Was the thrill worth the punishment?

Lina had never realized how painful heartbreak would be. She felt every fiber in her body freeze, her chest aching and prickled, pain in her eyes, and her world shattered on the spot. It felt like taking the last gulp of air in the ocean and realizing death was near. It was as painful as walking through the desert with no shoes or shelter, with the unbearable sun on your backs.

Once a heart breaks, it can never heal. The heart will never be the same again. Piecing it back together might be possible, but there will always be tiny cracks. Always.

When Lina shamelessly walked through her family territory, she did it with a desolate stare. She dragged her feet all the way to the heavily armed entrance. The soldiers were baffled by the sight of her, blinking and muttering.

"Is that—"

"It really is—"

"She came here by herself?"

Lina ignored the voices of her family's men. She trudged through the doors without care. Her presence gave off everything they wanted her to be. Elegant. Arrogant. She walked like this entire mansion belonged to her.

When the servants saw her, they all stopped dead in their tracks. The maid sweeping the floor stared, the butler arranging the flowers halted, and everything slowed just for Lina.

"Someone inform the Patriarch."

"Is Young Master Medeor coming soon?"

"What should we do?"

Lina didn't stop for anyone. She did her walk of shame home. Now, she planned on going back to her room. She knew it would be impossible to pretend nothing happened. All of Ritan must've known the affair by now. Her eyes watered when she recalled how foolish she had been.

Lina was worried sick that Kaden was somewhere, tied up and punished, but in reality, he walked freely. Neither the Yangs nor the Medeor could touch him. Lina couldn't help but wonder, did they really do it? Did they really reach out to the Minister of National Defense to hurt Kaden?

"Lina."

Lina ignored the surprised voice of her father. She saw him at the end of the hallway, a wired phone in his hands. He blanched and blinked, rubbing at his eyes. Instantly, he spoke in a low voice to the phone, and placed it down.

"Lina, you've come home. Let me—"

Lina walked straight into her room and shut the doors behind her. She stared at the mess in front of her. Grandfather must've done it. The curtains were yanked and torn down, furniture overturned, the vanity smashed, her paintings and decorations in pieces on the floor, and everything was ruined. The only thing untouched was the bed.

Lina picked up the blankets from the floor and dragged it with her into bed. She buried her face into the pillow and finally, wept for her own mistakes. She shouldn't have trusted Kaden. She shouldn't have trusted anyone, but herself. She felt like the biggest fool of the century.

"Lina.."

Lina decided to ignore him. What was the family going to do to her now? Send her back to the asylum? Give her a harsher consequence? At this point, Lina couldn't be bothered to care anymore. Her extensive relatives were going to make a laughing stock out of her. Everywhere she went, people would laugh at her.

There was no redemption.

A man's reputation could always be restored, but a woman's could not. Lina would never be able to recover from this. Ever. She practically ruined her own life in trusting the wrong people. She realized she was the biggest idiot in all of Ritan.

"Young Miss?" Estella softly said, stopping right in front of the bed. She glanced at the smashed wood and porcelain on the ground, her lips tugging into a deeper frown. With a soft sigh, she settled a metal tray of food by the vanity, paired with utensils for Lina to eat with.

"The Patriarch did this," Estella continued when Lina didn't move from her curled up position.

Estella knew Lina was balled up into a child right now. As someone who's never had a childhood, this was how they cope. Estella bent and picked up a picture frame.

"He wrecked everything when he heard you escaped from the hospital," Estella murmured.

Lina quietly closed her eyes. Maybe if she slept for eternity, she could pretend it was all a bittersweet dream. That was it. This was just a nightmare. One day, she'd wake up and it would be her old life again, before she met Kaden, before everything went to shit.

"The Patriarch is coming soon, Young Miss. Young Master Altan is rushing here too," Estella whispered, lowering herself onto the bed. She softly patted the balled up blankets and felt Lina's silhouette.

"You should leave before the storm comes," Estella softly said. "Perhaps, there is a chance he will forgive you, but I saw the streets. There are many men being gathered as we speak. I don't know their plan, but it's not a good one."

"I want to be alone," Lina finally spoke up.

"I brought you food. Please eat it," Estella murmured. "I snuck it from the kitchen when I heard of your return. It's steak from last night, imported from foreign lands, but it will keep you full."

Steak?

Lina realized this could've been her last meal. Was that why Estella decided to drop all honorifics? Lina let out a shaky laughter at the truth.

"I-is the bathroom still working?"

"Yes, would you like me to draw you a bath? I can try to sneak materials out of the madam's room and—"

"No, just run the bath, please."

Estella was confused by this, but said nothing. She departed from the bed and headed for the bathroom, which was also ruined. Stepping over the broken glass, she reached the bathtub. A few months ago, they renovated the house to be more modern. Being the favorite child, Lina had the best room out of everyone in the family, including the enormous and expensive bathtub.

Estella ran a warm bath, one that'd make the blood flow, and hopefully, Lina would gain some common sense. Once the blood went to the brain, Lina would be aware of the situation.

When Estella came out of the bathroom, she saw Lina huddled in the bed. Blankets over her head, Lina quietly sliced the steak and vegetables.

"I will return with materials for you to run with," Estella murmured. "Please give me a moment."

"No need," Lina said, raising her head and offering the only smile she could muster. She hoped her lips wouldn't tremble, but it did.

"Thank you for all that you've done for me, Estella. You're one of my closest friends and because we'll never see each other again, I wish the best for your future and may all of your dreams come true," Lina confessed.

Estella was startled and confused by the abrupt words of kindness that felt like a long departure. Even still, Estella returned the smile, nodded her head, and bowed.

"Thank you Young Miss, it has been my utmost pleasure to serve you."

Looking back to this moment, Estella wished she knew these were the last words that the Young Miss would hear. Estella wished she knew, this was the last thing she said before everything went up in ashes.

When Estella left the room, Lina was left in her thoughts. She heard the running water and knew the bathtub would be almost full. Picking up the knife meant for the steak, she headed for the bathroom.

historical

When the Patriarch would discover her, there would be bloody water gushing to the ground, a lifeless body in the bathtub with sliced wrists, and a final smile of the one who lost the fight.

And when the sun rose in the morning, this part of both Yang and Medeor history would be no more. The generation would be burned down by a mysterious Commander who only left a single heir for each family to continue the legacy.

"And that, was how, in a single night, two of Ritan's most powerful families burned to ashes, it's memories forever burned from the history books."