Chapter 11 – Those Who Hunt the Lazy People

It was on a certain peaceful day.

I was staying in a perfectly ordinary town, sitting at a table outside a cafe that faced the main street with an abundance of free time.

“..Fuu.”

I took a sip of my cafe au lait, and sighed as I put down my cup.

I’m not dressed as a witch today. I’m taking a break from traveling, and taking a break from being a witch as well. I’m wearing a navy blue sweater and a white flared skirt, and in this relatively plain outfit, I mingled with the people in the streets.

“....”

I opened my newspaper.

It looks like this country is extremely peaceful.

『An old man lost his dentures.』 『Beware of the pervert who wears women’s underwear on his head.』 『An escalation in the number of young people taking a break from work.』 『How do you cure people of laziness!?』

Such mundane things were being written in the newspapers, after all. They have no wars to win, and no issues to speak about either.

So basically, it’s a very peaceful and boring place. You could say it’s an ideal place for taking a break.

I stretched out my hand towards my cup once again.

“..Huh?”

However, in the next instant, both the cup and the table had vanished from my field of vision.

More like, they were blown away.

They were cleanly wiped away by something that came flying out of the shop with a loud sound.

“....Eeeh.”

Looking in the direction that my cafe au lait had disappeared in, I saw a young man covered in blood lying on the debris of broken tables and chairs, and saw that the contents of my cup had splashed all over him.

Oh, my cafe au lait. You have died a pitiful death.

“Skipping work to play around with women, you’ve got some nerve! Don’t look down on work!”

A boorish man came out of the shop while saying that, grabbed the young man by the nape of his neck, and proceeded to pick him up and shake him.

The young man began to speak while his blood continued to flow.

“P-Please! Please forgive me! It was a date with my girlfriend, celebrating our one month anniversary!”

“No way. I’m not letting you off the hook. All people who skip work will be judged by us regardless of their circumstances, that is the law of this country.”

Saying that, the man began walking.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiii! P-Please stop....!”

He dragged the wailing youth outside the cafe, towards the main street.

“......”

Oh, what’s this? I haven’t received an apology for the honorable death of my cafe au lait yet.

I had no intention of doing anything traveler-like or witch-like today, but I couldn’t just stand around and watch as a man ruined something that I had purchased and then proceeded to depart without so much as a by your leave.

I folded my newspaper and stood up.

I looked around for a stone, picked it up, and,

“Ei.”

I hurled it at him.

The palm-sized stone went flying straight towards the back of the boorish man’s head.

And connected with the target beautifully.

“Ouch!!”

The man stumbled exaggeratedly and then spun around with a demonic look on his face.

“Oi, which bastard threw a stone at meeee!?”

Who, indeed?

“It was me. What about it?”

Once he heard that, the boorish man started to walk back towards me while still dragging the youth.

“Oh? You’ve got some guts, picking a fight with me—hmm?”

All of a sudden, he lost his bluster and came to a halt.

“....?”

I felt confused at the man’s inexplicable behaviour.

The man continued to just stand there and look at me for a while. He seemed to regain his senses after the wind blew and someone could be heard screaming at the disastrous scene that had occurred at the cafe.

“...Ha. That’s no good, I blacked out for a bit there.”

Maybe he got hit in a bad place, he looked pretty agitated.

“Hey, don’t get cocky just because you’re a little cute. Don’t you know who I am?”

“No, I don’t. Who are you?”

“......”

“Who are you?”

I asked him once more.

The boorish man purposefully cleared his throat, and,

“I am Rogred, from the Sabotage Investigation Bureau. Interfering with my work carries a heavy price.”

“I see. Thank you for the polite introduction.. By the way, do you know how heavy the price is for wasting my cafe au lait?”

“Cafe au lait?”

“That’s right.”

By the way, what exactly is the Sabotage Investigation Bureau? I’m curious.

“My cafe au lait ended up being drunk by that young man’s clothes as a result of your rampage. Please take responsibility.”

“......”

