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hear me, piccola, love of my life. i have taken far too much from you. you must replenish yourself with what i provide.
this was no soft plea; it was a strong and deliberate command, a compulsion sent mind to mind by a male of their species with tremendous powers. he gave no thought to it, simply issuing the order to ensure her health and safety. julian slashed a line over the heavy muscles of his chest and pressed her mouth firmly to him.
he was angry with himself, angry that he had been so selfish in his passion. had he spent so much time with animals that he had forgotten how to behave as a man? he was more beast than civilized. his newfound emotions were far more difficult to deal with than the most powerful of the undead he had ever vanquished. the lines in battle were always so clear to him, yet now his emotions rendered his unshakable control dust. he found himself tied up in knots, not wanting to hurt her feelings or do the wrong thing, that she might think less of him. he found himself constantly at war with his own instincts. he wanted to carry her off and keep her safe for all time and eternity.
julian lay his head over hers. "it seems i need to keep you safe from your own lifemate."
desari stirred in his arms even as she fed under his hypnotic command. deep within the layers of compulsion she felt his fierce anger at himself for what he considered his abusive nature. she sent him her warmest love. she managed to project the gentle smile forming in her mind to share it with him, the deep feelings she had already developed for him. it was astonishing to julian that she was already so much a part of him that she could feel the depths of his rage at himself and seek to soothe him.
and she had somehow managed to do so. he became more calm and accepting of his nature. he was what he was; he could never change that. he wasn't even certain he would want to if he could. desari saw his strengths and allowed him to view himself through her eyes. it was another priceless gift she offered him, and he would treasure it always. he was finding out quickly why the male of their race so desperately needed the balance of their lifemates. their women brought light and compassion to their inner darkness.
julian lifted his head and regarded her carefully, searching her face for signs of recovery. color ran under her skin, a much healthier glow. breathing a sigh of relief, he allowed her to awaken slowly. his arms cradled her protectively. "i am sorry, cara.
i should have been far more restrained in possessing you."
her hand brushed his throat, sending heat coursing through him, a sense of belonging and acceptance he had never known. her smile tugged at his heart. "you are my love, julian. you would never harm me. i know that as surely as i know i would be incapable of harming you. i was quite satisfied, if you must hear me say it, although i suspect you know that you provided me with pleasure such as i could not have imagined before."
he stroked her hair, his eyes like molten gold. "it is more than giving you pleasure that i want, it is sharing something beautiful beyond compare, and that i cannot do if i cannot control my desire for you." his expression held infinite tenderness as he watched her face.
desari found she couldn't breathe for a moment. julian savage was a beautiful male of their species, but he always looked so remote and rather harsh. she could not believe she was now seeing such tenderness in the depths of his eyes, in the curve of his mouth, in the touch of his hand. "do you think that i would trade you for someone gentler?" she asked very softly.
he closed his eyes for a moment to hide the pain those words caused. "you have no choice who your lifemate is; we both know that, desari. if you had, perhaps you would have wanted someone far different than me."
her smile robbed him of air. "i believe in god, julian. i always have. living through the centuries as we have, i have witnessed many wonderful, miraculous things he has wrought. i believe we were created two halves of the same whole. i had no idea this was so until i met you, but i am now convinced. i would never want another, never fit with another. i can feel that we are right together, and i do not believe god would put together two creatures who did not suit one another." she rubbed at the frown on his face with the pad of her thumb. "i find your enthusiasm for me very sexy, julian. you can want me like that anytime." her smile was a siren's teasing enticement.
effortlessly he shifted her in his arms so that he could press her against his heart, and he found himself breathing again after holding his breath. "i do not ever want to be without you, desari," he admitted softly. the words were torn from his heart; he felt them leave his body, felt the truth in them.
she wound her arms around his neck, liking the feel of his long hair against her skin. "i do not expect you to ever allow us to be apart. i am counting on that, lifemate. now stop talking so much and find us a place to rest this night. tomorrow we will proceed to konocti in the bus with the others. they will remain at the campsite we have established this night." a faint grin curved her soft mouth. "that is, if the bus will actually run. it is a disgrace that none of us have mechanical abilities. even i read the owner's manual, and found it too boring."
"we do not need mechanical abilities," julian reminded her as he spun around, taking her with him as if she weighed no more than a feather. "we were meant to travel differently, under our own power."
"if we want to blend in with the rest of the world," she pointed out, "we can do no other than travel in the mortals' machines."
"it is much faster to travel our way through time and space."
she laughed softly, the sound a husky blend of velvet and wine pouring over him, into him, so that julian knew the meaning of joy. it was a woman's laughter, her smile, the glow in her dancing eyes. "it certainly is less frustrating to simply join the wind and go where we wish without following those endless ribbons of highway," she agreed.
he took the right-hand tunnel entrance, drawing the directions from her mind. the path opened almost immediately into a wide chamber. at once he waved a hand to open the earth. "it is early dawn, cara, and i would spend more time enjoying your company, but you have performed in front of so many people, and you are tired."
"i do not mind, julian," she told him. "i rather like the way you spend your time with me." she pressed closer to him, her naked breasts against his bare chest. his answering kiss was slow and tender, a gentle exploration. "in this one thing i will have to insist. your health must come before all things, even our pleasure. on the next rising we will have more time together. this dawn you must rest."
she tried to keep the amusement out of her mind. he was so positive he was giving her an order. "of course, julian," she murmured softly, her long lashes feathering down to cover her dark eyes. her body moved restlessly against his, her full breasts pushing into the heavy muscles of his chest. "if you say we cannot, then i must agree with you, but i am sorry to hear that it is so." her hands were moving over his buttocks, her fingers tracing their toned muscles. her fingers moved to his hips, caressed his thighs, worked their way to cup the weight of his rising desire in her palm. "i will do as you say, lifemate, if that is what truly pleases you." her mouth drifted down over his throat and chest, following the pattern of golden hair to the taut muscles of his belly.
beneath her caressing fingers, his body thickened and hardened in response, his gut clenched hotly, and the breath seemed to slam out of him. "you are deliberately testing my resolve, piccola, and i am failing the test miserably."
"that is exactly what i wanted to hear," she answered complacently, her mind already occupied with much more interesting matters.