109 109. Love and Hate

Clara packed her things. It was time for her to go home after a tiring day’s overtime work. The jobs given to her were not too many. However, she did work harder these days. The reason was simple. She wanted to distract herself from her life’s problems by working.

It was exhausting. However, she would go straight to sleep as soon as she got home. She wouldn’t have had time to overthink her problems. Serious problems could make short-minded people end their lives. Dark thoughts would indeed lead them in that direction.

She stepped down the stairs to the ground floor. Not because she was too lazy to queue at the elevator, but because she wanted to walk more so she would be able to keep her body in good shape. Her busy schedule made her rarely take time to go to the gym.

When she got to the main entrance, the sensor flashed red, and the door automatically opened for her. When the woman was about to leave, someone called her name.

“Clara?”

Clara turned around and found Dave standing behind her. Her brows furrowed, looking displeased with his presence there.

“What do you want, Dave?” Clara asked, snorting in annoyance. “I told you not to see me this month.”

“That’s impossible, Clara! Our parents are planning our wedding. Why do you keep avoiding me?” Dave complained. He was waiting for her since forever but her reaction was a real pain in the ass.

Clara shook her head, laughing mockingly at Dave. “You are happy, right? Our parents support you. It’s pathetic, no? Even my own father doesn’t care about how I feel.”

.....

Dave couldn’t contain his emotion. He grabbed Clara by the shoulder and shook her lightly, “Clara, I didn’t come here to fight with you. Please try to understand that the situation can’t be changed. Make peace with this condition!”

Hearing Dave’s statement made Clara even more irritated. “For you, it’s so easy to make peace with all of this. However, what about me? My condition is not as good as yours, Dave!”

“Then, why did you reject Lea’s proposal?” Dave asked, yelling at Clara to hear. “Wouldn’t the presence of the child make our situation better? We can pretend there is no problem between us. We can go back to how we used to be.”

Clara’s ears felt like they had been struck by lightning. How could Dave say such a thing to her? Had Lea also told him about the crazy idea?

“So she already told you?” asked Clara, sneering at Dave.

He nodded. “She came to me, told me about her intention to give the baby to us-”

“Your baby,” Clara corrected quickly.

Dave sighed, he nodded, confirming Clara’s statement.

“Do you think that I will easily forget your mistake,” Clara said while squinting her eyes, looking hatefully at Dave.

“Clara. I just wanted to tell you, if Lea were to leave the baby to us, this would be the best solution, baby!” Dave explained again. He looked into Clara’s amber eyes with his round steely eyes. “We can think of that child as ours. My parents also won’t demand much because the child was their own flesh and blood. We will be able to continue our lives, loving each other till death do us part.”

Clara’s throat constricted. Dave’s words did make her feel that it was the most reasonable thing. However, she felt something was off.

“We ... can think of Lea as a surrogate mother,” Dave said again. This time, he looked at his lover with pitiful eyes.

Clara nodded, then smiled bitterly. He looked at Dave with pity. “Then... when you want another child, are you going to fuck another woman, knock her up, and ask me to think of her as a surrogate mother ... again?” she asked in sarcasm curtly.

“Clara!”

“Sorry, Dave! I am so tired. I want to go home soon and take a rest immediately! You come at the wrong time! You should come to me when I’m free,” Clara said again, tightening her lips, and forming a thin line.

“And you will always be busy if I want to talk to you, right?”

Clara snorted, averting her eyes from Dave. “You are smart, you must know what I meant!”

Clara then left, away from Dave. The sensor flashed red again, the door automatically opened for her. Cold air rushed into the room. Clara immediately stepped out of the room so that the door would immediately close to keep the comfort for those who were still in the hospital.

Clara walked quickly. She tucked her grey waterproof coat hoodie over her head, shielding herself from the snow showers. Her black winter boots helped her walk away from Dave quickly even on the slippery ground. However, just as she had expected, Dave chased after her anyway. The man ran to get ahead of her, letting her do nothing but stop.

“Dave-”

“Say it, Clara! Say you hate me,” Dave said breathlessly. The man in the black coat held Clara’s shoulder with his hands, looking at her with a sharp gaze.

“What do you mean?” Clara asked in confusion.

“Tell me that you hate me and don’t want me for the rest of your life,” Dave said again in a serious tone.

“Then?”

“Then ... I will be gone from your life forever,” Dave replied, swallowing hard.

Clara was silent, her amber eyes stared at Dave as wide as they could. The snowflakes landed on Clara’s warm red lips, making them instantly melt, and making her tremble from the loss of internal heat.

“I ....” Clara trailed off. All the insults and hatred for Dave suddenly caught in her throat.

“Tell me that you don’t want to be with me at all. Say you want to throw me away from your life,” said Dave confidently even though the cold air made his teeth grind, “for good.”

historical

Dave stared closely at Clara’s face with his steely eyes. That very time, he was determined to grant her request if she no longer had feelings for him.

Clara looked in any direction but Dave. She felt intimidated. She couldn’t utter a single word against Dave.

“This is ridiculous!” she protested while lowering her face, and looking away. However, Dave grabbed her chin and lifted her face with his hands so they were facing each other again.

“Look at me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me anymore,” Dave said by shaking Clara’s shoulder lightly, making her silky brunette hair sway so that her hoodie almost came off.

“I ...,” Clara’s whisper sounded even quieter. Instead of saying words to reject Dave, she shed tears. Her eyes heated up, in contrast to the bone-chilling air. Her sobs became even harder. Her eyes glistened with tears, looking at Dave with a desperate look.

“I know, deep down you still love me, right? That’s why you can’t leave me, right?” asked Dave again. He was insistent, but the sincerity was palpable with every emphasis in his words. “You can’t stand to see me marry another woman, can you?”

Clara’s tears grew heavier. Her lips were trembling even more. She bit her lower lip, trying not to get too carried away. However, she lost.

“Can’t we start over from the beginning, Clara?” asked Dave again. “How about if we pretend that this is our first meeting?”

Clara sobbed even more. She could only stare at Dave in despair. How could she possibly hate him completely after everything that’s happened between them over the years? Clara felt increasingly helpless.

“If you still love me, why did you reject Lea’s offer?” asked Dave again. His eyebrows met, showing a face that was as hurt as hers.

“You don’t know my pain, Dave. I hate you because you cheated on me. However, I hate myself more because I’m not the perfect woman for you,” Clara said in heartbreaking tears. Her eyes looked at Dave with a painful gaze. “I can’t give birth to your child, I won’t be able to call a child ‘our child’.”

Dave’s eyes couldn’t help but fill with tears when he heard Clara’s words. At that moment, Clara’s sadness hurt the hearts of anyone who saw her, let alone Dave. He brought the woman he loved into his embrace tightly, making her slender body feel warm despite the heavy snow showers.

“You’re perfect, baby,” Dave whispered as he kissed Clara’s forehead, making Clara’s tears flow even harder, running down her cheeks. “You are the most perfect woman for me.”

“Dave....”

“That’s why I’m begging you, Clara. Accept Lea’s offer, we’ll start again from the beginning, “Dave said later. He cupped Clara’s face with his black-gloved hands. “Okay?”

Slowly, Dave hugged her tighter. Under the pouring snow, the two of them made out, warming their cold faces with passionate kisses.

Dave then broke away from the kiss. He then whispered in Clara’s ear. “Come on, baby! Let’s face the hardship together.”

The snowfall was getting heavier. Dave and Clara’s heads turned white, covered in a thin pile of snow. However, both of them felt warm and comfortable with loving hugs and hot kisses.

Dave pulled his lips from hers and whispered in a hoarse voice, “Wanna warm your body up in my place?”