That person called Rogred looked between me and the young man several times before saying,

“That’s not my problem. Just recover the costs from this guy.”

Saying that, he spat upon the ground. Disgusting.

“No, things wouldn’t have come to such a state if you hadn’t gone on a rampage.”

“It’s his fault for making me go on a rampage—”

“No, it’s your fault for going overboard.”

“......”

“That being the case, please properly take responsibility.”

After I glared at him, the man gave a small laugh and said,

“..Fine. I’ll pay. It’s been three years since I started working at the Sabotage Investigation Bureau, so I make a decent amount of money. I have more than enough money to buy that for you.”

I didn’t understand why he started talking about himself all of a sudden, but unfortunately, his proposal was a little different from what I wanted. I shook my head and said,

“No, I don’t want you to reimburse me.”

I rejected his proposal.

And then, I made a proposal of my own.

“Would you mind telling me more about this Sabotage Investigation Bureau? If you will, we can consider this matter as settled.”

“..?”

His expression told me that he was wondering what kind of nonsense I was talking about.

“Is that okay with you?”

I said those words as if delivering the final blow, and the man hesitantly nodded.

It looks like the negotiations have concluded successfully.

By the time I realised it, my tedious, yet wonderfully peaceful holiday had gone missing.

○

After returning the exterior of the shop to its original appearance and ordering a new cafe au lait, I sat down at a table outside the shop.

Sitting across from me was Rogred-san from the Sabotage Investigation Bureau. As for the young man who was dragged around earlier, Rogred-san apparently gave him over to the custody of another investigator.

Seriously, just how big is this Sabotage Investigation Bureau?

“I see. You’re a traveler. In that case, I can understand why you don’t know anything about my job—by the way, would you mind telling me your name?”

“It’s Elaina.”

“Elaina, huh? That’s a nice name—Do you have some free time now, Elaina?”

No honorifics right off the bat, huh?

“Yes, I’m free.”

“How about tomorrow?”

“I’ll probably be free tomorrow as well.”

“I see. In that case.. You want to know more about my job, right? Would you like to tag along and see my workplace?”

“Sure, that’s fine with me.”

Although I think I would be satisfied with a simple description.

“Come now, don’t be like that. If you want to know more about our work, tagging along with me would be the easiest way to understand. It’s pretty complicated work, after all..”

“......”

While his words sounded vaguely hypocritical, I agreed that it would probably more efficient that way. It also sounds a little interesting.

..Fumu.

“Sure, I don’t mind.. But before that, please tell me what kind of work you do in detail.”

“Hell yeah! Of course!”

After raising his fist towards the sky, he went over the details of the Sabotage Investigation Bureau in great detail.

The Sabotage Investigation Bureau is..

As the name suggests, it’s an organization that investigates acts of sabotage, and is unique to this country. They monitor the attendance of people working in offices and stores, looking for people who seem suspicious and bringing them to light. Such unfortunate people will apparently receive a heavy punishment from their workplace.

By doing this, they can put a stop to acts of sabotage by young people, or so the adults reasoned. There was even an article in the newspaper about 『Young people taking a break from work』which complained about people skipping work. Are the people in this country really that unprofessional? Is this because they are accustomed to peace?

“—So basically, our activities keep the people from slacking off.”

“I see. So you’re basically an agent of the country, sent to correct the people’s attitude towards work?”

“Putting it simply, that’s about it.”

“Fumu fumu.”

“Incidentally, we’re backed by the country so we don’t get in trouble no matter how much we go on a rampage. I’ve never lost a fight in my life, so this job is perfect for me. No matter what I do, it’s justified.”

Again, why is he talking about himself? While I was growing fed up with him, Rogred-san finished his cafe au lait, and,

“Well then—we should be on our way.”

“Where are we going?”

After giving me a smile and trying to look cool, he replied,

“A place where you can watch me work, of course.”

I felt that reacting would be too troublesome, so I just took a sip of my warm cafe au lait.

○

Starting that afternoon, I stayed close to him as he went about his work.

