"i don't fucking think so!" jackson shouts, pushing past me. he advances on the man, and with a yelp, selena ducks as jackson grabs a fistful of the guy's shirt and drives his fist into his face. he releases selena and stumbles backward, clenching his face as blood leaks from his nose and seeps through his fingers. there's a pause... a long, tense pause, then there's a shout and all hell breaks loose.

i bunch up selena's stuff and hand it to her. "take your things and meet us at the car." she takes off without hesitation as security and people swarm into the bar. chairs are flying and blood is going in every direction. a riot. i actually started a riot. don is glaring at me from the other side of the bar, over the top of the brawl. he can't hit me, but i can see it on his face, he's never wanted to hit me as badly as he does now and i take it as a win. i beat him at his own game.

i'm pulled from my stare down with don as i'm shoved forward. my heart rate increases and i whirl around. it's don's sparring partner... all seven feet of him. i've never fought anyone so much taller than me before. he swings and i duck, wrapping my arms around his hips. i drive him backward until we crash and fall over the prostrate stools. i pin him to the floor and rear my fist back. as i let it go, it's caught and doesn't connect with his face. i look over my shoulder.

"darryl?"

"get out, seth!" he snaps, pulling me off the guy. "i warned you and look what's happened!"

"darr-"

he turns his dark eyes on me and i nod. i've never seen them look so dark. i've pissed darryl off a lot in the past-probably more than i should have-but never have i ever seen him this mad. i push through the fighting, ducking and dodging stray fists. security guards are swearing and demanding people to back off. in the distance, i hear police sirens blaring and i wipe the sweat off my head. as i make my way through the hotel, my heart continues to pulse at a rapid speed and a heavy feeling sinks in my stomach. now i have to go home to olivia... the girl whose lips mine weren't against just minutes ago. forget what selena said, i have to tell her. she'll understand when i explain it. if there's one thing olivia is, it's understanding. i have to make it up to her. i don't want her to think for a second that i desire someone else.

she is mine...

i slump against a wall and drop my head. ...i don't want anyone else.

my phone buzzes in my pocket as darryl drives us back to the hotel. selena and jackson sit in the back, but they're ignoring each other-everyone is ignoring each other. i don't mind it. the silence gives me time to gather my thoughts and work out exactly what i'm going to say to olivia. with a heavy exhale, i reach for my phone. i don't bother looking at the screen as i bring it to my ear.

"hello?"

"ah, seth. i can't say i was expecting you to answer my call." matt somers' voice rings through my ear. "quite a mess you left for me to clean up today. you cost me a lot of money."

"that's what you wanted."

"what i wanted was a display of feathers, maybe a little rough housing. not a goddamn riot."

a tense silence fills the ear piece and then he chuckles under his breath. "i want to be mad at you. i want to demand that payment for the damages comes out of your pocket and you deal with the legal proceedings... but, i won't. your stunt sold an extra three thousand seats."

i frown. "it did?"

"oh yeah. taking both of don's girls, that was genius. he's gone mad, posting how badly he wants to destroy you all over the social networks. he even did an interview for the local paper. people are buzzing and that's exactly what we want."

matt is counting this as a win... so why do i feel like shit? "right."

"we're over our margin, too, so no more pressure for public disturbances. i don't want you costing me anymore money."

i relax at his words, letting my head fall back against the headrest. "all right."

"and hey, maybe olivia and my wife can get together sometime and share tips. my wife loses her shit when she catches me with other girls." he laughs a sinister laugh and farewells me before hanging up. i lower the phone, resting it against my thigh. now it's over... i'm really starting to regret it.

"he's not mad," i tell darryl, who doesn't blink an eye in my direction. "and he said i shouldn't have to make another public appearance with don."

"good. now all that's left for me to do is feel sorry for-"

"don't feel sorry for me," i cut him off bluntly.

"i don't feel sorry for you." he snaps his head in my direction, his dark eyes narrowing. "a man could be holding me at knife point, threatening to slit my throat and i still wouldn't betray my wife. it's olivia i feel sorry for. she has to be seen out in public with you after you've been seen with a random woman and her best friend. " he looks back to the road. "i thought i taught you better than that."

"it's not like that, darryl."

"isn't it?"

"no, it's not," i growl at him. "olivia will understand."

he nods slowly. "that's what upsets me."

my entire body tightens and my fists clench. "what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"she is going to forgive you-even you know that. olivia doesn't know any better... and it upsets me because she deserves better. she deserves better than blade... and she gets stuck with you. after you tell her, and you will tell her, you best spend the rest of your life making it up to her... or someone else will."

i turn my head towards the window. i don't want to talk about it with him anymore. he has a unique talent for making you feel worse than you already do. i've always known that olivia deserves better than me and i tell myself that every damn day... and now i've given her a reason to tell herself that every day, too. she's going to look at me and see me as the monster that put his career before her-who put his lips on her best friend.

i feel sick.

i feel like a fucking sell out.

softly, i tap my fingers against the door to our room. i'm not quite ready to bring myself to swipe the keycard. once i open the door, my life is going to change-our relationship is going to change regardless of whether i tell olivia what happened today or not.

"are you going to open the door?" selena asks, her voice thick with attitude.

i glance over my shoulder at her. jackson didn't say a word to either of us as we entered the hotel. him and darryl went their separate ways, leaving selena and i to handle olivia. they were both pissed at us... maybe i shouldn't have kissed selena that second time.

"give me a minute."

selena's voice takes on a cautious tone. "you're not going to tell her, are you?"

squeezing my eyes shut, i pinch the bridge of my nose. "i have to."

