Lastly, the contaminated flower garden would be eliminated.

“Generic drugs can be both good and bad. After all the drugs an Elite takes, I’ve heard the sheen of their hair and the smell of the nape of their neck changes.”

“Heivia, you really want the Princess to stomp on your balls, don’t you?”

“I didn’t say anything specific. Who knows? Maybe it makes her armpits smell like lavender.”

“I guess there’s no stopping you when getting stomped turns you on. I feel bad for the Princess.”

“Ksshh... Ahem. You’re guilty too, Quenser.”

“Why!? I was the one stopping him!!”

During their back and forth over the radio, the next problem showed itself.

“What is it now?”

“It doesn’t look like a secret base built to hide porn magazines.”

Several square buildings made of quick-drying concrete had been built in a jungle clearing. The entire area was surrounded by a simple barricade and they could see several sentries walking around and guards up on watchtowers. There were likely more than ten times as many soldiers hanging around inside the buildings.

This was not the Object maintenance base.

Nor was it filled with attack helicopters, fighter jets, and tanks.

Most of the buildings seemed to have large metal shutters and it felt more like a giant warehouse than a fortress or stronghold. They recognized the military cases piled up out front. They were not for ammunition.

“Those are battery packs and they’re messing with parabolic mics or something here and there. This may be a power relay base for those electronics.”

“Are all these macho soldiers fighting while worriedly checking on their phone’s remaining battery? Not that we’re any better with our seven spy tools.”

Suddenly, the noisy fireworks diversion came to an end as if a power switch had been thrown.

The world was wrapped in darkness once more.

“That was the worst possible timing!! Couldn’t you give us at least ten more minutes!?”

“I want to shoot them some more too,” added the Princess.

“Heivia, don’t forget that we’re blowing eight hundred thousand euros each minute for this pointless diversionary tactic. This is the limit. You can’t pay for this with your measly paychecks.”

“You’re the one paying us, so don’t call them measly!!”

“Hey, Heivia. Do you think we can tiptoe our way through this power base?”

“We’re not using ninja skills to sneak into the magistrate’s mansion, so not a chance. All those soldiers have tons of sensors and mics. And that’s just what we can see. I don’t even want to think about how much they have where we can’t see them.”

“Then can we fall back and circle around the base?”

“That’s even less likely to work. They didn’t pick up any definitive footsteps thanks to those fireworks, but they’re still going to be on high alert. They’ll have sent out more patrols. Falling back will only send us right back to that truck.”

Moving forward and falling back would both be hell.

It was truly damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

After thinking inside his soundproofed suit, Quenser sent a suggestion over the radio.

“Heivia, I have a hypothetical for you. ...If all of the power base’s sensors and mics were knocked out and only the flesh-and-blood soldiers’ senses remained, could we sneak across?”

“We might be able to manage it in this darkness, but...you’re joking, right? Are you planning to throw the breaker or something!? Do that and their entire army will notice something’s up! It’d be just like poking at the hornet’s nest!!”

“We just have to make sure they don’t notice.”

The power base had the same presence as a cliff, but Quenser casually pointed to one corner of it.

“Or more accurately, we just have to make them come up with their own ‘explanation’ when they do notice.”

“What? Be more specific, Quenser.”

“Look over there, Heivia.”

Quenser was pointing at a watchtower that gave a view of the entire power base.

A faint light shined in the darkness there.

“They must be bored, so they’re watching TV or online videos.”

“There do seem to be broadcast signals even in the jungle,” said the Princess. “They’re mostly satellite broadcasts, but there are also unauthorized signals being sent in from the sea.”

“A few of the sentries have personal radios hanging from their necks. And of course, all of the soldiers have their communicators.”

“You don’t mean...”

“It’s time for the seven spy tools, Heivia. There’s a flashlight meant to dazzle someone’s eyes, right? Hand that over. I need to mess with it. Also...yes. I need that speaker we used, plus...”

Quenser trailed off there and breathed in before continuing.

“You prepare the E-Thrower, Heivia.”

Part 8

On the modern battlefield, Objects settled everything, so infantry work was hopelessly tedious. Without anything to do, obesity truly could become a problem for an entire unit.

