"i wouldn't dream of saying anything," i answered, rising from the couch.

i smiled as she took a visibly relieved breath.

"ready to go?" i asked.

"yes," she answered, obviously ready to leave behind the scene of the crime.

chuckling at the evident relief in her voice, i innocently placed my hand on the small of her back. the warmth of her skin beneath her sweater made me feel nothing close to gentlemanly as i guided her toward the door. looking her up and down from behind, i wondered if her smooth skin would feel as soft against my lips as it had looked a few minutes prior.

no longer able to resist, i turned her body with my hand until she was facing me.

she looked up at me with hooded eyes, and i could tell my touch was affecting her much in the same manner it was me. without pause, i crushed my lips to hers. unlike the kiss earlier that day, there was nothing playful about this one. i needed her to know just how badly i wanted her. i dragged her into my arms until her body was flush against mine, devouring her sigh of surprise as she felt my arousal. our tongues merged together in a tantalizing dance. each stroke made the fire inside me burn hotter, consuming me. in a more rational part of my brain, i worried i was hurting her as i crushed her even tighter in my arms, but when i tried to pull back, her hands reached up to my head, pulling me closer. this time it was me who groaned in surprise as she took control of the kiss. she rubbed her body seductively against mine, grinding her hips against the bulge that wanted to burst out of my jeans. i placed my hands firmly around her waist and backed her up against the door so she could feel exactly what she was doing to me. she moaned with pleasure and hiked up a leg around me, keeping me pinned against her. with one hand, i held her leg up and rolled my hips, smiling with satisfaction as she panted against my lips with need. she was close to no return and i could sense by her erratic movements the sensation was new to her. the need to bury myself in her was overpowering, but i ignored my own needs as i rocked against her again. she whimpered against my lips. breaking the kiss, i trailed my lips over her cheek and past her neck until they were on her ear. gripping her ass in my free hand, i pulled her as close to me as our clothed state would allow.

"let it come," i murmured in her ear, rocking against her one last time. the shudders radiated throughout her body as her release took over.

"oh, god," she sighed once the quaking in her body was under control. "i'm pretty sure i should be mortified at what just happened, but oh, god," she repeated, dropping her head to my chest as her soft body sagged against mine.

"that may be the single most erotic moment of my life," i said, dropping a kiss on the back of her exposed neck.

"how is that possible? you didn't...uh," she stammered as embarrassment finally reared its head. "we could-d-d go to my r-o-0-m," she offered, stumbling over her words.

"it was erotic because you make the most amazing noises when you enjoy something. as enticing as your bedroom sounds, i think i'll allow the intensity of the main course to build since the appetizer was so delectable," i breathed into her ear before dropping a hard kiss on her lips. "now, let's go eat before i take you up on your offer."

chapter 9: a first date from hell

ashton

my legs were still shaking as nathan helped me into his range rover. i was embarrassed at my wanton behavior, but i couldn't help thinking how good his body had felt against mine. his lips heated me from the inside out while his movements had done things my body had never felt before. i'd seen plenty of movies and heard girls talking about it over the years, but i'd been pretty convinced they over-glorified what an orgasm felt like. i mean, really, how could it be so fantastic when girls often used the same word to describe a delicious bite of food or chocolate? now i knew. what i had just experienced went beyond food or chocolate. nothing compared to it.

"so, what are you thinking?" nathan teased, climbing into the driver's seat.

i flushed, making it clear where my thoughts had just been. i glanced out the window willing my blush to disappear.

"sweetheart, there's nothing to be embarrassed about," nathan said, reaching over to pat my knee before resting his hand there.

the heat of his palm burned through my pants, making me shift slightly as desire slowly crept in again. i was shocked that i wanted him again so quickly.

"it's just new to me," i admitted, biting my lip.

"are you a virgin?" he asked frankly as his hand tightened slightly on my knee.

"no," i answered, feeling myself blush all over again. "would it matter?" i asked, curious to what he was thinking.

