Chapter 87 – Feelings Made Known

When Pel looked at her, he put his head down and closed his eyes. Exhaustion had settled in.

“I know you must be tired from today, Pel. You haven’t gotten on my nerves just yet, so just go inside and rest.”

“And don’t talk like that. It doesn’t look good coming from you.”

When Pel opened his eyes again, she was looking at him with a slightly worried look and her arms folded. He could feel her gaze burning holes directly into his soul.

“You haven’t given me an answer.” His voice was stilted as he tried to suppress his emotions.

“About what? Oh, do you want to hear that?” Levisia tilted her head like she was thinking hard about something.

Pel’s eyes slowly grew wider. It was as if time had stopped when she gave the unexpected reply.

“What do you mean..?” He said, searching Levisia’s face for an answer.

Levisia seemed to shrink in on herself as she held her arms tight around her chest. Her silver hair was blowing gently in the breeze.

Pel’s lips quivered for a while, then he spoke. “Then today, when you were waiting here..” Pel asked, his lips quivering like he was afraid of hearing her reply.historical

“I mean, don’t come so late. I didn’t think you’d come at all.” Levisia’s gaze dropped to the ground as she kicked at the dirt. “I always knew that this day would come. The day when you leave my side without saying a single word.”

“What? No, I..” Pel stumbled over his words. Levisia had seen everything about him. The wig he used to conceal his identity, the way he overreacted to certain things, and a few days where he conspicuously avoided her. Not to mention how she went out of her way to protect him from the Kraidens.

What else did Levisia know about him? The fact that he was simply hiding something? To cover it all up?

“I know it sounds incredibly selfish,” Levisia said, shrugging her shoulders. She took a step next to Pel, her hair swaying down her back. “But we can discuss this another time. You must be tired. We should go inside before it starts getting too cold for either of us.”

“So, does that mean you don’t have any feelings for me.” Pel tried his best to hide his crushed feelings, but the look on his face must have given him away as Levisia had closed the distance between them. Her mouth opened and closed like she was trying to come up with something to say.

Pel knew that it seemed to be an extension of his confession that wasn’t really a confession. Levisia was silent as he continued talking in a hushed tone of voice. “I know I have a strong sense of pride, the sort that could easily be my downfall. But know that I am speaking from my heart now.”

“What―” Levisia’s eyes widened as Pel carefully reached out to rest his hand on top of hers.

“I admit I do not know or understand where these feelings have come from, or how I am supposed to deal with them. But I do, I care about you, and I miss having you around.” Pel began to rub his thumb over her knuckles. “I do not expect you to reciprocate my feelings towards you. There’s no need for you to respond tonight. Or, ever, if that is how you feel.”

“I.. I see. Well, thank you, I guess. Truth be told, my thoughts are at conflict with each other. Years of living with my enemies and bowing to them has taught me to become accustomed to deceit.” Levisia briefly squeezed Pel’s hand and then pulled away. As she turned away from him, the moonlight danced in her hair. “I will have to take some time to think this through. Your intentions do seem true, but I will need to convince myself of this. Come now, it’s late, and the night is going to get colder. We should go inside now.”

Pel did not miss the faint smile on her lips, nor the soft laughter as she led him towards the palace. There was no way to tell what was going on inside her mind. It was true that she would need to take the time to see the truth behind his words and come to her own conclusion. All he knew is that he would accept whatever decision she made.

“Oh, and Levisia?” Pel called out after her.

Levisia stopped and glanced over her shoulder. Pel made a gesture around his neck, miming the necklace that the Kraidens now had in their possession. She gave a brief nod and carried on walking. Pel took that to mean that the necklace was safely stored somewhere within the palace.