Translated by BAD MACHINE.

Last edited: 20/04/2020

What Bash pulled out was a jar about the width and height of his hand.

It was topped off with a thick steel lid on top of which was glued a skinny paper tag adorned with a magic circle.

Inside the bottle was what seemed to be a miniature human being.

Emitting a faint glow from its body, it was about thirty centimeters tall. A pair of small translucent wings adorned its back.

It was a Faerie.

“You.. you’re..”

The faerie seemed surprised to see Bash. She grimaced, seemingly struggling to speak.

Apparently, the magical tag not only prevented them from escaping, but also kept them from expressing themselves vocally.

With a sharp jerk of his hand, Bash ripped the tag off the lid, and forcefully twisted the jar open.

As soon as it was freed, the Fairy flew out of the jar at full tilt, circled around Bash a couple of times, and finally ran straight into his face, giving him a big open-armed hug.

“~Mister~! Long time no see!”

Bash delicately grabbed the squirming Faerie with his fingertips, making sure to not crush them, and pulled them off his face.

The Faerie, caught between Bash’s thick fingers, kept struggling to rush back at his head, her arms open in a wide embrace.

“Hey Mister! Oh, thank god! I thought I’d be in there forever! Trapped in a jar for the rest of my life! I really thought I’d never get out of there if you hadn’t saved me. You’re always there to help me out, you know? Huh? Mister? What’s wrong with your face? Did you forget about me?”

“Ha, how could I forget.”

They were acquaintances.

This Faerie’s name was Zell.

Or at least that’s what Bash called her. He was pretty sure she had mentioned her actual name once, but he didn’t remember.

During the war, the Faeries and Orcs had allied together.

Faeries were quick, nimble fliers, and the dust that fell off their bodies had restorative properties.

But they were also small and vulnerable, with wind magic being their only means of offense. They weren’t suited to be soldiers.

And so, the Faeries were sent to work with the Orc Nation and took on the roles of messengers, agents, and healers.

Zell was one of the Faeries from the intelligence department dispatched to the Orc Nation as a messenger, and she often came in contact Bash to relay orders and inform him of the war’s current state.

Incidentally, the Faeries initially joined the Seven Race Federation led by the Daemons because they were being oppressed by the Humans.

Faeries are highly prized in human lands for their ornamental and therapeutic properties.

After the war, the Faeries also took part in signing the non-aggression pact that ended the conflict.

Despite the treaty, the capture and illegal trafficking of Faeries still went on to this very day. There was no lack of imprisoned Faeries who would spend the rest of their lives in captivity.

Out of all the races, Faeries may have very well been the most oppressed species post-war.

“Well, mister, how did you know I got captured?”

“I didn’t. I just ran into this situation while on my way.”

“Huh, a coincidence ....?”

As soon as Bash loosened his grip on the Faerie, Zell sped out of the carriage and began taking in the surroundings.

Preferring to see things with their own eyes rather than trusting words.

Must be a scout thing.

And as soon she saw that the pair of dead horses, she rushed back at breakneck speeds, catching Bash’s ear on the way back and tugging on it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mister! This isn’t good! You can’t attack a human carriage! It’s against the treaty! It’s against the treaty!”

“Hey, hey! It wasn’t me! I didn’t attack anyone. It was a pack of Bugbears.”

“Would you believe me if I told you that!? They’ll see a busted carriage and an Orc right next to it! Those simple-minded humans will jump to the immediate conclusion that this was an Orc attack! Orcs destroyed the carriage! Come on, let’s get out of here! If anyone else were to see you like this, they’ll get a strike force ready in a jiffy and send them on a subjugation mission with destination : YOU!”

[A fight? Bring it, I’ll take them on!]

Is what Bash would have liked to say, but that would be counterproductive given that he was about to head out in search of a wife in Human lands.

He decided to do just as Zell suggested and quietly left.

“So, how’d you get caught?”

Once they were far enough away from the carriage wreck, Bash questioned Zell again.

Zell was supposed to have returned to Faerie Country after the war concluded.

Sure, the Faeries were being hunted down by Humans, but their homeland was surrounded by steep cliffs and was impossibly hard to navigate – unless you were a Faerie, of course.

And even if they were to get the drop on her, Zell was one of the quickest and swiftest Faeries around. There was no way any ordinary Human could ever catch up to her.

“Yeah, well that’s the thing. I got bored, so I left. There isn’t anything to do back there in Faerie Land. I’m curious! And adventurous! Even though I’m small! And that’s why I’m always on the lookout for something new and exciting.”

“Ok, ok, all right.”

“Awh, that’s the boss for ya~! I knew you’d understand me!”

They most likely left the country out of sheer boredom, were found frolicking in a flower garden somewhere on the outskirts of a Human town, or were caught either sniffing a potion out of curiosity, or were hit with sleeping magic..

It wasn’t hard to see how an ephemeral creature like a Faerie could be caught by a dull, slow Human.

“Ahh, I’m kinda glad I got caught though. I’m so lucky to be reunited with my boss here~”

Said Zell, flitting around Bash.

Faeries are a cheerful race, and they were especially fond of mischief.

