CH 2(2/2)
“Ann, please, go outside for a bit.” Tears spilled from the eyes of her whispering mother. The large droplets shook loose and eventually cascaded down her cheeks. Ann was shocked that her mother, who always smiled despite the pain she had to endure from her illness, was actually letting her tears be seen.
——Mom cried.
Since her mother was not the type to cry, Ann had believed adults to be creatures that never cried. After realizing that was not the case, the fact that she had done something terrible rang within her mind.
——I’ve hurt Mom.
Even though she knew that she, more than anyone, was not supposed to place herself before her mother. Even though she was convinced that the task of protecting her mother the most was up to her, she had made her cry.
“M-Mo..” She tried to apologize, but was driven away by Violet, who proceeded to drag her out of the room as if dealing with a dog cub. “Stop! Let go! Let go!” Ann said, unable to put up resistance, left alone in the corridor. Her mother’s sobs could be heard from the other side of the closed door. “M.. Mom..” She clung to it, distraught. “Mom, hey..”
——Sorry. Sorry for making you cry. That wasn’t my intention.
“Mom! Mom!”
——I just wanted you to take care of your own body. So that.. So that.. I could be with you even for a second longer, if possible.
“Mom..”
——It was just that.
“Mom, hey!”
——Is this.. my fault?
Due to the frustration of not receiving any response, her loneliness reverberated. She tried banging her fists against the door violently. Yet, even without hurting, her hands became weak and numbly fell down.
——Was I being selfish?
A mother that was at death’s doorstep. A daughter that would be left alone.
——Was being together with her.. something so bad to wish for?
A mother that kept writing letters because she might not be able to do so in the future. A daughter that hated it.
The tears that had dried out were on the verge of overflowing again. Ann inhaled deeply and shouted in one breath, “Was someone else more important to Mom than me?!” As her shouts came out, she started bawling. Her voice was muffled, her timbre cracking. “Mom, don’t be writing letters and spend time with me!” The child begged.
To wail when their requests could not be fulfilled was simply what children did.
“Without Mom, I’ll be alone! All on my own! How long will this last? I want to be with Mom for as long as I can. If I’ll be by myself after this, stop writing these letters.. For now, be with me! With me!”
That was it; Ann was just a child.
“Be with me..”
Still too young to be able to do anything, a mere child that had barely lived for seven years and adored her mother.
“I want to.. be with you..”
Someone who, in fact, had always,?always?wept over the fate granted to her by God.
“Young Mistress.”
Violet came out of the room. She stared down at Ann, whose face was wet with tears. Just as the girl had thought that was a clearly cold treatment, a hand made its way to her shoulder. The warmth of such act abated her hostility.
“There’s a reason for me to be taking your time with your mother. Please don’t be angry at her.”
“But.. But.. But..!”
Violet crouched down to meet the small Ann’s line of sight. “It’s evident that Young Mistress is strong. Even with such a small body, you take care of your sick mother. Children usually would not complain or care for someone that much. You’re a highly respectable person, Young Mistress Ann.”
“That’s not it. That’s not it at all.. I just.. wanted to be with Mom for a little more..”
“Madam feels the same way.”
Violet’s words sounded like nothing but pity. “Lies, lies, lies, lies.. because.. she’s concerned about that letter for someone I don’t know rather than about me. Even though there’s no one else in this house that really worries for Mom!”
——Everyone,?everyone?is all about money.
“I’m the only one.. I’m the only one who cares about Mom!”
The way her dark brown eyes saw it, adults and everything related to them were enveloped in untruths. Her shoulders shivered as her tears trickled to the floor. Distorted by said tears, her vision was as blurry as the world felt to her. Just how many things in that world could actually be considered real?
“Even so..”
The young girl believed that, regardless of how long she would live afterwards, if the world was filled with so much hypocrisy and treachery from the very start of one’s life, the future did not have to come.
“Even so..”
The things Ann deemed as true could be counted with one hand. They shone unrelenting within such a false world. With them, she could tolerate any sort of dread.
