Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu?

Volume 3.5, Idiots, Tests and the Summoned Beasts ~Preparation ~(2/2)

ibly ring during lesson time, there shouldn't be any problems, right? Let's just follow what Yuuji told me to do.

I pull my handphone out from my pocket and took it out of silent mode.

"Oi, you people better hurry up and sit down. I'm going to start taking attendance."

Seeing our homeroom teacher Ironman walk into the classroom, I immediately slip the handphone back into my pocket.

"Alright, let's begin."

Thus, our battle for the confiscated items officially begins now.

"Shimada."

"Here."

"Shimizu."

"Here."

At the usual time of taking attendance, Ironman's coarse voice echoes clearly throughout the classroom.

"Yamaguchi."

"Here."

"Watanabe."

"Here."

—Beep beep beep.

Suddenly, a beep interrupted the class while attendance is taken. Whose phone is it? Really, do think that we have such a stupid person in class. The phone will definitely get confiscated when it rings in class.

"..Yoshii, hand over your phone."

"..Yes."

The problem is, this stupid person was me.

Damn it! Why must it ring at this moment!? Who called me!?

<<Missed call: Sakamoto Yuuji>>

"Yu, Yuuji, you betrayed me!"

"I'll consficate the handphone then."

"Ahh! Handphone! MY HANDPHONE!"

My handphone got taken away by Ironman mercilessly.

"Very good. Nobody's came late nor skipped classes. I hope that all students will continue to keep this up."

After taking the attendance, Ironman moves his heavy feet out of the classroom—together with my handphone.

"Very good. Part 1 of the plan is complete."

"Yuuji! What sort of grudge do you have against me! Now my handphone got confiscated by Ironman all because of you!"

"This is a bait meant to fish out where our targets are. We just need to take them back."

"Eh? Bait?"

"That's right. I deliberately allowed Ironman to confiscate your handphone in order to find out where Ironman hid those items."

"Why didn't you tell me in the first place.."

And if possible, I hope that you can use your handphone as bait.

"..I'm back."

"WAHH!"

Suddenly talking right behind me. You scared me~

"Oh, Muttsulini came back already. How was it?"

"..Those confiscated items are placed in the staff storage cupboard."

"As expected of Muttsulini, erasing your own presence to tail people, that truly is your specialty. I'm impressed."

Seems like Muttsulini went to tail Ironman and investigate where my handphone was hidden. If it's tailing others without attracting attention, Yuuji can't do it, and Hideyoshi doesn't have the skills.

"..But the cupboard's locked."

"Okay. So where's the key?"

"..In the rear left pocket of Ironman's pants."

"I see. If so, we have to snatch the key from him."

"Ya, but how are we going to do that?"

"No problems. I got a good idea. We'll take action during cleaning time."

Anyway, let's attend lessons and wait for school dismissal.

It's finally dismissal time.

"So, what plan do you have?"

As I tried to sneak out yesterday, I was punished to sweep the entire corridor alone. Thus, I'm discussing the plan with Yuuji and the rest while twisting the mop around. These damned guys don't have any intentions of helping out in the first place.

"We'll be using that."

Yuuji lifts his chin and points.

"A pail? What are we going to do with that?"

"We're going to use that to splash water on Ironman and make him take off his clothes."

I see. If so, we can then take his clothes away and take the key to the cupboard,

"Mm hm~ this method is simple and easy to succeed."

Hideyoshi's right. We can't possibly fail. Basically, there's only the last problem to this plan, and that is—whoever going to splash the water on Ironman will get pursued by him to the ends of the Earth.

"There's only one problem in this plan, and that's the one who's going to splash the water, 'Akihisa' will get pursued by him to the ends of the Earth."

Hold on! Is it decided that I'll be the one in charge of doing this?

"However, that's not really a huge problem."

THAT'S A HUGE PROBLEM TO ME!

"Oi, isn't that too strange? Let's settle this with rock paper scissors!"

"Ooh, look! Me and our target's already here."

"Very good. You got to do your best, Akihisa!"

"..Do your best."

"Eh? Hold on!"

The trio already wordlessly retreated back in the shortest time possible.

Ironman has already climbed up the stairs. If so, I can only do this!

