seth hesitated outside the throne room. in battle, it paid to get your bearings before running in half-cocked. that was the quickest way he knew of getting gutted, and he'd been gutted enough to verify it for a fact.

and while he knew he would survive a good gutting, lydia might not and he wasn't about to take a chance with her safety.

as he listened, the familiar sounds of violence and battle rang out around him, reminding him of the life he'd had to endure all these centuries past.

i don't want to go back to that. ever.

he wasn't a coward. but he was tired of fighting for every little thing. of being on guard with every creature he came into contact with, knowing they wouldn't hesitate to strike out at him if given a chance.

lydia had spoiled him with another world, and it was one he never wanted to leave.

which meant he had to get rid of these assholes so that they could ...

make a commitment to each other. that's what lydia had called it. and that was the life he wanted now. one with her in it.

that was the life, the only thing, he was willing to fight for.

closing his eyes, he tapped into the powers that noir had been stripping from him since puberty. they were stronger now than they'd been even an hour ago, and they still weren't at full strength. it made him wonder what they'd be like at maximum capacity. they'd have to be impressive, given what he felt right now.

no wonder noir had kept him under heel. at full strength, he would have the ability to give the bastard a good run for his money.

the jackals should have asked for a higher price when they sold him. stupid bastards.

and with those powers, he was able to see everything going on inside the throne room.

verlyn and maahes were there and engaged in a bloody fight as they stood toe-to-toe. but they weren't alone.

far from it.

solin, along with other dream-hunters and a greek god he didn't recognize, were fighting another group of their own kind. and as he watched and listened, he finally understood why everyone was after them.

why the gods were after lydia.

his stomach churned. verlyn wasn't here for just him.

there was someone even more important to everyone in that room. he looked back over his shoulder.

the same person who was everything to him.

in her jackal form, lydia started to run past him, but he caught her against his chest and held her tight before she made a serious mistake.

struggling against his hold to free herself, she flashed back to human. she crouched beside him to give him a nasty glare. "what are we waiting for?"

sanity.

but it was a little late for that. what the hell? not like he'd ever had any to begin with.

he inclined his head to the combatants inside. "the phonoi and those bitches from my dreams are in there."

lydia felt the blood drain from her face as she heard his news. the phonoi? here?

why would they have come for seth when he was egyptian and noir's property?

as the greek embodiment of murder, slaughter, and killing, the phonoi were the triplet goddesses zeus sent in whenever he wanted someone killed.

but why kill seth?

"are you sure?"

nodding, seth's jaw muscle worked furiously. he pinned her with a stare that made her stomach clench. "you're the key, lydia."

she drew back with a scowl. "the key to what?"

"the key to olympus that they're trying to find."

the man was nuts. "there's no way. you're wrong."

he stroked her cheek, looking at her as if he'd never seen her before. but that wasn't what scared her. it was the light in the back of that icy blue gaze that sent a shiver over her because she didn't know what it signified.

"think about it, sšn. it's the only thing that makes sense. don't you see? it's why solin was the only one who knew where the key was. why the greek dream-hunters came for me, demanding i give you to them. why else would they want to kill you?"

even though it made sense, she refused to believe it. she couldn't. "i can't be the key to olympus. i know nothing about it. i've never been there. never met zeus or any of them. i..."

lydia's voice trailed off as a long-forgotten memory flashed through her mind. she saw her mother on that awful night that was forever branded in her heart. smelled the fire and heard the screams and shouts of her family dying.

"where is it? give us the key and we'll spare the rest of you."

she'd never seen who attacked them, but now she remembered the angry voices that had been right outside their small home.

their attackers had been looking for a key that night, too. her grandfather and uncles had gone to fight them while her mother grabbed her from bed and dressed her to run.

"stay calm, lydia. don't panic." her mother had kissed her on the cheek. "i know you're scared. so am i. but this is something you have to do alone. i can't go with you. now that they have my scent, they'll be able to hunt you down and find you if i do."

lydia had tried to speak, only to learn that she couldn't. and that terrified her even more. why couldn't she make even a whisper?

her mother's hand had shaken as she stroked her hair to soothe her. "i did that so that you can never speak of this night to anyone. you understand? trust no one ... now, i'm sending you to your father. he'll guard you always. you are the key that men will kill to possess. whatever you do, listen to what your father tells you. one day, you'll understand."

then her mother had tried to transport her to greece.

lydia hadn't made it. their enemies had killed her mother before she could finish the transport.

instead of greece, she'd landed in the desert. alone. terrified. bereft. for days, she'd staggered through it until one man had come out of a sandstorm to save her.

she wouldn't know he was her father until long after she'd grown up.

and then only because, as a young woman, she'd been desperate to learn something about the man she'd thought had abandoned her and her mother. ready to confront him and give him nightmares until he begged for mercy, she had been shocked to her foundation to find solin.

the man who'd raised her like a daughter because she was his daughter. a daughter he was terrified of claiming lest one of his enemies hurt her because of him.

she still remembered that night of discovery as if it were yesterday.

