"justin. he's a player. he uses and moves on. just thought you should know," she said, fluffing her hair.

"thanks for the news flash. don't you have a 'woe is me' facebook status update to make or a picture to upload on instagram?" i asked.

"you don't have to be a bitch. i never would have pegged you as the type to go out with a playboy. i was just trying to help. trust me. i know from personal experience what a bastard he can be."

"yeah, well go 'help' someone else. any so-called advice you have to offer is neither needed nor asked for. got me?" i said, making my point clear.

"we'll see if you're still saying that when he leaves you high and dry for the next set of tits that catches his eye," she snipped, all honey gone from her voice.

"duly noted," i muttered, taking the steps two at a time to the second floor. my kiss-induced elation had dissipated by the time i made my way to my room.

"crap, it was that bad?" melissa asked, looking up from her nails she was painting.

without answering, i threw myself back on my bed, mulling kara's venomous words through my head. it wasn't like she had delivered earth-shattering news. i knew he had a colorful dating track record, but playing sloppy seconds to that bitch kara made me want to dry-heave. anyone else i could overlook, but a hookup with that twat was a different story.

"brittni, tell me. was he a complete dud?" melissa asked, throwing the stuffed turtle she kept on her bed at me.

"no. he was effing great, but i can't see him anymore," i said, feeling sick as i uttered the words aloud.

"why not? if he was so fantastic, why can't you see him anymore?" melissa demanded, throwing a pillow at me this time when i didn't answer her right away.

"because, he went out with twat-waffle kara," i moaned against her pillow that i had pulled over my face. i couldn't decide if i wanted to scream or smother myself.

"oh shit. please tell me you're joking?" melissa asked, making gagging noises.

"i wish. i ran into her downstairs, where she tried to warn me about him. as if she'd ever try to help anyone. i think she was just looking for a way to tell me they had hooked up," i wailed. what a disappointing end to an otherwise perfect date. i wouldn't even allow myself to think about the kiss. the idea that his lips had kissed hers made me seriously consider taking a stiff bristle brush to my own lips.

"monkey asses. i was hoping he was the guy for you," melissa huffed, returning to her nails.

"you and me both," i grunted, heaving myself off the bed so i could drown myself in the shower. this would be why i set such high guidelines when it came to dating.

by the next morning i was able to successfully put justin in the same category with all the other guys who didn't matter. i blocked out the insistent voice that kept trying to convince me otherwise. i took the wimp's way out and sent him a text, telling him i would need the whole day and evening to study for my made-up exam. he never returned my text, which showed he had the attention span of a gnat. i patted myself on the back, convincing myself i had dodged a bullet.

the day turned out to be long and tedious anyway as i really did try to get schoolwork done. it proved to be difficult as my brain highlighted moments from the day before. the way he had warmed my face when we had arrived at the aquarium or the way his younger sister's eyes had shined when he told her he was taking her to see her favorite play. by two o'clock, i gave up studying. it seemed futile at the moment. i tossed my schoolbooks on my desk and lay back on my bed with the book i'd bought a few days prior. even recreational reading proved to hold little appeal as my mind continued to focus on justin. finally giving up, i tossed the book aside and picked up my iphone. the relief i felt after i had sent him my lame text earlier turned to irritation as i pondered why i hadn't heard from him. bypassing the text messages, i went to my standby spider solitaire game that always did the trick when i needed something to occupy my mind.

several hours later, i'm embarrassed to say, i was still lying on my bed playing the mindless game when melissa returned to our room.

"hey, you want to get some dinner?" i asked.

"don't be mad, okay?" she said, stepping into the room, but leaving the door open behind her.

"why would i be ma . . . oh god, please tell me you didn't," i mumbled as rob and justin strolled into our room. our room that was the size of a closet to begin with. with two extra people we were packed like sardines.