"yes, no-i don't know. if you were, it would change things," he admitted.

"how so?" i asked, more than a little curious about what that had to do with anything.

"it probably wouldn't sit well if i took your virginity in this 'no attachments' arrangement we have going on."

"so, why were you unsure a minute ago? you first said yes, but then changed to no."

"that was the greedy bastard in me talking. i'd like nothing more than to be the only person who has had these legs wrapped around him," he answered, stroking my leg with his hand for emphasis.

"oh," i said, licking my sudden dry lips at his words. it was overwhelming how a few simple words could leave me squirming with anticipation.

"you really need to not do that while i'm driving," he chastised.

"do what?"

"gnaw on your lip. you know damn well what you're doing," he said, tightening his hand on my leg.

the power i seemed to hold over him right now made me smile, but i settled back in my seat as he merged onto the highway. we rode in silence for several minutes as the desire that burned between us simmered down to a low sizzle.

"so, where are you from, ashton?" he asked, breaking the silence.

i weighed my answer carefully before speaking. i was unsure how much of my past i was willing to divulge. "florida," i finally answered, ignoring the knot of tension in my stomach.

"really? me too. whereabouts?" he asked conversationally.

the interior of the vehicle felt like it was closing in around me. i instantly regretted my honesty. i should have made up another state. "um, near palm coast," i lied, naming a city miles away from my true hometown. "what about you?" i asked, silently praying he didn't say palm coast too.

"over near tampa," he answered as i let out a pent-up breath.

"that's a nice area," i answered, breathing easier.

"like every city, it has its good and bad areas. i've lived in both."

i nodded my head like i could relate, when in reality i couldn't. my family had never wanted for anything. my grandfather made a name for himself in computer software before anyone realized how much computers would affect their lives. my father followed in his footsteps by designing computer programs before he even graduated from high school. money was never an issue for me. i had gone to the best schools, hung out with the wealthiest of kids and went to the college of my choice. my life had been steeped in privilege. of course, no amount of money can protect you from the harsh cards life can deal you.

"do your parents still live there?" i finally asked when the silence between us stretched.

he shook his head. "no, my mom died a while back," he answered.

"i'm sorry," i said, resting my hand on top of his. "mine died when i was ten," i added before i could stop myself.

"ten? that's rough."

"yeah, it was a tough time for me. she was so filled with life that it was almost like someone had snuffed out the sun when she died."

"how did she die, if you don't mind me asking?" he asked.

"ovarian cancer. she was bad about going to doctors when she felt crummy. by the time they discovered it, it was too late. my dad took her to the hospital when she finally confessed something was wrong. she never came home," i said, trying to forget how my father had looked the night he had come home after she died. he'd looked like he'd been hit by a train. the light in his eyes went out that night and didn't return until many years later.

"shit. i'm sorry," he said, flipping his hand over so he could lace his fingers through mine.

"it's life," i said, shrugging like it didn't matter even though her death had shaped the person i was. i often wondered if my life would have turned out differently if she was still alive.

"it sucks, plain and simple," he said, seeing through my lie.

"what about your dad?" i asked, changing the subject. i was surprised when his hand spasmed in mine before abruptly releasing it. he gripped the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles turn white and his expression became unreadable. i was taken aback by the tension that radiated off of him.

"i'm not sure. i haven't spoken to the son of a bitch since he left my mom and me practically homeless so he could screw his secretary full-time," he clipped out. silence filled the vehicle. i wondered indecisively if i should comment or change the subject.

"fuck, whose idea was it to talk about family?" he asked wryly as some of the tension finally began to leave him.

"i think that honor falls on you," i said, smiling weakly at him.

"well, that was a shitty idea. let's talk about something more interesting."

"sounds like a plan," i agreed. "did you always want to be a journalist?" i asked, taking charge of the conversation.

