Volume 9, Chapter 1: Fill with Shinobu

Part 1 (3rd person)

The Zashiki Warashi in a red yukata remembered.

As she dreamily dozed off, she pulled out the kind memories stored in the tidy drawers of her mind.

There was white snow outside.

But even if they were trapped at home by the bad weather, young Shinobu was not even remotely displeased.

“It’s cold, it’s cold. I can’t let go of your hand just yet, Nee-chan.”

“That’s odd. You feel warmer to me, Shinobu.”

“Sigh. Setsubun really was a lot of fun, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was.”

“But why did so many Oni show up? They were really packed in.”

“Well, while the rest of the country is telling the Oni to leave, we were only welcoming the fortune. They probably thought this was a nice shelter.”

They continued their discussion while watching the heavy blizzard out the window, but then Shinobu’s mother walked up with a barely-hidden smile.

“Heh heh heh. But the festivities have only just begun. Shiiinobuuu, are you familiar with February’s main event: Valentine’s!?”

“Hm? I’ve heard of that.. Nagisa was getting really impatient about it.”

Shinobu tilted his little head and groaned in thought.

“Oh, right! That’s the day when Nee-chan gives me chocolate!!”

“Eh? But I’m not very good at cooki-..”

“Nee-chan gives me chocolate!!”

He repeated himself to cut her off.

He also looked up at her with sparkling eyes.

“I get snacks without having to do any chores! What a great day. How presumptuous.”

“No, um..”

“I wonder what kind of chocolate Nee-chan will give me. White chocolate? Strawberry chocolate?”

“Um..”

That Zashiki Warashi, who could not even make her rice balls triangular, grew flustered for once, but young Shinobu finally noticed.

The light of hope faded from his eyes and a disappointed look took its place.

“Are you..too busy?”

“Th-that isn’t it..”

“You don’t have to do it. Don’t worry about me. Besides, making chocolate has to be some kind of advanced magic. You don’t have to force yourself. Normal is best.”

Shinobu waved goodbye and started to leave.

“..”

He had said some admirable things, but he was clearly crestfallen and the heavy aura was evident even from a distance.

“........................................................................................................................”

“Oh, honestly!!”

Soon, the Zashiki Warashi was in the kitchen mixing the sweet-smelling contents of a bowl.

Shinobu’s mother, who was making some Western-style sweets, laughed in her apron.

“You may not have planned for this and you might complain, but you still take a stab at making the chocolate. That’s the best thing about you.”

“This isn’t some moving story. When he takes it that far, it might as well be a form of violence. I clearly just gave into Shinobu’s threat!!”

“If you don’t like it, then why not just buy some chocolate for him? They sell French and Belgian chocolate online.”

“Try doing that and I guarantee you his shoulders will droop as he gives you a disappointed smile!!”

“Oh, be careful while melting that. Go too far and the oil will separate and solidify on its own. Children can be cruel, especially when it comes to flavor. It’s like some kind of spinal reflex. If they don’t like even the smallest thing, they won’t hesitate to call it yucky!”

“And without thinking about where people’s talents lie!”

“They think adults are perfect at that age. And if you’re planning to go the homemade route, you need to do it right to make a nice memory out of this.”

Part 2

“..Nn..”

It was an unbelievably warm morning for December.

I rubbed my eyes inside the futon and finally realized why. There was someone else under the covers with me. I smelled a sweet scent like old incense, felt a soft sensation, and sensed the gentle warmth of body heat.

Before, I might have yelled at her and kicked her out, but things had changed.

“Hey, Zashiki Warashi. It’s getting pretty late in the morning. You need to get up too.”

“..”

I stuck my hand under the blanket and shook her shoulder, but she did not respond. However, she wasn’t actually asleep. She looked limp at first, but there was some slight muscular resistance.

She was feigning sleep, but what had she taken issue with?

“Zashiki Warashi! Hey, you Good-for-Nothing! ..What, do you not like what I’m calling you?”