My eyes have already captured the target, and the relative speed was estimated. The prepared weapon's in my hand, everything's okay—time to attack!

"WAAHH! I SLIPPED!"

Dragging the mop, I deliberately fell forward by letting my feet stagger and aim the pail at Ironman, who's on the stairs. GET WET!

"GUAH!"

How, how is it possible! As expected of Ironman! To be able to suddenly react in the blink of an eye and dodge the splash thanks to his superhuman senses! However—

"WHERE ARE YOU ESCAPING TO!?"

I drag the mop in my hand to where Ironman dodged to. I won't admit defeat so easily!

Phoosh, Clak cak cak.

The water from the pail drenched Ironman, and the pail rolled aside. Mission accomplished.

I pick up the pail and mop that I threw out as I remain mindful not to step on the puddle of water, saying to a stunned Ironman "Sorry, I slipped—AHH, sensei! An encyclopaedia isn't to be used as a weapon!"

"I thought I just heard you say 'Where are you escaping to', didn't I?"

"That's just a hallucination."

"Stop trying to lie to me with such a serious look on your face. Get ready to die!"

"Sen, sensei, please don't use the edge of the encyclopaedia!"

Where are you guys now! Come save me! I'll definitely be beaten down by Ironman into a panda if this keeps up!

"Ahh, Akihisa, you really ended up doing it."

Yuuji and the rest appeared out of nowhere. Anyway, I'm saved~

"I told you so many times 'not to splash water onto sensei'.."

"Ow, OWW! SENSEI! I SAID THAT I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE ALREADY!"

They, they didn't help out at all! These damned guys! Are they intending to sit around and watch?

"Sensei, punish Akihisa later. I guess you better change your clothes. If you don't mind, I'll lend my P.E. attire to you."

"That's right. Sorry, then lend me that. Yoshii, stay behind and scrub the floor clean!"

Leaving these words behind, Ironman, who was drenched by me, head off to the classroom with Yuuji and the rest to change clothes.

"..So unfortunate."

Anyway, I remained behind to clean the floor up. Besides, I have the cleaning tools in my hand.

Just as I'm working hard to wipe the water off the floor, Hideyoshi walks out of the classroom and moves towards me.

"I got the key, Akihisa."

"Really? Then we just need to enter the staffroom and get back the confiscated items."

"Umm, let's hurry up before Ironman realizes it."

"Got it!"

After letting the mop lean against the wall, Hideyoshi and I quickly head towards the staffroom.

"I'm going in then."

I took the cupboard key from Hideyoshi's hands and reach my hand out for the door.

"There's no problem, right?"

"No need to worry. I'll try my best to walk into the staffroom without raising too much attention and get those things back."

I should be just an ordinary student to every teacher, except for Ironman. I should be more suited for this role as compared to Hideyoshi, who has the look of a beauty.

"Really? Then I'll just wait here for your good news."

"Mm, I'm going in then~ 'cuse me~"

I open the staffroom door slightly. No problem, I'm not some irritating guy.

"Yoshii? Hurry up and get over here!"

"Why!? Why am I noticed so soon after entering the room!?"

I got caught by the Ancient Literature teacher immediately after entering the room. Why?

"I want to hear what excuse you have regarding the essay 'translate the Tsurezuregusa into Modern Language'!"

"Ah, I did hand in my homework properly."

"I'm asking why did you turn the Tsurezuregusa into a rap!?"

"Eh? But sensei wanted it to be translated into the modern language, and speaking of modern Japanese, isn't it—"

"Ah, Yoshii-kun, remember to come over here after you're done there."

"Yoshii, that Chemistry report you handed in was too ridiculous! Come over and explain it to me later."

Unknowingly, I got surrounded by several teachers. Well, if this is the case, forget about completing the plan, I'll be hounded by these teachers till night! Got to find a way to get away from them!

"Excuse me.."

Just as I'm pondering on what to do, someone else entered the staffroom. Hm? Isn't that Hideyoshi?

"Ooh, isn't that Kinosheeta? What's wrong?"

"I, I suddenly..don't feel too good..but the health teacher isn't..in.."

Hideyoshi cupped his mouth. He really doesn't look too good. Is he sick?