The first place he took me to was a certain furniture store. The interior of the store was filled with the scent of wood, and the middle-aged man there spoke to us while he was assembling a bookshelf.

“That’s right. It’s very troublesome, Investigator-san. This week, his little sister apparently passed away.”

Apparently, a young man who had been an apprentice at the furniture store under the middle-aged man for three months had stopped coming in to work.

“‘This week?’ Has something similar happened before?”

I was not an investigator, but I joined their conversation because I felt curious.

The middle-aged man nodded.

“Yeah. Last week, it was his father who passed away.”

“Oh?”

“Incidentally, his mother passed away the week before that.”

“......”

“And the week before that, it was his uncle.”

“......”

“And the week before that—”

“Ah, that’s enough.”

I stopped him because I didn’t know how far back this went.

In any case, I understood that if this wasn’t a suspicious situation, then nothing was. After that, Rogred-san asked the store manager for some details, and we left the store.

“Still, this has turned into an interesting situation. Do you think that apprentice is under a curse that causes one member of his family to die each week?”

“That’s why he came to our attention. Still, we have to determine if this actually true—although I’m fairly certain that he’s just ditching work.”

“Agreed.”

After that, we headed towards the young man’s house, and discovered a young man in that neighborhood who was idly watching birds. Rogred-san apprehended him immediately.

By the way, we did some interrogation and found that not a single person from his family had died. His parents and grandparents are still very much alive. Incidentally, he was an only child. So apparently, his little sister never existed in the first place. Is he really willing to go to such lengths to avoid work?

An escalation in the number of young people taking a break from work, indeed.

I continued to watch Rogred-san at his work for a few days after that. The excuses made by young people to avoid their work were fairly horrible. I couldn’t even bear to look at them any more. Just what is driving them to go so far?

The first person we visited was a man who worked at a library. He had disappeared a week ago with no contact afterward, so we had to pay him a visit.

“A week ago, you say? Ah, I took the day off because it was raining. And I continued to take time off from work after that for one reason or another.”

The man responded to our call and said that with a straight face.

While obviously irritated by the man’s attitude, Rogred-san attempted to bring the matter to a close.

“So you’re going back to work starting today, right?”

“Of course.. Ah, I’m sorry. The wind is blowing strongly today so I’ll be taking the day off.”

“Oi.”

Obviously, he was arrested.

The next person we encountered was a young woman who worked at an inn. Her workplace was not able to get in touch with her since three days ago.

“That’s wrong. I haven’t been ditching work for the past three days. It’s just that I’ve been helping people out for the past three days, so I couldn’t go to work even though I wanted to.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re not at work today.”

“Ah, I plan to help people out today as well.”

“......”

Shouldn’t she be helping the people at her workplace instead?

The third person was a man who worked at the grocery store. He had been taking many days off work for the past few months, but this time he finally earned the achievement of being absent for a whole week in a row.

His excuse was as follows.

“I didn’t feel like working, so I took some time off.”

“......” “......”

In that case, why not just quit?

In any case, the people of the Sabotage Investigation Bureau apparently handled cases like this.

Watching Rogred-san at his work was a difficult experience, but when he said that we would be going to check up on a teacher who had started ditching work recently, I stopped going along.

I thought that I had had enough. At this rate, I felt like I would end up stuck doing this forever.

To be honest, I was just tired of being led around so much during my holiday time.

○

A few days later.

I was sitting at a table outside the cafe that faced the main street, pointlessly passing the time by reading the book of which I had purchased three copies in a certain country, while blowing on and drinking my steaming cafe au lait.

However, my peaceful alone time was not fated to last long.

“Yo. So this is where you were.”

Saying that, Rogred-san pulled up the chair opposite mine and sat down without permission.

“Hello.”

He would occasionally come to invite me to watch his work even after I told him that I was going to stop. It’s a little annoying.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come along today?”

“Yes. I don’t really care anymore.”

“Hmm.”

He grunted and furrowed his eyebrows as if he disapproved.

