hing will change. You’ll just end up having an unpleasant experience. But, mind you, I personally think this decision is cruel. I’ll negotiate to see if they can at least give you good severance pay.”

It was not a joke. He was really being laid off. The truth crept up threateningly from his feet.

“But, well, compared to people in their fifties, you’re still young and you’re single. You’ve got plenty of chances to start over. I thought I’d let you know about this early, since you’ve probably got to think about finding other employment and such. The official announcement will be on March 25. Be sure not to tell anyone until then.”

As Hirosue stood dumbfounded, the head clerk gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“Just because you have to quit, it doesn’t mean your life is over. Don’t let it get to you too much.”

The head clerk left the meeting room, leaving Hirosue alone. He collapsed into a nearby chair. Both Matsuoka and the head clerk had said that only people over fifty were being laid off. Why had he been part of that group?

Hirosue knew that his transfer to Koishikawa Laboratory was, in effect, a relegation, since he wasn’t even a researcher. But he had believed that he would some day be transferred back to headquarters if he continued to do his best. But far from being transferred back, he was being laid off. He was being branded as an Unwanted Worker.

Hirosue knew he wasn’t amazing at his work. He was slow and clumsy. But still, in his own way, he believed he had worked hard and done the best he could. Was that still not enough? Did that mean he was incompetent? He probably was, if he wasn’t wanted anymore. His thirteen years of employment at this company had all come to naught.

There was also the news that his evaluation had been terrible at headquarters. It was true that he and his boss, Fukuda, had not gotten along. But Hirosue had worked for several bosses in the past who thrust the blame onto lower workers or made unreasonable demands. Fukuda was nothing special.

However, he did sense that Fukuda harboured a needless animosity towards him. Had Fukuda lowered Hirosue’s evaluation grades based on personal feelings? Would someone who stood above others do such a thing purely for personal reasons?Maybe―maybe―Just thinking about it made Hirosue’s chest feel tight and his thoughts turn black. He didn’t want to hate anyone for something that might not even be true. He wanted to believe it wasn’t.

So, why was he being laid off? It was because he wasn’t good enough. Because he couldn’t do his work. Because he was incompetent. Not needed by his company. Hirosue felt dashed to the ground by his own thoughts, and his spirits sank so low they seemed to know no bottom. It was a while before Hirosue could get out of his chair.

He didn’t remember much of what happened until he arrived at home. He returned once to the office, then sat down in front of the computer like the rest of his colleagues working overtime, but he didn’t remember thinking or moving his hands.

When he came to, he was sitting absently on the?tatami?floor of his apartment, still wearing his coat. The heat was turned off in his room, and it was freezing cold. He was hungry, but he didn’t have the energy to go out to buy something.

I’m going to get laid off.

Hirosue cradled his head, at a loss of how to cope with this harsh reality. He couldn’t bear to tell his parents that he was being made to quit his job. It would be too humiliating to say he had been laid off because he was incompetent. His family wasn’t wealthy, but when he told them he wanted to go to a university in Tokyo, they had let him go without a single complaint. Afterwards, when he managed to get a job at a decently well-known company, they had been happy for him. They forgave him for only being able to visit during the Obon holiday and the new year. “Things must be busy at big company like yours,” they’d say. And after coming this far, this is what it had come to. Hirosue didn’t want his parents to think that he was a failure.

When April rolled around and he was kicked out of his company, he wouldn’t be able to go back home. He didn’t want to. This meant he would have to search for a new job in the city. He hadn’t gone job-searching since university, so he had no idea where to start. Employment magazines??Hello Work? His uncertainty did nothing but aggravate his anxiety.

An e-mail ringtone resounded in his cold room. Hirosue lazily dragged his cell phone out of his bag. It was from Matsuoka.

‘You done work? I’m just about to go home now. Are you good with 7pm tomorrow at the usual spot?’

He remembered now that he had made plans to have dinner tomorrow with Matsuoka. Matsuoka always e-mailed him with a confirmation the day before their plans, in case they had to change plans due to work.

Hirosue had gotten the same kind of e-mail many times in the past. It was his current predicament, perhaps, that made Matsuoka’s words seem overly giddy in his eyes. ―It irritated him to no end.

Matusoka had no idea about Hirosue’s situation. It wasn’t Matsuoka’s fault―he knew that, but he couldn’t bring himself to reply. He turned off his cell phone. Right now, he didn’t feel like interacting with anyone at all.