Chapter 32: live with pain
Kiki insisted on waiting for the other person to get off.
But it waited by the door for a long time, and it still didn't wait for the person to appear, and it became a little puzzled.
Qiqi got up and circled around the car, calling out to the car from time to time, but still no one paid attention to it.
He Yang retracted his gaze and turned back to the villa.
He Yang came to the rest room and saw a middle-aged man in a wheelchair.
The middle-aged man had some vicissitudes on his face, sitting alone by the window, looking out of the house.
Hearing the footsteps, the middle-aged man looked back and said in a low voice, "Where's A Ruan?"
"The weather is good today, A Ruan should go out to take pictures..." The middle-aged man said, still immersed in his memories, "A Ruan said that you refuse to smile every time you take pictures, but you still—"
He Yang interrupted: "She is dead."
"Dead?" The middle-aged man was stunned. After a long time, he came to his senses and murmured, "Yeah, A Ruan has been gone for seven years..."
"You don't like taking pictures anymore after she's gone..."
The memory in the middle-aged man's mind is still a little confusing. He sorted out the memory in his mind little by little and asked, "What about the child you brought back last time?"
"Didn't he come with you?"
He Yang came over, stood beside the wheelchair, looked out the window, and replied, "I died in a car accident."
"Also dead?" The middle-aged man was surprised, "All dead..."
When He Yang came out of the rest room, he met the old housekeeper in the corridor.
The old housekeeper came over and asked, "Young Master He, do you want to hold a funeral for Mr. Xu?"
The housekeeper had just called Jiang Lin to confirm the news that Xu Chengyan had died, and Mr. Xu hadn't had a funeral yet.
And Mr. Xu was the first person He Shao brought back to the old house. Although he was already dead, he still had to do some things that should be done.
"Mr. Xu has no parents. If Young Master He wants, he can be buried at the He family's side."
But when the man heard it, he just said coldly: "Death is dead."
"Don't mention him." He Yang's voice was cold.
The butler hesitated, but nodded obediently and stopped talking about Mr. Xu.
He Yang turned back to the bedroom, sat alone on the balcony, and took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.
There were a lot of potted plants on the balcony, all of which were brought back by Xu Chengyan and the housekeeper.
I don't know what species it is, but there are a few potted plants with white flowers and a strong fragrance.
He Yang squinted and looked at the garden in the yard, a little distracted.
The smoke tangled in the fingertips, and the cigarette butts burned shorter and shorter.
He Yang didn't react until the cigarette **** burned his fingers and put it out in the ashtray.
Then, relight another cigarette.
He Yang was on the balcony, watching the sky outside darken little by little until it was pitch black outside.
The ashtray was full of cigarette butts. He Yang was half leaning on the reclining chair with his eyes closed, as if he had fallen asleep.
Until light footsteps came from the corridor, breaking the calm.
Kiki wandered outside slowly, with a Frisbee toy in his mouth, and moved to the bedroom.
The door was not closed tightly, Qiqi pushed the door open with his head and squeezed in.
No lights were turned on in the bedroom, it was pitch black, except for a little light on the balcony.
Kiki walked around in the bedroom, but couldn't find the person he wanted, so he had to get to the balcony, came to the man, lowered his head, and put the frisbee on the ground.
"Ouch!" Kiki arched the man's leg with his head, wanting him to play with him.
He Yang said indifferently, "Look for someone else."
"Ow!" Kiki shook his tail, as if he understood, so he turned around and ran out again.
But not long after, Kiki came in with another toy in his mouth.
This time, Qiqi was holding a colorful hairball, put the hairball at the man's feet, and arched the man's drooping hand with his hairy head.
He Yang withdrew his hand and ignored the big dog.
And Qiqi is very energetic, even if the man ignores him, he still keeps harassing the man, running in and out of the room, carrying a lot of toys.
The pet toys were piled up all over the place, He Yang looked down and—
All of them were toys that Xu Chengyan bought.
However, the toys looked tattered, and several of the dolls had been bitten, revealing the cotton wool inside.
Qiqi liked Xu Chengyan very much, and even liked the things that Xu Chengyan brought back with him, biting and playing.
Sometimes the toy Xu Chengyan brought back the first day was bitten by Qiqi when he went to see it again the next morning, so he had to buy a new one for Qiqi.
In the end, Qiqi had already saved up quite a few toys bought from Chengyan, and none of them were intact.
He Yang picked up a teddy bear doll from the ground and saw that one of the doll's eyes had been bitten off by a big dog.
"Ow!" Qi Qi called out to He Yang and ran out again.
In the corridor, the housekeeper noticed the movement on Kiki's side, so he came over.
The housekeeper turned on the lights in the corridor, stood outside the bedroom door, noticed the figure on the balcony of the room, and called out, "Young Master He."
He Yang looked over and said, "Clean the balcony tomorrow, all the garbage will be thrown away."
