Chapter 158

Both Sir Rabi and Sir Baufallo were appalled. They overruled Poliana’s verdict and charged the men for the murder of the prostitute. They were punished accordingly, and even though the new sentence was much harsher, none of the soldiers on the base complained. They didn’t say a peep about it, making Poliana feel angry and unhappy.

Was Poliana supposed to sympathize with the dead prostitute just because they were both women? Whatever ruling Poliana came up with, she knew the men would’ve been unhappy with it and criticized her. Did this mean that she should’ve pitied the prostitute and rule in her favor?

Later, when Poliana could think more clearly, she decided to be more honest with herself. The decision she made at the time.. It wasn’t fair or an objective one. She came up with the ruling because she was afraid and she didn’t feel confident in herself. She feared how the men would react.

If the same thing happened now, she wouldn’t have hesitated to punish the soldiers for murder. She was different now, and Poliana tried to forget how cowardly she was before. In most days, she succeeded, but there were odd times when she remembered that moment.

Poliana never told this story to anyone before. It was partly because she forgot and partly because she didn’t feel the need to share her shame with other people. Poliana knew.. She just knew that if she brought up this story, the people would just say, “It’s because you are a woman and therefore soft and weak.”

“This is the first time I am telling this to anyone, Lady Rebecca.”

Poliana drank her tea. When she was done, she saw an un-melted sugar at the bottom of the cup. She drank it all and her tongue enjoyed its sweetness.

Poliana continued, “Lady Rebecca, you told me that I see the world as men do, but I must disagree. I think.. I think I see the world through the eyes of a soldier, a knight. You may say that all soldiers and knights are men, so what’s the difference.. but to me, there is a difference. I am different, which means I see and interpret the world differently. I, of course, miss things, choose to not see things I don’t want to see and interpret things in a way that is advantageous to me. I am a human, after all. Lady Rebecca, you said that being born a woman is an unfortunate incident. You said that women are weaker and the world isn’t fair to them, but the truth is.. The strong in this world also don’t have it all good. It’s the same for men too. For example, men are pressured to like drinking and dirty jokes. If a man shows great love for his family and his wife, the other men would say that he is too girly and emotional. A man gets teased for crying too. You know all of these, right? I am not trying to take the men’s side, not at all! I just don’t know why it is necessary at all to have different ‘sides.’ Why does it have to be men against women? We shouldn’t be enemies, we aren’t enemies. Women cannot survive without men, but it is the same for men too. How do you think they will feel if we tell the men that they will have to live without women? They will scream in fear and shock. I am not telling you this because I gave up on being a woman and because I think like a man. I like to think that I am acting like a knight. Like a human, I am living as I am, a woman with power.”

Poliana wasn’t going to pity the other women, but she was going to try to understand them. Poliana had lived for over thirty years, but there were still so many things she didn’t know. Perhaps this side of the world wasn’t something she needed to know. It wouldn’t help her at all to learn about the other women. Maybe the best thing for her was to continue ignoring the problem.

It would certainly be easier. Her life could go back to normal. She wouldn’t have to feel these new uncomfortable emotions, and there wouldn’t be nights like last night when she cried herself to sleep.

But.. It was too late. She heard about it already so now, she knew. And Poliana wasn’t going to run away now. In a determined voice, partly to convince herself as well, Poliana said to Rebecca, “So from now on, please tell me all of it. All the things you can’t tell others.. Please tell me.”

“Pardon?”

“I don’t care if you tell me things that are ridiculous. If you ever have things you want to tell me, please don’t hesitate.”

Poliana felt hurt that day when Rebecca ranted at her. But the fact was, it changed Poliana. It made Poliana learn a lot about herself.

Lucius the First was busy being the emperor of the entire continent. Sir Ainno was busy leading the kingdom’s very first knight’s order, he was also distracted by his new love interest. Sir Donau and Sir Howe were newly married and were about to become fathers. Sir Bentier became the new chancellor and Sir Wook was promoted as well.

And now.. What Rebecca told her was going to change Poliana’s world. She wasn’t sure if it was going to be for good or for bad. The only thing she knew without a doubt was that Poliana now saw things differently, and this was definitely a great thing for someone who leads a large group. She might choose not to act on what she learned, but she would at least learn about it. That was enough for now.

Rebecca shook her head and replied, “Oh.. No.. Please.. Don’t forgive me so easily.”

“When did I say I was going to forgive you?”

“But you are forgiving me right now.”

Did Lady Rebecca plan this whole thing, she coming to her to apologize in person even though she was still ill?

Whatever, It didn’t matter. For some reason, Poliana liked Rebecca. She found the lady very interesting. Even though Rebecca showed her the weakest and most hateful side of her, Poliana liked her even more now.

Poliana said to her, “I don’t tell anyone anything, so can you promise me to tell me everything?”

“Pardon?”historical

Only

Suddenly Rebecca wondered if Poliana had a horrible habit of listening to people’s confessions about themselves. Poliana continued, “But you must do the same for me. You must promise to listen to what I want to say. I am going to tell you things that I could never tell anyone else. Do you have any idea about the things I have been keeping to myself all these years?”

Poliana met so many men in her life who treated her poorly and unfairly. There were things she kept to herself because Poliana feared that the people would hate her or laugh at her.

The things she couldn’t tell anyone.. How she really felt.. There was no way she could tell these things to other soldiers or knights.

Poliana never fought alongside Rebecca, but somehow, a new friendship was forming between them. It was different from what she shared with Lucius the First, Donau, Vaxi, or Vanessa.

‘I guess there is quite an age gap between us, but who cares?’

Poliana offered her hand to Rebecca. Women didn’t shake hands, so Rebecca seemed uncertain but hesitantly, she took Poliana’s hand. They shook hands and Rebecca laughed quietly.

And this was how the wife of the emperor and the knightess became friends.