“This is how it is.. but even so..”
——Even though I wouldn’t need anything else if Mom was with me..
“Even so, Mom doesn’t love me the most!”
As Ann yelled, Violet placed an index finger against her lips at a speed that could not be perceived by human eyes. Ann’s body quivered for a moment. Her voice was perfectly ceased. In the quiet corridor, her mother’s sobs could still be heard from behind the door.
“If it’s about me, you can get angry as much as it will satisfy you. Hit me, kick me; I won’t mind whatever you feel like doing. However.. please refrain from using words that would sadden your beloved, honorable mother, for your own sake as well.”
As Ann was told so with a severe face, tears started to rapidly form in her eyes again. The cries that she had suppressed and swallowed back in were fresh and painful. “Am I in the wrong?”
“No, there’s not a single thing you’re at fault for.”
“Because I’m a bad child, Mom became sick, and.. will soon..”
——..die?
To Ann’s question, Violet answered in a whisper with a tone that was still a little dispassionate, but not thrown-off, “No.”
The tears traveled down from Ann’s stroppy eyes.
“No, Young Mistress is a very kind person. Sicknesses have nothing to do with this. This is.. something that no one can predict or do anything about. Just as I can no longer have a skin as soft as yours in place of my robotic arms, it’s something that can’t be helped.”
“Then, is it God’s fault?”
“Even if it were, even if it were not.. we can only concentrate in how we should live the lives that have been granted to us.”
“What.. should I do?”
“For now, Young Mistress.. you’re free to cry.” Violet opened her arms, her machine parts letting out a faint noise. “If you will not hit me, is it okay if I lend you my body instead?”
That could be interpreted as “you can jump on and hug me”, even though she did not seem like the type to say such things. Ann could cry securely, so to speak. Without hesitation, she embraced Violet. Was she wearing any perfume? She smelled of many different flowers.
“Violet, don’t take Mom away from me.” She said as she tightly pressed her face against Violet’s chest, soaking it with tears. “Don’t rob me of my time with Mom, Violet.”
“Please forgive it only for a few more days.”
“Then, at least tell Mom that it’s alright if I stay by her side while you’re writing. It’s fine if you two ignore me; I just want to be close to her. I want to be by her side and squeeze her hand tight.”
“I’m sorry, but my client is Madam, not Young Mistress Ann. There’s nothing I can do to change this.”
——I really can’t stand adults after all,?Ann thought.
“I hate you.. Violet.”
“I’m sorry, Young Mistress.”
“Why do you write letters?”
“Because people have feelings that they wish to deliver to others.”
Ann knew she was not the center of the world. However, the fact things never went as she desired caused more tears to pour down out of frustration. “Things like that don’t need to be delivered..”
Violet merely continued to hug the frowning Ann, who bit her lip out of displeasure. “There’s no such thing as a letter that needn’t be delivered, Young Mistress.”
It seemed her words were directed at herself rather than the girl. Ann pondered on why. Because of that, the phrase was somehow engraved strikingly in her mind.
The time Ann Magnolia spent together with Violet Evergarden was only a week. Her mother managed to finish writing the letters one way or another, and Violet reticently left the mansion once the contract period was over.
“You’re going somewhere dangerous, right?”
“Yes, since someone is waiting for me there.”
“Aren’t you scared?”
“I rush anywhere to provide any service a client might need. This is what the Auto-Memories Doll, Violet Evergarden, is about.”
“Can I call you if I meet someone I’d like to write letters to someday?” was what Ann could not bring herself to ask.
What if the woman died in the place her next client was at? Even if she did not, what if Ann ended up never finding someone she would want to write to? Taking that into consideration, she could not ask such a question.
While being seen off, Violet shook her hand briefly. It was several months after she had left that the mother’s illness reached its worst. She soon passed away. The ones who took care of her in her last moments were Ann and a maid.
Until she closed her eyes, Ann kept whispering, “I love you, Mom.”
