benefit them in some way.

“Well, either way, I just have to gather all the information I can.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“How about I start by asking you why you believe any information the police find will end up in your hands?”

While we continued our discussion, I felt a shift in the college students’ gazes inside the dining hall. They were all moving toward the window.

The focus on us outsiders had moved elsewhere, so had someone shown up who was an even more obvious “outsider”?

I initially thought of the corpse being transported, but I doubted they would carry it across the middle of the campus.

And when I looked out the window, I spotted a distinctive sailor uniform in the crowd.

Waist-length black hair had just the end dyed red. The white sailor uniform had red lines. The boots rose higher than the knees and they had a plastic-like material on the joint for an overall futuristic design.

“Hey, Mystery Freak. You stay here.”

“Hm?”

She looked confused with her spoon in her mouth, but I got up from my seat regardless.

“It’s PSI_ver_RAIN. She’s on campus for some reason, so I’m going to capture her. You watch from the window! If she vanishes before I get there, you tell me over the phone which way she went!”

Part 5 (Uchimaku Hayabusa)

I didn’t take off running like a scene from a police drama. I remained calm and composed. I left the dining hall, made my way to the nearest exit from the school building, and went outside. I stayed slow while blending in with the crowd. If you made it obvious you were chasing someone, they would start running with all their might. Getting as close as possible and then making a quick dash had the best odds of capturing them.

..Except she noticed me almost right away.

The girl in the sailor uniform turned right around and started running like a sprinter despite her short skirt.

“Oh, hell! I guess a suit really does stand out too much!!”

This required a bit of a change of plans. I started running in my suit, despite how it looked. I had to catch up to her. This really did look like a scene from a police drama, so I could tell cellphone cameras were pointing my way from all over. I almost crushed some kind of RC helicopter sitting on the ground for some kind of experiment. We were less than two hundred meters apart, but there was still a risk of losing sight of her when she ran around a corner.

And..

“Oopsie daisy.”

“!? Kyah!!”

The Mystery Freak suddenly rushed out from the side and tried to hit PSI_ver_RAIN with a janitor’s pushcart she had found somewhere. The fleeing girl just barely managed to dodge it, but she lost her balance as she kept running.

I chased after her and shouted to the Mystery Freak as I ran past.

“This is dangerous, so stay back!”

“Detectiiiive, don’t forget that I just kept her away from the nearest exit from campus.”

Is that what you were after? You are so not cute.

PSI_ver_RAIN had her hands full running, so she accidentally ran into an alleyway at some point. The narrow space was located between the concrete wall of a school building and the wall that surrounded the entire campus. It was apparently a nice storage space for the students because all the bicycles gave us even less room to move and trash bags full of crushed cans were piled up further in.

Simply put, it was dead end.

When the girl saw the pile of trash twice her height, she hesitated, but she frantically turned around when she heard my approaching footsteps. Her legs were covered by futuristic boots that rose above the knee and her eyes were covered by colored mobile glasses. She wore a pink hat that looked perfect for an unrealistic police officer costume. Even the heart-shaped paint tattoo below her eye had to be a part of her character. I was in the middle of a criminal investigation, so I didn’t like being the target of those glasses that could switch between recording and transmitting.

For some reason, PSI_ver_RAIN spread her arms and pointed them toward me.

Hm? That’s not quite a sign of surrender???

“S-stay back!”

“I am a police officer. I see no reason to follow your orders.”

“Don’t you know?” Her lips were trembling. “I am PSI_ver_RAIN. I have a special power that can tear apart steel. Take one step closer and you’ll regret it!”

..Hm..

I scratched at my head and checked the time on my watch.

“2:10 PM. Suspect confessed to possession of a deadly weapon.”

“Eh? What?”

“Oh, deadly weapons don’t have to be a knife or something. Training in martial arts or a dangerous pet can count too. It’s more about the situation than the physical evidence.”

As I spoke, I reached into my pocket.

When she saw what I pulled out, PSI_ver_RAIN’s pupils grew as large as possible.

“And now that you’ve threatened me with a ‘deadly weapon’, I can respond in kind. For example, pull out my handgun as a warning. You yourself admitted you intend to harm me with a tool capable of killing me.”

“Eh!? Ehhh!? B-but my psychic powers are.. Eh? Don’t tell me..you actually believed this farce..”

Over the course of a few seconds she went from wanting me to believe her to wanting me to not believe her.

This is what happens when you use a pathetic bluff to make your getaway.

And so I had decided to settle this in the most ridiculous way possible.

