but I am sure that I am very very very uncomfortable.

I should have stayed with the kiddies.

It gets worse, for instead of removing me entirely from this awkward tension, mother plops herself down entirely into father's awaiting lap. Just sits right down as if it were her personal chair. Which, it probably is.

"Oh Frederick darling, you're so awfully right, I am terribly cold. As my husband, it is your decreed duty to see to the matter." mother speaks haughtily.

Next, she could say off with my head and the sickly sweet voice still fits with father's automatic response.

"Yes dear."

Blanket and cloth drowns me as my mother snuggles me in closer to father's warm chest. I try staying very still, just like they teach you against wild predating animals. Maybe if you stay very still and very quiet, they'll think you're dead and leave you alone.

"And the path back is so terribly long and cold, you must carry me and our babe back in due time."

"It will be my honor dear, your tender feet aren't to even touch the unworthy ground."

He makes to lift her up princess style, which mother responds to with a rather cutesy feminine squeal, tightening her cuddling hold. It is to my great mortification that I'm stuck on top, a bug trapped along for the high speed ride.

"Oh darling, not right at this moment. I am still quite chilled and feeling weak. Your silly men's parlor is very good and warm."

"Why how unfoundedly thoughtless of me, of course, dear."

The ride takes a sharp U-Turn from where he was going and drops us all right onto the nearby couch with him. Mother and mine's soft body weight combined to crush the unfortunate man below us without a single complaint. Throughout the entire ordeal, mother's arms have secured me into place as the ultimate seat belt. When settled, she gives another happy squeal and fangirlish head rub into my father's neck and chest.

It could be a very sweet and romantic scene if not for me, dab right in the middle. This is a gross couple cuddle disaster. How do I get off?!

"Comfortable there darlings? Still cold my love?" hums father over the crackling of the fire.

"Oh yes quite. Rosalia makes an excellent coal burner. Look how easily she heats up," mother graces me with some more fresh air and the shame of being known by holding me up for display. I have every good reason to be furiously ashamed. This is too much of being a third wheel, too much. I have been reduced dumb from confused embarrassment. "Look darling this is you."

Fathe raises an eyebrow at that, reaching over to poke at my extremely hot ear, causing me to yelp in sensitive shock. What was that?!

"I do not." he sounds mildly offended.

Mother hold me up even higher, bouncing me up and down as if I were a toy baby.

"Yes you do, that's how red you get when you get embarrassed."

"Hmmm, inconclusive evidence. Your claim holds no weight. Do you have any more direct evidence to present?"

Mother pecks him on the cheek with an exaggerated smack, to which he mockingly shrugs at.

"Anything else?"

She goes in for the kill and I die. I know it because father's larger hand reaches around mother's shoulders to not only hold her properly but to fully cover my innocent eyes to what ensues next.

They must linger for too many seconds too long before finally pulling away with an audibly wet smack. Father's fingers falling down, brushing against my face.

If they would just release me. Please mother, I'm so sorry for everything I have yet to do. Please let me go.

"I am not seeing the same effects" he gestures with much contained bravado. First at his own mildly attractive blush, then to my red hot coal furnace of a face.

Where did father's shame go?! Where?!!! It's our home away from the public eye but I'm right here?!! Have they been desensitized to me?! Was it from that one time we do not speak of?

For shame!

Mother smacks my cheeks with her loose lips, squishing my cheek with her own face to feel for temperature, shaking me out of the blankets.

"Oh dear, you're quite right. To be fair though I think Rosalia has gotten too warm."

"Of course Maria, whatever do you take me for? " his smile is small but radiates a triumphant and arrogant air.

I don't know why though. What for? We get it, you're so gross. So gross.

This time both of mother's hands cover my eyes again but I can still hear. Hear loud and clear mother's evil giggles and the wretched yelp of shock and pain, just pain- nothing else- no, nothing else, that must be my father's.

"Oh hohohoho~ There we go! Shame shade. "

When those gentle hands release me and I can, unfortunately, see again, father is clutching his right ear while turning increasingly redder than his hair. Forget carrots, that's a tomato. The shame is back so full force that he takes to hiding himself in my mother's hair, burying himself into the back crook of her laughing neck.

What a pink rosy atmosphere. I'm going to be so so very sick...

...That's it! What's the one thing that could ensure any child's escape? It's a cheap move but by god it always works. It even worked on me!

"Bathroom! I have to go use the bathroom now!"

Now that gets my parents' attention, sobering them up from their lovey-dovey mood instantly.

"....Pardon?"