I tried calling out to her a few times and pinched her stomach.

I decided to change tactics and quietly whispered to her.

“Nee-chan, wake up already.”

She fidgeted a little, but that didn’t seem to be it either. I pinched her more gently than before.

Hmm, but what’s left? ..I guess only that.

It embarrassed me since I still wasn’t used to it, but the lump under the blanket was excitedly waiting for it. I cleared my throat and turned the dial in my mind up to max.

Special Attack☆Lovey Dovey Mode: On!!

“C’mon, Yukari. Wake up. I want to see your face when I say good morning.”

Only then did a sullen look pop out from below the blanket. That good-for-nothing and sexy Zashiki Warashi wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

She rubbed her cheek against my chest while I thought back on the recent “change”.

Yes.

We were a couple now.

Part 3

Everyone must have been busy because the Zashiki Warashi and I were the only ones at home.

We ate breakfast together with a mosquito net covering the kitchen table. Breakfast was a fried egg and a salad, so it had likely been made by my mom who loved Western food. I poured milk into two cups and stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster. I didn’t feel like just waiting around for a few minutes, so I moved to the neighboring living room and switched on the TV.

“

”

“Nothing good on the news today either.”

“Is there even anything cheerful going on these days?”

Meanwhile, the toast finished. The Zashiki Warashi and I left the TV on as we returned to the kitchen and pulled out the hot toast. I put butter on mine and placed the fried egg on top, while the Zashiki Warashi spread a chocolate paste on hers. Then we both began eating.

“Aren’t you going to make yourself sick eating that much chocolate first thing in the morning?”

“I think I was dreaming about chocolate. I don’t remember the details, though.”

We continued our breakfast with the news playing in the background.

“Zashiki Warashi, make sure you eat your celery.”

“Ugh..”

“Yukari.”

“Then feed it to me.”

“..”

“No one’s watching. Right?”

I didn’t really like it, but even as a couple, the Zashiki Warashi hadn’t lost her habit of taking the superior position. Whenever something worked against her, she would reverse our positions, even if it had to be by force. To me, it looked like a self-destruction strategy.

And thus, I ended up placing the thinly sliced celery on top of the Indoor Youkai’s charming tongue.

Once we finished eating, I captured the lazy Zashiki Warashi and made her help me clean up. After that, we lined up side by side to brush our teeth and wash our faces. I felt a stinging in my eyelid, so I may have still had some detergent on my fingers.

“C’mon, Shinobu. Don’t rub your eye like that.”

“But..”

“Your Onee-chan will dry it off with a handkerchief.”

“You don’t get to call yourself that when I have to swallow my embarrassment and call you Yukari!!”

Meanwhile, we moved from the washroom to the living room. I stepped on something along the way and realized it was the morning paper. I glanced down and read the headline.

“

?”

It was even dryer than the TV news and didn’t catch the interest of a high school boy like me. It wasn’t good material for conversation either.

We didn’t have anything to do now that breakfast was over, so we lazed around. I was wearing a hoodie with the front open, a shirt, and some rough pants, so I’d gotten lazy with my clothing. It was only when we were alone together, but she let me rest my head in her lap pretty often.

“Shinobu, should I clean out your ears while I’m at it?’

“You did that yesterday, didn’t you?”

“I want to do it as many times as I can.”

I had no real reason to say no, so I let her. I was repeatedly attacked by the temptation to go back to sleep, so I continued speaking with the Zashiki Warashi while dozing off.

“Come to think of it, Nee-chan. I’d like to take a bath with you.”

“!?”

“Hey, wait! What was that scraping!? It didn’t hurt, but that scares me even more!!”

“Th-that was your own fault. Where did that come from all of a sudden?”

“Well, Love Master Jinnai Shinobu feels like he’s done just about everything, but he still hasn’t taken a bath with his girlfriend.”

