Villagers were working the field, this seemed like a peaceful activity, yet they were all on edge. There weren't many peaceful days lately.

What could they do... Their kingdom was long lost, humanity was hunted and all humans lived in small groups as to avoid unwanted attention.

This was just one of the many hidden human villages in the Riverhorn Valley.

Today was like any other day. The women were working the field, the children were hidden in nearby caves making pots or working on other small tasks, some of the men were hunting and the rest were acting as sentries.

When suddenly a loud noise scared them, it came from the sky, as they all looked up they were half blinded by the sun. [Was the sun always this bright?] They thought.

All they could see through their fingers was a tiny spot getting bigger and bigger as it was getting closer.

The ones with good earing could hear a weird shout "NO~FREAKKKIN~WAAYYYY~!".

[What an awful sound... Is that the cry of a wyvern giving birth to quintuplets?], [No wait... Are we being attacked?]

One of the sentries shouted:"RUN AW-..."

But it was too late, whatever it was had already landed... Well more precisely it crashed... Loudly. Then it rolled for dozens of meters, hit a wooden wall, rebounded on a tree, went pass a few chickens, destroyed some bushes, before it finally stoped.

The villagers could only see rays of light piercing the dust where it stopped. As the dust settled the shape of a man was revealed, he had long black hair that reached his shoulder, he was tall, perhaps around 1m80, taller than most people in this world. He was wearing a beautiful white outfit with golden runes. His gaze was focused as if looking at something very far, he was very calm as if what just happened didn't concern him. His hands folded on top of each other were hidden in his long sleaves. The breeze moved his outfit rhythmically and waved his hair, rays of light still illuminated him, it was almost as if they were placed on purpose, he looked just like an immortal.

As he looked around, the villagers felt awe. His gaze was confident, aloof, it could only belong to an honest man. This man was proud! He was strong!

The man finished inspecting his surrounding, and then he thought to himself : "THAT DAMN BI-".

*****

Let's go back a few minutes.

That man had just woken up, he was in an unfamiliar place.

[Huh? Where is this? I think I was just...]

"Hi!"

[Hm?] He turned around and saw a woman floating in the air.

[Is that... A ghost? Crap... Am I dead?] He panicked and looked around him.

[This is definitively not earth... is this hell? Oh crap. I shouldn't have peeped on the neighbour lady... I really shouldn't have tried to get in the women's bath either... And that time I made my lab partner touch a battery to see her boobs jiggle when she got zapped. Wait...]

As he started sweating he noticed his body was real. [I can't float so at least I am not a ghost... Right?]

"Hey, you!"

[No way, no way! There is no way I'm going to start talking to ghosts! Even if she is a bit cute! This is going to start all kind of trouble for me! Let's ignore her.]

"Honorable Hero! I have summoned you here!"

[Whoa, this one read too many novels. She is definitively trouble!] As he thought that he started leaving.

"Damn you! Listen to me!"And just then the "ghost" caught up to him and kicked him from behind.

A blood curling shout echoed in the valley: "GYAAAAA ! Damn you that hurt! My heritage! My golden balls!" He said rolling around on the ground.

"Sorry... Missed your butt... Teehee!" She said while striking a cute pose.

[God that hurt. Did I loose one? I probably did... And what's with that cute pose? Are you pretending to be an idol?] He wanted revenge... But what could he do against a violent ghost?

"W-what do you want honorable flatboard lady?"

"Who is flat!" She almost burst out in anger... But then calmed down.

"I am Ariadne, what's your name?"

"I am Christopher Duhan"

"Hmm, the family name is fine, the first name needs work if you want to fit in... Hmm, let's shorten it to 'Chris' and it should be fine. Listen to me Chris Duhan ! In this world I am the Goddess of Humanity, and I have summoned you for a task, do you understand me so far?" She asked.

"What I understand is that I can't get married anymore because of you... How are you going to take responsibility?! Body or gold?!"

As he said that, she prepared another kick.

"Wait, wait, I am listening: Beautiful Goddess... Honorable hero...task!" He said panickedly.

"Hm" she coughed, "I am humanity's god. I created them long ago. And now my adorable humans are in trouble! No way I am going to let that happen!"

"So I looked for a heroic soul that was just about to die and brought him here! I got there just in time to witness your last act! It was incredible! I have never seen such selflessness! I knew right then you were the one to lead my children!"

As the girl continued her impassioned speech he tried to recall his last moments on Earth.

[Hmm? Last act? I was peepi... I mean checking if my neighbour was alright. She had just worked out quite a bit and was all sweaty... I was worried. But then I was spotted and she over reacted... I ran away... tried to cross the road... Fell on the sidewalk... Rolled a few times... Hit something soft... And then got hit by a bus.]

[Did she witness my efforts to prevent cardiac events?] He turned his attention to the girl that was still talking.

"The way you pushed that kid away from the bus without a thought for your safety... How you showed your martial prowess... Those rolls were very impressive, are they your special move? Anyways I knew then you were the one!"

"R-right." Said Chris.

"My children are in a bit of trouble, nothing you can't handle thought! So I summoned you to help them out. Become their king, rebuild their kingdom, dominate the land!" As she said this she striked another pose...

"Sure..." he said. [Should I believe her? I mean I AM in another world... I wonder what the news in my old world will report tomorrow? 'Peeping tom dies saving ungrateful brat!' ? I wish they would leave out the peeping tom part though... Did she say 'become King'? How do I do that? Is there a sword to pull out of a rock somewhere? Do I get a cheat? I just re-incarnated, I should get one right? Aah... The neighbour lady was so stacked... This one though...] He thought as he sneaked a look at her chest.

" So... GO!" She said pointing in the distance while striking another pose.

"Huh?" He said, "What are you saying O' beautiful lady? Go? Go where? Do what? I know nothing of this place. Do I show up and say 'Hey, I'm your king!'?"

"Alright, but this is the last time I am spoiling you!". She looked at him and said, "Let's start by changing your clothes... There all better, aren't you handsome."

His clothes were instantly replaced by a long white outfit with golden runes.

"Now let's help you make a good entrance," she said, and then grabbed his collar and threw him hundreds of kilometers away!

****

And we are back.

[THAT DAMN BITCH!]