349 Doubting Zi Han’s love

Yi Chen sighed feeling slightly defeated. He rubbed Zi Han’s back as he tilted his head slightly and nuzzled the tip of his lover’s ear before whispering, “I will stay but... I have to leave before sunrise, okay?”

Zi Han’s lips quirked up in a slight arc that showed both joy and sadness with a bittersweet feeling to it.

Ten minutes later he was having a hard time dealing with his emotions so much so that he was slightly restless. He kept touching this and moving this while complaining about what his mother said or what his grandfather did.

He was still paying attention to Yi Chen but not exactly paying attention to him. It was because he was afraid that he was going to grow even more attached to Yi Chen which would only make it very difficult to let go in a few hours.

It was like he had subconsciously built a metal wall around his heart so it wouldn’t hurt less when Yi Chen left him tomorrow.

He even insisted on making something to eat and stood up but Yi Chen abruptly got up and blocked Zi Han’s path.

“Let me make something. I promise it will be quick,” said Zi Han with a slight smile but in truth, his heart was aching. Seeing that Yi Chen didn’t respond, Zi Han took a step to his left to pass him but Yi Chen moved his foot to the side blocking his path again.

historical

Zi Han pat Yi Chen’s chest and said, “It won’t take long. I will make your favorite, okay?” before taking a step to the other side.

Yi Chen moved abruptly and blocked his path again his expression seeming leisurely. “Baby, don’t make trouble, okay? Now be good and sit over there. Or you can go take a shower and warm up your body. You got rained on,” said Zi Han trying to coax Yi Chen.

.....

This time Yi Chen didn’t block his path. Zi Han kissed his chin with a feather light touch that was enough to send sparks straight into his heart.

Just as Zi Han passed him Yi Chen grabbed his lover’s arm and Zi Han was forced to stop. Zi Han raised his head glancing at Yi Chen’s side profile his heart beating hard against his chest.

A terrifying bright flash of lightning formed cracks in the sky followed by a roar of thunder as the rain outside began to fall heavily beating itself against the glass windows.

When the roaring thunder shook the skies, Zi Han’s heart leapt out of his chest but his gaze remained on that handsome side profile. It was as though the weather was conveying Yi Chen’s grievance on his behalf.

“My mother told me to bring you frozen lasagna that she made before she left...,” he said and Zi Han licked his lips before saying,

“Then I will make some side dishes.”

Yi Chen sighed before staring at him from the corner of his eye and said, “Is this really how you want to spend this night? I might not be able to see you for a long time... Think about it clearly.”

After saying this Yi Chen reluctantly let him go and turned towards the stairs. He crossed his fingers silently hoping that Zi Han would follow him. He thought his lover would wrap his arms around his waist like before and say something sweet to appease him but halfway up the stairs, he realised that Zi Han wasn’t going to stop him. A touch of disappointment flashed quickly in his eyes but he didn’t turn his gaze back.

When he entered their bedroom he took off his t-shirt and jeans before removing his pendant. As he placed his pendant on the pedestal he took a glance at the ring on his finger.

His lips pressed into a thin line as he twisted the ring as though to remove it. No one could tell what he was thinking at that moment. When he thought of his father’s words his eyes dimmed slightly.

He never thought about it before but now that his father had brought it up he couldn’t help but overthink and question whether Zi Han truly loved him or not.

Despite being together for so long, Zi Han never said those words he desperately wanted to hear. He always told himself that Zi Han’s feelings would grow over time and he would finally say it.

When he did say it Yi Chen was so happy but right after Zi Han said it he intentionally or unintentionally sabotaged their relationship.

After days of being apart from him and away from Zi Han’s influence he began to doubt Zi Han’s love for him. His doubts were further exacerbated by what just happened now. Despite knowing that they only had a few hours together with absolutely no certainty on when they could meet up next, Zi Han was choosing to spend some of that precious time away from him.

This thought had him twisting that ring intending to take it off but when it was halfway off his brows furrowed and he slid it back on.

So what if Zi Han didn’t have as much love for him as he did for Zi Han? Would he stop loving him then? Would he let go of this relationship? The answer to all those questions was no. He would rather die. Even if Zi Han didn’t love him as much as he loved him, Yi Chen would never let him go. He will do whatever it takes to make this work even when they were now on opposite sides of the border.

Yi Chen rubbed the ring on his finger affectionately his eyes radiant and sunny. “If love makes me stupid, then I choose to be an idiot for the rest of my life,” he whispered with a slight quirk on his face.

He pulled down his underwear and stepped into the shower. As the warm water flowed down his body a heavy load seemed to be removed from his soul.