Chapter 342
As expected, she seemed to understand what I meant. As a wise woman, she didn’t mention anything about the matter, and she never visited me again for personal reasons after that day.
Those who didn’t know the situation blamed her for failing to see me at all, citing our long friendship since our childhood days, but I knew she didn’t visit me again, considering my position.
So, I wondered why she called me personally. Definitely this was not the way she acted towards me typically.
Doubting her intentions with curiosity, I entered the meeting room of the empress’s palace. A little later she came in, wearing a formal dress embroidered with the royal family’s crest as if she worked in the morning.
I felt bitter when I saw the jeweled tiara in her silver hair, but I showed due manners by smiling at her as I was seeing her after a long time. Although I didn’t feel good, once was enough of me having burdened her when I saw her the last time.
“I, Casein de Lars, am honored to see Your Highness, the Moon of the empire.”
“It’s been a long time, Carsein. How are you?”
“Well, nothing special. I guess you must have been busier than me. ”
When I answered brightly on purpose, she paused for a moment and said with a slight smile, “You bet. The next thing I knew, time passed so quickly. So, I asked me to see you because I wanted to apologize for our drifting apart until now, and I wanted to see you off as you would be on a long journey soon. Thanks for coming, Carsein. ”
“You’re welcome. Of course, no matter what, I should duly come when you want to see me.”
Although I smiled when she was talking to me, I was still curious. It seemed she clearly called me because she felt sorry if she didn’t see me off, but I thought that’s not the only reason she called me. As far as I knew, she was considerate of others’ feelings all the time.
Did something happen to her?
I looked at her as if to observe her because I suddenly recalled something, but I could not find anything unusual about her. Besides, she looked in the best condition that I had ever seen her, except for her feeling awkward about seeing me after a long time. Even though I heard rumors that she got along with the emperor, I was worried deep down that she might have gotten married to him against her will or she was unhappy with him because she was always reluctant to meet him before their marriage. But my misgivings seemed to be groundless.
When I tried to say something, thinking that I was overly sensitive, I heard a maid knocking on the door. She put down a teapot, teacups, and a tea box on the table. She remained silent until then. When the maid went out after bowing politely, she pulled the teabox to her. I just kept silent while she was brewing tea sincerely. I didn’t want to disturb her while she was at it.
When I saw her preparing tea carefully, I was reminded of my old memories one by one.
Sometimes we were happy, and sometimes we were sad. Even those hard, angry, and painful memories we had together were good old memories now.
While reminiscing with bitterness, I suddenly stopped. When I did so in the past, I was heartbroken all the time, but I didn’t feel that much today.
Why?
The moment I slipped into a pensive mood, she gave me a silver teacup silently after brewing strong red hibiscus tea.
I smiled brightly at her, holding the cup engraved with the crest of the roaring golden lion.
“Oh, I get to enjoy the tea you have brewed after such a long time. Thank you, Your Highness. It’s my honor to get this tea.”historical
“You’re welcome. I’m flattered by your compliment.”
“Well, even though I had a friendship with you in the past, I don’t think there are many who can drink the tea you make in person. I am just grateful to you for the simple fact that you have not forgotten our erstwhile friendship.”
“Really?”
“Of course.”
I felt her voice was trembling at the moment, but I nodded casually, pretending not to have noticed it. Watching me silently for a moment, she finally said in a subdued voice.
“..Thanks, Carsein. ”
“You’re welcome. By the way, you must feel sorry that your father will be away from the capital for a long time.”
“Well, I don’t want to deny that. Even now I don’t see him as often as before.. Being in the capital is one thing, staying away from it is another. Besides, I’m bothered by the fact that he will be in the Lisa kingdom.”
“Well, I understand that, but he is going there to inspect the border areas and put the finishing touches on the details of the treaty. So, don’t worry too much. I will serve him well while he is staying there.”
When I spoke confidently, she paused for a moment, then lifted the mug quietly and drank the ruby-colored ??tea. Then, she put the cup down noisily, which was unusual.
“Yes, I hope he is in great hands, Carsein. And please come back safely.. by all means.”
Ugh?
I looked at her because I felt strange about what she just said. Why did she ask me to come back by all means? I thought she was worried too much as he and I were visiting there as part of the delegation because the Lisa kingdom was hostile to the empire. In that respect, I felt like she spoke to me as if I was going to a place where I would die. She was going to see me again anyway later, but why was she so worried?
Ah..
I unwittingly groaned because something flashed my mind suddenly. Was it because of that guy? Was she worried that I might not come back like Allendis who disappeared after leaving for the Lua kingdom?
Only then did I realize why she called me. I felt strange the moment she called me unusually, and now I understand why she did. Although she called me because she was worried about me, she could not say what she wanted to because she asked to see me without caring about my feelings.
When I remembered my last conversation with Allendis, a bitter smile came to my lips, but I hurriedly smiled at her and said calmly, “Your Highness.”
“Yes.”
“If you are bothered by what happened in the past, you don’t have to care about it.”
“..”
Her hand, which was holding the cup, trembled. Pretending that I didn’t notice it, I turned my head and looked at her golden eyes. Then, with my utmost sincerity, I emphasized what I pledged all along, “Honestly, I can’t tell you that I’m okay yet..But I feel better than before, and I think I’ll be a lot better in the future. Please don’t worry about it anymore.”
Who said one’s words had a hypnotic effect?
I only spoke out the pledge that I had made deep down, but I felt it was a load off my mind now. I didn’t say things I didn’t mean to set her at ease, but I felt I could really get a weight off my mind. So I spoke with a smile, feeling much more comfortable than before, “When I come back, I will come to think of you only in terms of friendship. So don’t worry, please wait a little longer. ”
“..Yes, I will, Carsein. Thank you very much.”
A smile came to her face when she looked at me with tearful eyes. Watching her feeling so relieved as if she took the heavy load off her mind, I suddenly came to realize one thing belatedly.
‘Oh, it’s because of her attitude like that.’
The reason that I felt less heartbroken while thinking about her was because she felt relieved towards me. In fact, She felt oppressed by the weight of life all the time, so she looked weary and down all the time. But she looked much more comfortable and relaxed as if a heavy load was off her mind. She now looked as bright and happy as she was in the golden field from a long time ago.
And I felt less heartbroken, too.
Smiling back at her, I thought to myself that I was so relieved to see her happy now. I thought there would come a day when I would restore our genuine friendship, and I vowed to make it happen by all means.
Lifting the mug silently, I signaled to her with my eyes to wait for me a little longer until then.