“2:11 PM. Shifting from voluntary questioning to forced arrest. Apprehending the suspect on charges of threatening a police officer and attempted murder. ..Turn around and put your hands on your head! Slowly kneel on the ground! Hurry!!”

Part 6 (Uchimaku Hayabusa)

A fair number of uniformed police officers would still be on campus to manage the scene of the crime, so I decided to leave PSI_ver_RAIN with one of them.

“I didn’t do it.”

“Then you shouldn’t have run. Back at the voluntary stage, you could have refused my request for a testimony or questioning.”

We spoke to each other as I walked her handcuffed across the campus.

“I had no reason to kill the professor. Just having him attach electrodes to my head was enough to increase the value of my brand name as a psychic middle school girl.”

“We can talk about all that at length.”

“His belt.”

She suddenly said something more interesting.

“His belt was missing, wasn’t it? Look into that and you’ll know I didn’t do it.”

“..? What are you talking-..?”

I trailed off because the Mystery Freak popped out from around the corner of a school building. She waved me over with a uniformed police officer on either side of her.

“Detectiiive, I brought the police.”

“Good job, civilian. This is the first time I’ve felt like praising you.”

One of the police officers gave me a light nod.

“Sorry we’re late, Uchimaku-san. I am Katou and this is Arisaka. Nice to meet you.”

“Hi. This girl is the suspect.”

“Um, can we take over since this area is under our jurisdiction?”

“Of course.”

I gave a light push on PSI_ver_RAIN’s back while she was still handcuffed. We had finally taken the first step. A university professor had been found in his locked lab with his torso chopped in two and it was supposedly a psychic murder. No matter who this crime benefited, this girl was almost certainly near the center of it all. Had she killed him or had someone else framed her? Even if it was the latter, anyone who took the time to frame her was probably closely related to her.

But just as I thought that, something came over me.

It was truly just a whim, but I spoke up anyway.

“Katou-san.”

“Yes?”

“You can take over if you want, but, well, could I have the handcuffs back? I can always have them sent back at a later date, but then my department chief might take the shipping fee out of my pay.”

“You’re kidding, aren’t you? She’s a murder suspect and we’re outside. We can’t remove her restraints.”

“You just have to place your own handcuffs on her and then remove mine.”

“..”

“Can’t you do it?”

Something I could not quite pinpoint was bubbling up inside me and urging me onward.

“Is there some reason why you can’t remove my handcuffs? That would be strange. Unlike a house key, handcuff keys aren’t unique. They should open no matter whose key is used. ..Assuming you’re really using a handcuff key issued by the Metropolitan Police Department, that is.”

He was quick to react.

The police officer going by the name Katou immediately pulled a revolver from the holster at his waist. But before he could raise his arm, I swung my collapsible baton and hit the back of his hand. As he dropped the gun, I swung the baton back to strike his jaw from the side.

With a solid sound of impact, he fell to the ground.

That left Arisaka. It seemed he hadn’t simply been fooled like me. He must have determined PSI_ver_RAIN was too far away because he reached for the closer Mystery Freak. He pulled her close, wrapped an arm around her neck to use her as a shield, and pressed his revolver to the side of her head.

I had already thrown aside the baton and drawn my handgun.

We were three meters apart.

“Put the gun down, Arisaka!!”

“You hand over Amagoi Haruka! Then I’ll release the hostage!!”

Amagoi? Oh, he must mean PSI_ver_RAIN.

“Do you really think I can do that?”

“Then let me tell you something neat. My gun has no rifling, so it doesn’t leave rifling marks on the bullet it fires.”

Arisaka raised the handgun’s hammer with his thumb. Tension raced through my gut, but a moment later, he did something I didn’t expect.

He moved the muzzle away from the Mystery Freak’s head, aimed toward Katou’s head on the ground, and fired.

historical

With a harsh gunshot, the collapsed form gave a large twitch and then never moved again.

“Arisakaaa!!”

“And are you familiar with laser processing technology? It’s the opposite of a 3D printer, so the material is cut away according to a program. That can add any rifling marks you want to a bullet. For example, the rifling marks of the gun you’re holding right now.”

“Why do you want PSI_ver_RAIN that badly?”

“After that gunshot, a crowd is going to gather here before long, Detective Uchimaku. We are everywhere. Getting our hands on a bullet submitted by the coroner will be easy.”

“You’re willing to go that far to make this look like a ridiculous psychic murder!?”

“If you don’t like it, then hand over Amagoi Haruka. We’ll leave you alone then! If you don’t want to ruin your life, then make a compromise here!! You worthless government worker!!”

I breathed in and out.