“Shinobu’s first.. N-no! You can’t trick me!! Besides, we took baths together all the time when you were little!!”

“With. His. Girlfriend.”

“Uuuhhhhh!!”

The hermit crab of her heart seemed to have withdrawn.

I would need to be a little cleverer, but that could wait until next time.

“Didn’t you want to ask me something?” I asked.

“I can’t seem to beat the event battle in this zombie FPS. Medic! Mediiiiic!!”

“Why are you always alone even with online games? Is it because you never leave the house?”

“I-it’s called being a proud solo player. I’ll tear your heart to shreds if you keep that up.”

“What kind of idiot plays a major event battle on their own? Do you want to get killed?”

“That’s why I’m asking for some help from a plain and inconspicuous medic. Will you do it or not?”

She already had tears in her eyes. In most online games, the healer was an important role that was in high demand. The high firepower characters were really only any use in the offline campaigns.

“Fine I guess. When does the next event battle begin?”

“Eleven in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah. Didn’t some PTA get angry because late night event battles turned kids into sleep-deprived zombies? But anyone logging in at this time has to be outside the norm as well.”

“Okay, Shinobu. All done. ..Hoo.”

“Gyawah!! Don’t blow in my ear! It makes me shudder!!”

“Time for the other one. Roll over and let me see it, Shinobu.”

I ended up lazing around even more.

No Youkai-related incidents or Packages turned up, but they were fulfilling days.

I had everything I wanted.

It felt silly to ask for anything more.

Part 4 (???)

Nekomata: “Oh? Are you sure you’re fine with that?”

Part 5

The promised time arrived.

If we really wanted to take on the event battle in the best possible environment, we would have been holed up in our respective rooms in front of our computers, but it felt stupid to speak over headsets inside the same house. It would slow things down a little, but I was lying in the Zashiki Warashi’s room and logged into the game console using my ID.

The Zashiki Warashi was using a full-spec tower desktop she had put together herself for gaming. You could get decent benchmarks out of a laptop bought for a few tens of thousands of yen off of a late-night shopping show, so not many people did that these days.

“Y’know..if you’ve got this expensive computer in your room, why are you always swiping my laptop and smartphone?”

“When I just want to surf the web in the living room or on the porch, something mobile is a lot nicer.”

With a glance back at the Zashiki Warashi messing with her 3D goggles, I clicked the icon for the zombie FPS already installed on the machine. An update file screen appeared, so I waited for it to finish. Meanwhile, a banner ad appeared at the bottom of the screen.

“

!!”

“I always have to wonder if anyone’s really stupid enough to click on those things.”

“But without ads, the service wouldn’t be free.”

“So it’s a necessary evil.”

“I think there was a way of paying for an ad free version. How much was the monthly fee again?”

“It’s a necessary evil!!”

The Zashiki Warashi moved her flat screen monitor from the tea table to the floor. With the gamepad in one hand, I enjoyed the online game while shoulder-to-shoulder with her.

The zombie FPS was essentially a game where the human player shot all the zombie CPUs. However, the player could become a zombie under the right conditions and you could throw raw meat onto the field to lure a bunch of zombies into the enemy camp.

“No matter how much money they spend on the polygon models, they just aren’t scary after you’ve seen the real deal. It makes you want to complain how unrealistic these zombies are.”

“Kh!”

“Hey, Zashiki Warashi-san! Hey, you worthless Nee-chan that came to rescue us, automatically turned into a zombie even though she wasn’t bitten, and ended up causing all sorts of trouble!! Gau gau gau!”

“W-we settled that already, didn’t we!? We had that day-long purification ceremony where I was punished by adding ‘nyan’ to everything I said and called you ‘master’!!”

My cute girlfriend blushed and grew quite flustered.

Of course, I wouldn’t joke about it if it had really traumatized her.

By the way, the latest trend in the zombie FPS was to ignore the zombie hunt and begin firefights between the humans while those walking landmines wandered around. Oh, and there was a popular video of someone ignoring all the rules and doing everything they could to protect a little girl zombie.