"i tried everything to make your mother love me. at first she thought i was a human and then when she found out i was a dream-hunter, she hated me.

"even then, i didn't give up hope. but in the end, i had to leave. she wouldn't allow me to stay no matter what i said or did.

"i didn't find out about you until your third birthday, and i promised her that i wouldn't try to see you. she was afraid that if anyone learned i was your father, that they'd hurt you for it. and i knew she was right to be afraid, so i agreed to stay away from you."

all her mother had ever said to her and her grandfather was that lydia's father had been a god who'd seduced her. she'd never named solin.

"i am the key," she breathed to seth, facing the truth that scared her. as seth had said, it all made sense now. "what are we going to do?"

seth had no answer for that as a thousand thoughts went through his head all at once. and all of them had the same outcome.

watching lydia die.

now that verlyn had been called out, he wouldn't stop until he had them both locked in azmodea, and while they could run for a while, they would be pursued constantly until they made a mistake.

and then they'd both be in azmodea. sooner or later. no matter how hard they tried. there was no way to run forever.

honestly, he didn't care about himself. his own life had no meaning or value to him. it never had. but hers ...

she was everything. for her, he would fight.

for her, he would die.

and now that they knew who and what she was, the greeks would never stop hunting her. not until she was dead and posed no threat to them.

neither would noir. if seth knew nothing else about the gods, he knew that much.

and the more he chased his thoughts, the more he kept coming back to the only solution that made sense. but that solution made him ill.

you can't. noir will kill you.

if only. but noir wouldn't kill him. he'd only make him wish he was dead.

bracing himself for what he had to do to free her of this, he offered her a grim smile. "i have an idea."

the moment seth entered the throne room with lydia in his arms, all the fighting stopped. one by one, the others turned to gape at him.

he held his head high while inside he was so cold and aching that he wasn't sure how he could move.

i had to do this. there was no other way.

but knowing that didn't make it easier to bear. like his father, he was a god of tragedy and sorrow. ever condemned to destroy whatever it was he might love.

condemned to never know love at all.

seth kept his gaze on the greek gods as he took lydia toward the phonoi and solin, who'd been fighting each other. it was so quiet now, he could hear the blood rushing through his veins.

with his jaw slack, maahes lowered his sizzling lightning bolts. fury blazed in the god's eyes, but seth was too numb right now to care what the ancient god thought about him. "what have you done, boy?"

seth didn't answer as he walked past maahes and placed lydia on the ground at solin's feet. "i told you i'd kill her if you didn't return. i just kept my word."

with a cry born of ultimate grief, solin drove a short sword straight through seth's side.

grimacing in pain, seth shoved him back, then wrenched the sword out. he faced the phonoi and dream-hunters around him, then dropped the weapon on the ground. "all of you can stop fighting now. she's dead."

the phonoi moved to check.

seth struggled to keep his composure. but in his mind, all he could see was the look on lydia's face when he'd stabbed her and apologized for it. the fear and accusation in her topaz eyes had torn him apart.

"why?" she'd breathed, her eyes filled with the pain he'd given her as she placed her hand to his cheek. he still had her bloody handprint there.

unable to answer for the agony that shredded whatever remained of his battered soul, he'd merely held her against him, choking on his grief as he watched the fire fade from her eyes. and when she'd gone limp in his arms and her hand had fallen away from his skin for the last time, he swore he'd died with her.

he'd never hated himself more.

not that it mattered. lydia was gone.

now they would leave her in peace.

the phonoi glared at him in unison as they verified her death to the others.

when solin went to attack him again, verlyn grabbed him to keep him from hurting seth. solin struggled against him, calling seth every name he could think of and inventing a number of insults seth had never heard before.

but seth ignored him.

besides, there was no insult solin threw at him that he hadn't already thrown at himself, and worse.

the phonoi approached him as a single unit. "thank you for your service."

seth's breath caught as he heard the gratitude in their voices. he'd finally had someone thank him, and what had it been for?

killing the only thing he'd ever loved.

but still he said nothing as they faded out of the room.