And then I spoke.

“Like hell I’ll do that.”

“I see. That’s too bad.”

“That’s my line. Listen, Arisaka. You’re holding a gun and you have a hostage. You’ve even proven that it’s a real gun. That leaves me with no reason to hesitate.”

“I might be worried if this was Los Angeles, but it’s Japan. You’re going to shoot me in the head in a country where you have to write a report explaining even a warning shot? What if you hit the hostage? Well!?”

“Yeah, if this was a movie, maybe I’d shoot you in the shoulder or skillfully shoot the gun from your hand. But this is reality. People can still move their fingers after being shot in the heart, so I’ll shoot you right through the head to make sure you don’t even make any involuntary movements.”

“Put your gun down, Detective Uchimaku! All you’re going to do is accidentally kill the hostage!”

“This is your final warning, Arisaka. Slowly lower the gun! I don’t want to kill you!!”

“Uchimakuuuu!!”

“Arisakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”

An explosive gunshot seemed to strike my heart.

A fireworks-like smell reached my nose with a hint of a rusty odor.

The man using the Mystery Freak as a shield wobbled to the side. Strength left the arm holding Enbi and a dark red hole had appeared in the center of his forehead.

Like a marionette with its strings cut, Arisaka – no, someone going by that name – collapsed to the ground.

He did not even have a chance to scream.

I put the gun away, approached the collapsed victim, crouched down, and placed my index and middle finger on his neck. “2:20 PM. Suspect is dead.”

“Ah..ahh..ahhhh..”

PSI_ver_RAIN had grown pale and groaned quietly in a sitting position.

Meanwhile, the Mystery Freak rubbed her neck and scarf that had been held.

“You didn’t have to go that far..”

“I was worried about you.”

“Eh? Ah?”

The Mystery Freak grew flustered as I ignored her, crouched down, and gave a heavy sigh. How I would be treated didn’t matter. I hadn’t done anything wrong and something else mattered more.

“I was right. It’s fake.”

I checked through the corpse’s pockets, pulled out the police badge, and checked it over. The ID looked legit at first glance, but it didn’t have the hologram or other counterfeiting countermeasures. And I could only tell because I had a police badge of my own. The average person on the street would never notice.

“The uniforms are the same. Police uniforms are made by famous designers with registered designs to prevent counterfeits. This is like a brand-name bag made in a counterfeiting factory. It looks the same, but something looks off when you take a close look at the stitching.”

“Detective, could you get inside a police station with that?”

“I saw through it at first glance, so not a chance. That talk about getting a bullet from the coroner was a bluff. They aren’t that skilled.”

Even if I got my hands on a school uniform, I would never fit in at a high school. This was the same. Someone from “outside” might be fooled, but anyone on the “inside” would immediately treat them as an outsider.

“I don’t know who they are, but I guess you can ensure Rain-chan’s safety by getting her to a police station.”

“Yeah, but we can’t have someone else do it. Any police officer on the street could be one of them, so we’ll have to do it oursel-..”

I trailed off and closed my mouth.

I had realized something, so I asked.

“Mystery Freak, when you called them here, did you use my name?”

“No. What about it?”

“Both Katou and Arisaka were calling me Detective Uchimaku from the start. They already knew my name and what I was doing.”

I brought a hand to my forehead when I realized the most likely possibility.

“The cellphone. They might be intercepting the signal.”

“Then do you want to put in a dummy SIM card? I’ve got one for emergencies.”

“No.”

I looked to PSI_ver_RAIN who was still sitting on the ground.

“Do you have a cellphone or smartphone other than those mobile glasses?”

“N-no! This thing is convenient, so I can use it for phone calls, emails, and everything..”

“Then let’s swap SIMs.”

“Wait! Then what about you, detective!?”

“Mystery Freak, I’ll trade for your smartphone.”

“Oh, so that’s it. But that’s not fair! You’re taking all the best parts for yourself!”

I didn’t have time to argue.

I could hear footsteps approaching after the two gunshots. Were they students, police officers, or “them”? I pulled the handcuffed PSI_ver_RAIN to her feet by the arm and the Mystery Freak and I turned our backs on each other.

“I’ll prepare a safe line afterwards, so don’t throw away that smartphone.”

“I can’t guarantee your safety anymore. If things get too much for you to handle, get out of here. Understand?”

With that said, we ran off in different directions.

PSI_ver_RAIN looked back several times as we left.

“H-hey! Should you really be leaving them like that!?”

“Of course not! But getting you to safety comes first. I don’t know who’s on our side, so I can’t just throw you into a group of police officers we find walking around!!”

