I didn't notice the change within my father, until it came. It was a car that provoked him, seemingly out of the blue, by cutting his lane. It was unnecessary, that is true indeed, but the reaction of my father was what was the truly surprising thing in this situation to me. He became angry like I have never seen him before. He yelled so loud, I had to hold my ears shut. His eyes were glowing with an aggression, that was so unusual for his behavior. He didn't blink, just blankly stared at the car in front, like it was the reason my mother was dead. Huh? My mother was dead? My older self was wondering for a short time, why I just remembered it. Still it didn't change anything. I knew my mother died when I was young, but I couldn't confirm if it was before or after the memory till now. The next glance I got of my father was a disturbing image, I wish I had never seen afterwards. His whole dignity, which was build up over years in my heart, was destroyed in just one glimpse. He was red from yelling, his eyes bloodshot and dry, but what was the most disturbing was that little parts of white froth were leaking from the corner of his mouth. His overall appearance had something of an animal, lost in his own blood rush. And as if he was really in a blood rush; or maybe he wanted to suicide, I couldn't tell, he sped up. We were in the middle of a chaotic multiple lined street and he sped up. DID HE WANTED US TO FUCKING CRASH?!? This realization hit me harder than anything else did before. Physical damage was irrelevant compared to this. My own father wanted to crash together with me. I lost everything, I had in this moment. I was lifeless.

What happened after this was zooming before my eyes like a film. I was too shocked to make this film into reality within my mind.

We did crash. Our car was this fast by this time, that the heck was lifted in the air by the collision. We did a Salto in midair, and with such speed, that we landed in front of the car and facing it. The time in midair was going really slow in my memory, I literally realized every detail of it. My father's facial expression, that indicated that he regained control over his mind again, his demolished head when we landed, but most importantly the car we crashed into was only driven by a vague silhouette made from a faint blue light. After the landing our car got demolished too. I got stuck in my seat only surrounded by unnaturally bend metal. My old consciousness noted at this point, that it was obvious by now where my claustrophobia came from.

After a moments time, that felt like years in which I just spectated the corpse of my dying father and the terrifying car in front, the car in front started to regain its old shape. After it was rebuilt it accelerated. What happened next, I am unable to describe in words, but I will try to get as near to the actual experience as it is possible for me. The car accelerated into our car, it kind of just passed through even though, it was still feel able. What was the most mysterious was the blue light that seemingly steered the car passed right through my body. I don't know if it left or stayed within me, I simply fainted by its contact with my skin.

As soon, as it got dark in my memory, I awoke in the real world.