CH 42
Xuanmen’s disciples all have an intense personality, the moment Bu Lingyun got captured she increasingly tried to push her neck into the blade of He Ku’s sword. Fortunately, He Ku knocked her out before she could spill her own blood.
He’s seen the Fallen Immortal Lake countless times in his memories, but now that he was here in person, the only thing his gaze fell on was the red figure at the center of the lake. He had finally found the other half of his soul and no longer cared for anything else, he threw the unconscious Bu Lingyun to the side before running towards the lake. Unexpectedly, Bu Yaolian didn’t even spare a glance towards his daughter, he didn’t give He Ku even the slightest opportunity to get close to that person.
In the blink of an eye, Bu Yaolian’s sword was held horizontally to his chest. He said, “Shixiong, you’re here.”
Every Xuanmen disciple would address Bu Qingyun as ‘da-shixiong’, only one person would just call him ‘shixiong’ since childhood. Within He Huan’s memory, Bu Yaolian was the solemn boy who always accompanied him while growing up. Although he wasn’t as handsome or eyecatching as Bu Qingyun, he also had a refreshing appearance. Now, he was a middle-aged man with speckles of gray sprinkled on his brows. When he stood in front of He Ku to block him, He Ku suddenly felt a bit surreal. It was as if everyone from that year had already aged, only Bu Qingyun remained at the same spot, unmoving.
“From when our Shizun announced to the world that you had been possessed, I knew that you would definitely come to find me.”
In the end, this sense of surrealness only lasted for a moment. When that person’s words entered his ears once again, he finally remembered the role he played in his past and all of the reminiscence and words he had dissipated from him. He held his CaiYun Sword up, pointing it at Bu Yaolian and said, “I’m not here for you, get out of my way.”
“That’s right, I have never been important to you. Even though things are at this point, the person you hate is not me.”
From the day Qing XuZi brought Feng Xie back, Bu Yaolian knew that Bu Qingyun would definitely return. However, when that familiar CaiYun sword entered his vision, he realized that he still couldn’t keep his composure in front of this person.
Bu Qingyun was still the same, dressed in a white robe, unsullied by anything. His face was as handsome as Zhe Xian’s[1] and no matter where he stood, he would always steal people’s attention immediately. Even if his clear eyes reflected a bubbling anger, it was like a peach blossom in full bloom. It made people reluctant to move their eyes away. All of this was exactly the same as in his memories, as if the time of eighty years didn’t leave the slightest trace on his body, as if he were still that heroic and youthful swordsman on the Jianghu.
The heavens really were unfair, everyone else has already become old, everyone except Bu Qingyun, the one who started it all. Even this attitude of never having put him in his eyes was exactly the same. He was not surprised that Bu Qingyun hated Feng Xie. Based on his shixiong’s pride, he naturally wanted to kill this villain with his own hands. But he never thought that even now, he still didn’t exist in Bu Qingyun’s eyes.
So, he decided to remind this person, “Shixiong, do you really have nothing to say to me?”
Seeing that he was determined to obstruct him, He Ku finally moved his focus away from He Huan. His heart only felt cold, thus he icily said, “What’s there to say? You know what you did best that year. You clearly saw Feng Xie break into the sect, why did you not clarify the truth of what happened?”
That year, only Bu Yaolian knew the truth and he was Qing Xuzi’s second disciple. As long as he came out and explained, Xuanmen would believe that Bu Qingyun was accused unjustly. If he had explained, perhaps Bu Qingyun wouldn’t have been so desperate and fallen onto the demonic path.
But, he hadn’t.
Facing this question, Bu Yaolian was calm, he said, “That time, I suffered from severe injuries and was in a coma. When I awoke, you had already joined the demonic faction, even if I had told the truth of that event, it would only cause our Shizun more pain. In that case, I might as well not say anything.”
What a ‘I might as well not say anything’, so it turned out that the past that He Huan used eighty years to come to peace with, was such a triviality in his mouth. This person concealed the truth, inherited Bu Qingyun’s everything, and enjoyed the glory that was supposed to belong to Bu Qingyun. These past eighty years, He Huan never stepped up to criticize him, but Bu Yaolian actually felt no guilt at all?
He Ku genuinely believed that he had never wanted to be Bu Qingyun, but at this time, an inexplicable fire rose in his heart. He glared at this person and said, “Fine, then I ask you, the Jianghu says it was He Huan that injured the two sisters from the Yue family, but ever since Bu Qingyun joined the demonic faction, not once did he leave the Barren Mountain. The only person who could imitate Bu Qingyun’s swordsmanship so flawlessly is you!”
“Shixiong, you’re angry, you’re finally angry with me. All these years, you’ve never shown any interest in me, even in my dreams, you’ve never reprimanded me. I originally thought you really cared about nothing except the world. So it turns out, even you can feel anger.”
