Chapter 188
“Haa.”
Edgar’s passion burned so hotly that it was about to burn his whole body. He wanted to bring Rubica to the bed right now.
But sadly, he was an amateur at it. Her arm touching his chest was enough to make his mind go blank, and he didn’t know what to do next.
He feared his lack of skills might hurt her. For now, hugging her tightly and kissing her was all he could do.
‘It’s not like I can go somewhere and learn about it.’
He was good at learning. He was confident he could excel at anything more than anyone as long as he was taught a few lessons. However, even he had to be clumsy at first. Plus, this wasn’t the kind of thing he could practice.
“Um, Edgar. I’m sorry.”
Moreover, she was an amateur as well, but at least she realized why he was sighing thanks to all those years she had lived.
Still, she also was an amateur. Even sharing a kiss melted her, so she couldn’t even dream of seducing him.
“Why are you sorry? Don’t apologize.”
He wanted to shout he rather thanked her for that. He could only barely manage not to.
Rubica stared at him as he ruffled his hair. He often did that when he scolded himself.
“Um, Edgar.”
People were always saying that what should happen will eventually happen when the mood was right, even without any agreement in advance, but it seemed like it was not going to happen to these two amateurs.
It was really embarrassing, but Rubica decided to talk honestly about it.
“It’s, um, now that we’ve decided to be together forever...”
How was she supposed to say it? When they first met, she didn’t hesitate to say there would be no sexual intercourse when discussing the terms of their marriage, but now she couldn’t easily talk about it.
She rolled her tongue in her mouth for a long, long time. Then, she managed to say it indirectly.
“We will have to have a child, right?”
Edgar’s face almost never changed color, even when he was very embarrassed. But now, he looked like a turnip. Moreover, Rubica had turned into a turnip ever since she called his name.
The two turnips looked away from each other and couldn’t say anything for some time.
“I guess... so?”
Edgar finally managed to find the courage and spoke. He made his wife speak about it first, and it hurt his pride quite a lot. He didn’t want to further embarrass Rubica, especially about this matter. He was supposed to lead like a man, so why was he acting like that?
“And you don’t have any experience either, and don’t know much about it...”
“What?”
He looked up in shock.
“How did you find that out?”
He tried to look skilled, but she had also mistaken him as a womanizer, at least at first.
As she didn’t have any experience either, she hadn’t been able to tell if his kisses were that of a professional or an amateur.
“How did I know? Well, you just look like...”
However, judging from how he had been behaving after that, contrary to the rumors, he hadn’t had any kind of relationship with a woman until he met her. It didn’t seem possible for such a perfect man, but sometimes reality can exceed your imagination.
“Yes, you are right. I have no experience, and I do not know much about it.”
Edgar honestly admitted it. The first thing you should do is to learn to be humble and admit your ignorance.
“Oh, um, I don’t have any experience either, but I heard the first time hurts a lot.”
“Okay.”
Edgar really hated saying nothing more than ‘okay’, but he just didn’t know what to say to her at that point.
He was just too honest to say things like, ‘Don’t worry, I will make sure it doesn’t give you any pain.’ Of course, that honesty of his only applied to Rubica.
“I do not know about a man’s first time, so I don’t know what I should do about it.”
Edgar blobbed like a fish at Rubica’s worry. A man’s first time? He didn’t know about that either. There were many writings about a woman’s first time, but not so much about a man’s first time.
“Don’t worry about it.”
He carefully took her hand. He was grateful that she decided to stay with him. He even almost said it was okay for him to never do it if it will be so painful to her.
“It would be the first time for both of us, so let’s not rush. We should take our time.”
Edgar had been leaving the room after she fell asleep lately. Everyone already knew they were not just close but burning with love.
Ann was hopeful that Rubica might get pregnant soon, so she kept delaying the news about the fake miscarriage.
Rubica could feel the pressure, so she guessed Edgar had to be enduring it as well.
However, he was so shocked to hear that and couldn’t say anything for some time. Then, he muttered a question.
“So... you want to do it with me?”
Rubica’s face was now redder than a turnip and looked like a burning sweet potato. She looked down, very embarrassed.
She wanted to pout at him, accuse him if he didn’t want it, but the passion he had in his eyes as he looked at her had been even stronger lately.
Sometimes, when having dinner at the dining hall, she wished she could shout at him to not give her such a seducing gaze.
“Of... course.”
She replied in a small voice that could be barely heard. A second later, her world went upside down. She was now looking up at the canopy on the top of the bed.
Soon Edgar’s heavy body pressed on her. He grabbed her face and whispered just before he kissed her deeply.
“You’re a devil.”
She could see his red lips and white teeth under the yellow candlelight. His lips were wet because of none other than her own lips.
Rubica wanted to say he had to be an incubus sent by the gods to seduce her, but she couldn’t.
His lips touched her collarbone. What was happening? Her brain refused to process it. Her collarbone felt burning hot and she started to breathe heavily.
The pair of lips started to go down slowly.
Her body froze with tension. Without realizing it, she grabbed his shoulders. It made the lips stop.
The sound of their breathing filled the silence. Rubica wanted him to stop. At the same time, she wanted him to proceed. The two thoughts fought in her mind.
historical
In that tension, she could feel his lips on her delicate skin.
‘So warm.’
His lips and hands were so unskilled at what they were doing, but they moved with affection. She thought she could do it as long as it was him. But at the same time, she was afraid. That made her lips shut tightly.
“Rubica.”
He slowly removed his lips. Then, he came up to gently kiss her forehead.
“Were you afraid?”
“No.”
“You’re lying.”
He smiled as he stroked her lips. His smile looked bitter, but it was so beautiful.
“I can read it on your face.”
He was right. She had felt her body relaxing when his lips went away.
It was what more than half of the people experienced once in their lives, so why was she so scared? Instead of waiting for her answer, Edgar embraced her with his long arms.
“I will take time, as we promised.”
Then, he kissed her forehead again, but she felt strangely disappointed. She was scared to do it, but she was disappointed at not doing it. What was she supposed to do? Why was she doing that? She didn’t know.
“I’m the one who’s disappointed.”
Edgar whispered to her ear, reading her thought. Rubica didn’t know if he was just saying that or complaining, so she was uncertain about how to reply.
They thought saying ‘I love you’ would instantly bring them a happy ending, but it turned out it had just been crossing a huge mountain called ‘the start’.
Thankfully, they had already crossed the most important mountain called ‘marriage’. The problem was that they were not crossing even one of the many small hills in the middle.
“Edgar, I...”
“Shh, it’s okay.”
Edgar stroked her back. How could he say it was okay? He didn’t know what she was trying to say. She didn’t even know what she wanted to say...
Rubica felt a little strange as she looked up at him. Even lying on the bed, she had to tilt her head up to look at him as he was much taller than she was.
He was supporting his head with an arm, and he looked very relaxed. It was hard to believe he was the same person as the man who had been passionately kissing her.
Really, he looked so used to this that it was hard to believe he had zero experience.
“No, you’re wrong. How many times do I have to tell you?”
Edgar whispered so and it surprised Rubica a lot.
“You read my mind?”
“No, I read it on your face.”
He lightly tapped her nose. Rubica was slightly confused, but she was sure she could control her expression according to the occasion. She knew when to shut up and when to smile.
But then, why is it that her every emotion could be seen plainly on her face when she was with him?