"Hideyoshi, are you—"

I frantically rushed towards him. At this moment, he suddenly blinked at me. I see, so he's acting! As expected of someone from the drama club, I nearly got fooled.

"Sorry, but can I rest here—"

Before finishing, Hideyoshi collapsed onto the floor.

"Ki, Kinosheeta! Are you alright?"

"Anyway, let's take him to the sickbay!"

"You, you're right! Sensei, please carry his legs!"

A few teachers start to create quite the ruckus. After that, everyone in the staffroom left to accompany Hideyoshi to the sick bay. Brilliantly done, Hideyoshi!

"Let's use this opportunity to get back those confiscated items. Let me see, Ironman..no wait, it's Nishimura. Nishimura's.."

I checked the nametag on the cupboards which are according to order. Oh, found it. It's this one.

"..Speaking of which, I somehow imagined that bugs will crawl out of Ironman's cupboard."

Though I'm a bit fearful, I have no time to hesitate. I pull out the key Hideyoshi handed to me and pull the door handle down, opening the metal cupboard effortlessly.

"Oh, it's unexpectedly clean.."

The cupboard's arranged rather neatly, and the bag of confiscated goods are placed in an obvious place.

"Let's get out of here before someone notices—hm?"

Just as I was about to lock the cupboard up and run away, I noticed a pile of old books tied up in raffia strings. Should be meant for throwing away.

"Uu~hm..since he's going to throw it, I might as well take it. Maybe I can get some money as well."

After grabbing the books with both hands, I immediately dashed out of the staffroom.

"Okay! At least we achieved our goal!"

After what happened just now, I brought the spoils—the bag of confiscated items back to Yuuji, only taking away my own stuff and the pile of old books. I then took them over to a second-hand shop to exchange these spoils for cash.

My handheld games and gaming software garnered a price lower than what I expected, while that pile of books got quite the price; what a nice mistake in estimation. I really got to thank Ironman for this.

"Let me see, is that girl here~"

"Ah! Onii-chan! You're here!"

Hazuki-chan immediately came running over to me the moment I approached the park. She really looked like a cute puppy, and that even warms my heart. Maybe it's because I'm often surrounded by idiots, Ironman and a violent girl..

"Mm, because we arranged to meet each other. Oh yeah, where did you get that doll from?"

Looking closely, Hazuki-chan's hugging something similar to the Noi doll that she wanted to buy (is that what it's called?). It looks as if it was sewn by hand.

"There was a pretty onee-chan who came over and said to me 'If that onii-chan couldn't succeed, then give this to your sister!' and handed it over to me!"

"?"

"And she also said 'If that onii-chan managed to buy the doll, I'll give this doll to you.'"

The kid's lack of order in her speech confused me.

Erm, let me straighten Hazuki-chan's words out—

—A pretty onee-chan came to Hazuki-chan today.

—And then, she handed this handmade doll over to Hazuki-chan

—This pretty onee-chan even said that if I couldn't do it, she'll give this doll to Hazuki-chan's sister as a gift.

—But if I succeeded, this doll will go to Hazuki-chan.

—So that's how it is.

"Mmm, is that so? Then this doll will go to Hazuki-chan."

"Eh? Really?"

"Yeah. And this doll will go to Hazuki-chan's sister."

I hand over the large doll in my hand over to Hazuki-chan. It should be tough for her petite body to carry such a large doll, but she still received it delightedly.

"This is great! Thank you, onii-chan!"

"No problems. It'll be great if your sister can cheer up."

I patted her head. Hazuki-chan seems to enjoy it as she slowly closes her eyes.

"Uu~ Ah, that's right! Onii-chan, can you lend me your ear?"

"Eh? What is it? Are you going to say a secret to me or something?"

"Don't ask, just lend me your ear."

Is she about to thank me? I'm really touched. One can't become a proper adult if the person can't even say 'thank you' or 'sorry'.

"Okay, what is it?"

I bent over to match her height, but unexpectedly—

"Thank you, onii-chan?"

Whoosh! A cute sensation passes my face. Eh? This..don't tell me this is..

"Wha, wha, wha.."

"Onii-chan may be an idiot, but he's so gentle! Hazuki-chan loves you! When I grow up, I'll let you become my husband!"