“This is one hell of an event. I mean, a thirty meter Titan zombie? The original Titans were monstrous enough. This is supposed to be a modern warfare game, but we’ve traveled back to the age of Greek mythology.”

“Online and social games like to fall back on legends when they run out of ideas.”

“This has done a lot of collaborations with other franchises lately, hasn’t it?”

We were firing like crazy on the screen.

Shooting the giant didn’t actually do any damage. That only exhausted it. Once it ran low on stamina, it would gasp for breath and veins would bulge out all over its body. Those were what you had to attack. In other words, the trick was to efficiently attack during that limited opportunity.

“Ahh, ahh! Why!? I run out of ammo at the worst possible time, the veins go back in, and his stamina recovers! C’mon, Shinobu! Ammo! Ammo!!”

“You don’t have to yell. I’ll give you the ammo I picked up here and there either way. And do you really need those 3D goggles!? If you’re just after a decent score, the flat screen has got to be more efficient. You’ve been shaking your head around and it’s getting in the way!!”

“It isn’t a game if you aren’t enjoying it!!”

“Try to make that sound profound all you want, but you’re the one that came crying to me because you couldn’t beat this event. Besides, why are you using bullets like they expect you to? Do you love the management staff or something?”

“?”

She looked confused and rested her head on my shoulder.

Don’t try to seduce me into telling you, you evil woman! Of course that’s gonna make my heart pound!!

“There’s a chainsaw and circular saw for breaking locks, right? Those do a ton of accumulated damage every second. I think it’s even more than the Gatling gun. Get close to that slow Titan’s leg with that and I bet it’ll be gasping for breath and showing its veins in about ten seconds. The normal soldiers with guns would headshot you before you got close, but this thing’s wielding a giant club and it should be easy to distract since it makes a counterattack when you face it and fire on it.”

“Shinobu.”

“But a medic is pretty good with any support weapon that isn’t a gun. They might lose to a specialized combat engineer when it comes to a crowbar or duct tape, but I think they have an A rank with the circular saw.”

“Shinobu!! Kyah! I love you!!”

And thus began the nightmarish scene of the fighting medic standing on the front line wielding a circular saw against a giant. The Zashiki Warashi, as the proper soldier, fell back and focused her rifle fire on the veins as they bulged out.

This was only a game, but it felt like we were defeating a tank with a bamboo spear.

But wasn’t this supposed to be a realistic military game supervised by a former Green Beret sergeant?

“Oh, ohh, ohhhhh!! I’ve never seen this screen before!! That odious Titan is collapsing!!”

“Celebrate if you want, but don’t get crushed by the falling body. Knowing this development staff, they’ll definitely count that as a hit and say you died even after making it this far.”

“And the special reward is a Santa costume and ten million stars! Kyahaa!!”

“Hey!! Aren’t you gonna share some of that!?”

I shouted back at her as the safe and reassuring results screen finally appeared.

Of course, I wasn’t leaving completely empty-handed since the rejoicing Zashiki Warashi was hugging me and rubbing her cheek up against me! I had joked about the advantages you got by being beautiful, but I felt like this was providing numerical proof of that.

Part 6 (???)

Yuki Onna: “Don’t you think this is awful?”

Succubus: “What is?”

Yuki Onna: “That Jinnai Shinobu and that slovenly Youkai ended up dating all of a sudden. She made full use of the unfair advantage she has from knowing him since before he was born and then it was a zombie outbreak that clinched it!? Does that mean I would be in her place if I had been there instead!?”

Aoandon: “Hmm. With you, I think there wouldn’t have been any trouble and you would have easily slaughtered all the zombies to get him home. That wouldn’t have been all that memorable.”

Yuki Onna: “Ggffh! Curse my high specs..”

