Chapter 362 - Can You Carry The Weight Of The Crown?

"Alright, since everyone had settled, let's all delve into important matters." I clapped, catching everyone's attention. My eyes traveled across the room, making sure I got all their attention.

My gaze lingered a bit longer at Yul. "We need to change plans. But before I propose the plan I had in mind, I want to apologize to all of you."

Silence dawned on us as they looked at me with confusion. There were a lot of things I had to apologize for, and I didn't know where to start.. However, I had to get through this — we have to get through all this.

"To win against Stefan, I know I had been copying their vicious methods of doing things. I had no excuse for that, nor I am remorseful about doing so." I paused, clasping my hand, but then loosened my grip as my shoulders relaxed. "I had believed that fighting them in their own game was the best method; it was one of the methods, but is not the best."

"Our original plan was to depose the king and sit a deserving one. You all know that I planned to take the throne for myself... I didn't." I continued, studying their grim expression upon my confession. "I had been exchanging letters with Marquess Cameron. Having the throne for myself is never my plan and even if it was, it won't happen. So, I told Marquess Cameron about it."

"By 'even if you want, it won't happen,' what do you mean by that?" asked Yul in a solemn tone. I knew that tone. He was simply wanting to confirm his guesses.

"Heliot." I cleared my throat, taking a step forward as I planted my palms on the edge of the table. "I had a trade with Heliot. He will support my plans and supply me with everything that I need in exchange for... my life."

I heard a gulp from someone as the light atmosphere gradually turned heavy. Yul let out a faint scoff while the rest had this conflicted and disapproved look in their eyes.

"I never recovered from Sam's death. I will never be. It was selfish and I understand if you are all disappointed in me. However, living day by day, telling myself the pain will pass and time will heal the wounds, is more enervating than looking forward to my death. So, I came to this decision and kept you all in the dark." I continued, chuckling bitterly. "So, I'm sorry for that."

"When you said you want to live..." Ramin voiced out, clearing his throat. "You mean it, right?"

"My husband and his confidante are alive." I shrugged, finding it ridiculous how 'shallow' my reasoning was. "It might be too late to change the plans we had been working on for the past eight months for something so shallow. However, I ask all of you to trust me again... to do this properly together."

"Lilou," Silvia crooned, smiling gently at me. "It's not shallow, and we have no right to question you for thinking like that. Among all of us, you are the one who was in the most pain, and yet, you stood up and put us all behind you to protect us."

"It was saddening and selfish, but how dare we hate you for seeking your own peace?" Noah chimed in, making me look at him to see his understanding smile.

"It's still unfair, though," Charlotte commented with a pout.

"It's unfair, but we all know that you've built Grimsbanne to greatness so it can shelter us all." Kristina sighed, casting everyone a glance. "How can we blame you and feel disappointed when all you think is keeping us all safe, and providing us a place we can call home before delivering yourself to death?"

"We had prepared for eight months. Although four months is a short time, I know we can all figure that out." Ramin nodded, gazing down on his spread finger before clenching them.

"I'll always be with you, Your Grace. Whatever decision you make, I, we, will respect it. We're already glad that you fought for us until now." Klaus voiced out, exchanging nods with the rest as if he forgot he nearly clashed with Kristina.

A subtle smile resurfaced on my lips as I looked at them, looking back at me with the same subtle smile. How could I not see how they all protected my back?

"Thank you," I gazed down, biting my lower lip. I knew they were smiling because, for the first time in a long time, I felt vulnerable.

"My goodness. My wife makes me so proud. I never made my people obey me like this." Sam sighed dejectedly.

"That is because you just do whatever you want, Your Grace," Rufus answered him, causing the former to scoff in dismay.

"But my wife also did what she wants! Everyone in this room didn't know my wife's suicide mission!"

"Even so, Her Grace had made her intentions clear. Your intentions are never clear. They're suspicious, brother." Klaus clicked his tongue, gazing at Sam with disdain.

"I'm never good at leadership." Sam frowned, casting Rufus and Fabian a look. "How can I make you two obey me without pressing my nerves?"

Fabian smiled until his eyes squinted. "Don't worry, my lord. I will always be loyal to you."

"Fabian, that's the scariest part. I said obey me without pressing my nerves, not be just loyal to me."

"I'm also loyal to you, my lord." Rufus sported a smile that didn't reach his ears.

"What will I do to get you two off of my back?" Sam grumbled before setting his eyes back to me. His expression instantly brightened as he locked eyes with me, cupping his cheek.

"So, my wife, since you're the one calling the shots now, what's our new plan?" Sam inquired, and everyone's eyes were back on me. "Do you still have to fulfill your deal with Stefan?"

"Yes."

"What?" I could see the confusion in their eyes as Sam frowned. The only ones who didn't react strongly were Rufus, Klaus, and Yul.

"I had to," I said, taking a deep breath as my eyes sharpened, gazing at every single one of them. "We had to change our plan, but not entirely. The will of our clan wants to put things back in their rightful place."

Silence ensued as their brows knitted. My eyes slowly veered to Rufus, noticing the puzzlement in his eyes as he tilted his head.

"Can you carry the weight of the crown?" I asked solemnly. "Rufus?"historical