Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu?

Volume 3, The Second Question(1/2)

Volume 3, The Second Question

Please write the diary entry for the first day of the training course.

Himeji Mizuki's Diary:

After getting off at the tram stop, I was overwhelmed by a sudden dizziness. The smell of the trees and the change of scenery, the difference in air quality compared to the streets of the city, seemed to prophesize that something good would happen.

Teacher's advice:

It seems the change of environment is a great stimulus. I wish for Himeji to have a great time and create some memories that belong only to the second year of your high schooling.

Tsuchiya Kouta's Diary:

After getting off at the tram stop, I felt overwhelmed by dizziness. I wonder what caused it?

Teacher's advice:

It's car sickness.

Yoshii Akihisa's Diary:

At the tram stop, I took in a whiff of the air, it seemed a little sweet, yet sour. A very mysterious smell, and my deep thoughts echoed whether or not it was the specialty of this town.

Teacher's advice:

I am definitely sure if Tsuchiya besides you was not vomiting, you would have a different impression of the air quality of this town.

Noticing the greenery pass the bus window, I finally left the city that I'm so used to staying in, and am heading towards the highlands that give off such a realistic feeling.

"Seems like we're going to be on this tram for another 2 hours."

Himeji-san is sitting opposite me as she slips her handphone back into her pocket. She should be checking out the bus directory.

"There's two hours left, but I don't want to sleep. What should I do~"

As the space in the bus is small, there are only so many things we can do. Our hand-held games were confiscated, so we couldn't bring them. There's unexpectedly so few things that we can do.

I turn around and look at Yuuji, who's looking outside. Also looking rather bored, he yawned.

"Yuuji, got something interesting?"

"Isn't there a mirror in the toilet? You can look into it until it breaks."

"Eh, you're saying that my face looks interesting?"

"Nope, you're mistaken. I'm saying that your face—really can't make anyone laugh."

"What do you mean by you can't laugh at it!? Is my face so bad that no one can laugh at it!?"

"I'm saying what's interesting in your guardian spirit."

"A guardian spirit? You can see those kinds of things, Yuuji?"

"Mm, I can see it. Dyed in blood, messed-up long black hair, that's a rare guardian spirit you have there."

"No matter what, anyone who looks like that wouldn't be protecting me, right?"

That should be well-known as a ghost from behind, right?

"Relax, I'm just half-joking."

"Ah, what the hell, you scared me."

"Actually, the hair is coffee in colour."

"Forget about the colour, that's not the important thing!"

Though I feel that Yuuji should be joking right from the start, I still find it a bit horrifying. If I'm to listen to him even more, it'll become a monster talk. But then again, my luck recently has been really bad, maybe it's some impure thing coming over to haunt me.. Never mind, let's just prepare some salt to chase them away.

"Oh, Minami, what are you reading?"

Opposite Yuuji, diagonally in front of me, Minami is reading a book that's about as large as a notepad. It's really rare for Minami to read this when she's not really good in Kanji. Is it something that introduces red rubies?

"Hm? You're talking about this? It's a book of psychological tests. I bought it since it costs 100 yen, but I didn't expect it to be so interesting."

Psychological tests? Seems like we have something to kill the time off.

"Ohh~ seems interesting. Why don't you give me a question, Minami?"

"Mm, alright."

After saying this, Minami flips through a few pages.

"Then let's start. 'Please choose someone from the opposite gender that fits the following colours'."

So, a colour impression? I suppose this is to choose who I find suits the colour the most, right?

"'① Green ② Orange. ③ Blue'

Please say the names of the persons who you find are suitable for the above colours."

Ooo~ Green, orange and blue, huh?

"Erm—Minami, why are you staring at me so intently? At least let me answer the question first."

"I, I'm not! Stop yapping and start answering!"

"Hm~..if that's the case, then 'Green=>Minami, Orange=>Hideyoshi and Blue=>Himeji-san', or something like that."

PLACK—Minami lets out a terrifying sound between her fingers.

"Mi, Minami-san..why must you rip the book right through in half?"

"AND YOU DARE ASK WHY!?"

"Eh?"

"WHY IS MY COLOUR GREEN AND MIZUKI'S BLUE? CARE TO EXPLAIN?"

Wa! Though I don't know what's going on, she's really infuriated! For her to get so angry from just a psychological test, do I have something against tests?

"Eve, even if you ask me why, I.."

Because you're wearing grassy-green underwear—she'll throw me out of the bus window if I say this, right?

"I won't get angry, so just say it."

"Because you were wearing grassy-green underwear."

"SAKAMOTO, OPEN THE WINDOW!"

