A Slackers guide to Immortality

15 Back with the boys in Blue.

*Elder Bi's House Jimbo just stopped by.

Elder Bi realized that this was an important mission if they couldn't get any tires there was no way to take any produce to market.

"Both of us shall accompany you Jimbo."

"Elder I need to finish the books. Please don't make me go."

"Shall I get the bat to offer encouragement?"

The bat was mightier than the pen so the Schloar was defeated.

"Scholar don't forget your Shawl of Concealment. Also get my Coat of Many Colors it is bound to get chilly on the way to Deadhorse."

*6 hours later it's getting to be late afternoon The Tinker,The Elder, and The Scholar have been pulled over by the Shawnee Province Highway Patrol.

"Liscense,Registration, and Proof of insurance." said the officer from behind his polarized aviator shades. He had a clipboard in hand ready to write multiple appropriate citations.

"I'm sorry officer I ain't got none of that." Jimbo said calmly.

"Sir I am going to ask you to step off of the vehicle while I call a tow truck to impound this motor convience. After the tow truck gets here I will give you and your passenger a ride down to the station. From there you can call whoever you need to."

Elder Bi was quiet until this point but he asked the patrolman a question.

"Officer are you married do you have children?"

"Divorced twice no kids old man what's it to you?"

"The Crane stalks the mouse while he is distracted by delusions of power. White Tides crash into a beach beating rocks to powder.

Elder feasts on sauerkraut while Brother Blue lives in a fox hole."

"Old and crazy fuck you. Your poems are terrible I'm calling the tow truck. Your contraption will be in the impound lot for 3 days then disassembled and melted down."

The officer pulled put his cellphone.

"Hey Tony this is Phil with the highway patrol I need you out at mile marker 48 on Highway 7.

There's some inbreds riding around on an illegal motorcycle. Yeah it needs to be hauled to Earl's. Thanks."

White Tides had on his Shawl of Concealment. As long as he didn't make any noise the cop wasn't going to notice him.

He had picked up on Elder's subtle clues so he made his way out the truck bed to behind the police man. He balled up his fist letting his middle knuckle protrude out further than the others. Then White Tides hit the officer in the temple. The cop crumpled to the ground White Tides was already handcuffing the guy.

"Jimbo we need to get rid of the LoJack on this car I think I want to keep this sweet Crown Vic."

"I guess I can cut the tracker out of it White Tides but it's a gas burner that might be a problem out on the farm."

The Elder cleared his throat. " If we are stealing one car we may as well steal a tanker truck too. If any of the other sects ask these were gifts from our newly arrived brothers. Brother Blue for instance has given Scholar White Tides his car for teaching him that hubris only leads to destruction."

They put brother Blue in the trunk of the police car while Jimbo cut the tracker out of the car and destroyed the tape from the dashcam.

The tow truck arrived before too long and the process was repeated White Tides knocked out Brother Chris Trucker. Then Chris Trucker was sharing quarters with Brother Blue.

"Now what Jimbo we each have a car we need to drive back also we are going to run out of gas in the Crown Vic."

"I have an idea Elder. We put the car on the back of the rollback wrecker. It saves gas and frees up a driver for us to liberate a tanker or dump truck."

* Back At Young Three's

I feel like a beltsander was run in my asscrack. She really wanted to make sure that was clean. Joe thought.

As she was scrubbing his back and shoulders he appreciated it alot more. It felt good.

"Don't get too comfortable just yet Grubworm.

We are going to swap places soon."

Young Three let her clothes soak in the bucket. Joe was was drying himself off and putting his clothes on. He turned and caught the scrub brush as Young Three tossed it to him.

"Really put your weight into it Grubworm. That's the only way to get the dead skin off."

Joe was determined to scrub hard enough to take off a couple layers of skin. He really worked up a good lather on her back. He thought he might get some revenge for the events of the day. He started kissing on her neck. Young Three moaned a little.

"Don't start something you can't finish Grubworm..."

She grabbed him by his head with both hands and roughly gave him a French kiss.She untied his robe with one hand.

She pinned him to the wet grass straddling him then began to lick his erect nipples she worked her way to his navel. She pushed his legs apart and began to kiss his inner thighs.

"Roll over recruit face down ass up."

Joe was hopeful for what would come next. So he did as he was bid. He waited with anticipation.

*Whack.

Tears were brought to Joe's eyes and the worst sting he ever felt on his cheeks.

"Enjoy your blue balls recruit." Young Three giggled. She toweled off and walked back the tent alone.

Joe took a moment to put himself back together. She just trolled the hell out of me. May as well make this a solo party. Joe got down to task.

I really should do something to keep him more active. Thought Young Three. The pig's blood helped prop him up through the day but it does come with side effects Unless he can burn off that excess vital energy it might cause some problems later the least of which is going to be increased libido. It might be time to see what I have in the toy pile that he can play with.

*30 miles outside of Deadhorse

Jimbo had ordered a cheeseburger at the Beef and Chick a little diner and truckstop.

Locals call it the Barf and Choke. After a bite of that burger I now know why.

The Elder was stocking up on pipe tobacco at the check out counter and flirting with a teenager running the register.

White Tides was out in the parking lot looking over some tankers. Trying to make up his mind if he should go for the 80s model Pederford or that new Valvo with all the chrome on it.

"The Valvo is like a damn spaceship. Way too many electrical parts for easy maintenance. I bet the Peterford would be easier to steal. I would never be able to hotwire that Valvo anyways." White Tides muttered. He waited for the driver to go inside then climbed into the unlocked cab.

The Tinker left the truckstop about 2 minutes before the Elder. The Elder was all smiles when he climbed into the rollback.He saw a tractor trailer pull out of the lot. Looks like White Tides found us a tanker I just hope that it's full.

**** Static over the cb in the tanker truck.

John John where you at? The buyers in Deadhorse need that gasoline ASAP Asshole I can see you on the monitor you are going the wrong way I bet you didn't think the company would spring for a babysitter on that rusty cab over you are in huh we got you. Just turn around buddy head into town no questions asked ok.*

Shit I hate complications thought White Tides.

He flipped the channel on the cb to 19

"Tinker Tinker this is Unstoppable Tides do you copy? Over."

"You got the Tinker. Unstoppable What you need?Over."

"I got this here load of go go juice good buddy but there is a tiny passenger on board he's telling me that Deadhorse is our rendezvous."

" 10-4 good buddy the Tinker and the Geezer will follow you into town big daddy still wants a fat girl to bring home tonight.Your guardian angel will get lost somewhere between here and Purgatory. Over."