171 v. Let’s Date

She managed to convince him to let her join the governor for dinner. It was an uneventful dinner of course.

He was waiting for her in front of her room when she arrived. His eyes were sad, guilty over what he did earlier.

He has this sullen look on his face, it was palpable that he was hesitant to approach her.

For a few moments more, he was just staring at her, as if afraid she would run away from him. As if by that he would crumble and lose it all.

These are all just assumptions she made, but he has the most expressive eyes, and the way he barely moved and held his breath made her feel like she interpreted it right.

“How was your night?” he asked her, his eyes boring through hers, still remaining in the shadows.

His body was slightly slumped instead of the usual confident way he carried himself. He was like a lost boy and her heart goes out to him.

“It- it was fine,” she answered. She knew she was entitled to get mad at him over what he did.

He did something that really violated her, and it has been physically and emotionally exhausting. It drained her of her strength and made her feel like a mere tool being used by him. Like she didn’t matter.

.....

But seeing him like this, her stupid heart couldn’t help but feel like she will drown from the pain he felt. His sorrow somehow became her sorrow.

historical

It was difficult to explain, especially for her whose whole world until now revolved around the tiny room she was locked in. She had very few social interactions with people and has not developed emotional connections with anyone.

She didn’t know she can feel this way towards another. It is a terrible feeling, one she didn’t know the name of.

“Did you have a fun time?” he spoke, careful to reign in his jealousy.

Fuck. He has no right to feel this way for her. Look at what he did just because he lost control.

“Ahhh, it was pleasant. The restaurant was nice, we ate some pasta,” she mumbled.

What the hell is wrong with her? Why is she acting so friendly with him all of a sudden? They both know he didn’t deserve that.

“I see,” he replied. He couldn’t even say he was glad she enjoyed her date.

He was a greedy bastard. That much has been established the more he spends time with her.

He wanted so badly to walk towards her and put his arms around her. But he was so afraid she would panic, maybe even cry.

She would probably cry out of fear from him. That will be really painful to bear. He didn’t want to deal with the pain of her inevitable rejection.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her though. At least he believed that much he is allowed to do.

She is stunning. In her simple summer dress and a pink scarf wrapped around her neck, she looked like the most beautiful thing in the world.

Of course he knew people will find him biased. She has always been his standard for beauty.

Her cute and innocent face was framed perfectly by her auburn hair that she kept in a bun. Ahhh... he would love to run his fingers again on her hair, tangle it up, untangle it. Sniff her scent on it.

Fuck. Even just thinking like that caused him an erection. He really was mad.

She smiled at him and made a tentative step towards him. That was when he felt he would lose his mind if he didn’t do the same.

Before he could think his actions through, she was already in his arms, her face buried against his chest as he lifted her towards him.

He felt like his whole world stopped for this moment. How he wished he could freeze this memory so he could always have this feeling of having her in his arms.

He is such a fool. A fool who couldn’t stop himself from falling even more into what may appear to others as a dangerous obsession.

He knew she was still blinded now as to his cruel ways and evil nature. He knew how she is, innocent and kind.

That is why someone like her couldn’t possibly comprehend the depths of his need for her. It was like his desperation to make her his has already overtaken everything in his life.

He felt the need to always fill her with his seeds, and when her mind blanks to everything else but him, that was when he most feel fulfilled.

“Why are you crying?” he asked her, the warm tears dampening his shirt made him feel like his heart will burst from unrestrained emotions.

“I am just really happy that you aren’t angry at me anymore,” she whispered.

“You are the one who has a right to be mad at me. What I did can never be truly justified. I am the worse person alive,” he tightened his hold on her.

He continued to squeeze her in his arms until he feared he is about to crush her frail body just from the sheer strength of his hug. She stopped crying and buried her face in his chest.

He chuckled, anyone who sees them will find them funny. Their height and size difference makes them look like David and Goliath.

“Why are you laughing?” she complained.

“Ahhh, I just find this so cute. How I need to carry you just so we can hug,” he teased her.

“I am the one uncomfortable here with my legs dangling in the air, but did you hear anything from me?” she pouted.

He lifted her chin and dipped his head lower, brushing his lips against hers, “Let’s go on a date.”

“A date?” she asked, her eyes widened in shock.

She knew she shouldn’t say yes to something that is antagonistic to her goal, which is to keep things casual between the two of them.

“Yes, for me to make up for what I did. Can you allow me a chance to do that?” he asked, his deep baritone voice making her heart quiver.

“Yes, that’s okay for us to do, I think,” she said the words before she could stop herself.

“Then, is that a yes?” his golden eyes seemed to hypnotize her into nodding her head.

She knew she is in trouble when she nodded her head and smiled. But can anyone blame her really?

He was like her weakness. That was of course not something she can even admit to herself.

To name the feelings she feels for him will only have disastrous consequences. She knew what she needed and it was not some complicated emotions swirling through her chest.

But for some reason, she couldn’t seem to say no. To each and every of his request, she felt like she had no choice but to say yes.

She knew she is not being forced. And yet just thinking about how she would disappoint him makes it impossible for her to argue.

“Do I need to change my outfit?” she asked him.

“No, that will be fine,” he removed his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

She blushed at his sweet gesture. Her heart painfully throbbed against her chest because she couldn’t avoid catching his scent.

His scent was masculine. He smells of the sea and clean laundry. Ahhh, does she even make sense? Her mind just clouded more when she smells him against her skin.

There was no reason for her to be like a sex-deprived teenager. She blushed as she thought of the moments he has ruined every ounce left of her innocence.

Ahhh, that could be the reason, right? For craving him even when he was standing so close to her? For wanting his touch on her skin every minute of her waking hour?

“Let’s go,” he offered his hand which she readily accepted.

He intertwined their fingers together as their hands clasped. That was enough to send her over the edge again.

Fuck hormones! She cursed inwardly as she walked silently beside him. The air was chilly and yet she felt like her body is burning.

When they reached the port, his eyes softened, “Thank you. I’ll promise to behave and try to be a gentleman.”

Because he sounded so sincere she couldn’t even joke about him surely going to fail in his attempt. She didn’t even try to be free from his hug when he embraced her tightly.

He took a deep breath and lead her to a stall of different street foods, “It will clean your palate from the pasta.”

She laughed at the way he said the words like the pasta she had for dinner is extremely poisonous.

“I’ll get fishballs please, and some sweet sauce to dip it in,” she said.

Well, she wasn’t so against this. In fact, as someone who has only heard of street food, she is overly curious as to its taste.

He got her some fishballs and kikiams dipped in sweet sauce. He also got a can of beer in his hands.

“For me?” she asked, teasing him.

He frowned at her question and handed her the plastic cup filled with kikiam and fishballs.

“You are such a killjoy,” she pouted.

“You want your father to kill me?” they both laughed when they realized what he just said.

“Are you afraid we might get found out?” she asked.

“Not at all. I think for me, no matter what may happen afterwards... I will surely have no regrets. Whatever this is that we are in, it is worth it. Because I have never been as happy as I am now,” he answered, holding her hand up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss on it.