"not really, i kind of fell into it. when i was younger, i wanted to be a cop. you know, catch the bad guys and save the day. when i was in high school, i discovered i was pretty good at writing. for a while, i entertained the idea of becoming an investigative journalist, but it never panned out. how about you?"

"you mean, did i always dream about working in some general store in the middle of nowhere?" i joked. "i actually wanted to be a children's psychologist in a hospital," i answered truthfully, ignoring the knots that had returned full force in my stomach.

"what changed?" he asked taking his eyes off the road long enough to peer at me.

"life," i answered truthfully. "sometimes life throws you a curveball and either you duck to avoid it, or you swing at it with all your might."

"which option did you take?"

"neither. i chose option three, which was to walk away."

"it's never too late to go back and swing," he said, pulling into the parking lot of quaint-looking italian restaurant.

"i don't want to swing," i said, trying to keep my voice light.

"so, you plan on working at fran's until you die?" he asked, sounding irritated.

"that's not really any of your business is it, since this is supposed to be a no-attachments relationship?" i snapped.

"hell, you're right. it's none of my business," he said, raking his fingers through his hair.

"maybe a no-attachments relationship isn't possible. we can't seem to make it an hour without delving into no man's land," i said, staring out my window, waiting for him to start the vehicle back up and take me home. we'd have to chalk up the whole charade as a failure.

i jumped when nathan opened his door and abruptly left the vehicle. he came around the range rover to my side. opening the door, he stepped closer, unlatched my seatbelt and pivoted my legs around in the seat so they were straddling him where he stood. "we can figure this out," he said.

"are you sure?" i whispered as his lips lowered to mine.

"i'm positive," he said, pulling my bottom lip gently into his mouth before releasing it. "it's like learning to ride a bike. sure, we're going to fall over a couple times, but the important thing is that we keep getting back on," he added, settling his lips firmly on mine. "you willing to give it a ride?" he asked, pulling back.

"as long as you don't fall in love with riding that bike," i emphasized.

"darling, i'm not going to lie. i'm going to enjoy riding that bike probably more than any other bike i've ever ridden, but i won't fall in love with it," he reassured me, hiking my leg up around his waist. "the question is: will you fall in love with the bike ride?"

"it's not possible for me to fall in love with any bike ride," i replied earnestly. "not anymore, anyway," i added, working to keep the pain the words caused out of my voice.

his eyes narrowed slightly and he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead, he reached out to help me climb from the vehicle. "let's eat," was all he said.

"how'd you find this place?" i asked as he held open the door of the restaurant for me.

"i asked fran. i figured she wouldn't steer me wrong. have you been here before?"

"no, i really haven't ventured out of woodfalls much since i moved there. i guess small-time life has not caught up to me. although, now that i'm here, it smells delicious," i answered as the scents of herbs and spices enticed my nose.

"so, why woodfalls?" he asked once we were seated.

"i wanted something that was completely different than florida. changing seasons, snow and ice skating, things like that, so i drove until i figured i was far enough north to get all of those. we never really went on vacation again after my mom died, so if i ever saw snow, i really don't remember it."

"no ski vacations while you were in college?" he inquired, handing me a breadstick from the basket the waitress had placed on our table.

"what makes you think i went to college?" i asked.

"did you?" he countered.

"well, yeah, but it's presumptuous to think i automatically went. plenty of people never go to college."

"why do you get so prickly when i ask about your past?" he asked.

i debated his question for a moment before answering. "i'm just not crazy talking about it. it's not a time of my life i like to talk about," i said, letting him know he was entering no man's land again.

"fair enough," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "what's your favorite color?" he asked, switching gears.

"it depends on my mood. what about you?" i asked, grateful he'd let the subject drop without making a big deal of it.

"i would have to say the same. although, i have found recently i'm quite fond of pink," he said, leaning over the small round table to brush his thumb over my bottom lip to emphasize his point. "i'm sure different shades of pink will be my favorite for a while," he added, dropping his eyes to my chest to make his point clear.