438 I WANT TO HUG YOU

Knox didn’t know how to bring this matter to July. He knew that he was being unfair to her and had dragged this matter for so long.

In the past, when the first time he saw her, when the first time they met, he thought it wouldn’t be a big problem. He thought it would be solved by time, he thought they would be together for as long as they lived.

He would watch her to grow old and he would always by her side, no matter what happened, no matter what the reason, there was nothing that could make them apart.

Yet, the problem that he initially thought was nothing, it came bigger than he could imagine.

Their purpose of life was very different, they were not coming from the same state of mind and Knox couldn’t give her what she wanted the most. Something that he thought would never bother them, but in the end, this was the thing that drove them apart.

“Let’s end this.”

It was a simple word, but it was hard for him to say it. He couldn’t bring himself to look at July when he said those words, because he was not able to see her break apart.

He didn’t want to see her like that, but it was important for them to end this when there was still love between them, when their hatred and resentment had not yet grown wildly and they hurt each other further than this.

He wanted nothing for her but happiness, yet he could give her anything, but that....

.....

“Let’s end this.”

“What do you mean?” July lifted her head to look at Knox, she tried to figure out what he was talking about. What he meant by end this?

July knew that what she had done was wrong, it was completely wrong and she wouldn’t defense herself for that, since she was well aware how crucial the shattered soul for Chaos. She was ashamed for what she had done, but she didn’t regret her action to keep Flo saved.

But...

“What do you mean you want to end this?” July asked, she could feel her throat became dry and her breathing became heavier, she pushed herself from the floor and then approached Knox. “Tell me what do you mean with that?”

July tried to look at him in the eyes, but he refused to see her. He avoided her eyes and didn’t want to be touched by her.

Knox took a step back when she tried to come closer and this made her frown. “What is this? I understand that you are upset for what I have done... I understand that and I am sorry, but you didn’t need to avoid me,” July still tried to talk to him.

However, Knox didn’t look like he wanted to hear anything from her anymore, thus he walked toward the bed and then laid down there, he felt so tired.

“Knox...” July immediately approached him because she didn’t want him to start talking about ending things with her again. “Knox, I am so sorry... I know what I have done is unforgiveable...”

Yet, Knox raised one of his arms to cover his eyes, he was exhausted and the light from the morning sun started to illuminate the whole room.

“The window...” he said in small voice.

Fortunately, July heard that, thus she immediately walked toward the window and pulled the curtain to block the sunlight, so Knox could take some rest.

“... I know what happened between you and Sebastian,” Knox said, before July could approach him again and this made her froze in her place, with her back faced him. “I know what happened between you and Sebastian at the border of the east draghar.”

July felt there was someone threw a bucket of cold water to her, as she started to shiver. That was the only thing that she didn’t want Knox to know, but in the end, somehow, he knew it.

“You don’t know the detail of it,” July said, her voice sounded like a whisper, but it didn’t matter, because Knox could hear her well. “I did not willingly accept the kiss. He did it all of sudden and I couldn’t avoid it.” Fack, she didn’t even see that coming...

“I know,” Knox said calmly.

“You know?” July turned around, her eyes fixed on Knox, who still didn’t move from his position. “You know and this is your reaction?”

Knox didn’t answer that. He only closed his eyes, he didn’t even move at all, or even tried to see her.

“Another man kissed me and this is your reaction?” July didn’t know when they started to drift apart and when they became like this. But, in the past, Knox would have killed any man who would do such thing to her, but now, he looked so calm, he didn’t even bother to look at her.

“That man was Sebastian.” That was the best answer that Knox could give to her, after such a long silence.

Knox could hear how she breathed raggedly and how she grinded her teeth, the anger that came from her because of what he said, yet he still refused to see her, because it would make him weak and he needed to take back what he had said.

“So, it’s fine if that was Sebastian?” July hated the way her voice sounded, it filled with anger and hopelessness.

“Do you want me to kill him?” Knox asked.

Yes, he wanted to kill Sebastian the second he learned about what had happened. If it was him ten years ago when he met her for the first time, he would have killed him, he wouldn’t care even if Sebastian was the man, who had been following him for almost two decades.

But then, he could see it...

He could see all the things that July wanted. She could get it from him. Only if she stopped loving him and accept Sebastian, she would be happier. Sebastian would be able to give whatever she wanted.

With that thought, Knox managed to swallow his anger, he could face Sebastian and suppressed his desire to kill him right there and then for what he had done to July.

She just needed time to understand and she would understand eventually...

However, what July said next had shattered Knox’s determination.

“Yes, kill him,” July said. She was trembling when she said this, but she didn’t know what else she had to say to make her point was heard by him.

How could he still didn’t understand how deep her feeling for him? Why he didn’t understand that?

“I will rather have you killed him than to see you give up on me,” July stated. She was telling the truth. With what else she had to make him understood?

She had waited for years for him to return, built her own people to protect this manor and had arranged everything among the chaotic situation when this city had fallen.

All she did that, all the gruesome night and horrifying sight that she had to endure, she did that all for him. She was willing to give up on everything, but now he wanted to give up on her?

What a ridiculous thought.

“If you think you can get away from me, you need to think again,” July said, there was warning in her tone when she said that and when Knox finally put down his arms, he could see the determination in her eyes.

The same determination that he had to let her go and let her to find her own happiness.

How could he withhold something that she really wanted?

Knox watched as July approached him and then laid down beside him, as she hugged his body so tightly. She snuggled closer to him, while hiding her face.

“I will never let you go, don’t you dare to say that this is over. I have bet my whole youth on you, don’t you dare to turn your back against me and shun me away.” July chocked on her own voice, she was trying so hard to not cry.

She was not a child, she didn’t need to cry when she dealt with this overwhelming emotion, she was thirty eight years old woman and she could hold herself, but the thought of Knox wanted to end this with her made her suffocated.

“July...” Knox rubbed her back, as her body trembled, he knew she was crying right now.

“Don’t talk to me, I want to sleep.” July hugged him even tighter.

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“Knox said he has something for you in the library,” Zuri told Chaos, once he opened his eyes. “I have checked and it’s your shattered soul.”

Zuri was laying down on the bed next to him, it was almost noon, but Chaos just woke up now. His eyes became even darker if it was possible and this made Zuri uncomfortable, because she felt like he was already on the verge of losing it.

historical

“I have made you a breakfast, but I think it’s already cold, I will warm it up for you.” Zuri was about to get off the bed when Chaos reached out to her body and hugged her from behind.

“No, stay like this. I want to hold you like this,” Chaos said, as he buried his face on the back of her head, breathing in her scent that he loved. “I want to hug you for a little bit longer.”

And Zuri let him to hug her.

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*Read my new book: KISSED BY THE DARK ALPHA*

Alpha Micah Donovan’s second chance mate.