The mother simply nodded slowly, “Yes, yes.”
In a silent, calm spring day, her dear mother died. From that point on, Ann was always extremely busy. In regards of her heirloom, after a discussion with lawyers, it had been decided to freeze the family’s multiple bank accounts until she was of age. She also hired a private tutor to live in the mansion and studied hard. As she wished to deeply mark the land with her mother’s memory, Ann worked to become a qualified bachelor with the same level of education as her.
She never again saw her father. He had attended the funeral, but they had merely exchanged two or three words. After her mother passed on, he completely stopped coming home. His mindlessness towards money was soon over as well. Ann did ask directly the reason behind his change of mindset, but believed it to have been a good one.
Ann opened a law counseling office at home after graduating. She did not earn much, but she no longer had maids, so it was about enough for her to sustain herself. She was also in the middle of a small love affair with a young entrepreneur who often came for counseling.
As she did not succumb to sorrow even after having lost her mother at seven years of age, people would ask, “How come you don’t break down?”
And Ann would answer, “Because my mother is always looking after me.”
Her mother was, of course, dead. Her bones resided in a family grave where their relatives had been buried for generations.
Yet Ann would say, “My mother has been rectifying and guiding me all this time. Even now.”
There was a reason why she would affirm that while smiling. It was connected all the way to the time she had spent with Violet Evergarden.
Ann’s eighth birthday was her first without her mother. A package arrived for her on said day. It contained a big stuffed bear with a red ribbon. The name of the sender was of her late mother, and the present was accompanied by a letter.
Happy 8th?birthday, Ann. Many sad things might have happened. There might be several others to work hard on. But do not give in. Although you might be lonely and crying desolately, do not forget: Mom will always love Ann.
It was unmistakably a letter written by her mother. At that instant, the image of Violet Evergarden resurfaced in the back of her mind. Was that kind of service also included in her letter-writing job?
In the old times, although her mother had said she was going to write letters, everything had been written by Violet Evergarden. Could it be that that Auto-Memories Doll had written all of it imitating her mother’s handwriting?
When Ann questioned the postal agency about the surprising delivery, she was informed that they had signed a long-term contract with her mother and were supposed to deliver her gifts on her birthday every year. And it had indeed been Violet Evergarden who wrote the letter. All the others had been carefully stored.
Ann had not been told for how long those letters would keep coming as part of contractual secrecy, but they had arrived every single following year. Even as she turned 14.
You’ve already become a wonderful lady by now. I wonder if you have found a boy you like. Your way of speaking and attitude are a little boyish, so be careful. I can’t give advices regarding romance, but I’ll protect you so that you don’t get involved with a bad boy. This is about Ann, who has always been firmer than me, after all. Even if I don’t do that, surely, if you’re the one choosing, it will be a really great person. Do not be afraid of love.
Even as she turned 16.
Have you ridden in a car by now? Would you be surprised if Mom told you that I actually can ride in cars too? I used to drive a lot in the past. But I would be stopped by the people riding with me. They would go blue.
My gift for your birthday is a car with a color that suits you. Just use the enclosed key. But I wonder if it is now considered a classic model. Don’t say it’s lame, okay? Mom is looking forward to you becoming able to see various different worlds.
Even as she turned 18.
I wonder if you’re married by now. What do I do? To become a wife at a young age is troublesome in many ways. But your child will definitely be cute, no matter if it’s a boy or a girl. Mom guarantees that.
I don’t mean to precipitously say that parenting is rough, but.. the things you did that made me happy, the things you did that made me sad.. I want you to raise your child with those in mind. It’s alright. No matter how insecure you become, I am here. I’ll be by your side. Even as you become a mother, you’re still my daughter, so it’s okay to let out a screech sometimes. I love you.
Even as she turned 20.
You’ve already lived 20 years now. Amazing! To think the little baby that was born from me would become so big! Life is truly whimsical. I’m sad that I couldn’t see you grow into a pretty young woman. No, but I shall be watching over you from heaven.