Restrictions on personal items were relatively lax, but did that provide a psychological oasis during the boring job or did it show just how unimportant their work was?

Regardless, while the others were complaining about the stale news provided by a recorded soccer match, one soldier’s mood improved after he found a music-focused radio station.

(Boy Racer’s vocals really start to shine after their second big hit. The lyrics get a lot better too. They stop talking about nonsense like love and romance.)

As he thought about that, a short burst of static ran through the radio.

“?”

He frowned and heard a low rumbling sound.

He stopped walking and looked first into the dark night sky and then to the watchtower.

He brought his military radio to his mouth.

“Hey, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky before, right? There’s nothing but smoke after the Legitimacy Kingdom’s wild party, though.”

He heard more rumbling.

It sounded like thunder despite the supposedly clear weather.

“It’s that smoke’s fault, dammit!” replied the watchtower. “They fired tens of thousands of those things, so the friction built up static electricity. Now, I’m getting scared. The lightning rod on top actually works, doesn’t it? If lightning strikes, it’ll strike here first!!”

It happened a moment later.

Noise exploded nearby along with a flash of light that seemed to pierce into his eyes.

“Waahh!!”

After instinctually crouching down, he sensed an odd sputtering sound and the stench of burning plastic from around his neck.

“My radio... Oh, goddammit!!”

He pulled out the personal radio hanging from his neck by a strap, but once he confirmed it was completely dead, he clicked his tongue and threw it aside. He could see orange sparks in the darkness. They were scattering like willow branches from the searchlights, sensors, parabolic microphones, and all other electronics.

Doors opened and his colleagues poked their heads out to see what was going on. The piles of battery packs had burst like pinwheel fireworks, but they could not just pour a bucket of water on those. He saw a few people heading back inside to grab chemical fire extinguishers.

He spoke into his military radio.

“What was that? An electromagnetic pulse? Did the lightning cause it? ...???”

He received no response.

He hit the switch a few times, but it seemed to be broken too.

Part 9

After confirming from a distance that it had worked, Quenser patted Heivia’s shoulder.

“Let’s head on in. You take the lead.”

“That’s pretty amazing. This is supposed to be a covert mission, but you upped the output of the strobe flashlight meant to dazzle people’s eyes to create a huge flash of light, and then you played as loud a sound as that speaker could manage. A strict by-the-books sergeant would be hitting us about a hundred times right about now.”

“Tone it down too much and they’d notice. When making it loud, you have to go all the way.”

Basically, they had created a blindingly bright flash and a deafeningly loud noise to make the Faith Organization think lightning had struck nearby.

It had been a gamble whether their less-than-clever minds would link the fireworks smoke to lightning, but adding some interference into their TV and radio signals seemed to have helped there. The intermittent static seemed to have placed the idea of lightning in their heads.

And...

“That microwave weapon was surprisingly effective.”

“The tech it uses isn’t that different from radar. It just has a horn-shaped shield attached to give it directionality.”

“I’m pretending to be a spy for my summer research project. I’m eagerly awaiting the offer for a movie adaptation.”

Electromagnetic weapons may have sounded like a gadget from some kind of galactic war, but a few examples were already in use. For example, electromagnetic bombs would scatter a ton of microwaves when they hit in order to interfere with all of the vehicles, electronics, and electromagnetic signals in the area.

Of course, if the Faith Organization’s sensors and microphones were destroyed like that, they would go on high alert. The two idiots would have no chance if the entire army began a search of the entire area.

But their trick had paid off.

The enemy had decided that their equipment had all been blown away by the irregular lightning strike, so they would not suspect even the most extreme of results. They would write it all off as a natural phenomenon.

At any rate, the power base’s security had been completely knocked out.

That only left the naked senses of the humans stuck in absolute darkness without even a single lightbulb. Plus, their eyes and ears had grown accustomed to the artificial light and noise. Until their eyes adjusted to the darkness, they would be unable to see beyond even a few meters away.

“If we’re going to sneak through some barracks, couldn’t they at least be filled with girls? C’mon, let’s go and get this over with.”