Without waiting for me to reply, Hazuki-chan skips out of the park.

Re, recently, these elementary school students are..

I touched my face with my hand, seemingly wanting to wipe away the soft sensation that's left on the face. Even without looking at the mirror, I know my face is red. How, how embarrassing..she's just an elementary school kid..

"Hoo..time for me to go back as well.."

After lifting my bag up and slinging it over my back, I head off towards the exit of the park. While exiting, I see a familiar figure yesterday. That person is—

"Excuse me..are you Himeji-san?"

"Ah, yes, what is it—YO, YOSHII-KUN!"

So it's Himeji-san. It sure is hard to find another girl as pretty. I can't possibly be mistaken.

"Sorry, I seemed to have scared you."

"No, no worries. I was just dazed.."

Our conversation got interrupted just like that. This, this is really awkward..what should I say to a friend who I haven't met for a long time?

"Erm, that..it's really a coincidence that we met here. Did you just finish class? But you look rather tired here, are you?"

"Yes, because I stayed up all night.."

"Hei~so Himeji-san would also stay up."

The impression she gives is that she lives her life normally, but it's unexpected that she would stay up.

"That's not it, I just stayed up last night, because I have something I need to do no matter what.."

She inadvertently yawned as she continued to talk. Himeji-san sure is cute when she lets out some tears due to sleepiness.

"Then, I'll be going off in this direction, goodbye."

"Ah, mm, byebye."

I waved my hand to Himeji-san, who bowed to me courteously.

While walking home, I just realized—oh ya, why did Himeji-san appear in such a place?

"..There was a case of theft in the staffroom."

The next morning, during self-study period, Ironman suddenly mentioned this. He's definitely referring to the bag of confiscated items that we got yesterday.

"Such a tragedy worth being angry over, don't you think so, Yoshii?"

He actually threw this question at me. As expected of Ironman, he must have realized that I was the perpetrator, but who will follow you obediently?

"Yeah, sure is worth sighing over."

I naturally replied with these few words. No problems, I got everything under control.

"Really? Speaking of which, that culprit even took sensei's books."

Hm? Books? Is he referring to that bundle of books? Wasn't he going to throw them away?

"And that culprit actually had the guts to use his own identity to sell my books to a second-hand shop."

"Is that so, he sure has guts."

"Yeah, hahahaha!"

"Ahhahaha.."

Ironman and I started laughing with all enthusiasm. Really, we're laughing with all sorts of happiness—at least it looked that way if not for those eyes.

"YOSHII! GET READY TO DIE!!!"

"So, sorry! Who knew that it was sensei's collection, I didn't—"

"Are you saying that you didn't even think of it?"

"No, I did think about it, but then I thought 'since its Ironman's, it doesn't matter~'! OW! OUCH! SENSEI! MY SKULLCAP GOT SMASHED IN BY YOU!"

"So you idiot has the highest suspicion. Looks like I have to be even more careful and watch you."

"Sensei! I'm feeling that I've been watched by you all this time, there's no way for you to watch me further!"

"No, there still is, right? I got a really precious title of honor that's suitable for you—"

"Eh, this is.."

"Everyone at the staff meeting this morning have all agreed, so accept this. This is a present that sensei's handing you."

From who knows when, Ironman suddenly has a piece of paper in his hand. This plain white paper has only a single line on it.

—Yoshii Akihisa.

The above mentioned has been designated as the 'Punishment Inspector' of Fumitzuki Gakuen.

"Onee-chan!"

Hm? Hazuki, what's up?"

"Well, this is for onee-chan!"

"Eh? Isn't this the Noi doll that I always wanted? How did you.."

"Because onee-chan looked so lethargic. Hazuki prepared it for onee-chan to cheer onee-chan up!"

"Hazuki..really, you..thank you, onee-chan's really happy!"

"Schoolwork may be tough, but you must work hard, Minami nee-chan!"

"Hm, I'll do my best! I'll feel like I lost if I continue to mess around like this. And also.."

"And also what?"

"I'm mindful of someone in school."

"Eh? Onee-chan's mindful of someone? Who is it? How is that person like?"

"Well~as repayment of the Noi doll, I'll only say this to Hazuki. That person is in the same class as me, and he's one huge idiot~"