Chapter 292

Poliana heard that many pregnant women dream frequently as they got closer to their due dates. This was, however, not the case for her. Perhaps her father, who was probably living quietly in Cranbell, had the conception dream instead of her, but Poliana didn’t care about him and what kind of dreams he might be having. She had no desire to think about him, so she quickly changed her thoughts.

Until she was halfway through her pregnancy, Poliana didn’t bother slowing down. She woke up early in the morning to train as usual. She trained after every meal as well. The maids worried that she might miscarry if she continued such a vigorous lifestyle, but Poliana ignored them. Her baby survived the First Division training, which meant that this child could endure anything.

Poliana kept herself as active as possible while staying at the country house. She made sure not to be seen by others. As time passed, she became bigger and the changes in her body began to scare her. There was no way around this.

‘I admit, I am scared.’

Poliana’s birth mother died from a fever after her birth. Poliana’s friend Rebecca died after a difficult pregnancy as well. Of course, Vaxi and Vanessa both gave birth to their babies safely. There were plenty of people she knew, the wives of her colleagues mostly, that gave birth safely, but Poliana was still afraid.

Because she was the landlord and the mistress of the entire Sitrin, Poliana could not show her fear to others. So every night, she trembled alone in the bed.

‘I am so scared!’

Dying while giving birth was the worst kind of death Poliana could imagine. Marquess Poliana Winter dying while giving birth to a bastard? It made her quiver just thinking about it. She achieved so much in her life, but they will be forgotten. She will only be remembered as the woman who died giving birth to a bastard.

Poliana wrote a will and sealed it close. On top of it, she wrote:

-If I die while giving birth, make sure this will reach Sir Donau of the Ribo family.

In her will, she explained who the father of her baby was and why she had to hide her pregnancy. Poliana knew she could trust Sir Donau to respect her wishes and follow her orders.

And with that, Poliana was ready for her death.

She waited not for the birth of a new life but for death.

And if she survived, her fate would depend on what the child looks like. It didn’t matter if the baby was a girl or a boy as long as it did not resemble its father. If the baby looked just like her, it was going to be very simple to fix her situation. She just had to come up with a forged birth certificate for her child with a fake father. She would leave the baby in Sitrin and return to Yapa to ask for the emperor’s permission to be married to an imaginary man.

So easy, right?

Poliana felt certain the emperor would give his permission. She didn’t doubt that her emperor would never force her to remain a single mother.

But if the baby resembled its father..

“..”

Poliana decided not to think about this possibility. As her due date got closer, she became meaner and more sensitive. The people of Sitrin castle, who were excited to have a generous and kind landlord, were very understanding, considering her condition.

All animals become sensitive when their due date nears. Even a loyal dog often ran away to a “safer” place to have its puppies. There were some servants who felt sympathetic towards Poliana, who was without a husband or a family.

Then one day, Poliana felt her labor pain beginning. The midwife and the local doctor, who had been staying in the country house for a few weeks now, helped Poliana into her bed. The pain Poliana was feeling was the worst she has ever felt. After the enema, the midwife and the doctor constantly lifted her skirt to check.

The sharp and hellish pain began to overwhelm her every few minutes. Poliana has experienced severe injuries before. She was sliced with a sword, stabbed, shot by an arrow, and attacked with a hammer and a hatchet. She broke her bones plenty of times and she almost died a few times as well. When she had to fight so many men while being naked, the pain she experienced was immense.

But of all the pain she felt in the past, this was by far the worst. The agony every few minutes was so blinding, and the worst thing was the fact that it kept coming faster and more frequently.

“Arghhh.”

Poliana’s entire body was drenched in sweat. When she clenched her teeth, the midwife shook her head and whispered, “Mistress, you will damage your teeth that way.”

Poliana refused to listen. She continued to grit her teeth, unable to think clearly. She has been brushing her teeth with salt five times a day because she cared about them, but at this moment, she didn’t care. The pain was blinding and Poliana felt an overwhelming sadness and loneliness.

And most of all.. She couldn’t stand the fact that this wasn’t fair at all.

Poliana screamed, “I.. Living as a woman.. Has done me no good at all! Nothing ever good came out of being a woman for me! It sucks that I have to do everythingggg.. a woman has to go through in a lifetime. This sucks so much..”

Only

Indeed, Poliana was born a woman. And indeed, her life as a woman has never been a good one. Only the strongest survived in her world of men, and just the fact that she was a woman made her physically weaker than most men.

But despite the unfairness of this world, Poliana did not despise being a woman. This was all thanks to Sir Batre, who taught her that being weak was worse than being a woman.

Poliana did not cry when she was raped because the others, the boys, were also raped. Of course, it was unfortunate she suffered from hemorrhoids.

This world did not show mercy to the weak. Most of the time, a woman was weaker than a man. However, anyone, even a woman, could work hard and become stronger. If she got on the top of the world, no one would be able to hurt her. Poliana always believed that a woman should not blame her misfortune on her gender. This was especially true because death did not discriminate between the strong and the weak.

But today.. Poliana realized that what she believed was not the truth. Today, Poliana blamed her pain and situation for being a woman. Today, she felt that she was treated unfairly because of her gender.

Poliana wished she was born a man. What an unfair world this was. If she really died, Poliana swore she could become a ghost that cursed all the men in the world forever.historical

‘I will curse that all men are required to give birth too! All the babies in the world should be born from men!’