Chapter 151

Poliana Winter was a woman. There has never been a moment in her life when Poliana forgot this fact. She was born a woman, lived her life as a woman, and would die as a woman. Even if she was wearing pants like a man, wielded a sword like a man, and cut her hair like a man, Poliana Winter was a woman. No one could deny this fact because it was the truth.

She never felt uncomfortable when people talked about this topic. She never felt awkward when people mentioned how “unwomanly” she was.

Until now..historical

Even if she was barren.. Even if she lost her breasts.. These things could never cause her gender to change. Poliana never doubted this. She always thought nothing in this world could change the fact that she was a woman. Whenever someone talked to her about this topic, she never became speechless. She felt that as long as she was confident, she was going to be okay. Poliana made sure to punish those who said to her that she wasn’t a woman, kicking their balls was her specialty.

But now.. at this moment.. Poliana became speechless. Rebecca pleaded, “I know I am being rude. I know it’s not my place to ask you this, but I must. I am not demanding a perfect understanding and empathy from you, Marquess Winter. All I hope for from you is that you try to understand just a little bit of Stra’s sadness and desperation. Could you do that?”

Because Rebecca was a greedy woman, she added, “And! Please think of all the women who are still stuck behind this hurdle! Please don’t forget that at one time in your life, you used to also be constrained by this same wall. I am not asking you to break this wall. I am also not asking for a way out for myself. To be honest, I would love it if you could destroy this wall for all women in this world, but that would be unfair. It is not your job to do this. Besides, it would be meaningless unless each woman fights for it on her own in some way to get what she wants.”

Rebecca’s voice, which was getting stronger at one point, quieted down again. The wife of the emperor was begging for Poliana’s empathy and sympathy. It was such an ironic and strange situation that both women looked at each other uncomfortably.

Rebecca touched her hair and Poliana filled the lady’s cup with warm water again for her. Poliana couldn’t sit down on her chair again. She clenched her teeth, trying to control the overwhelming feeling that was erupting from deep inside her heart. She didn’t know why, but Poliana felt like she was about to cry. She walked around the room for a long time before saying finally, “I am a woman, Lady Rebecca.”

“Yes, Marquess, you are a woman, and you will be the only exception in this world.”

“I swear, I never tried to ignore or forget the fact that I am a woman.. I also certainly never felt like I was better than other women..”

“I know.”

Poliana was the person responsible for the ladies’ protection while Stra was one of the ladies being protected. Their relationship was cordial but still very professional. The emperor’s wives and Poliana were overly polite to each other, they followed the royal etiquette perfectly. They were never free to act as they wished since they were never alone. The extreme politeness, however, came from genuine care.

Poliana was certainly an exception for a woman, but she never intentionally drew a line between herself and the other women around her.

However, it seemed that Poliana did and she was just unaware of it. The truth was.. Poliana did put up a wall around herself from the other women. Subconsciously, she must’ve been thinking that she was different from the other women. But to be fair, the women, as well as men around her, saw Poliana as a different being. To them, she was not a man but not a woman either. This was why it felt so odd that Lady Rebecca asked her to try to feel empathy towards other women.

Marquess Poliana Winter was special. As long as the kingdom remains peaceful, there will never be another woman like her. She was, and always will be, the only one who got accepted as a knightess. There will never be the second “Sir Poliana.”

It was a perfect mix of misfortune, luck, effort, and chance that brought her to where she was. For another knightess like her to exist.. That would be a miracle. Poliana had to work like a dog to get to this place, and she never thought that she should change the world for the better..

To change it so that it would be better and easier for other women..

It was because Poliana herself believed that there was nothing wrong with the system. She always thought it was just the way it was, that it was normal for other women to live as they were. Even when Poliana met Vaxi and Vanessa, who clearly had the talent and desire to become knights, she never really thought that this world was unfair to them.

It was odd because although she knew the world was unfair to the weak and unfortunate, Poliana never thought why or how certain people became weak and unfortunate. Perhaps it was because there was no need. Although she had a hard life, Poliana was still a noblewoman. She was born into a wealthy noble family and never had to worry about money in her life. Poliana had never known poverty and now, she was on top of the world.

Poliana was selfish and greedy and because she was, she finally gained enough power that she could live the rest of her life comfortably. Her life was just beginning and there was a good chance that the next 50 years of her life was going to be a good easy one.

So, why would she choose to live a hard life? Helping the weak and unfortunate.. she wouldn’t gain anything from it. In fact, she might end up losing what she gained so far. Poliana never felt afraid to die whenever she went into a battlefield, but at this moment, she could find the courage to choose the harder life. Anything that wouldn’t help her life become better would not help his highness either.

Only

Poliana decided to live her life to serving Lucius the First. This meant that she couldn’t waste her time on anything else. It wasn’t that Lady Rebecca asked Poliana to break this hurdle, but Poliana couldn’t help thinking about the idea. Was it because she felt guilty that she didn’t feel any sympathy towards Stra when she should have as a fellow woman?

Rebecca said to her, “Marquess, you have always been honest with us. You have done your best to protect us. You have no idea what that means to all of the ladies including myself.”

“Lady Rebecca, I..”

“You always put everything into what you do, that is why I am so envious of you.”

Poliana put her hand on Rebecca’s gently. The lady begged, “I don’t know if you know, but among the three of us, Lady Stra likes you the best, Marquess. I guess it bothered me that you didn’t seem to think well of Stra when she is so fond of you. I.. I am not as strong and as independent as you, Marquess, so.. I.. I’m sorry. I was just ranting like a mad woman. And thank you, Marquess, for listening to me. As I suspected, you are very kind and thoughtful.”

Poliana could feel Rebecca’s hands. They were soft, hot, smooth, and beautiful. They were very different from Poliana’s. The lives they lived were so different and it showed on their hands, but there was one thing that remained the same..

Both their hands were the hands of a woman.