He Ku didn’t expect that he would be like this, that he would reveal an ecstatic expression instead. Without waiting for He Ku to react, a crazed glint flashed through his eyes as he said, “Xuanmen cutting off all connection to you was the best response at the time. When those two girls wanted to go to the Barren Mountain to bring you back, it was me who made them return. And I believe that if you were in my position, you would have done the same. Since you’ve asked, then I will tell you everything. Had I been willing, as long as I had exploded my Nascent Soul at YueJian Valley, then I could have rescued Lin Xuan from the Palace of Bliss and stopped the Demonic Extermination Campaign. But I.. wasn’t willing to do that.”
The moment his last sentence came out, He Ku started to regret his decision. This was because, right then, the man in red at the center of the lake who had been ignoring the world finally opened his eyes. With all of his demonic energy sealed by the Fallen Immortal Lake, and as a roaming soul, there was nothing he could do except silently watch the two opposing people.
He Ku knew that He Huan wouldn’t want to hear these words, so he immediately raised his sword towards the man in front of him and stabbed forwards, hoping to interrupt this depressing conversation. “Shut up, I don’t want to hear it.”
Yet he completely underestimated this person’s craziness. He watched as Bu Yaolian also unsheathed his sword to block the attack while he continued to shout, “I want to say it! I’ve waited eighty years for you, why can’t I say it?!”
“That day, when Feng Xie invaded, I fought with my life outside your door to protect you. I even blew up my golden core in hopes that it would delay him some more, but when I awoke, everyone was lamenting your expulsion, not a single person saw me. Did you know? All of my cultivation was wasted, my life was nearly gone, and all they asked me was why you qi-deviated. They treated you with the utmost care. As for me, all I ever got was a sentence telling me to ‘rest well’ or ‘don’t feel sad for your shixiong’.”
He Ku’s sword intent froze, the despair accompanying the memory of him stabbing his shidi in the heart seemed to have flowed back into his body from his palm. His current level of cultivation was inferior to Bu Yaolian’s, in this moment of hesitation, the other stepped in and threw a palm attack. He Ku used his muscle memory and held his sword horizontally to block it, but he was still forced backwards several steps. He raised his head only to see that person standing in front of the Fallen Immortal Lake, his expression one of excitement from finally getting the chance to release everything he had suppressed.
“Shizun took pity on me for getting so injured for you and also nearly getting dishonored and gave me the position of Xuanmen’s da-shixiong. At that time I thought, if you had still been here, if our shizun knew that Feng Xie caused everything, then even if you had already entered the demonic path, this position would probably never fall to me. I even thought, if our shizun knew, he would blame me for not protecting you. This was so from when we were young, you were the heir shizun personally brought back to raise at Xuanmen whereas I was just a child he purchased from down the mountain to accompany you. You were smarter than me, you were more talented than me, you knew how to make people like you. Each day you stayed in Xuanmen would be one more day I lived in your shadow, nobody would notice me.”
Silently watching him, He Ku wanted to say that Bu Qingyun really didn’t have any heaven-defying talent. His only advantage was that he had lived an extra eighteen years, he just..let go of everything to pursue the heavenly dao. In the end, he just slowly sighed and said, “Bu Qingyun didn’t necessarily live a better life than you.”
“Around that time, you already entered the demonic path, even if you returned to the sect, you would be a mark of shame. With your personality, naturally, you would have preferred to stay on the demonic path to kill evildoers and carry out justice, to continue to pursue your goal of world peace. Since that was the case, I would do my best to help you.”
Although he replied scoffingly, the sorrow in He Ku’s voice made Bu Yaolian hesitate. All of this has weighed on his heart for the past eighty years, when he first heard that Bu Qingyun had returned, he felt an instance of panic before it melted into relief. It was time to air out everything, the grievances between them, all of it will be resolved today.
Grasping his QingLian Sword tightly, he finally laid everything out in front of his shixiong, not leaving out anything.
“When you were in closed door cultivation, I exploded my golden core and destroyed my cultivation to protect you; when you joined the demonic faction, I led our disciples into an eighty year long seclusion from the Jianghu; when you encountered trouble, I rushed over at the first moment to stop the battle of righteous and demonic.. for our childhood friendship, I’ve already done the utmost duty.
“Shixiong, you were the one who qi-deviated, you were the one who fell to the demonic path, you were also the one who captured Lin Xuan and made the Three Great Sects your enemy. Nobody forced you to do any of this, I just..don’t want to keep sacrificing myself to help clean up after you anymore.”
He Ku carefully appraised him, this was the person who appeared the most frequently in Bu Qingyun’s memories, but was also the person who he most didn’t want to reminisce about. They once spent every waking moment together, were once genuine kindred spirits, and had once thought that they would be life-long brothers. But why is the Bu Yaolian in front of him so unfamiliar?