"YOU'RE THINKING OF THROWING ME OUT RIGHT!? YOU'RE THINKING OF THROWING ME OUT OF THE WINDOW RIGHT!!?"

"Shimada, you can't just throw trash out of the window."

"Thanks for stopping Minami, Yuuji, but you just treated me like trash without thinking, right?"

"Doesn't matter anyway, since you're not trash, but a scumbag."

"What now~ I haven't been treated like this so cruelly in a long time."

"You should put a scumbag into a waste carriage."

"And even Yuuji's treating me like one.."

Why must I be always treated like this!?

Just as I grit my teeth to endure this agony of humanity, Yuuji easily snatches that booklet of psychology (or rather, it was one anyway) from Minami's hands.

"AH! What are you doing!?"

"Let me see! Green represents 'friend', orange represents 'source of motivation', and blue represents—ohh. I see."

Yuuji glances at Minami and me a few times before giving a sly look. I'll go mad everytime he gives such a look.

"Sa, Sakamoto! Return that to me!"

"Sorry sorry. It looked interesting, so I really felt like borrowing it to take a look."

Minami puffs her cheeks in anger as Yuuji doesn't look sincere at all when he apologized.

"Speaking of which, does Yuuji want to participate?"

"You're right. Shimada, can I join in too?"

"Alright alright..but, but I have to make this clear, there wasn't any significance in that question just now!"

"Okay okay, I got it."

What was written on that book?

"Can I join in too?"

At this moment, Hideyoshi moves over. He's sitting together with Muttsulini behind us, seems like he's bored as well.

"I'm okay with it."

Minami looks a bit unhappy, seems like she's a bit jealous of Hideyoshi.

"Well, thanks. Ah, Akihisa, regarding the answer just now.."

"What answer?"

"The question just now was 'Please choose someone from the opposite gender that fits the following colour', right? Who did you choose for orange?"

"You, Hideyoshi."

"..I'm happy to hear that when you mentioned this, but I do feel really troubled by this.."

Hideyoshi lowered his head as he muttered this. What's going on?

"Speaking of which, is Muttsulini not participating?"

"Looks like he's asleep. I heard that he did quite a lot of investigations."

historical

I poke my head out past the back of the chair, Muttsulini is definitely sleeping.

"I guess it's better not to bother him."

"You're right."

Seeing him sleep like this, it'll be pitiful if he's to be called up suddenly.

"Erm, excuse me. Can I join in as well?"

Sitting opposite us, Himeji-san shyly raises her hand.

"Then let's have everyone play.

I answered for Minami while she still looked unhappy. Besides, she won't mind Himeji-san joining in as well.

"Oh yeah, Minami, about that 'opposite gender person that represents blue', what's the answer?"

"..I won't say it, even till I die."

"How, how did it become like this.."

Himeji-san's wide eyes look a bit teary. It's because of those teary eyes that I immediately thought of her the moment I heard blue.

"Ah..never mind, on to the next question."

Minami sighs and again flips through the torn psychology test booklet. To be able to rip a booklet right down the middle, how strong is Minami anyway?

"'From the numbers '1' to '10', please choose the first two numbers that you thought of.'"

"I'm 5 and 6"

Yuuji said.

"Well, I'm 2 and 7."

Hideyoshi replied.

"I'm 1 and 4."

I gave my answer as well.

"Then I'm 3 and 9."

Himeji-san finally has an answer.

After hearing our comments, Minami slowly flips through a page off the booklet in her hands.

"Let me see. 'The first number the person thinks of represents how others view the person'. If so—"

"A snarky, cool guy."-- Yuuji.

"A calm and sensible person."-- Hideyoshi.

"Go to hell."-- Me.

"Caring and cautious"-- Himeji-san.

Minami called out the results.

"Oh, I see."

"To be called sensible, I'm rather happy."

"Erm~ why am I the only getting scolded?"

"So I'm gentle and cautious, huh~"

We all said our thoughts.

"Next, 'the second number represents the real personality hidden within you'. So, let me see—"

Similar to what she did just now, Minami pointed at everyone.

"A just and gentle person."-- Yuuji.

"A very attractive person."-- Hideyoshi.

"Go and die painfully."-- Me.

"A strong-willed person."-- Himeji-san.

She again gives us the answer.

"Hideyoshi is really attractive."

"Himeji is a strong-willed girl, huh?"

"Erm~ Why am I being the only one scolded even more?"

"Sakamoto-kun really gives a feeling that he's gentle."

Our conversation starts to revolve around the psychology test, and everyone continued to have fun.

After that, Minami started to play a few of these psychology test with us.