"seth-"

"she is my wife!" i snap as quiet as i can. "i can't keep secrets from her... and i won't. the kiss didn't mean anything, we did it for matt, right?"

she nods her head in confidence. "right, but olivia isn't going to see it that way. trust me, seth, i know her better than anybody. she's going to explode, like a grenade."

it's when people say these kinds of things to me i wonder if they know her at all. olivia doesn't explode, she talks. she wants to know every thought and feeling behind every decision. i'm going to hurt her and i'm probably going to make her cry, but i won't lose her. i know she'll understand. she has to understand.

"you might know her better than darryl or jackson, but you don't know her better than me, and if you're so driven to keep something like this from her, perhaps you should surrender your best friend title."

she blows out an offended breath of air. "you can deal with this one on your own, then. i'm going to see jackson." she whirls around on her heel, sending her curls everywhere. "don't come crying to me if she explodes in your face."

choosing to ignore her dramatic exit, i swipe my keycard and enter the room. it's dead quiet and it forces a guilty panic to rise in my throat. does she already know? i close the door, straining to hear any sound coming from olivia. nothing. i peer around every corner and around every object before finally making it to the stairs that lead to our bedroom. step by step i take until i reach the very top.

"seth?" olivia sniffles from the bathroom. "is that you?"

her voice crashes into me and i stop. i run my hand over my face, inhaling heavily and expelling it quietly. "yeah?"

"i, uh, i waited for you..."

i step closer to the bathroom and each shoe feels like it's filling with wet sand.

"i thought we could do this together... if you want."

suddenly the room i'm standing in becomes claustrophobic. it doesn't feel like my place. i feel my pulse pounding away in all major points of my body-neck, wrist, chest, ankles-and my ribcage clamps down on my lungs. i run the palms of my hands over my jeans to reduce some of the sweat, but it keeps coming.

"seth?" she peers around the bathroom door and the sight of her bright, green eyes still me. have they always been so bright? so beautiful?

my pulse slows to normal and i feel it only in my chest. her hair is a tangled mess, her cheeks are pink and flustered and her lips a swollen red. i've been out doing stupid, selfish shit and she's been here the whole time worrying about us, thinking about us. i swallow my anxiety... because she needs me. she needs my support. i stroll closer and the sand filters from my shoes with every step i take, getting lighter and lighter until she's in my arms. her small limbs wrap around my body, squeezing me to her as hard as they can.

"we're going to be okay?" she whispers, her fingers digging in.

"i promise." i don't hesitate with my response... maybe if i say it fast enough it'll come true.

olivia drags in a shaky inhale and releases me. swiping at her eyes, she turns around. we enter the bathroom, a bathroom that suddenly seems too small to fit us both. i lean against the sink as she paces back and forth, making me nervous. she taps the test in the palm of her hand, over and over to some irregular beat. i don't rush her. instead, i watch... just waiting for her to decide when to do it and secretly hoping she doesn't.

"all right," she mutters under her breath. "it's now or never."

nervously, she taps the little white stick against her hand again before dropping her hands to the buttons on her jeans. they pop open and she drags the denim down her legs before quickly lowering herself onto the toilet. my pulse stutters as she peers shyly up at me through her long, dark lashes. "can you look away?"

"me?" i say, feigning insult. "it's nothing i haven't seen before."

"you've seen a girl pee on a stick?"

i shrug, giving her a lazy smile. "i've seen worse."

"ew." olivia cringes with a giggle. "i guess i kinda walked into that one, huh?"

i nod, laughing. "i guess you kinda did."

she pulls the cap off of the stick, revealing a small white tab. she swiftly slips it between her legs, hiding it from sight. "fine, you can watch, but don't listen."

"i'm standing less than six feet away. how am i suppose-" i pause and stick my fingers in my ears. "better?"

her plump little lips curve into an innocent smile and her lips move, but i don't hear what she's saying. she drops her eyes to the floor and surveys the tiles. i do the same. thirty seconds barely pass and she shifts on the toilet, pulling my attention. she brings the stick back into view and i hold my breath as she stares at it. her eyes don't falter or betray any sign of what it says. she reaches for the cap and clips it back into place. i look away again, giving her privacy while she finishes what she's doing. when she's on her feet with her jeans all buttoned up, i pull my fingers from my ears and cross my arms tightly over my chest. olivia's face is neutral and it's like i'm a ghost she can't even see. she crosses the bathroom and places the stick face down on the counter so i can't peek. i grow anxious... i chew the inside of my lip and stare down at the stick... what does it say?

she turns to me, finally, but she avoids my face.

"one means no," she whispers. "two means-"

an invisible balloon in my chest deflates as she falls against the counter, her hands flying to her face as she cries into her palms. i'm unable to move... completely frozen by what i'm seeing. i reach for the stick and roll it over.

fuck.

i guess two lines mean yes...

chapter ten

olivia

five tiny breaths. i take five tiny breaths and lower my hands from my face. the stick confirmed my fear... the fear of a small baby growing inside of my body. already my body feels alien to me, like i'm split in two. seth stares at the stick... his face void of any emotion.

"say something..." i utter, raking my teeth painfully over my bottom lip. "say anything..."

he runs a large hand over his mouth before squeezing his chin. when it drops from his face, he pushes off of the counter and rakes his fingers through his hair. i watch him closely and i see him become more and more anxious with every second that passes. it's going to be okay, i comfort myself, he promised... and seth has never broken a promise to me.