Chapter 154-Oaths(2/2)
“Anarchy and lawlessness are harbingers of suffering, as you should well know,” the heiress replied.
“I do know that,” Ling Qi said with a grimace. “That’s why I almost want to believe in what you say.”
“... Justice requires order, but order is not justice. Not on its own. Therein lies my disagreement with my Honored Mother,” Cai Renxiang said quietly. “The clannish selfishness you spoke of is the root of much evil as well. Do you know what horrors have been wrought by those who think of family above all else?”
“I can imagine,” Ling Qi replied, her head bowed.
The light around the other girl dimmed, and Ling Qi thought she saw the other girl’s stiff shoulders droop fractionally. “Do you know what I have regretted most since arriving on this mountain?”
Ling Qi closed her eyes, considering the events of the last half year. “Trusting Sun Liling to keep her word?”
Cai scoffed. “Not at all. The West is volatile, and that girl more than most. No, I regret the harshness of the penalty inflicted upon Ji Rong.”
Ling Qi hadn’t even considered that the girl might regard that as something worth regretting. “Why?”
“Because it accomplished nothing,” the heiress expanded. “Some might say it solidified the appearance of my authority, but I think this position is wrong. Detestable as it is, the simple overwhelming force of my council was enough for that.”
“I thought the point was to make sure everyone understood that corruption was unacceptable,” Ling Qi replied, thinking uneasily of her own crime.
“It is,” Cai agreed, dipping her head. “However, it is the duty of the lord to consider circumstances, and in that incident, I was overzealous. In doing so, I destroyed any chance that he might have come to be educated properly. Like Mother’s order, it was overwhelming and absolute... but I wonder at times, what is lost when its crushing weight comes down.”
“You believe this is what she wants you to think,” Ling Qi said shrewdly.
“Quite. I was shaped to find the flaws which are beneath her notice,” Cai agreed.
“I wonder about that,” Ling Qi replied, feeling subdued. “I have never met the Duchess Cai, but even the Sage Emperor wasn’t omniscient. I don’t think anyone, even Great Spirits, really control everything around them, no matter how hard they try.”
“You do not know her.” Cai’s response was immediate, and Ling Qi shuddered at the fear which touched the stoic girl’s voice. It felt discordant and wrong to hear that sort of childish, all-consuming fear from Cai Renxiang.
“You’re right. It isn’t my place to speak of it.” Ling Qi sighed. “For the record, next time we have a friendly chat, maybe we should stick with discussing tea.”
The shadow on the heiress’ features disappeared, and her expression returned to normal. “I believe that may be for the best.”
“... Is your offer still open with what I said?” Ling Qi asked tentatively.
“If I believed that others could not be brought to see the truth of my justice, I would not be worthy of my name,” Cai Renxiang replied, her confidence back in force.
Despite the heiress’ words, Ling Qi was troubled as she left Cai’s training ground. Her assistance of Fu Xiang didn’t violate the text of the Sect’s or Cai’s rules – sabotage was well within the playbook of competition in the leadup to the New Year’s Tournament and the targets were part of the market faction, rather than Cai’s – but it probably violated the spirit. Could she really commit to Cai while also committing to the lie she and Fu Xiang had crafted? She didn’t know.
She was going to talk to Fu Xiang. The first two could no longer be helped, but she would ensure that the third would not be unjustly framed. Two competitors knocked out of the crafting competition was already beyond what Fu Xiang had asked of her. She wouldn’t betray someone who had helped her, but she didn’t want to participate in the scheme any further.
It made her feel dirty, as if she had never escaped the gutter in the first place.