After a while,

"..(Pats pats)."

"Ah, morning, Muttsulini."

"You're awake."

"..Woke up because I'm hungry."

"Oh? It's that time already?"

I pull out the handphone to confirm the time, and the time shown on the screen right now is 1:15pm. Normally, this would be past lunchtime already.

"Perfect timing. Why don't we have our lunch now?"

"You're right. We won't be able to finish dinner if we had lunch too late."

Food is a really important source of nutrition. I won't deliberately give any excuse that I ate already this time; that would truly be a waste.

"Ah, it's time for lunch, right? If so—"

At this moment, Himeji-san reaches her hand into a bag beside her, searching for something, and I have a bad feeling about this.

"Actually, I made quite a lot of bentos, so it possible.."

The prediction came true! Himeji-san took out a large bento box!

I'm really grateful for her kind intention, but unfortunately, the food that she makes aren't just a masterpiece of creativity, it's a strong poison that can threaten anyone's life.

"Sorry Himeji, but I did bring my own bento."

"Sorry, I brought mine as well."

"..Same here."

Yuuji, Hideyoshi and Muttsulini all pull out their lunches to prove it, seems like they were completely prepared.

"This is how it is, so Akihisa, please accompany Himeji as you eat your lunch."

Yuuji reveals an expression of glee over my misfortune. They must have thought that since I'm in poverty, I won't be able to prepare my own bento.

Hoho, you're too naive if you thought that.

"I'm sorry. Actually, I prepared my own bread."

"Oh my! My hand slipped! (smacks me)"

"..my foot slipped. (steps on it)"

"AHHH! MY BREAD! MY BREAD!"

After Yuuji caused me to drop my bread onto the floor, Muttsulini followed up by stepping on it a few times.

Damn it! Your combination is too perfect! How am I supposed to react?

Even so, I'm not so weak so as to give up even after my bread got stepped on a few times.

"Hahaha, you guys aren't careful at all. Really, why don't you treasure food more—"

"—You're right. Why shouldn't we treasure food? I'll finish up this squished bread, so Akihisa, just eat Himeji's bento."

""....(staring at each other)""

"Ah sorry Yuuji. My hand slipped so—"

"I'll grab you to prevent your hand from slipping."

""....(glaring at each other)""

"Then Akihisa-kun, if you don't mind—"

Himeji-san shyly brings the bento in front of me. I'm really~really happy, but after seeing the contents of the bento, I can't even bring myself to start tucking in.

"Ah~ Well, this.."

"Aki, do you want to eat my bento as well?"

Just as I was ready to use my specialty 'stomachache attack', Minami unexpectedly gave me an escape route. This is truly a once in a million chance!

"Thanks Minami for sharing! How about everyone open up their bentos? Then we can all share!"

I see Yuuji shoot me a 'what kind of bastardly idea is this?' blaming look. Really, this made me feel so good about it.

"Well, well Muttsulini and I will go back to our seats and eat."

"..(Nods head vigourously)."

Oh, so Hideyoshi and Muttsulini are both intending to escape, huh? Nevermind, my target has only been Sakamoto Yuuji right from the start!

"I don't need it, besides, I have Akihisa's bread in my hand."

Though Yuuji's face is looking as gentle as ever, his gaze is ever serious.

"Don't say this, Yuuji.."

"I see, so you want to eat my bento as well! Go ahead, take as much as you want!"

"GUUH!!"

My mouth got stuffed with a lot of things. Yuuji seemed to have stuff my mouth with sandwiches to prevent me from saying anything. Can I even say anything anymore?

I frantically chew on the food to swallow it. Humph! This American-style sandwich is too delicious! Roasted chicken with some special marinade on it.

"(swallows)—that was good!"

A layer of butter was applied on the surface of the toast to prevent moisture, only the leaves of the lettuce was used, the lettuce was used to wrap the tomatoes and chicken to prevent the moisture from oozing out, and there's a layer of wasabi sauce and mayonnaise on the chicken as well..

"Oi Yuuji, did you make this yourself?"

"..Can't I?"

How should I say it? The sandwich he made was surprisingly good, really shocked me. This guy really isn't some amateur at this, he always has his way of doing things.

"Then have some of mine."

This time, Minami places her bento in front of me. Ooohh, hers is traditional. Deep-fried meat balls, siewmais and asparagus rolls are all lined up nicely in the bento box. She still gave me these even though she was in a bad mood during the psychology test games, really, Minami is gentle! I have to see her from a different viewpoint.

"Then if you don't mind me."