"Okay." The housekeeper nodded, came to the balcony and looked at the ground, only to realize that the "garbage" He Yang said was referring to Qiqi's toys.
The housekeeper also recognized that these toys were bought by Xu Chengyan, and said, "This should be Mr. Xu—"
He Yang: "Don't mention the dead."
The butler fell silent and stopped talking.
"The garbage is thrown away."
The housekeeper euphemistically said: "But Qiqi likes..."
He Yang looked at the pile of tattered toys on the ground, looked away without caring, and said casually, "Then buy it again."
The housekeeper had to come down first.
But before leaving, the butler stopped at the door of the room, turned around, and asked, "Young Master He, are you... okay now?"
"Yeah." He Yang's voice was still the same as usual.
The housekeeper didn't say anything more, just closed the door, turned around and went downstairs.
When going downstairs, the housekeeper suddenly remembered that when Mrs. He died seven years ago, the young master was as indifferent as he is now, even a little indifferent—
As if the dead man was just a stranger.
At that time, because of the sudden death of his wife, Mr. He was hospitalized with excessive sadness, and everyone was busy taking care of Mr. He.
The young master was the only one left in the old house, flipping through the albums left by Mrs. He over and over again.
Then, throw away all the cameras in the house.
He Yang stayed in the old house for one night and returned to the apartment the next day.
It started to rain again outside, He Yang listened to the sound of rain, went back to the bedroom, and fell asleep.
When he was half asleep, He Yang was disturbed by the noise from the living room and woke up.
The movement in the living room was very light, like someone was packing things in the dining room, and there was the sound of the refrigerator being opened.
He Yang got up, walked to the corridor, and called out, "Yanyan?"
The apartment was quiet, and no one answered.
However, the noise in the restaurant continued. He Yang walked over and saw Aunt Nanny.
The nanny aunt was sorting out the food she bought. When she saw He Yang coming over, she quickly stopped the movement on her hands, wiped her hands with a towel, and asked, "Mr. He, did you disturb you? I'm sorry..."
He Yang didn't answer, just looked at the dishes on the table and frowned slightly.
"I bought the vegetables and put them in the refrigerator." The nanny aunt looked at the man's face and said cautiously, "But I see that the vegetables I bought last week have not been moved. Is it because Mr. Xu doesn't like it, or the taste has changed? what?"
Xu Chengyan usually takes care of everything at home, so auntie will directly ask Xu Chengyan for anything.
It's just that she sent a message to Xu Chengyan recently, but the other party never responded, and the phone call couldn't get through.
Auntie had no choice but to say, "Mr. Xu's phone can't get through, so I don't want to disturb you..."
He Yang just said lightly: "Next time you have something to ask me directly."
The aunt asked tentatively, "Where is Mr. Xu?"
"Xu Chengyan is dead, don't look for him." He Yang's tone was a little impatient.
There were always people who wanted to mention Xu Chengyan in front of him.
He also has to repeat it over and over to others—
Xu Chengyan died.
He Yang: "Don't mention him in the future."
Aunt Nanny was stunned for a moment, then nodded: "Okay..."
Auntie turned around and was just about to continue cleaning up the dishes, when she suddenly thought of something, and quickly asked, "Mr. He, do you want to clean up the things in the apartment?"
Generally speaking, when someone in the family dies, all the things of the dead person will be cleaned up, and not all of them will be left at home.
After He Yang heard this, he looked at a suitcase in the corner of the living room.
That suitcase belonged to Xu Chengyan, and he never opened it after he brought it back from Anshi.
He Yang: "The suitcase was thrown away."
Auntie nodded, walked over to open the suitcase, and prepared to organize the contents first.
There are many small bits and pieces in the suitcase. Auntie raised her head and asked, "Mr. He, are all these things thrown away?"
He Yang looked over and saw the stamps in the suitcase at a glance, as well as a small wooden sign in the corner.
He Yang walked over step by step, leaned over, and took out the wooden sign
The wooden sign was still a bit cold to the touch, He Yang rubbed the handwriting on the wooden sign and said slowly, "Throw it away."
Psychological clinic, office.
Jiang Lin sat opposite the psychiatrist with red eyes.
"He sent a message to me that morning..." Jiang Lin's voice was a little choked, "He said that the stockade was too far, and he might not be able to come back at night, so he wanted to change to another place..."
"If I could persuade him at that time, he would not have gone to the stockade, and he would not have had a car accident..."
"It's my fault... I killed two people..."
The psychiatrist listened quietly, handed over the tissue, and reassured, "Mr. Jiang, it's not your fault."
The doctor is a very young man with a gentle voice. He wears glasses and a white coat, which makes people feel reassured.
But Jiang Lin's emotions were not calmed down, and his voice was hoarse: "It's almost... I'll be able to save them..."
In fact, on the morning of April Fool's Day, my sister-in-law was a little hesitant.
His sister-in-law told him that the stockade was too far away, and he was afraid that he would not be able to come back at night. It happened that the tour guide also recommended another place, so he thought about whether to change the place.