They were known to jitter and move around excessively when their emotions got the better of them.historical

“Well, Mister, why are you here? Oh, I heard that you finally got named a Hero in Orc Country. Congratulations on earning the Hero title! And if you’re the Orc hero, you’re second only to the Chief, aren’t you? I thought you’d be living it up nice and easy, having earned the respect of all Orcs and all that, you know? Just chilling out in your big house, you know? You have a big house now right?”

“..”

“Or maybe.. did you maybe kill the Chief out of jealousy, and now you’re on the run? No, no, you wouldn’t do that.. Oh! Did someone frame you with his murder? Out of jealousy because you’re the Hero? And you had to make a desperate escape from your jail cell, leaving your village behind and fleeing into the night! What a tragedy! Don’t worry, I’ll help you get revenge! Just tell me where they are and ill go ~zipzip~ and slit all of their throats!”

“Nobody is jealous of anybody here. The Chief is alive and well.”

No Orc would be jealous of someone that had earned the right to be called a Hero.

A Hero is someone who has left their mark in history through their achievements.

Jealousy? No, all Orcs would admire their hero.

There were exceptions, of course, but generally, Orcs don’t feel envy towards those with more merit – it was simply the natural order of things; you accomplish more, you earn more.

“So why?”

Bash suddenly felt at a loss for words.

He couldn’t admit that he was on a journey to lose his virginity.

He wasn’t sure what to answer.

“Ah, if you don’t wanna tell me, that’s fine. But I’ve always helped my boss, both during the war, and even just now. Do you remember? The first time we met? I got captured by a human soldier, and he was going all: “Ehehehe, you don’t need arms or legs to give off your Faerie dust, do you? Ehehe.” And I really thought it was over! But then you came dashing in and went: “You don’t need arms or legs to go to hell, do you?” And then you tore off both his arms and both his legs! Gosh, that was exhilarating.. I fell in love with you right then and there! Seriously! And that’s when I decided I would follow my boss for the rest of my life from that day onwards. Anyhow, that’s why I want to help you in any way I can.. Sigh, I wonder if my clumsy boss can really understand this Faerie’s delicate and wholesome feelings..”

With a brush of his hand, Bash waved off Zell, who was striking a cheery pose in front of him.

When he thought about, Bash really didn’t have any real-world knowledge about any races other than Orcs.

All he knew was which species were suitable for breeding, and which were not, and even that information was hearsay that came from other Orcs.

Zell, on the other hand, used to be a messenger and intelligence officer, so she knew a lot about the lifestyles and characteristics of the world’s various other races.

She is also pretty good at information gathering.

There was no doubt that she would be a great help to Bash’s current endeavours.

“I’m on a journey to look for a.. wife.”

“A wife, huh..”

Zell suddenly stopped flying around and came to a complete standstill.

She kept on looking inquisitively at Bash’s face, her brows furrowed as if in deep thought.

Embarrassed, he averted his eyes, thinking that this was it – that he was about to be exposed as a virgin.

Zell paused for a couple of seconds, and suddenly clapped his hands.

“A wife, huh! Wives are a super-duper-special thing for Orcs, right? And if you’re a Hero, like my boss right here, it wouldn’t be surprising if you already had a wife.. But with the whole situation going on in Orc Country right now, after losing the war and all, you can’t find a wife that lives up to your standards, right? And so, that’s why you left on your own on a journey to finally find the one..”

“Yeah.. that’s about right.”

Zell’s interpretation of the situation was almost identical to the Orc King’s.

Obviously, if you knew Bash and how he’s a Hero and all, that’s what you’d think.

Yes, this was the insight of “Zell the Wise(self-proclaimed title)”!

“Gosh, I’m so smart! If only I wasn’t a Faerie, I’d be down to be your wife too!”

Faeries were physically tiny, so much so that it was impossible for them to reproduce with other species.

In the first place, they were an odd race that didn’t even properly distinguish between their male and female members.

And this was one of the reasons why they were able to form a common front with the orcs..

Anyway, she was more than inadequate as a wife candidate.

“All right!”

Zell looked deep in thought for a moment, rubbing her tiny chin with her tiny fingers.

And then struck her fist into her chest.

“Okay! You want a wife? I gotchu, just leave it all to me! These days there aren’t many women out there who are down with being wed to an Orc.. But if it’s you.. If it’s you, I’m sure you could find 10, no 20 candidates in no time! After all, even I want to be your wife! Don’t worry, I’ll help you find ‘em!”

Bash was well aware of Zell’s abilities and her wartime prowess.

She had risked her life countless times, infiltrating deep into enemy lines to collect and return with valuable intel.

When it came to gathering information, even amongst the Faeries, she was one of the best.

But he also knew that she had been captured and nearly killed quite a few times..

But they weren’t at war anymore.

If all Bash was doing was looking for a wife, there would be little danger.

It wouldn’t be an issue to rely on her.

“If you’re sure of yourself, I’ll leave it to you.”

“Yup, just leave it to me! Let’s hurry and get to the town! Not like we’ll find any beautiful ladies in these woods anyways. Let’s go, go, go!”

And so, Bash was reunited with his old comrade-in-arms, Zell.

Orcs and Faeries, together once again.

And with that, the pair set out towards the Land of Humans.

Psst, enjoying my translations? Appreciate our favorite Orc’s adventures? Consider throwing a coin my way through KO-FI.