"will i see you today?" he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

"you can see me anytime you want. i was going to pack, but if you need me at the gym, i'll be there."

"no, i think i can manage...just." he laughs once under his breath. "pack your bags and i'll call you later."

"okay."

"i love you." his three little words make me smile widely and i turn my body so i don't see my cheesy smile in the mirror on my dresser.

"i love you, too."

he lingers on the line for a few seconds longer before sighing and hanging up. i don't know what goes through his head sometimes. i lob my phone onto my bed and place my hands on my hips. i don't have to pull my suitcase out from any hidden nook-it's already open on the floor of my room. i step toward it, lifting my feet higher than normal so no tricky clothes wrap themselves around my toes and trip me. i kneel beside the suitcase and run the palms of my hands down my thighs, letting a heavy exhale fall from me. finally, i reach out and begin sorting through the clothes as i pack for the biggest adventure of my life.

chapter fifteen

seth

i lean against my car, my hands stuffed into my jeans as i wait for olivia. portland is surprisingly cold at four-thirty in the morning. apparently, darryl booked the earliest flights he could get. he's all about making the most of his day and he doesn't want to spend the bulk of it sitting in an airplane. by my calculations, we get on the plane at five-thirty a.m. and we'll be in nevada by eleven a.m. not bad, but it's still too goddamn long for me. i'd much rather drive the two thousand, eight hundred and eighteen miles to get there and avoid falling from the sky. i've been lucky so far, but how long can i dance with death? one of these days, he and karma might decide they're sick of my shit and send me plummeting into the ocean.

i'm jerked from images of a falling, fiery death by the sound of olivia's front door opening and the screen slapping against the brick wall. seeing her immediately eases some of my hesitation and i push off of the car and make my way through the gate to grab her suitcase for her. she looks adorable in a white hooded jacket and black slacks. olivia smiles sleepily at me and i can't help but smile back. she's too pretty not to smile at, even when she's mad.

"good morning," she greets me, making my heart feel all stupid and warm.

"good morning," i reply, taking her suitcase and pushing it behind me.

forgetting the luggage, i grab olivia's jacket and tug her to me. her sleepy face wakes up the instant i press my body against hers. i don't know why i always pull her into me...but i feel better when i'm touching her. i feel at peace, like everything is okay. her green eyes study my face, watching me closely. i want to kiss her. i'm going to kiss her. i lower my mouth to her, barely pressing my lips against hers. i pause for a little while, listening to her quick breathing. i love the way i affect her and i know if i slipped my hands into her pants, she'd be wet and ready for me-she always is. as i press my lips harder against hers, her mom, sandra, trails out behind her carrying a long black bag.

"don't forget your dress, olivia. morning, seth."

olivia snaps away from me, like i'm a hot plate she absentmindedly put her hands on. i smile, amused by her reaction. olivia takes the dress from her mother and briefly looks at me, her pink cheeks flaring before she takes the dress to the car. an awkward silence fills the air between sandra and i. i know sandra isn't exactly my number one fan, but i also know she likes me enough to be with her daughter.

"i'm going to ask her to marry me," i tell sandra flat out, no bullshit.

her thin, brown eyebrows almost rise to her hairline, but she tries to play my announcement off as no big deal. "are you now?"

"yes, while we're in vegas. and i'm going to take her from this house and put her in mine."

the corner of sandra's lips twitch, her sludgy, green eyes narrowing in on me. "i get the feeling you're not asking for my permission?"

i shake my head. "no, ma'am. i'm telling you how things are going to go."

she folds her arms. she looks so tiny in her floral robe. "you're awfully confident olivia is going to say yes."

"i am," i say and my stomach churns with the lie. i don't know why i feel so much apprehension about her response. she loves me. she tells me almost every day, but she's also flighty and unpredictable. there's a chance she'll say no or not yet and my mission in vegas is to take away those chances. when i'm positive she'll do anything for me, i'll ask her and i won't ask her the traditional way. no. i'll ask her the 'seth' way so she never fucking forgets it.

"well, you have my approval...even if you don't want it."

her words catch me off guard and i'm suddenly frozen, incapable of speech. did she just give me permission? did sandra james give me, seth marc, her blessing? i fight the urge to pinch myself to see if i'm dreaming.

"thank you."

she flicks her hand at me and i snatch it, pulling her into a hug. instead of swatting me away like i expected, she chuckles and quickly pats my back. when i release her and she steps back, she swipes at her eyes and turns her back to me.

"safe travels. keep my baby safe."

before i can respond, she enters the house and shuts the door. i grab the suitcase and turn toward the car, olivia has the door open and both she and selena are staring at me, their eyes bulging out of their skulls.

"what?" i ask as i open the gate and step through it.

"nothing," they respond in unison.

i approach the rear of the car and put the last suitcase inside. olivia and selena's suitcase takes up the most space, leaving just enough room for the rest of us.

thankfully, jackson is in the front seat and selena is in the back. i swear to god if i have to listen to one more make out session or moan fall from either of their lips i'm going to snap. i climb into the backseat and olivia immediately snuggles into me. i haven't seen her since i called her last. i've been so busy sorting out the gym for our leave and dealing with lawyers i haven't had time to show her any attention.

on the plus side, my lawyers told me the mmac is reviewing the settlement details. they refuse to let don go, they want to draft him at some point and this little...predicament is the only thing stopping them.

darryl drives towards the airport. i wrap my arm around olivia's shoulder, pulling her closer. i want to touch her-to smell her. i need anything and everything from her, to make up for her absence.

"you amaze me," olivia mumbles, her voice loud enough for only me to hear over the sound of the soft music. i glance down at her, taking in the sharp angles of her face and her kind eyes and juicy, soft lips.