"Oh dear I think she was quite clear enough. Oh Rosa, can you hold it till we get to....

"I gotta go nooooowwwww," I whine, still very red in the face.

"Oh dear. Frederick darling?"

"Yes Maria, on it dear."

I would have been fine if they would just point me in the right direction but no, again life does not work out the way I want it to. For father has maneuvered and carried me off to somewhere behind the bear carvings, leaving mother snug on the sofa. Escape from the gross couple only partially complete.

Funny thing is I actually do have to go now.

--------

----

--

Mission complete! The darling husband has been found and captured!

Well practically captured. Nature calls and children are just so delicate you know? Poor Rosalia, her daughter was tossed and thrown around to her father's frivolous whims this whole time. That's why she had to keep them separate while Rosalia was recuperating, for their own good.

The maids are still finding cheese in her Lilyanne's precious hair after a day with Frederick?

Maria thought it was odd when her darling, who normally finds all sorts of ways to still work on something, offered to have them retire early for the evening. Oh, but she was lured in by the promises of sweet nothings under the sound of his playing. A hot bath, a well-deserved massage, kisses more intoxicating than wine by perhaps the most devilishly handsome lad in the world.

It was everything and more than any maid, young or old, could ever dream for.

Until she actually fell asleep that is.

Out like a light. There was no sweet anything after her bath, did she fall asleep in there again? When did that happen? Oh, she shouldn't have had that second well poured glass of sherry, or was it third? Curses, but her darling looked too delectable personally pouring and serving her hand and foot.

The not-quite steamy enough memory had her rolling around the sofa going "kyaaa kyaaa!!!~".

Though she had just teased and had good fun at her darling's expense, that's only because of her innocent daughter's presence in the room. In private he could reduce her to a puddle of happy tears but in public, Frederick can hardly bring himself to kiss her hand. They just passed that threshold only a few short years ago.

Though that shy reserved side of him was too terribly cute, if not terribly vexing at times. Oh and the colors that he makes.

Her drool was stopped as Maria did feel some slight apprehension towards the future of her eldest. If Rosalia was as much Frederick's child as she feared, if her darling firstborn stayed as easily shy and adorable as she is now wouldn't that just invite hungry bullies?!

Oh no her daughter was just too cute! Just like Frederick! So easy to tickle and fluster, to make redder than a winterberry or summer's sweetest fruits. Too easy.

Oh dear. What to do?

More guards? Oh but both Maria and Frederick had hated the idea of restricting their children the way they were. Say as they might, Maria is sure her husband already had his people assigned in the shadows. She never saw a sign of them but Maria would like to think she knew her darling well enough at this point? They've only known each other for about 20 or so years, which is far behind what her papa' had but it was something quite considerable to her.

Ah the memory of a small Frederick, chubby red cheeks and even redder hair had her clutching her racing heart with a cushion, rolling around even more violently going 'kyaaa kyaaa!'.

Cuteness could conquer the world.

She wonders if Rosalia would grow to resemble her father more and more as she grew up? Maria had never seen what her darling had looked like in his earliest days. It was easy to mistake her as a boy with the way she went around, oh and her little redding curls were so much more smooth and manageable than Maria's ever was.

At that moment Maria had entirely forgotten the matter of her eldest child having a fiancee or being possibly threatened by bullies hungry to pull at cute pigtails.

For 1. she is not her anxious responsible husband and two. Typically she was the one doing the metaphorical pigtail pulling. Preferably on pretty poncy little redheads with their smooth rose petal locks and smart pretty flowing words....when they weren't being horribly rude that was. Or when her anger didn't get the better of her young self.

Ah those were hard times. Innocent and precious in their own way but...quite hard. Darling was always running away from her since the start wasn't he?

Somehow though, she felt that it was harder to chase after their own shared daughter than her husband back then. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Oh perhaps this is what Gable dearest meant when he said she was a handful as a child? The problem was that Maria had such small hands and two very big handfuls that were her girls.

It is with all self honesty that Maria had always though her youngest would be her biggest source of pain and troubles. Her largest guilt. For Lilyanne to be born with such power but not a healthy suitable enough body to last her. It didn't matter if Rosalia would show no talents in magic all her life, not even a spark. Darling and her would take care of it all, so long as she was healthy. It was Lilyanne to worry for.

Contrary to her expectations, to her greatest blessings both prayed for and not, it really was the firstborn that kept her on her toes. Even before Lilyanne's illness was discovered and practically cured, Rosalia had such bad habits of wandering and running off.

