my earliest memory is that of the metallic taste of blood dripping down my chin as I chew on a field mouse that I caught moments earlier, I can still remember the bite of hunger that got only worse by eating such a small meal, I remember the heaviness of my feet as I struggled to walk back to the sorry excuse of a shack my parents proudly called home. They were ferals like me, cast away from society and our own clansmen because we have a tinge more of the beast in us then they do.

My parents were smarter than half of the villagers and were able to resist the temptations of instinct better than all of them, I have never seen my parents succumb to the hunt or the taste of blood, they never allowed the heat to control them into a mating frenzy like the rest of the villagers every mating season in every month, I know that because I witnessed it countless times, those who called us beasts were behaving more beastly than us.

My parents worked for each piece of meat, bone and skin they put on the table, my father worked as porter half the day and hunted food for us the other half while my mother would sew and stitch and make some tools and clothing that father could sell for a few copper coins or a scrap of meat. Whenever I returned home stinking of blood and whatever kill I made, my mother would apologize for being so useless that she got herself cast away and my father would brag that none of the villagers my age was half as obedient and independent as I am, none of them could match my body that was turned into a hunting machine by the hard and scarce life we lived.

My mother taught me how to behave like a wise being while father taught me the ways of the beast, like my parents I too was shunned for having more of the beast in me then the villagers did, they did not notice that neither of my parents nor I have been part of their most beastly moments, a time that even the outcast were welcomed back to the village.

One day I returned home to find my father bound like a criminal while my mother looked like a dead doll as she was mounted by a man in ecstasy I only felt when having a full stomach. On that day I had made my first big kill and caught myself a wild boar, I was so happy to be the one bringing food to the table for once and reducing the burden on my parents. That day I was broken, I watched my parents and their dead eyes as if their souls have left their bodies, while the offending man, upon leaving, threw a few golden coins saying that he enjoyed our hospitality this time too and next time he wanted a taste of something younger.

Although I was still little I understood what he said and did because I saw it once every month in the village, however, none of his words struck me as hard as the words he said as he threw the golden coins " this time too", this has happened before, many many times, and now I finally understood why my parents would let me roam in the forest ever since I could walk, they protected me in their own way, and they survived by letting themselves be treated as toys to keep me alive, I understood at that moment what mother said when she told me time and time again "I will do anything to keep a smile on your face".

Mother and father did not know that I saw everything, in their trance what that man did was like a wisp of smoke, something that can never be real, and in their trance, the world stopped moving forward and nothing that happens would be remembered. I loathed myself for being the cause of such misery to my parents, but I hated that man more, I tracked him and maimed him in the middle of the village, I told all of them that if they dared mistreat my family again I would hunt down their children, I would burn their homes and make them eat each other, for once in my life both the beast and the wise in me were acting together, and that presence frightened the villagers, for they feared the manner of beast I was, a wise beast, wild with power and instinct and wiser than humans, I had sneaked inside the village and maimed a man in the middle of the square while both adults and kids watched, and they feared that I would make my threat a reality.

That man never again returned to our home, and my father and mother started getting fair payment for their work with the villagers, my parents naively believe that it was a waking conscience that swayed the villagers, however, I was more na?ve in my thinking, threatening alone was not enough and I paid the price for that mistake dearly, because not long after, a slaver arrived and captured us with the most profitable part of the village, I heard one of the villagers cry out that this was not the deal he made, he was promised gold in exchange for a beast-ling family, however he got his wife and kids captured with the rest of us and did not even get a copper coin for his troubles. That night the slaver noticed the enmity between me and the captured villagers, so he tortured that information out of them, he then took me away from the rest, took off my shackles, and said to me "go have your revenge, I will be waiting for your return, you will be my most treasured battle slave and I will make sure you and your parents live in luxury if you heed my advice".

That night I returned to the village, I killed and maimed and force-fed the adults their own kin, I burned their homes and destroyed their lives, I made good on my threat, however, when I returned to the slaver my parents had gone too deep inside their trance refusing to believe I saw their most shameful secret, and so they stayed half dead until they died a few years ago, probably killed by the slaver.

I have to admit that the first slaver made good on his word, as long as I trained under his tutelage I lived like a queen, even my parents had their own servants, we lived in luxury, one that I earned by fighting like a beast for the entertainment of the rich and powerful, the man who bought my first time made the mistake of sleeping beside my drugged body, I killed him as soon as I got control over my body, and half the people in his home thanks to that mistake, I was later sold as to another slaver because the first one feared for his life, and this new one made the mistake of sending me into the dungeon without making me a legal slave, I killed the party he sent to train me in the dungeon and joined that big organisation of beast-lings until I met the man who I was destined for.

Mother always said, "when the day comes for you to choose a mate, find one that smells more delicious than anything else in the world, if you find that one then just haunt them until they accept you because with them even living in hell would feel like a piece of heaven".