Now, what shall I eat? I'm getting puzzled since I haven't eaten a proper meal for a long time. Oh~ well, then I'll take the siewmai! Though it's rude, I still used my hand to pick one up and pop it into my mouth.

"Aki, that, well..I'm trying to summon my courage to say this! Actually, I intended to let you eat that siewmai—"

"Hm? What? (chewing)"

"—because between the 2 siewmais , one of them has wasabi in it."

"ARE YOU STUPID!?"

SPICY!! I'M GOING TO DIE OF SPICINESS!! MY TONGUE HAS GONE NUMB!!

"Akihisa, you might be lucky in a certain sense."

Yuuji patted his hand on my shoulder just as I'm going about looking for water.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M LUCKY..ah yes! Since my taste buds are all damaged, maybe I might be able to take Himeji-san's toxic food! If so, I got to remain in this invincible mode and—

"I'm taking your bento, Himeji-san!"

"Ah, yes. Please have more of it."

"I'm tucking in—"

Waking up, I find myself in an unknown room.

"Ah, Akihisa, you're awake? Good..seems like the electric shock was effective!"

Yuuji raises what looks like an electric iron in his hand, revealing an expression that looks like he can finally heave a sigh of relief.

—ARE YOU JOKING? WAS I REALLY TREADING IN BETWEEN THE LINE OF LIFE AND DEATH?

"Speaking of which, is this where our camp is?"

"Ah, yes. Our school is rich, that's for sure. I heard that this hotel was bought by Fumitzuki Gakuen to be used as the dormitory for our training course."

This place was modified to be the dormitory for our training course? In other words, we can summon summoned beasts here, right?

—This is Fumitzuki Gakuen alright. However, since they're willing to splash the cash whenever they want to, I hope that the school will help provide free lunches.

"Oh, Akihisa! You alright!? What a relief..when I heard you start to regret everything you did in your past life, I thought you were gone.."

Hideyoshi, who came into the room, placed his hand on his chest.

Good thing I survived.

"Thanks for worrying about me. Is Hideyoshi staying here as well?"

"Yes, and with Muttsulini, the four of us will be staying here."

Seems like this place is large enough to allow 8 people to sleep here, but maybe it was because of the class sorting that the four of us can stay in such a large room..did they decide to put us problematic students here together?

At this moment, I noticed that the last person who's supposed to stay with us in this room isn't here.

"Where did Muttsulini go? Did he go out to peek?"

"I don't think it's nice to say that about your friend.."

Kachang. "..I'm back." Speak of the devil, Muttsulini's back.

"Oh, you're back, Muttsulini."

"..It's great that you're okay, Akihisa."

"Ah, so you were worried about me? Sorry about that."

"..Thanks to that, the information I worked hard to find won't go to waste."

"Information? You're talking about what Akihisa and I asked you to check? You're really fast!"

Yuuji had quite the reaction the moment he heard the word 'information'. Ah, we asked him to search out the culprit who took a photo of me (wearing an embarrassing maid costume) and recorded Yuuji's voice (his marriage declaration).

"..I got trail of the tools that the culprit used."

"Ohh, as expected of Muttsulini."

"..From the culprit's modus operandi, I can assume that it's the same person involved in both cases."

"I see. But not many people would do this thing. Since you feel this way, I suppose that's right."

Even so, doesn't this mean that we have two of this kind of people (the culprit and Muttsulini) in our year? That's really strange.

"So, who's the culprit?"

"..(Shakes head)"

After being questioned, Muttsulini shakes his head with an apologetic look.

"Ah, so you don't know who the culprit is?"

"..Sorry."

"Why are you saying sorry to us? You're willing to help us, and we're grateful for that."

That's right. I asked him yesterday, so how can we expect him to find the culprit today? Things aren't that simple.

"..I only know that 'the culprit's a girl, and her butt got burned a bit'."

"What are you investigating anyway?"

Wouldn't people normally check the name of the person, how the person looks or something? Who would know whether there's a burn on the butt!? I really want to know how that guy investigated this.

"..I set up a network over the entire school."

At the same time he said this, Muttsulini pulled out a small machine. What's this thing?

"..A mini-recorder. I bugged the entire school with a lot of these."

Beep--<welcome.>

After the button was pressed, a loud mix of voices echoes throughout the room.

"The voice quality's rather bad."

"Can't be helped. Since we're searching through the entire school, it's hard to maintain the sound quality and accuracy."

"Though we can barely hear that it's a girl, we can't tell who it is."

<I'll like to request for another Yuuji's wedding declaration..>

After that, it's another girl's voice. Like the previous one, we can't really tell who it is just from the sound, but this unique way of talking, and the content, anyone can just use their kneecap to guess who this is.

