RIKA

They took their time undressing each other and kissing, stroking, still on their feet, Rika becoming accustomed to him in this space.

Gar kept whispering in her ear, checking in, meeting her eyes as he touched, measuring her fear.

And her fear was wavering—sometimes jerking her out of the gorgeous sensations of his fingers on her skin, other times fading completely so she was consumed with him.

But there was no doubt she hadn't relaxed here yet, in his space. She wanted to find the abandon she'd had that morning in the cave.

"Lay down on the bed, on your stomach," she whispered, breathless.

Gar, his chest rising and falling with his breath beginning to labor, pulled back to look at her carefully. "Are you sure you're okay? We don't have to—"

"I'm fine. Safe word, remember?" she reminded him, trying to keep the edge out of her voice. She just needed to find that place where she was relaxed! Him asking all the time didn't help, not with that. She put a hand to his chest and looked up at him from beneath her lashes. "Lay down on the bed, on your stomach. I'm going to give you a massage."

Gar's brows shot up, but he practically leaped onto the furs, crossing his arms under his chin and laying there, waiting. "I'm ready."

Rika gave a genuine chuckle, then climbed up to straddle his waist and sit on his butt while she rubbed his shoulders.

As soon as she kneaded the muscles where his neck met his shoulders, he groaned and dropped his face into the pillows. "Oh, that feels amazing."

Rika grinned. His skin was darker than hers and so warm. Whenever he moved the muscles on his back rippled and stretched, reminding her of the cat that lived within him.

Then he put one of his hands down and cupped her knee where she knelt over him, his fingers tickling a little on her kneecap. But the touch was so simple, so.. gently possessive, she loved it.

She bit her lip as she began tracing the lines of muscle in his back, pressing first her fingertips, then her knuckles into the knotted muscles, her belly trilling at the beauty of him.

A man's back and shoulders had always been the most attractive parts of him, in her opinion. You could always see their strength there, which could be scary. But it was also.. vulnerable. There was something about a man who had his back to you, so you could see his strength, but he was at a disadvantage.

She shivered slightly and drew her hands down his spine.

Gar groaned.

"You better be careful," he rumbled, his voice muffled by the pillows. "If you keep doing this I might not want to mate you anymore, I might just want a massage every night."

Rika snorted. That wasn't going to happen, she knew. She'd seen the fire in Gar's eyes when he looked at her. It always lit the flames of her own.

"I love your back," she said quietly. "You're so strong.. it makes me wonder about all the things you've done. All the places you've been. The fights you've won. You're.. you're a warrior, Gar. Whether you realize it or not, you're a fighter. Tell me what it's like, knowing you can walk into a room and if you have to, you could fight your way out?"

Gar's back rose and fell with a huge sigh, then he turned his face out of the furs and rested it on his forearm again. "I don't want to scare you," he said.historical

She opened her mouth to say that he wouldn't, but realized it might not be true. She wouldn't know until she heard.

"Well, I can't promise that it won't make me nervous," she said earnestly, "But I want to understand you. I want to know you. And I want to know what it's like to be you. So, let's give it a shot. I have a safe word if I need it."

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, but didn't lift his eyes from the furs, or his arm.

Then after a moment he said, "I started growing when I was like ten," he said, his voice kind of quiet. "By the time I was twelve it was obvious I was going to be big like my dad. He thinks I might even have been a little bigger at that age. But, I don't know." He shrugged under her hands and Rika kneaded his shoulders again. He sighed happily.

"So, we'd done training before that, when I was a kid. But it was all technique stuff. When I got to twelve and I was already as tall as some of the other mature males, plus I had a mouth on me, Dad said he knew I was going to end up challenging the wrong male and he didn't want me to get myself killed. So, he started training me for real after that."

He was quiet for a moment, like he was remembering. "I don't know how to answer your question," he said thoughtfully. "Except maybe to say.. Dad's focus was always about the responsibility of being strong. How.. how being the biggest male in the room meant watching out for the smallest. How being the most dominant meant using that to protect those who weren't." Then he shifted a little like he was squirming. "How I should never use that strength against a female—that the choice was always hers, and she should never feel afraid of me. Ever. He was really firm on that point—Mom was too."

"Your parents are awesome," she breathed, pressing the heels of her hands into his muscles up each side of his spine.

"Yeah," he said carefully. "I mean, you know how I felt about Dad. I'm starting to see.. well, I think maybe he saw how he underestimated me. And I can see how I helped him do it. So I guess we're both at fault. But talking to you, Rika, I learned a lot." He pushed up on his elbows so his back bowed, those big shoulders spread like a feast in front of her. He looked at her over his shoulder, holding her eyes. "I was never afraid of my dad—not like you had to be. I get that now. I didn't trust him, but it was more that I thought he was going to hurt my.. my heart. Even when I was so angry at him, I always knew if someone was coming for me, he'd defend me. I always knew if I was in danger, he'd help. It's not like what you went through. I didn't understand that right away. I'm sorry. But I get it now, I think. I mean.. at least as much as I can.

"But the weird part about that is, I realize I want to be that way, too, you know? I always used to get pissed off when someone would say I was like my dad, because he pissed me off all the time. But lately.. talking to him and rethinking things some, and being Alpha and realizing how many people are relying on you.. and how many are working against you when you're in that space.. I want to be like him. At least, that part of him. I want to be the kind of male that others come to when they're scared, or weak. I want to help."

Swallowing the pinch in her throat, she leaned forward to kiss him sweetly, then leaned her chin on his shoulder, their eyes locked.

"You already are, Gar," she whispered, reaching around to stroke his face. "You already are."