“..In that case, Elaina, do you have some free time right now?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I see, you have free time.”

“Yes.”

“You’re free right now, huh?”

“That’s what I just said.”

I’m reading a book right now because I have some free time. I’m reading a book, so I’d rather not get caught up in some other work.

If he asked me out on a date or something, I was ready to curtly refuse him, but,

“In that case, do you want to go somewhere with me and have fun—”

However, his words were cut off before he finished his sentence. They were cleanly wiped away along with a loud sound.

I looked up from my book in surprise, but he had disappeared. Actually, the table had disappeared from my field of vision as well, along with everything on it.

More like, they were blown away.

After glancing to the side, I saw Rogred-san covered in blood lying on the debris of broken tables and chairs, and saw that the contents of my cup had splashed all over him.

Oh, my cafe au lait. You have died a pitiful death once again.

“You bastard! Skipping work to play around with women while being an officer of the Sabotage Investigation Bureau, you’ve got some nerve! You said that you were taking the day off because you had a high fever!”

While I was lamenting my loss, someone was jeering at Rogred-san.

“N-No! I was going to go to the hospital right away. I wasn’t ditching work!”

Oh? I feel like I’ve seen this exchange somewhere before.

“Don’t lie to me, brat! What kind of man would take his girlfriend to the hospital on a date after having a nice lunch at a cafe!?”

“Ah, I’m not his girlfriend.”

He must have misunderstood.

“..Having lunch at a cafe with a friend who is not your girlfriend—”

“We’re not friends either.”

“......”

“We’re just acquaintances.”

“What kind of man would go to the hospital after having lunch with a mere acquaintance?”

Saying that, the large man grabbed Rogred-san by the collar and said,

“Anyways, I’m taking you in. Understood?”

Saying that, he started walking away while dragging him along.

“D-Damn it..! Let me go! Let me gooooo!!”

He dragged Rogred-san from outside the cafe, towards the main street.

“......”

Oh, what’s this? Once again, I haven’t received an apology for the honorable death of my cafe au lait.

I closed my book after marking my page with a bookmark, and stood up.

I looked around for a stone, picked it up, and,

“Ei.”

I hurled it at him.

The palm-sized stone went flying straight towards the back of the large man’s head.

And connected with the target beautifully.

“Ouch!!”

The man stumbled exaggeratedly and then spun around with a demonic look on his face.

“Oi, which bastard threw a stone at meeee!?”

Of course, the answer was,

“It was me. What about it?”

Once he heard that, the large man started to walk back towards me while still dragging Rogred-san.

“Oh? You’ve got some guts, picking a fight with me—hmm?”

All of a sudden, he lost his bluster and came to a halt.

“....?”

I felt confused at the man’s inexplicable behaviour.

The man continued to just stand there and look at me for a while. He seemed to regain his senses after the wind blew and someone could be heard screaming “Not again!” at the disastrous scene that had occurred at the cafe.

In a way quite different from the time with Rogred-san.

Actually, maybe it wasn’t that different after all.

“So—so beautiful..!”

○

The Sabotage Investigation Bureau was a state-funded organization meant to keep young people from ditching work, but by the time I left that country, that organization had to temporarily cease their activities.

What on earth happened there? I heard that a number of investigators (mainly men) started to ditch their own work one after the other, and they had to be taken into custody.

This situation of going out for wool and coming home shorn incited the populace of that country which previously had no wars to win and no issues to talk about, and I heard that the entire Sabotage Investigation Bureau received a lot of criticism.

Incidentally, the male investigators who received severe punishment for forgetting their station all said the same thing.

“I was tricked by a beautiful woman. I regret nothing.”

Apparently, they said something meaningless like that in their testimonies.

Ah, beauty is truly a sin.

Anyways, I hope they find a better way of dealing with people who ditch work. I can only hope that the adults can properly talk to each other and make calm decisions until the Investigation Bureau starts working again.

If not, they might be led astray by some witch with bad intentions next time.