"so, rob and i will be back in a minute," melissa said, dragging a confused rob from our room as she ignored the daggers she knew i was glaring at her.

i swung my legs around and sat up on my bed, trying not to dwell on the fact that justin wasn't exactly catching me at my best. my hair probably looked like a bird's nest and i was wearing an oversized uw t-shirt with no bra and my favorite victoria's secret sweats.

"what are you doing here?" i demanded, taking out my discomfort from the situation on him.

"we have a date," he replied. he plopped down on melissa's bed, looking unfazed by my tone.

"we had a date. i sent you a text," i stated, holding up my phone for emphasis.

"that's right, and if i remember correctly, you broke it off so you could study," he said pointedly, looking at the game that was still open on my phone.

"i was giving my fried brain a break," i lied.

"what's the deal, brittni? i like you. a lot. i've made that clear, but i can't keep chasing you if you don't want to be caught," he huffed, running his hand across the light layer of scruff that covered the bottom half of his face. "i mean, what do you want from me? are you really not interested?"

i sighed heavily. how could i articulate my feelings without sounding like a jealous half-wit? "it's not you . . ." i started.

"oh, please. tell me you're not trying to feed me the 'it's not you, it's me' crap. i'm not sure i'll be able to stomach that."

"fine. it is you. well, not you exactly. it's who you've banged," i snapped, jumping to my feet so i could pace the room.

"who i've banged? are we at that point in this relationship where we're handing over our lists?"

"no," i said, shaking my head. "you want to think it's ridiculous, that's your problem, but did you really have to sleep with kara the twat-face?" i sank back down on my bed and dropped my face to my hands.

"kara the twat-face?" he questioned, prying my fingers from my face.

"fine, that's not her real name."

"that's a relief, but i'm still drawing a blank here."

"it still doesn't change the fact that you dated the one girl i can't stand, kara bellmont," i said, wanting to puke.

"kara bellmont? in that bitch's dreams," he shuddered.

"you didn't date her?" i asked. what a relief if he was telling the truth.

"hell no. she was in my bio chem class last year. she tried, believe me. always talking about how she 'can't keep any of the formulas straight,' and 'could we get together to study.' study, my ass," he said.

"and you never fell for her sweet-southern-girl bullshit?" i asked skeptically.

"look. i've dated lots of girls. you know this, but that chick is bad news. too much damn fake drama for me."

"give me a break. the barbie twins you were with the first day i met you were about as fake as they come."

"fair enough. i never said i was perfect. besides, who really caught my attention that day? oh yeah, that's right, it was you. i told you, i'm not a player, brittni. you're going to have to believe me or this thing between us is never going to work," he said, putting the ball in my court. "and you have to stop jumping to conclusions about me."

he was right, of course. from day one i'd been too harsh where it concerned him. "i'm just scared," i finally admitted.

"why would you be scared?" he asked, reaching for my hands.

"because i suck at this whole relationship thing."

"so do i. we can learn how to be good at it together," he said, pulling me to my feet. "i think we should practice with kissing," he added.

"kissing sounds like a good place to start," i whispered as his lips claimed mine.

9.

present day

12:55 pm

"i'm starving," i grumbled, checking my iphone for the millionth time.

"yeah, me too. i wonder if that asshole rob even knows we're stuck in here. he's probably eating lunch as we speak," justin complained, glancing at his phone. "still no damn signal. i freaking hate elevators!"

"now you sound like me," i said, digging through my purse in a vain effort to find something edible. i struck gold when my hand closed around the cereal bar i had gotten at the airport earlier. digging farther, i found the small bag of nuts they gave me on the plane. "you wanna eat my nuts?" i asked in an attempt to lighten the mood. he sat for a moment without looking up. "come on. you know you want to eat my nuts," i said, pulling the small bag from my purse and holding it out. "that's it. grab my nuts," i teased, causing the corners of his mouth to rise into a smile.

"thanks," he said grudgingly.

"sure," i smiled, remembering how much he loved peanuts.