the other greek gods who'd been fighting by solin's side to save her, stared at him as if he were the dirt they stood on.

seth met their condemnation every bit as stoically.

closing the distance between them, verlyn grabbed him by the hair and snatched his head back while he immobilized seth's limbs so that he couldn't fight or flee.

but why run now?

grimacing in pain, seth kept his gaze on lydia's body as they faded from the room.

i love you, lydia. please forgive me.

with the blink of an eye, seth was back where he'd started.

in hell.

well, more precisely, he was in noir's study, where the dark lord rose to his feet to confront him.

verlyn shoved him forward, then returned to wherever it was he stayed when he wasn't serving noir.

heartbroken, and more tired that he'd ever been before, seth faced his master, knowing he'd screwed himself straight to the wall this time. there would never be another moment of peace in his life. not another moment free of misery.

it was what he deserved.

"on your knees, dog," noir growled at him.

seth shook his head. he wasn't about to bow down to anyone.

noir curled his lip. "ever defiant. did i not tell you what i'd do if you failed to bring me the key?"

"you did."

"did you think i was bluffing?" noir grabbed him by the throat and dissolved his armor.

there was no need to respond. there was nothing noir could do to him now that would compete with the agony of living without lydia.

in fact, he hoped the physical pain would be able to distract him from the misery in his heart. because right now, that burned more than any injury he'd ever sustained.

"i'm going to enjoy this," noir snarled at him.

seth laughed bitterly and then did what he did best.

he pissed off his master. "go ahead. do your worst."

"i'm so sorry."

solin ignored delphine as he cradled his daughter's body against his chest and wept. his soul screamed out that she, the only thing in his life that had ever meant a damn to him, was now gone, and he felt so incredibly lost.

in a life marked by scarring pain and soul-searing agony, nothing compared to what he felt right now. nothing.

all he could do was see images of lydia as a child, reaching out to him. remember the frustration they'd both had as they struggled to learn sign language so that she could talk to humans. the frustrations they'd had when she'd started dating, and he'd disapproved of every man she'd brought home.

oh the nightmares he'd given some of those pricks. no one had ever messed with his girl that he didn't make them pay.

until now.

and what hurt the most was that he'd never see her again. never watch as she sang to him with her hands.

because i failed her. it was all his fault. had he been stronger ... faster ...

why couldn't the guardian have killed him instead?

delphine reached to comfort him.

"don't touch me!" he growled.

there was no comfort to be had. not now. not ever again.

did delphine really think that some stupid, paltry touch would soothe him when his heart had been ripped out?

jericho, delphine's husband, moved forward as if he was going to attack him over hurting her feelings, but zarek stopped him. the two of them had been the ones who'd finally heard delphine's call and had released them so that they could chase down the phonoi to stop them from hurting lydia.

but not in time. if only they'd found the phonoi sooner. maybe then they could have saved his baby.

i wish the guardian had killed me the first day he captured me.

anything would have been better than the agony of living without his daughter.

maahes moved forward. "is there anything i can do?"

"fuck off and die."

instead of getting angry, maahes walked away and left him to his pain. as did the others.

except zarek.

he waited until they were alone before he approached solin. "i'm not going to insult either of us with some mambi-pambi bullshit. life sucks. no one knows that better than i do. but if you want to go break ass over this, i'll be there for you. just shout. the bloodier, the better."

strangely, that did make him feel better. and he knew zarek meant it.

"thank you." but he'd never take zarek up on that offer. he'd never put the demigod in harm's way. unlike him, zarek had a family. the one thing solin had always wanted.

the one thing he'd always been denied.

he'd never even heard his own daughter call him father.

not once.

zarek inclined his head to him respectfully, then vanished.

alone now, solin looked down at lydia's pale face that had never failed to make his heart swell with pride.

until today. today there was nothing but blinding misery that cut so deep, his soul bled from it.

he brushed at her skin, trying to clean her. there was so much blood. how could anyone have done this to such a kind, sweet being?

how?

i'll kill him, he swore to himself. he didn't know how, but he was going to get that bastard and rip him to pieces.

it's what you get for trusting someone. if anyone knew better, it was he. they had a traitor in their midst, and that betrayal had cost lydia her life.

he would find the turncoat dream-hunter, too, and bathe in their blood.

but first he had a daughter to bury.

lydia groaned as she blinked open her eyes. she felt so incredibly sick. what had she eaten?

where am i?

she looked around the lush bed with linen curtains surrounding it. the sound of the sea and smell of saltwater was thick in the air. over the top of the bed was a gold medallion and a crystal chandelier that, when lit, would cast dancing deer on the ceiling.

she frowned as she realized where she was. solin's house.

but why was she here?

why was she dressed in this garish white gown?

oh good grief! she was in lace and ruffles. ick! it was something her father would put her in, and something she'd only agree to wear if she had a severe head injury ... or was dead.