I didn’t have time to explain the situation, so I couldn’t complain if someone misinterpreted this. I would be treated as a police officer who had shot and killed a civilian – even if they were dressed as a police officer and extremely suspicious – and then left the scene without explaining myself or preserving the scene.

And at the same time, I would be an armed fugitive on the run with the top suspect of another murder case.

“For now, we need to get to my home ground. They can’t get in my workplace with their counterfeit equipment. I’ll probably be arrested at the entrance, but don’t worry about that. I’ll explain the misunderstanding and ensure your safety.”

“Y-your workplace?”

“The Metropolitan Police Department.”

Part 7 (Hishigami Enbi)

I made a run for it.

I couldn’t let myself get caught. If one of those “police officers” caught me with no one else around, it could easily end up like that previous situation.

So I chose routes full of people, ran inside a school building, and made my way to the main office.

After slamming the detective’s phone down on the counter, policemen rushed down the corridor from both directions.

“Freeze!!”

“Put your hands on your head!!”

“Wah, wah, wah! What? What is this!? I just came here to drop off a lost phone!!”

I did as I was told and glanced at the police officers surrounding me.

Hm, I can’t tell which ones are real and which ones are fake quite as well as the detective could.

..That means I need to get rid of them all.

I breathed in and shouted loud enough to be heard inside the office.

“Stop!! This phone is an important piece of evidence! I secretly filmed exactly what you were trying to do to me after shoving me into the cop car!! That’s why you want the phone, isn’t it!?”

“Wha-?”

I swung my Suneky scarf around in front of the flustered police officers(?).

“Wahhhhh!! What happened to college autonomy!? All I did was visit for the open campus, so why are a bunch of perverted police officers after me!?”

The door next to the counter burst open.

The usually docile-looking office workers rushed out with fiendish looks on their faces.

“And you call yourselves humaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!?”

“Simply letting you in our school was bad enough, but now this!? It’s the 21st century and you’re still using your authority to act like kings!?”

“Eh? Wha-? No! Wait! I-if you interfere with our work any further..”

“That’s not about to stop us, you horny policemen! Don’t underestimate college autonomy!”

Good, good.

Even now, universities tended to hate interference from the government. If some government workers were strutting about like they owned the place and trying to have their way with some poor girl, the university was going to riot.

My diversion proved effective and the detective and PSI_ver_RAIN had probably escaped at about the same time.

I could have left his phone behind, but I collected it to be nice. I turned it off and removed the SIM to make sure it couldn’t be tracked and then I snuck away from the scuffle.

Now, then.

Unlike the detective, I didn’t have to run around all over the place. I wasn’t good at that either. If I wanted to help them, I needed to hide in one of my secret bases and use the internet for logistical support.

I think the closest one is in Roppongi.

Part 8 (3rd person)

Hachikawa Tomoe and Tsumada Mio lived in neighboring apartments.

Tomoe was an active girl who excelled at sports while Mio would have looked more at home flipping through a book of poetry in a secluded room. Except that was only the impression she gave those around her. While she looked like a Japanese doll with her long hair, her best subject was dance and she could get quite fired up singing all of an idol group’s songs at karaoke. Recently, she had finished mastering the choreography of the famous net idol PSI_ver_RAIN. She just happened not to let anyone see this side of her because she found it embarrassing.

“Who would have thought this would happen?”

It was 2:30 in the afternoon on a weekday, but the two girls were watching TV in an apartment living room. They had eaten lunch a bit ago, but they were already reaching for some cookies.

The TV was still talking about the trains stopped due to signal trouble, warning about the possibility of dirty water coming from the pipes due to problems with the water purification equipment, and everything else that was going wrong.

There had been frequent infrastructure issues lately, but it seemed to have crossed a line today. Their school had cancelled classes for the day because it could not guarantee the safety of the path to school. Those celebrating the day off were bound to fail because, without lessons at school, the students needed to maintain their motivation and study on their own. While realizing there was a good and bad side to everything, Tomoe enjoyed the post-lunch break they were taking.

“It sure is scary outside. I can see why they don’t want us going to school.”

“Yeah, just look at that chaos. I’d lose sight of you right away in that crowd, Mio.”

“Y-you would not.”

Tsumada Mio sat with her legs to the side. She had waist-length black hair and a plain white long-sleeved sailor uniform. Both the black stockings covering her entire legs and the fact that she was wearing her uniform on a day off pointed to her diligence. Her only piece of fashion was the hairclips on her bangs.

She had been placed at the center of an incident involving a Jinmensou.

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