"how did rob talk you into coming to his office if you hate elevators so much?"

"he told me he wanted to talk about an engagement surprise he had planned for melissa. he swore me to secrecy. as far as melissa is concerned, my plane isn't supposed to land for several more hours," i sighed. i still wasn't pleased that a trusted friend had lied and tricked me.

"i bet she's excited you'll be here for the party," he said in a voice absent from the earlier hostility.

"yeah, she was happy when i finally caved," i answered. i instantly regretted my words, knowing i had given too much away.

"caved? you mean you didn't want to come to your best friend's engagement party?" he asked, raising the eyebrow that had once been pierced.

"when did you take out your eyebrow ring?" i asked, avoiding his question.

"two years ago. i decided it was time for a change," he answered as the hostility returned to his voice. that was definitely another dagger meant for me.

i kept my head down rather than take the bait. of course his words hurt, but i'd be damned if i was going to let him see that.

"well? you said 'caved.' does that mean i was almost spared the pleasure of seeing you again?" he asked sarcastically.

"i can't remember; were you always such a dick?" i asked, matching his tone.

"honey, i didn't become a dick until you lied to me and took something from me without even giving it a second thought. you and your goddamn secrets!" he snapped in a raised voice.

"they were my secrets-mine," i yelled. i was sick of fighting a battle with him i would never win.

"that's horseshit. i deserved to know. god, the fact you don't get that makes me sick. i wish i had never talked to you that day," he snarled, turning away in disgust.

"that makes two of us," i lied as my weakly mended heart broke into pieces.

10.

november 2010

"so, this is your rodeo. where to?" justin asked as we climbed into his jeep.

"well, since this is a second date and i'm not entirely sure how those are supposed to go, i thought we'd hit one of my favorite places."

"puget sound?" he asked, merging into traffic.

"you definitely win brownie points for paying attention," i commented. "no wonder all the girls like you."

"you can thank my mom for that. i think she was afraid i'd turn out like my dad, so she preached the whole respecting-women thing. she has nothing to fear, though. travis and i would never turn out like him. travis is too soft-spoken to ever raise his voice to anyone, let alone a girl. and, me-i don't know, i think maybe growing up and seeing the way my dad treated my mom, i always felt in my gut it was wrong. that girls shouldn't be treated that way. does that sound weird?"

"what if the girl was a total bitch?" i inquired, messing with him.

"i wouldn't rise to the bait. i'm a lover, not a fighter."

"what if she keyed your jeep and slept with your best friend?"

"you have a thing for rob?" he asked, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

"are you avoiding the question?"

"truth? i'd probably pound my friend for sleeping with my woman, but if she's going to cheat, she's not the girl for me. as for keying this beauty, it would probably add character," he said, patting the dashboard of his jeep. "what about you?"

"i don't go out with guys long enough to cheat, so you should be safe."

he laughed at my words as he searched for a parking spot. "food first, or would you rather walk?"

"how about we walk for a while? once the sun goes down it might be too chilly outside for a stroll."

nodding his approval, justin laced his fingers through mine as we made our way to a path that ran along the water. he kept up a steady stream of questions as we walked. at first i felt weird divulging so much about myself, but he steadily chipped away at my defenses. he asked me all kinds of questions about woodfalls, intrigued by the dynamics of such a small town. i thought he was going to pass out when he heard the closest art museum and starbucks were forty-five minutes away. for whatever reason, i found it difficult to open up about my mom. i did confess how much it bothered me that she was considered the town busybody and was often ridiculed for it.

"i think we're both natural people-watchers, but she takes it a step further. i've tried to explain it to her, but she laughs it off and reassures me that everyone likes that about her. i don't have the heart to tell her how i really feel. it's now a game in woodfalls to see how long everyone can keep pam from finding out something," i sighed. "despite what i think her flaws are, i know she loves me and i love her. at the end of the day, that's all that matters."