Aburatori: “Well, she did apparently go to save him on her own, turned into a zombie on her own, and had him save her on her own. ..If that was all a plot to get him to fall in love, I don’t think I could ever trust another woman.”

Succubus: “I think the real difference is the Zashiki Warashi’s sexy body versus your flat body.”

Yuki Onna: “M-my white clothes are a symbol of virginity, so once I lose that, my body and attributes will change. In other words, once Jinnai Shinobu violates my virgin snow, I will become a plump adult Youkai!”

Aoandon: “Yes, but that first step is hopeless. You’ve locked the keys inside the car of your life.”

Yuki Onna: “Ghh!?”

Nekomata: “So are you just going to give up? Are you going to let that pair of giant breasts have him?”

Yuki Onna: “I never said that. There is no law forbidding polygamy for Youkai. I just have to exemplify a type of charm she lacks. That means I have a chance to receive some of his love on the side. Welcome, Jinnai Shinobu. You will now veer off the proper newlywed course and onto the inescapable course of love and hate!!”

Marguerite: “Are you really okay with that? I guess most anything looks happy if you set the hurdles of life low enough.”

Aoandon: “Mwa ha ha!! But if Jinnai Shinobu gets married, then I automatically come with him as something like a daughter!! Heh heh heh. A high school boy with a daughter.”

Yuki Onna: “Shut up, daughter. I am not at all interested in what they call an oyakodon! We can set up a rotation if you want, but don’t you dare climb into the same futon!!”

Nekomata: “You’re fine with a rotation?”

Furutsubaki (Small): “Sigh. Marriage is the standard way for a Youkai to repay a debt, but we’re never going to reach an agreement when everyone else is so stupid and keeps lowering the bar..”

Part 7

My shoulders gave a small jump when I overhead that conversation as I rolled up the HD cable connecting the game console to the TV.

I honestly blurted out the thought in my head.

“What kind of epoch-making idea is that!? Polygamy is okay..? Then, then! Can I have the Zashiki Warashi as my Youkai wife and Madoka or Nagisa as my human wi- owww!!!???”

“..”

“I was- I was just kidding!! Don’t give me that sulking look! Did the double-punch of unfaithfulness and calling you ‘Zashiki Warashi’ put you in this bad moo- gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!?”

You know how you want to tease your girlfriend when she gets jealous? Well, I certainly didn’t expect to get a strange wrestling move as a counterattack!

A-agh! My diaphragm! I can’t breathe!!”

“Y-Yuka..cough..Yukari-hyan!! Pant, pant! Please just hear me out!!”

“What is it? A death poem? Then go ahead.”

“Just so you know, straddling me like that in your kimono probably isn’t a good idea!! I can kind of see everything! You don’t wear panties, remember!?”

“..!!!???”

“Eh heh. For such a sexy body, it’s amazing how perfectly hairless you are down- gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

I was beaten up just a little bit.

After working up a sweat, the Zashiki Warashi swept her hair back with the composure of the victor.

“Honestly, you have no idea how to treat a lady, Shinobu.”

She then folded a cushion in two and used it as a pillow. She was lying on her side and she beckoned me over with a seductive fingertip.

“Come on over here. Your Onee-chan will teach you.”

“..”

Um.

Uh.

I know she has a self-destructive habit of trying to act superior when she’s feeling cornered, but..

“I don’t want to hear that from a centuries-old virgin. I mean, who was it that started crying last night as soon as I turned out the lights and leaned over you?”

“Gh!?”

“And just so you know, that crying started when I’d only grabbed your shoulder and pushed you back onto the futon!! I hadn’t even taken off your clothes!! Hell, I hadn’t even given you a goodnight kiss!! What about that was worth crying over!?”

“I-I was scared.. I’m not used to seeing that animalistic look in your eyes.”

She hesitantly looked away while sweating nervously, but this was an important issue for me. For a teenage boy, it was a life-or-death issue! It was more important than the entire planet!!

