Chapter 142 Before Eternal Sleep
They couldn't give Ahanu a funeral because of their travels and the need to carry the body around, which was highly impractical. So they had to speed up for the wake instead.
Blank was rather unfamiliar with burial practices of his tribe from being away for so long. But he does remember a few things.
"We don't have any tobacco anymore." He noticed gloomily. "But at least we have the pipe where he smoked it."
Tobacco was very important for native burials. It was almost regarded the same way as the Greeks putting coins on their dead as payment to Charon, the ferryman who will take them to the Underworld through the River Styx.
Blank told them that a proper wake and burial would have lasted for 4 days. There were certain traditions to follow, like how only women were allowed to bath and change the clothes of the dead. They would place moccasins at the dead's feet, and prepare meals to feed not just the village, but also the spirits.
They believed the spirits of their past ancestors would come as well to attend the funeral, as well as nature spirits that were fond of the person to be buried. Sweetgrass was placed on the right hand for purification, and tobacco for the Creator to smoke in exchange of giving those they left behind good fortune.
Harker and Joan helped the elder brother to look for sweetgrass in the woods. That was the least they could do, after all, since they don't know anything about the burial rites either. They also helped with digging the hole before sundown, most of which was Harker's job with his clawed fingers.
He was like a dog, burrowing a hole for Ahanu's little body to be laid to rest. They put branches and sticks as Blank instructed, so the body does not touch the Earth. The blankets and clothes Ahanu owned were then placed above these sticks. Then the body itself was positioned carefully, while Blank was singing a song.
It was nothing like Harker experienced. He had been to many funerals before, but never laying someone to rest in the middle of the woods and by himself. Ahanu's body was decomposing and wasn't embalmed by a trained mortician or anything like that.
A blanket was instead used to cover his body, which was Blank's blanket. It was his brother who washed him, changed his clothes to his favorite ones, and prepared the meals for them to eat.
historical
It was a very long and solemn process, and Harker could only guess what kinds of thoughts would go into someone's mind while doing this. Preparing their own family member's burial. He realized he was lucky to only have to watch his mother in a casket, shed tears with family, and then watch it be lowered by someone else.
Would he be able to do the same as Blank did? Maybe, he knew himself well enough to be able to have some resilience to do it.
But he couldn't possibly do it without being on the verge of tears.
Before returning the soil and snow they dug up on top of the body, Blank cut a piece of Ahanu's hair and placed it inside his pocket. He cut all of his hair up to the ears with an arrow tip, a sign that someone was mourning, he explained.
Then, he cut a slice on his wrist.
Joan was shocked and grabbed it. "What are you doing!?"
But Harker placed a hand on her shoulder, and shook his head. "Let him do it. It might be part of the burial rites."
"It is." Blank said in more of an exhausted tone.
There was something different about him right now. It was an aura that was much more similar to when Harker first met him. He doesn't know why that suddenly disappeared the night he got the wendigo curse. No, it wasn't during the curse itself.. It was the idea of Harker consuming him that triggered his 'darker' side.
But that moved away, that morbid part of him. It was replaced by the grieving him, the part that was just an older brother looking out for his younger one. And now that he was gone, he was also at a loss.
Blank stared at the drops of blood staining the blanket and some of the white snow falling on top of it. He then made cuts on his legs as well, and let it drip there too.
Then, he turned to Harker. "It is finished."
Harker nodded, and covered the hole he made. It was finished. Ahanu was now back into the earth, his spirit journeying into whatever awaits in the afterlife.
Blank wept again, squatting beside that hole. He might never be able to visit this place. Any marker would be buried in the snow, and it would be difficult to find his way into this specific part of the mountains.
So Harker let him take his time, only observing him.
"Which is the real you, I wonder...." He muttered to himself.
Joan turned to him in surprise. "Did you just..."
Harker turned. "What?"
She then shook her head. "Nothing."
Harker knew what she was talking about, and feigned ignorance, as always. Just now, he spoke with a different accent.
It just spilled out naturally, just like how when you cut human skin, blood will flow out. It was within him, always has been. It wasn't just his way of talking that was changing as time went by, he realized. The more he learned about himself...
Well, which was his 'real self'?
It felt that he had gone through so many phases already, and couldn't decide which phase was 'him'.
The right answer would be all of them, of course. But it was also so confusing to think about, the past and the present.
And the future was a universe of mystery left to be explored.
Sundown came, and the wendigos' howls could be heard. Harker placed a hand on Blank's shoulder.
"Time to go now. Sorry." He said in a sincere tone.
Blank looked up at him with those familiar eyes. He knew those eyes because that's what he saw in the mirror when he just lost his mother, the first woman he looked up to and admired. And he saw those eyes often on his father, even when Howard tries his best to hide it from his children.
"I don't want to be tied to you tonight." Blank said.
Harker closed his eyes for a moment as he took a deep breath, then nodded. "I get it. Then we should sleep somewhere where it's hard to move around, like that small crawl space—"
"I'm going to stay here. By my brother's side."
Harker couldn't possibly agree with that. But he had long noticed how Blank had set up camp by his brother's grave, lighting a campfire for himself and preparing some mint leaves to keep him awake.
And yet even though he knew what he was doing, he didn't stop him. His silence was basically a permission.
"..... Be careful. I mean it. Ahanu wouldn't want you to—"
"I know. I don't want to die that way either." Blank smiled softly, showing a bit of that dark side but in a gentler way. "You can sleep next to her, you know? It won't happen again. I know it won't. The question was whether you believe in me or not, and if you believe in yourself enough."
Harker gave an ironic smile, shaking his head. This man who taunted him all the time, trusted him more than he trusted himself.
He went inside the cave, and asked for Joan's permission.
"Can I sleep by your side?"