"damn it, george, i wanted the white ones for today! white! do you hear me?"

she jumped at solin's angry shout. how strange. she'd never heard him fuss at poor george before. he normally had infinite patience with his valet, who was more family than employee.

yawning, she stretched and sat up at the same time solin came into her room.

he froze to gape at her, then a heartbeat later he flashed himself across the room to grab her into a hug so tight, she couldn't breathe.

"you're crushing me." lydia didn't know who was most stunned when those words came out.

her or her father.

shocked to the core of her being, she stared up at him as he looked down at her, gaping. "was that you?"

she touched her throat, almost too afraid to try again. "i think so."

dear gods, she could speak ...

but how?

and still, why was she at solin's? she kept coming back to that because she had no explanation whatsoever. "what am i doing here?"

solin scowled as he tried to grasp what was happening. lydia was alive.

alive!

he'd planned to entomb her body in only a few hours. but here she stood, whole and hale, and ...

alive.

he kept repeating that one word because he couldn't believe it. the guardian hadn't killed her?

it was inconceivable. she'd been here for two days while he made preparations. no pulse. no heartbeat. and now she was just as she'd always been.

"don't you remember the last week?"

lydia shook her head. "i was at home. i remember that i was angry about something, but i don't remember what. then i woke up here. did you teleport me?"

"no, baby, i didn't. you really have no memory of..." he didn't want to mention azmodea if she didn't remember it, "coming after me?"

she shook her head. "why did i come after you?"

solin's eyes misted as he realized what the guardian had done for her.

he'd freed lydia forever so that she could finally live her life without either of them having to fear that the other greeks would find her. everyone thought she was dead now.

for the first time in her life, she was completely safe.

but why would he have done such a thing?

why do you think?

the guardian loved her. there was no other reason for it. none. he'd given his own freedom, his life, for lydia.

solin stood there, amazed and grateful. never in his life had anyone done anything like this for him. "do you remember anyone from the last couple of days?"

she arched her brow. "like?"

"a man with red hair?"

"haven't been to mcdonald's in a long time. are you okay? you're looking at me really strangely."

"never better." he smiled at her. "i'm just grateful you're awake. you've been extremely sick the last few days..." he'd have to explain eventually why she was missing several days out of her life. what better way than illness? "we were worried about you, that's all."

but inside, he felt like shit as he debated what to do. he hated to keep a secret from her, especially one that involved someone who obviously loved her as much as the guardian did.

she had a right to know what he'd done for her. but if she had no memory of the guardian, why disturb her with the truth?

obviously, her safety had meant more to the guardian than anything else. who was he to interfere?

so long as she didn't remember, he would never speak of it.

"are you hungry?" he asked, touching her warm cheek-something he would never again take for granted. "i can have george make you anything you want."

lydia smiled at his offer. "banana pancakes would be wonderful." she didn't know why, but she had a strange banana craving.

"get dressed and i'll have them waiting in the atrium." solin kissed her hand as if it were a holy relic and hesitated before he finally let go and left her.

yeah, okay, her father was in a very, very strange mood.

as she went to the armoire and opened the door to get something a little less hideous to wear, there was a shadow in the back of her mind.

a world beyond a world.

why did that seem important?

she opened and closed the armoire door. the way the blue wallpaper flashed on the ceiling reminded her of something. but what?

it was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't quite grasp it.

blue on the ceiling?

what did i get into? she felt woozy and had a voice. but what really confused her was when she pulled her gown off and saw ...

was that a swallow?

what on earth?

frowning, she fingered the weird tattoo on her shoulder just below her collar bone that hadn't been there before. it was incredibly colorful and beautiful, but she had no memory of having it done. and if that wasn't strange enough, she had some weird egyptian cartouche around her neck.

okay, remind me to never, ever drink again.