The month in which Bu Qingyun was hunted down, not once did he suspect Bu Yaolian. He thought that since Xuanmen still hasn’t released any news, it was likely that Bu Yaolian had passed away. With the thought of avenging his shidi, he exploded his golden core and single handedly carved a path of blood to the Palace of Bliss, all of his cultivation burned away. It was exactly because of this that when news of Bu Yaolian’s ascension to the position of da-shixiong traveled to the Palace of Bliss, he only felt a deep despair.
No one knows that the current strongest demonic cultivator, He Huan, when he had first joined the demonic faction, had Xiu Niang drug him until his consciousness was practically nonexistent in order to not affect the Technique of Bliss. That first year, except for when he was fighting or killing people, there was not a single moment he spent that was clear minded.
It was only when he found his dao heart again in the midst of killing demonic cultivators that his days of darkness finally came to an end. In truth, Bu Qingyun wasn’t so great as to cast himself into the pits of hell to save the world, he just.. grasped onto that far away aspiration in order to stay alive in that hell.
He Huan didn’t mention this to anyone, only He Ku, who was one with him, knew. At this time, looking at this person who knew nothing, his heart was ice cold. He didn’t know if these were his own feelings or if this chill came from He Huan’s heart, he just wanted to make this person in front of him sad for a moment, so that at least he would feel that He Huan’s silence all these years was worth it.
Therefore, he raised his eyes and let Bu Yaolian clearly see the chill in his eyes. “Have you ever thought that the person you think is not worth protecting with your life was the only person in the world who was willing to protect you with his life?”
In that instance, he saw the turbulent waves in the man’s eyes. In the end, Bu Yaolian had such a strong friendship with Bu Qingyun that he was willing to explode his golden core for him. He could find countless reasons for himself to rationalize all of this, but he couldn’t deceive his heart. If not, then he wouldn’t have been so crazy after seeing Bu Qingyun today. And, at the end of the day, he won’t be able to ask his soul and come away with no regrets.
He Ku knew that this person’s dao heart has long since collapsed in his endless self-torture, all that was left was for him to just say everything and his dao will be completely destroyed, never to ascend. However, he did not have this chance because He Huan, who had been silent, finally spoke up. He smiled as usual, and slowly shook his head at his other self.
“You’re wrong, Bu Qingyun was willing to die for others and that is his choice. The world isn’t a place where you must reciprocate the feelings of others. How can there be so many life and death companions in the world, willing to die for each other? The disaster Bu Qingyun created can only be borne by himself no matter how difficult it is, there was no reason he could blame anyone else.”
He Ku already knew what he was going to say, He Huan would not trust anyone except himself ever again, and he had already chosen to bury the past. However, Bu Yaolian didn’t know that the demonic cultivator who was sealed in the middle of the lake at this time was the real Bu Qingyun who grew up with him, and he only said angrily, “I’m talking to my shixiong, what does it have to do with you, villain? After I’m done with him, I will kill you with my own hands!”
Looking at him indifferently, He Huan’s expression did not change and just chuckled, “Yes, there is nothing between the two of us.”
With this sentence, Bu Qingyun’s misplaced trust all these years, him changing his name, remaining in the Palace of Bliss, and the pain of never being able to trust anyone in this world disappeared. Everything was written off, together with that beautiful morning light when two young boys stepped into Xuanmen for the first time hand in hand.
He Ku knows what He Huan means, they both don’t want to be Bu Qingyun anymore, so they won’t review Bu Qingyun’s relationships. As for Bu Yaolian, they’ll just take it as having never met him.
With the ending of their relationship to Bu Yaolian, Bu Qingyun’s everything has come to an end. But, he didn’t come here today for this.
Finally abandoning all distracting thoughts, He Ku held the CaiYun Sword tightly, and looked forward without any hesitation. “What if I said, I want to save him?”
Seeing him like this, Bu Yaolian’s revealed a confused expression for the first time. He looked at the white-robed young man who seemed slightly different from the past and asked, “Bu Qingyun, have you gone insane?”
“Bu Qingyun has already disappeared from this world a long time ago and he will not return. From here on, you won’t ever have to involve yourself with Bu Qingyun, he has me now. And I.. will use my life to protect him.”
He Ku knows that Bu Yaolian wouldn’t understand what he was saying, but he also was not saying these words to him. As long as that person understands, then that was enough.
Seeing that the calm smile on He Huan’s face suddenly shattered after these words, He Ku knew that he understood. Therefore, he concentrated all of his sword intent on his sword and charged forward bravely. “Even if I am made the enemy of the entire Xuanmen Righteous Sect today, I will definitely take He Huan away! Let’s fight, Xuanmen’s da-shixiong!”
End of Chapter 42
The author has something to say:
In actuality, the saddest thing in the world is when you take the other for a life and death friend, when in the other’s eyes you are just an ordinary friend.