"me?"

she nods without an explanation and i don't press her. i can survive off those words alone. her eyes don't drop from mine and i keep watching her, waiting for her to look away. instead, i feel a build up of electricity starting in my chest and radiating south. suddenly, my surroundings fade away and she holds all of my attention. i run my fingers up her neck and across her cheek to her bottom lip. her lips part, her tongue emerges, and i watch as it licks the top of my finger-so soft and wet. i can't help but wonder what her tongue feels like against other parts of my anatomy and i shift slightly in my seat, hoping to make my jeans feel less...tight. my mouth runs dry and if it were just us, i'd pull over and moisten it with the taste of her. i'd let her soak every inch of fabric in the car with her delicious wetness.

i slip my finger from her mouth, but keep my gaze locked on her lips. she straightens her back, bringing her mouth closer to mine and then she kisses me. it's slow and quiet, going unnoticed by the other three. my eyes close and i run the back of my finger along her jawline. then, i crack under my urges and grip her jaw, forcing her mouth harder against mine. i feel her breath being sucked from her lungs and i swear i hear her heartbeat pick up and her pussy become slick with need.

"easy now." i hear selena giggle. "my makeup isn't water proof."

olivia pulls away from me and rests against my shoulder. i hear jackson laugh in the front seat and see the side of darryl's face as he smiles. "neither is my phone."

silence falls in the car for a split second before it's broken by laughter-from all of us and soon after, we dive into conversations about vegas and what we should do there. darryl is first to pipe in.

"we're unavailable five hours a day, every day, leading up to the fight. that's two hours in the morning-four a.m. to six a.m. one hour during the day, eleven a.m. to twelve p.m., and then four p.m. to six p.m." he clears his throat. "outside of those times, you're free to do whatever you like-except all of the things you're not allowed to do like drinking, or doing something stupid that can put you at risk."

"strip clubs aren't bad for you," jackson chimes in and i feel olivia go rigid against me.

i rake my teeth over my bottom lip, recalling the last time we went to a strip club. it was such a stupid move on my part. olivia wanted to stay home, but i was the designated driver and i forced her to come out with us. we all made a few bad decisions that night and olivia suffered the consequences for all of them.

"no strip clubs," olivia orders. "i'm not making out with a stripper again. it was disturbing enough the first time."

jackson roars with laughter and i hear him slap his thighs. "jesus christ, that was so funny. every time i picture your face when she kissed you, i laugh. you were a deer in headlights."

"yes. ha. ha. laugh it up."

i stroke olivia's arm with my thumb as selena speaks. "i've always wanted to go to a strip club in vegas. we have to."

"going to vegas and not going to a strip club is like going to paris and not bothering with the eiffel tower. what's the point?" jackson chimes in.

selena agrees.

"no one is stopping you guys from going, but don't expect me to tag along," olivia states, yawning.

the car fills with lively chatter about all of vegas's endless possibilities and all i can think about is snuggling with olivia in my spare time. fuck the casinos. fuck the strip clubs. i want to lie in bed with my girl and enjoy every second i can because the closer i get to my first pro fight, the more unnerved i know i'll become. i'm two weeks out and i already feel anxious...my first pro fight...in las vegas, nevada, at the mgm grand in front of thousands of spectators as well as being broadcasted across the sports network. i need my head in the game, not in some stripper's breasts or in a poker machine.

i'm not in las vegas for pleasure. it's business only and i will treat it as such.

we drive along las vegas boulevard, but i'm still too nervous from the plane ride to really appreciate it. i rest my head against the headrest while olivia and selena stick their heads out of the limo sunroof like little puppies. i almost smile. i was the same the first time i rode in a limo. it's hot in nevada and the open sunroof doesn't allow for the air conditioning to work to its full potential.

"shutting the roof!" darryl calls through the front window, as if reading my mind.

darryl decided he'll drive the limo, not trusting anyone else to chauffeur his precious cargo around. here's an unknown fact about darryl, he has a license to drive a bus, a car, a limo, and a truck. how many of them fall under the same license category, i have no idea, but it's still impressive.

selena and olivia drop down, nestling comfortably in their seats with a remaining fit of giggles shaking their bodies. their faces are flushed with the outside heat and as soon as the roof closes, i feel the cooler air brush over my skin.

i watch as olivia slides across the leather seats and right into me. my eyes flit to her nice sky blue blouse. it clings to her slim waist and hips, exposing a small portion of her cleavage, too. the fabric is thin and i know i can easily ruin it with my teeth. she removed her jacket a long time ago and i've had the pleasure of carrying it around with me.

during the day, vegas is still surprisingly busy, filled with the tourists who want to avoid vegas's nightlife. i don't blame them. the nightlife here in vegas can get pretty wild. everyone is looking to make their own hangover story and to indulge in all of the city's darkest pleasures.

we slowly make our way up las vegas boulevard and soon enough, we arrive at the mgm grand. the others waste no time in clambering excitedly from the car, but i wait a little while to gather my thoughts. olivia waits too, watching me curiously.

"you made it to vegas," she tells me and i look at her.

she tucks a lock of long, chocolate hair behind her ear and her lips curve with the hint of a smile. "i'm proud of you."

her long, soft fingers slide over the back of my hand that lies idly in my lap. i don't know why i feel so out of it. my chest aches and the warmer air makes it harder for me to breathe. this is the beginning of my new life-the life i never really expected to have. i made it through hard work and dedication...so why do i suddenly feel like i'm not strong enough to be here? the feeling of impending failure is weighing down on me and i can't shake it and i haven't been able to since i fell asleep last night. i guess i always expected this to fall to pieces. every good thing i get never works out and i'm cautious as to why this is all still happening for me.

"you're dead weight," dad's voice rings throughout my mind.