But when he heard it, he did not persuade him.
In the end, my sister-in-law went to the stockade as originally planned, and never came back.
"I can dream of him every night... the day he had a car accident..." Jiang Lin lowered his head, hugged his head, and collapsed.
Every night, he could dream of the deformed van.
Xu Chengyan was covered in blood, and stretched out his hand to him, asking for help.
He ran frantically, trying to save his sister-in-law from inside. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't touch the people in the van, just a little bit every time.
It was as if some invisible force separated him from his sister-in-law, and he could never save anyone.
Even his dream, he couldn't save it.
"I'm so sorry..." Jiang Lin burst into tears.
He killed two people.
"Mr. Jiang." The doctor was very patient and said slowly: "I'm not very good at saying comforting words. Those hypocritical words are actually useless."
"It's never been empathy, and time doesn't fix everything."
The doctor was cruel, tearing open the wound bloody, "The only thing that can be done is to accept the reality."
"I can't accept it..." Jiang Lin kept shaking his head, "I can't accept it..."
He was sad and in pain...
They had known each other for five years, and his sister-in-law was like his brother—
But he killed his brother.
He wanted to go back to the past, go back to April Fool's Day, and tell his sister-in-law not to go to the stockade.
He also hopes that there are ghosts, and that his sister-in-law can appear in front of him.
But reality is reality, cold and ruthless.
There are no time machines and no ghosts in reality.
"I don't accept..." Jiang Lin was unable to speak, and his body twitched.
He has kept some words in his heart for a long time, but he can't tell the people around him.
Everyone didn't care about Xu Chengyan's death, not even He Yang.
Sometimes, he wondered if only he could see Xu Chengyan, and no one else could.
Otherwise, why did Xu Chengyan die, and he was the only one who was so sad?
"I'm really... so sad..." Jiang Lin cried so intermittently.
He is obviously a big boy in his twenties, but now he is crying like a child, and his emotions are out of control.
The doctor pushed his glasses and said gently, "Mr. Jiang, the pain can't go away."
"There's no way to change what's happened, we can only try to get used to the pain—"
"Live with pain."
When he came out of the psychological clinic, Jiang Lin's eyes were still a little red and swollen, and he could see the traces of crying.
But now his mood has calmed down a lot, and talking is a good way to relieve him.
Although he is still in pain, he wants to live well.
Jiang Lin got into the car and drove towards the apartment.
After the car stopped, Jiang Lin got off the car and went to He Yang's house first.
Jiang Lin went to ring the doorbell, it was the nanny aunt who came to open the door.
Jiang Lin asked, "Where's my brother?"
Auntie: "Mr. He is on the balcony."
Jiang Lin walked towards the balcony, and saw the man sitting lazily on the reclining chair, and the ashtray on the table next to him was full of cigarette butts.
Jiang Lin said, "I'll get my things."
He Yang didn't look back, looked out the window and said casually, "What?"
"My stamps." Jiang Lin walked in and said, "My sister-in-law bought me stamps when she was in Anshi."
Jiang Lin: "I know you brought back his suitcase, give me the stamp."
He Yang said unhurriedly, "The suitcase has been thrown away."
"Throw it?!" Jiang Lin rushed up immediately, held the man's shoulder tightly, and said excitedly with red eyes: "It's his thing, why did you throw it away!"
"Everyone is dead." He Yang frowned and removed the hand on his shoulder, "It's pointless to keep things."
"He Yang!" Jiang Lin couldn't believe it and asked, "Aren't you going to be sad! He's dead!"
He Yang still had that calm look on his face, and said coldly, "If you die, you will die."
He knew that Xu Chengyan was dead, so he didn't need to emphasize it again.
already dead.
Jiang Lin was so angry that he slammed the door and left.
He Yang continued to lean on the reclining chair and looked at the sky in the distance.
Hearing the quarrel just now, the nanny didn't dare to speak any more, and left after tidying up the house.
He Yang was the only one left in the apartment.
The surroundings were quiet except for the sound of rain and wind outside the window.
He Yang listened to the sound of the rain outside, and habitually reached into his pocket, wanting to touch the cigarette.
But in his pocket, besides the cigarette, He Yang also encountered another thing—
A small, cold oblong thing.
He Yang took out the rectangular object, looked at the familiar handwriting on the wooden sign, and gently rubbed his palm against it.
[May Mr. be safe every year]
He Yang held the wooden sign, squinted and felt a little sleepy.
The sound of the rain outside the window became less and less, and the consciousness became less and less.
In a trance, He Yang seemed to hear a gentle male voice behind him—
"gentlemen."
The male voice was still the same as before, as if the owner of the voice had just gone out for a short trip and has now returned.
He Yang woke up, and the wooden sign in his palm fell to the ground in an instant, making a crisp sound.
But when He Yang looked back, there was nothing behind him.
The apartment was still empty.
There was only him.