Chapter 399 - [Bonus ]Feels Like Deja Vu

"Keep the child; That is what's happening."

Samael didn't understand her vague explanation. Wouldn't she let go of this conversation? Lilou was awake, albeit unresponsive.

Taking notice of his confusion, Beatrice let out a sigh. "I don't know the reason, but what I knew is she is keeping herself half-awake by instinct."

"Half-awake? Why? Can't she completely wake up?"

"It's not that." She shook her head, gazing at Lilou's eyes. "Maybe there's a reason she doesn't want to wake up just yet. She hurt herself because of the voices, so that's the only logical conclusion I had."

"As for why she was keeping herself half-awake, maybe she had heard you." She continued as she shifted her eyes back to Samael. "She didn't want you to kill your child, Hell. You can take my words with a pinch of salt, but you know her more than I do."

They shared a moment of silence as they stared at each other. Beatrice took a deep breath and curtsied, excusing herself to give him some space.

"I hope you can decide properly, Your Grace," she wished when she was by the door before leaving him alone.

Samael didn't look back at her as he stared at Lilou. She still had her eyes opened, but she was only looking in one direction.

"Why?" he asked under his breath as he hung his head low while holding her hand. "Is he more important than me? Why would you choose someone you hadn't even met yet?"

His questions were stupid, and he was aware of that. Still, he only had more stupid questions to ask her.

"Lilou, my love, why do we have to do this?" a whisper slipped past his lips. "Why do I have to choose which one of you I should kill?"

Others had worded it as saving either of them, but to him, it was killing one of them. He wanted to choose both, but his options had their own limits. With Lilou's current condition, it restricted Samael to choose other options.

Karma. His beloved was now paying for the sins he had committed from the past until now.

Retribution. This was his retribution.

*******

Days had gone by in a blink of an eye and it was already a month since then. Lilou would still open her eyes and stare blankly. Even when she was all healed, she was never fully conscious. Samael had taken care of her from bathing to dressing, combing her hair, and massaging her body to ease the stiffness.

He never left her.

Reading her stories that she liked to read and talking to her all day until the night. The world outside the room they were in didn't matter to him. He just shut the world off and created his own with his wife on it.

and yet, she hadn't woken up.

"And then..." Samael paused as he placed the book down his lap, cocking his head to her. "... this story is bullshit. Why do you like these sorts of stories so much?"

Both of them sat on the bed with their back against the headboard. It was not that Lilou was paralyzed; she was just unresponsive. So he would constantly sit her so she wouldn't just lie on the bed all day long.

He pressed his lips together and sighed, peeling his eyes away from her. "Yul had been throwing a huge fit the other day since he wants to see you. I nearly killed him, if not for Rufus. Won't you get mad about that?"

"Well, let's see. Rufus had been busy settling the matters in here, Fabian went on an adventure with Charlie, Noah finally returned to his estate, Cameron sent me a letter once telling me he would visit." He paused, thinking of the things that would probably pique Lilou's interest. "We still haven't found Stefan — that useless Beatrice didn't know either since all she shared with Alphonse is her body. And..."

Samael gazed back at her. His eyes fell on her growing stomach, which brought a mix of bitterness and joy to his heart.

"Our child is growing." He planted his palm on her stomach, stroking it with his thumb. "His mother is protecting him well, so he is growing healthy."

"You will be a great mother, my wife."

During the past month, Lilou had suffered from pain twice as the child in her womb was feeding on her blood. To ease the pain of his wife and quench the hunger of their child, Samael forced his blood into her system. After two incidents, he dosed her with the right amount of blood daily.

"We're doing a good job... I guess." He smiled, closed-lipped, patting her head lightly. "I will do everything I can to protect you and our child. Just hang in there."

historical

Samael leaned forward and planted a kiss on her temple. "I will not choose between you and our child. I will keep you both safe. That's a promise."

*******

For a long time, I was trapped in a pit of darkness with the company of the voices in my head. Although I couldn't see them, I could hear their murmuring. They were close and I could feel their gazes on me.

"Will you get out of here?" I asked out of annoyance, staring into the darkness. "I'm not waking up."

"This child is so stubborn."

"She is a Bloodfang, after all."

"A Bloodfang prioritizes the clan's will. This is because she has a Crawford in her blood."

"We had died for this child to live, but all she has is a sharp tongue."

"It's because that wench Lara had talked her out of this."

"Leave the child alone!"

"Hello? I can hear you?" I scoffed as their murmuring grew louder, spiting me right in front of my face. "Although I appreciate your honesty, what I had heard until now is there's no unity in this clan."

The voices were even worse than dinners with the La Crox. No wonder I nearly lost my mind, because they kept arguing inside my head! Some supported me, while the others were pressuring me to do what they wanted. Apparently, the latter group seemed to have more control over me.

That was why I didn't want to wake up.

I knew once I regain my consciousness, a different Lilou would take charge. Who knew what she would do once unleashed on the outside world.

"Shut your mouth, child! You should have listened to us! Just how many times will you disappoint us?"

"As long as you meddle with my life?" I cocked my head to the side and shrug.

"Tch! We shouldn't have involved that infuriating Samael into this. That corrupt had only corrupted her!" I smiled at this snide remark, thinking about Sam. My husband would take that as a compliment.

"Now, even their child is meddling with us."

"Huh?" my brows furrowed. "Our child...?"

"Have you forgotten? The child that is growing inside you is killing you."

"Don't listen to them, child. Your child is keeping you alive and sane."

"Keeping her alive? He is devouring her life away!"

Once again, the voices argued with their different opinions. No matter how loud they were, they soon faded into the background as I recalled the moments before losing my consciousness. Alphonse congratulated me on this news, but I didn't think it was true.

I instinctively touched my stomach, even though I knew this body wasn't real. "I'm pregnant...? With Sam's child?"

There were too many emotions that circled around my heart with this news. It scared me, but at the same time, gave me joy. I wondered what was Sam's reaction? He was probably...

My thoughts trailed off as a sudden realization struck me. Right now, I was unconscious in reality, stuck with these voices in my head. How could a pregnant woman stay on the bed with no one taking care of her? Our child was in danger.

"Sam!" I looked up and yelled, making the voices stop from arguing. "Sam!!!"

"Child, no matter how loud you --"

"Sam, my husband! I'm here! Can you hear me?" I ignored the voices. They had been so loud, so I thought I should add my own noise. Let us see who was the loudest in here.

"Husband! Can you please take care of me and our child?! I can't wake up right now because my clan wanted to spend more time with me!" I kept yelling until the voices stopped speaking and my voice filled this place. "Don't worry! I will return once I deal with them! I love you my husband~!"

"Pfft--!"

A voice burst out in laughter while I rolled my eyes. I couldn't see them, but it was not like I wanted to come face to face with them. Apparently, the more I disliked something to happen, it would happen as if life was playing tricks on me.

A second later, the darkness slowly had light, and I found myself sitting at a long dining table. My brows twitched as soon as I realized I could see them now. What a life!

"Do vampires have this habit of arguing during mealtime? There are so many places you guys can choose, but you showed up during what seemed to be in the middle of a feast," I commented in disbelief, scanning the long table to see that each seat was occupied.. "Feels like Deja Vu."