“And why have you been keeping everything off limits even though we’re a couple now!? You’ve got that sexy body and I can’t even kiss you!? Is this some kind of torture!? Am I that guy in Greek mythology or whatever who’s submerged up to the neck but can’t drink a single drop!?”

“Shinobu.”

She cleared her throat to try to calm herself down.

I could tell she was trying to regain control and argue her way out of this, but I wasn’t going to give in that easily! You couldn’t underestimate Jinnai Shinobu, the boy with surprisingly decent grades who was known as the Intellectual Yakuza, was elected class rep, and had been forced to handle Madoka!!

“Besides, isn’t it unnatural for humans and Youkai to do that kind of thing? I mean, we might look similar, but we’re completely different lifeforms.”

“But Hafuri is half-human and half-Zashiki Warashi.”

“Kh! Even the best system is fragile when there’s a counterexample!!”

“And if old stories are fine, there’s one about a Yuki Onna doing it with a double-digit number of mountain men, absorbing a lifetime’s worth of energy, and giving birth to ten children with her beloved human husband.”

“Just how energetic is that marriage-obsessed Youkai!?”

“So let’s do it!! If you don’t think we can have a kid, then we just have to keep doing it until you do!! Majina left the future to me and was erased by the alteration to history, so I’ve decided to carry out his final wish (Sparkle). So let’s do it!!”

I seriously moved in toward my girlfriend who was striking a seductive pose. We’d already established that, nine times out of ten, love was the result of the mood or the atmosphere, right? She could be selfish, but she could also give in surprisingly easily. We’d even started dating when I pretty much said “Eh? Weren’t we already a couple?”, so this would work! I could do this! I could!!

But once I leaned over her and grabbed her slender shoulders, her leg shot up. She kept the leg bent and placed the sole of her foot against my solar plexus.

She then used the momentum of a roll to throw me with her leg. I flipped 180 degrees in midair and landed on the tatami mats like a swinging door.

I had just enough time to recognize it as a type of tomoe-nage before I crashed to the floor.

“Gbhah!? Cough, cough! Ah..ahh!!”

“Sorry, Shinobu. I know you tried to make it hard to say no by acting cool and mentioning that final wish, but I just can’t. Now continue doing your impression of a seal.”

“You..you do understand you’re supposed to be my girlfriend, right?”

“Shinobu, there’s more to being a couple than physical contact.”

“But there’s something wrong when there’s none of that!!”

“What!? You can still stand up after that!?”

“It would seem you can’t contain your surprise, but don’t underestimate youth. That’s the thing about puberty! If a girl in a miniskirt tells you she’ll take off her panties in front of you, you’ll gain the passion needed to stop a giant meteor!!”

“Shinobu, I think you have a twisted idea of youth.”

Our late-night “wrestling” was transforming into a real martial arts match, but I was up against a Youkai here. When I raised a bizarre war cry and charged at her, she grabbed me and swung me around with a single arm before launching me horizontally.

“I-I’m not done yet! You haven’t broken my arms or legs! I can still stand!!”

“You can still go zombie mode without a Kasha? Then I suppose I should give you your last rites.”

She shook her head in annoyance and reached into her ample cleavage.

She pulled out (my) smartphone, displayed an image, and held the screen out toward me.

“Shinobu, look at this crayon drawing. Special Attack☆We’re All Friends!!”

“Gyaaaaah!! Wh-what!? Where did you find that drawing!? And why did you take a photo to save it for all eternity!?”

“Sigh. Why did you draw the leaves green and the sun red? It is cute, though.”

“Please stop.. Don’t distract me with heartwarming memories now! Ahh, the Jinnai Shinobu gauge inside me..is shrinking.. Nooooo!!”

I hung my head from the physical and mental attacks.

W-we may have started dating, but does she still have complete control of me? Are you okay with that, Jinnai Shinobu!?

“U-uuuh. I guess physical attacks are useless. A high school boy is no match for her.”

“Heh. What did you think you c-->>

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