"IT'S, IT'S SHOUKO!! THAT GIRL, SHE HAS ALREADY STARTED?"

"She's really anxious about this."

Exactly what does Kirishima-san like about this guy anyway?

<Thanks for the patronage. Since it's the second time, I'll sell it to you at a cheaper price.>

<..The price doesn't matter, just hurry up and give it to me.>

<As expected of a rich ojou-sama, straight to the point. How about tomorrow—I wanted to say this, but the training course starts tomorrow, so I'll only hand it to you next Monday.>

<..I got it. I will endure.>

"Hoo, that was too dangerous..good thing the training course saved my life.."

"So it got delayed till next Monday."

Even so, we can't work on the weekends, so actually, we have only 4 days left.

"..And the other conversation includes the culprit's identity."

Muttsulini operates the machine again.

<Still a scary photograph. Wouldn't you get punished really badly if people are to find out that you've been secretly taking these photographs?>

<Well, actually, I got caught by my own mother before.>

<Then, were you okay?>

<She burned me on the backside. Really, how prehistoric was this kind of punishment already?>

What followed was some really boring business talk.

"..That's all we know of for now."

"I see, so that's the reason why you said that the culprit has a burn on the butt."

"From how the conversation went just now, it seems like the culprit's a girl."

"The other person seems a bit pretentious, but it seems like she's a girl as well."

We were worried about the sound quality, that it may be so bad that we wouldn't be able hear the conversation clearly, but since it's girls talk, if they aren't girls, it's Hideyoshi's doing.

"This is really a beneficial piece of information to us, but a burn on the butt..even if we're to flip a girl's skirt, we might not be able to find out who the culprit is. Ah~hum.."

"We can't even capture a burn mark even if we're to use an infrared camera.."

Beside me, Yuuji gives a serious look that shows that he's thinking of a way to peek at a girl's butt.

"So what were you guys talking about since a while back?"

Seeing us serious with that thinking look, Hideyoshi tilted his head slightly as he said this. That's right, we haven't told Hideyoshi what's going on.

"Hideyoshi, actually—(omitting the rest out)."

I gave him a brief explanation of what happened to us. If we explain it clearly, Hideyoshi should be willing to help us out.

"I see. But if the burned part's on the bu.."

Hideyoshi gives us a cute look as he thinks of a way to help us.

"Ah, but it'll be bathing time soon. Can't we just get Hideyoshi to check who has the burn mark on her butt?"

"Akihisa, why do you want me to enter the girls bathing area?"

Oh my, my proposal's too great! There should be no problems now.

"Not possible, Akihisa."

However, Yuuji dampened my enthusiasm. Is there something on the training course itinerary?

"Why not?"

"Well, that's to be expected, since I'm a guy."

"Just read the 3rd page of the itinerary booklet."

I obediently follow Yuuji's instructions and read the 3rd page. Looking at it—

~Dormitory bathing locations and timeslots~

Boys classes A, B, C -20:00~21:00 Large bathroom (Male)

Boys classes D, E, F -21:00~22:00 Large bathroom (Male)

Girls classes A, B, C -20:00~21:00 Large bathroom (Female)

Girls classes D, E, F -21:00~22:00 Large bathroom (Female)

Class F's Kinosheeta Hideyoshi -20:00~21:00 Personal Bathroom (4)

"Damn it! Now we can't get Hideyoshi to help us out now."

"Seems that way."

"Why am I the only one with a personal bathroom?"

And I thought that this was a perfect plan. What a pity!

Just as the four of us were muttering and thinking of a plan.

—DABOOM!!

"EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK AND GET DOWN!!!"

Our room door was busted open, and several girls came running in.

"Wha, what's going on?"

"Get over here, Kinosheeta! You three over there, don't think of putting up any resistance!"

Standing in the frontmost position, Minami immediately darted to the window to prevent us from escaping. Nice, as expected of Minami!

"Why did you guys run to the window so suddenly?"

This isn't the problem now, right?

"Now I want to know why in the world did you girls come rushing into our room?"

After closing the window, Yuuji questioned the entire group of girls. Muttsulini and I also put down our extremely heavy bags and turn around to face them.

"And you dare to act like you're innocent. We already knew that you guys are the culprits!"

Showing a high and mighty attitude as she walks past Minami is class C's representative, Koyama-san. All the girls behind her fold their arms, looking like they agree as they nod their heads.

"Culprits? What are you talking about?"

"This."

Koyama-san tosses something in front of us. What's that?

"..CCD camera and a mini-microphone."

Having a-->>

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