Heivia took the lead and Quenser uselessly followed.

Due to the trouble, more soldiers had stepped outside than usual, but that did not matter. All of them were blinded, so the two idiots could slip past without worrying about a thing. The enemy could only see a general silhouette at most, so they would not even see the colors. Standing tall and walking through may have been safer than trying to sneak around.

Or so they thought.

“Oh, no! Some of the more clever ones are pulling out their lighters!!”

“Now they’re making makeshift torches. We need to get through here as soon as we can.”

Part 10

With the security down, Quenser and Heivia managed to slip through to the other side of the Faith Organization’s power base.

They looked back again and again, but no soldiers pursued them and no dogs were released. The entire ordeal seemed to have been accepted as natural.

“Looks like we made it somehow.”

“More importantly, Quenser, look forward. We should be seeing it soon.”

In the thick jungle, they could see fifteen meters ahead when they were lucky. As they cautiously advanced, they finally reached the farthest in area.

“There it is,” said Heivia. “There it is, dammit. That’s the Faith Organization’s tea plantation.”

The forest cleared out.

A moonlit plain was filled with small purple flowers. They had been selectively bred with the pollen of introduced species. Each time the flowers swayed in the wind, a pollen-like fine powder flew up into the air. If not for the soundproofed suits covering their heads, what aroma would they have smelled?

Soldiers with caskets on their backs were crouching down and picking the strange flowers.

The chemical properties were in the roots, not the flowers, so they were handling the petals fairly carelessly.

This was the ingredient for a new drug to develop Pilot Elites for the Faith Organization army.

And more importantly...

“Is that it?”

A giant form towered above the soldiers.

The colossal weapon was over fifty meters tall, covered in thick armor that could withstand a nuke, and equipped with one of the giant main cannons which were the only things capable of piercing the ultimate shield of Object armor. More than one hundred secondary cannons were attached all around the top and bottom of the spherical body like a crown of thorns.

Heivia rested a bazooka-like laser targeting device on his shoulder and Quenser spoke.

“That’s the Faith Organization’s Second Generation Trinity Style!!”

“Hey.”

“Its main cannon is called a laser container cannon. There are laser space elevators, right? By firing a powerful laser at the bottom of the spaceship, the air explosively expands and allows it to escape the atmosphere. This main cannon is one of those tilted on its side. It gathered attention for being filled with optical technology yet firing a metal shell. Of course, all sorts of things can be placed inside the container, like concentrated sulfuric acid, aqua regia, or liquid nitrogen! Onion armor may be called invincible, but it’s still based in hunks of steel. Also, if the container shell is removed, it can be used as a pure laser beam. Honestly, they really built something troublesome here. It’s so excit-...”

“Hey, Quenser!”

“What is it? And I was just getting into it!!”

“You don’t have to brag about the enemy’s specs! Once we lock onto it with this laser sight, the Princess lying in her beach chair one hundred kilometers away can fire her new...what is it called? Ablative shell??? Anyway, she just has to fire that and blow it up!!”

“...”

“...”

Part 11

Without really finding any kind of weakness or making any kind of miraculous recovery, a flash of light and explosive sound filled one corner of the earth.

“Peace really is the best,” said the Princess.

Part 12

“The Trinity Style’s destruction has been confirmed. Even with the laser guidance, the prototype ablative shell was a little weak. I will send the data to the electronic simulation division.”

Major Frolaytia Capistrano received a report from a communications soldier in the Legitimacy Kingdom’s maintenance base zone.

“Please do that. What is the Faith Organization doing?”

“Probably shaking in their boots as they use their radars to watch the Princess move in while ignoring their remaining infantry. Oh, their HQ just sent out the White Flag signal.”

“Understood. That brings an end to this war.”

“What should we do with the stranded Trinity Style?”

“Well... I’m sure the electronic simulation division is already licking their lips, so have them crawl over it before the Princess can attach wires to the wreckage and drag it to their base. Have them absorb as much technology as they can during that short time.”

Everything had gone as planned.

No better ending could be hoped for.

But for some reason, Frolaytia Capistrano tilted her head.

“Hmm, that wasn’t quite thrilling enough.”

“?”