"you're so pathetic."

seth didn't bother to look up at noir as the bastard came to drain his powers again. he was so weak he could barely breathe. since his return, as part of his punishment, he hadn't been allowed to charge them at all.

and for that small mercy he was actually grateful.

without his powers, he had no way whatsoever to see lydia. there was no temptation to even try ...

which kept her safe.

still, he would give anything to have one more second with her. to see those beautiful topaz eyes ...

noir laid his chest open, bringing him out of his numbed state as pain seared him. his overlord had become even more sadistic in his attempts to make sure seth suffered as much as possible. and in guaranteeing that seth would never escape again.

not that he would.

he had no reason to go anywhere and every reason to stay. so long as he was here, lydia was safe.

that was all that mattered to him. at least that was what he kept telling himself. but over the weeks, it'd gotten harder to remember the sound of her voice. the softness of her touch.

it terrified him that the day might come when he'd have no memory of her whatsoever.

and that was a far worse torture than anything noir and his demons could dish out.

but his initial torture on his return here had at least clarified one thing in his memory. he knew why lydia's jackal form had seemed so familiar.

her mother had been one of the jackals in his adoptive family.

her grandfather was the one who'd sold him to noir.

the irony of that stayed with him. but it didn't stop the part of him that loved her anyway.

noir raked his claws down the side of seth's face as he finally pulled back. "you are too repulsive to look at."

seth had no response as he closed his eyes and tried to escape in his mind.

but he'd given lydia his swallow and cartouche to keep her safe whenever she awoke, and without those he had no choice except to stay here and feel everything.

lydia floated in the dream realm on her white gossamer wings. she didn't know why, but her swallow tattoo kept pulling her here at night. it was almost as if it were trying to tell her something.

but whatever it sought, they never found it.

arching up toward the dark sky, she saw a shadow moving far below. one that was terrifying and ...

she saw eyes of steel set in a face that reminded her of warmth.

but as soon as she saw them, they were gone.

yeah, i've lost my mind now.

and she had.

time to wake up and see about moving the rest of her things from her home in england to her father's estate. she was still sick from the week she'd been in a coma. and he was too worried about her to leave her alone. which was fine with her.

lydia had a feeling that in the coming days, she was going to need someone with her.

she just didn't know why.

seth felt a presence near him, but he couldn't open his eyes to see if it was noir or azura. not that it mattered. pain was pain no matter whose hand dealt it.

was it time to be drained again?

hadn't they already been here?

he couldn't remember. each feeding now seemed to hurt more than the one before and they blended together into a never-ending cycle of cruelty.

a hand brushed the hair back from his face. sick from the agony they caused him, he tried to move away and fight, even though he knew it was futile.

until he managed to open his eyes enough to see the face of his tormentor.

for a full minute, he couldn't breathe as he saw the last person he'd ever expected to see again ...

lydia felt the tears stinging her eyes as she saw what noir had done to him.

and all because of her.

the bolt was back in place and he'd been beaten so badly that she barely recognized a single feature on his face. he'd been hit so many times that his eyes were swollen out of shape and colored various shades of purple. he could barely open them even a slit.

she bit back a sob before she spoke. "i told you that i would always come for you," she whispered before she placed a gentle kiss on his bleeding cheek. she stepped back so that he could see she wasn't alone.

ma'at, maahes, thorn, and solin were with her.

maahes unchained him while ma'at healed him, and solin kept an eye out for any of the demons or noir.

seth fought against his release, but couldn't speak until maahes removed the bolt. he choked on his own blood, then refused to leave with them. "i can't go. you won't be safe."

"i'm not leaving you here," lydia insisted.

furious at her, he glared at solin. "get her out of here before they find her."

solin snorted. "believe me, i've tried to talk sense into her. she won't listen."

seth turned his glare to thorn. "why would you bring them here?"

thorn grinned. "solin made me an offer i couldn't refuse. believe me, violating my truce with noir isn't something i do lightly."

he wanted to kill the bastard for that. but thorn was every bit the immortal. plus he had powers even seth couldn't fathom.

seth looked back at lydia. "i have to stay ... please."

lydia couldn't believe that he was still willing to stay here for her safety. if she'd had any doubt before about how much he loved her, that cleared it. "all right, fine. if you stay. i stay."

"we all stay," maahes said.

ma'at nodded. "agreed."

thorn snorted. "you can stay if you want. but i'm getting the hell out of here. noir's side smells. i prefer my demons and slime hole to his."

seth glared at solin, hating him for his interference. "why did you tell her? damn you! she would never have remembered me."

lydia arched a chiding brow at him. "my father didn't tell me anything and i'm still angry at him for that. but i remembered you. even though i didn't understand it, i felt you with me constantly. and if that wasn't enough..." she took his hand and placed it on her stomach so he could feel the slight swelling there. "you left me with a very special gift."

the news slammed into him harder than one of noir's blows. she was pregnant?

with his child.

unimaginable joy ripped through him as he felt the slightest fluttering of his son or daughter moving inside her.

but that only solidified his res-->>

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