A playful and curious child, with all the wonder but none of the magic to keep her from harm's way. She was as soft and easy to break as her father had been back then, no, even more so given her age! Oh and she was a girl too!

To hear that their Rosalia was blessed with magic, though in a confusingly unexpected way, made Maria sigh with great relief. It was something. If she was ever thrown off a mountain, sunk into the sea or stuck facing dire odds against man eating beasts, then at least she had a chance. Oh but by all means, Maria would not allow such a thing to happen in the first place. Not again!

But it's quite hard to stop papa? Or the trouble that follows him? Things happen? Maria, unfortunately, knew that best.

Why must all the men in her life be so terribly troublesome? So unreasonably dangerous but oh so wonderfully loveable? What a trade off.

In was in the middle of a particularly strong roll, maybe thinking about ways to punish her darling for leaving her last night, that she knocked into his desk. She didn't hit it too hard, but the top few papers went fluttering with the rattle.

Oh dear.

There was no one around to see her behave so unladylike, so it was fine right? She didn't want to just leave darling's wonderful hard work on the floor when it could be lost or trampled on! He already spent more than enough of his precious time on them. Let's not waste anymore! Not like that painting.

It was very sweet and beautiful yes but....who would want an extra large painting of themself? But if that's how much darling loves her then who is she to deny his awkward manners and attempts to make her happy. That side of him is also cute.

That's how father and daughter found Maria when they returned from the designated 'bathroom', behind the carved wooden sea bear. Yes, the beautiful and dignified mother Maria, looking around the floor on all fours and occasionally rolling around in a squealing joy, invisible hearts radiating off of her.

Out of half mortification and half great thanks and appreciation for the blessed view, the pair allowed the innocent mother to carry on, oblivious to the witnesses in the room.

"Ah got them all! Oh but what's this?.... Oh. Oh! Oh this isn't darling's?"

Gingerly she set the slightly crinkled papers down but one, holding it to the firelight. The thinness of the parchment paper seeping a warm filter light through it, giving the image a hazy dreamy feeling.

It was a very strange sort of drawing, if it could be considered that, but it made a very wonderful image. At least it did to Maria, even if she wasn't the most qualified judge on such matters. Beautiful things were beautiful. She even felt a tear or so welling up at the little thing.

Blurred charcoal made for a shadowy night time window frame, similar to any of the larger ones overlooking their own home. Spilling from the corner of the frame was more blurred charcoal, making layers to a beautiful lady's dress. At least, that's the impression the viewer got, for the face wasn't even done in properly.

Shadows and fog, given shape only with a strange line left unbroken. It was amazing in how much was seen in only so few strokes, just one if you followed the line. Minimal.

One line crisscrossing to make the panes of a swirling iron window. Twisting to make a continuous line art of a practically faceless woman. There were the waves of hair, a small defined chin, lips and even a nose but it stopped there, the line ending without eyes.

Somehow it all felt so terribly sad, so lonely. The tears in Maria's own eyes, wide open, falling down her face.

"Mama?"

"Maria what's wrong?! Are you hurt anywhere?"

Within seconds her darling was at her side on the ground, ready to lift her up and inspect her for any injuries that didn't exist. At that same moment, Maria couldn't help feeling for her. Wondering how long the woman in the funny picture was left waiting for.

She lifted the little paper higher, angled to where her darling's sitting portrait of her hung.

It was the same pose.

"Darling?"

"Yes Maria?"

"Can I have this one?"

Long gentle fingers took her hand in his, lowering them along with the strange paper. With his other hand, he wiped away the streaks and droplets that ran. His smile and heaven light eyes made Maria want to cry harder even though he was right there.

"Whatever for Maria my love?"

"For when I miss you. Or papa. For when I miss anyone or anything. I think she and I would get along. I think she would know this feeling I can't put into words."

He silenced her with a kiss, soft but sure.

"You don't need it my love. Trust me? I'll do better, I'll always pick you first, no matter what. So trust me? Trust me again?"

"Do you promise?"

"Hmmmm do I?"

*smack*"Promise darling?"

"Dear love, I do. I promise."

So maybe she throws herself onto him so hard his head hits the floor with a thud. It was worth it, pain and giggles and all. To both of them, it was all worth it.

To such a lovely couple lost in the own world, they don't notice as a toddling third wheel slowly and subtly make her escape.

As soon as Rosalia backed away, just far enough to enter the unknown doorway behind the barrels, she took off running into the dark.

"AAAH Gross gross gross!!!! My eyes! My ears! They're so stupid and gross!!!!"

Maybe crying too, maybe.

------