Today, tomorrow, the day after; you’ll always remain a beauty, my Ann. Even if disagreeable people discourage you, I can say this with a puffed-out chest: you’re gorgeous and the coolest young lady. Have confidence and move forward with full responsibility towards society.
You’ve managed to live this long because you’ve been taken care of by countless people. This is thanks to the structure of the community you’re in. You’ve been helped out a lot without knowing. From now on, in order to pay back for that, please work even for my part.
I’m kidding, sorry. You’re a hard worker, so saying something like this is overdoing it. Have strength and enjoy life, my dearest. I love you.
The letters kept reaching her forever. The words written by her mother were recited in Ann’s mind by a voice that she would occasionally forget.
Back in those times, the feelings of her sick mother had all been addressed to her. Each and every one of them were future birthday cards to her beloved daughter. Meaning that the one Ann had been jealous of was herself.
“There’s no such thing as a letter that needn’t be delivered, Young Mistress.”?Violet’s words echoed in Ann’s ears beyond the borders of time. The letters still found their way to her, even as she was married and with a child of her own.
She – a woman of long, wavy dark hair, who lived in a huge peripheral manor owned by herself, which was located far from town – would make sure to go outside in the morning on a certain day of a certain month. She would wait while taking in the scenery spread out before her. When the noise of the bike ridden by the postman, clad in his green flock coat, could be heard, she would stand up with her eyes shining. Her figure as she anxiously waited while thinking, “Is this it, is this it?” was certainly similar to that of her late mother.
The postman arrived at the residence, handing to her a big package with a smirk. He who knew about the gifts sent to her every year offered warm words of his own as well, “Congratulations on your birthday, Madam.”
She replied with slightly wet dark brown eyes, “Thank you.” and, at last, she asked what she had been wanting to for a long time, “Say, do you know Violet Evergarden?”
The post office and the amanuensis business had a close relationship. Once Ann inquired with her heart pounding ‘what-if’s, the postman replied while grinning, “Yes, since she’s famous. She’s still active. Well, then..”
Once the postman took his leave, Ann watched him as she caressed the gift with a smile. Her tears slowly poured down. Still smiling, she whimpered a little.
——Ah.. Mom, did you hear that just now?
That woman was still working as an Auto-Memories Doll. The person whom she had shared a part of her time with was still doing fine, and continued to do that job.
——I’m happy. I’m really happy, Violet Evergarden.
From within the mansion, she could hear a call, “Mom!”
She turned to the direction of the voice. Someone waved from the window she used to be at when observing her mother and Violet. It was a girl with slightly wavy hair that keenly resembled Ann.
“Another present from Grandma~?”
Ann nodded at her innocently smiling daughter. “Yes, it has arrived!” answering enthusiastically, Ann returned the wave.
Inside the house, her daughter and husband were about to commence her birthday party. She had to hurry back. Crying softly, she walked towards the mansion. As she did so, she was deep in thought.
——Hey, Mom. You said before that you had wanted to give to your child all the happiness you’d once experienced, right? Those words.. made me incredibly happy. It really resonated with me, is what I thought. That’s why I’ll do the same. This isn’t an excuse to see that person. That’s part of the reason, but it’s not all. I, too.. have feelings I want to deliver. Even many years after our first meeting, I have a feeling she definitely will have not changed. With her beautiful eyes and clear voice, she will write about my love for my own daughter. Violet Evergarden is that kind of woman – the one that does not disappoint. On the contrary; she was the type of Auto-Memories Doll that one would want to see doing her work once more. When I see her again, I shall thank her and apologize to her without shyness. After all, I’m no longer that girl who could do nothing but cry.
Ann Magnolia would never forget that woman who had embraced her back when she was young.
I.. remember.
That a young woman had come.
Sitting there, quietly, she would write letters.
I.. remember.
The figures of that person.. and of my kindly smiling mother.
That sight.. surely..
I would not forget even if I died.