you know i am not. i have forced your compliance only on the occasions when i was healing you, binding you to me, and when you needed sleep. you are the other half of my soul. i cannot be apart from you, jaxon. i am not making it up." his hand moved over her face with great tenderness. "do you think i wish to cause you such distress? look into my mind and see the truth. i want only your happiness. in truth, honey, i would gladly lay down my life if i knew you wished such a thing and would be happy without me, but it is not so." his mouth touched her forehead, her eyelids. "it is not so, little love. it is not so."

"you can't ask me to accept such a thing."

"i have no other choice. it is my way of life, jaxon. i am carpathian. i cannot change that. i would not want to change it." his mouth found hers, gently, his lips barely brushing the corner of hers. it started a tremor deep within her. "i survive on blood, my love, but i do not kill. i have dedicated my life to the preservation of both of our species."

"but, lucian," she tried to protest.

"it is different, that is all. it is something unknown to you."

she buried her face against his chest. "you don't sleep in a coffin, do you?" it was meant as a joke but came out far more soberly than she'd intended.

lucian chose his answer carefully. "in all the centuries of my existence, all the vampires i hunted and destroyed, i never actually found one who slept in a coffin. if anyone was going to try such an idea, i imagine the undead would do so first."

"that's one good thing." jaxon was already pulling away from him, moving gingerly, as if by touching him she might become more infected with some strange disease. "i don't think i could ever get used to the coffin thing. can you undo what you've done?" she tried to keep her voice neutral. she was very tired and wanted only to lie down somewhere and not think anymore about anything. "you can't, can you?"

"i would not want to if i could. i do not want to give you up." his hands fell to his side. "that is selfish of me, i know, but i cannot. it is not only for my own sake, jaxon, but for yours - and for others."

she held up a hand and gave a faint smile "overload, lucian. i can't take in any more. let's do something normal." jaxon bit her lower lip, a small frown flitting across her face. "i don't know what normal people do, do you?"

his hands framed her face, his thumbs feathering over her satin-soft skin in a small caress. he had to touch her. he couldn't seem to stop himself. "you look tired, jaxon. you should be resting."

"i was thinking we could go for a walk on your grounds. i'd like to look around outside."

"scouting. of course you would want to do that. it is so normal."

she found herself smiling. "maybe you're right. after all, neither one of us knows what to do when we're not tracking some killer."

his smile was slow and sexy. "i did not say i did not have other, much more interesting things in mind to do."

her breath caught in her throat. he could so easily get around her. it wasn't natural. he whispered to her in her mind, shared erotic images, and made her think things she never would have on her own. jaxon shook her head.

"you are bad, lucian. what am i going to do about you?"

"be with me. live with me. learn to love me. accept me as i am," his black-velvet voice whispered, and his words touched her in her deepest soul.

she reached out to take his hand, weaving her smaller fingers through his. "i think you should be outlawed. that voice of yours can get you almost anything." she had no real way to resist him. not when he could say such things to her in his beautiful voice with such stark truth in his gaze.

he turned her hand over, bringing her palm to his lips. his black eyes were burning with possessiveness. "does that include you?"

jaxon found herself smiling. "i'm considering it. walk with me."

"you wish to go outside?"

she shook her head. "there's a reason you're not so certain you want me to go outside. what's out there? i know it's not a coffin. i think we've pretty much covered that issue, and we're clear on it."

"no coffin," he acknowledged.

"so, what is it?" she demanded. "out with it."

"wolves." he said it straight-faced.

jaxon snatched back her hand. "give me back my gun. wolves? i should have known. of course you have wolves. doesn't everybody?" she snapped her fingers. "the gun, lucian. hand it over. i've decided i have to shoot you after all. it's the only way to preserve my sanity."

his hands curved around her neck in mock threat. "i do not think i will ever give back that weapon of yours. it gives you hostile ideas."

she was very much aware of him as they moved together toward the back of the house. why did his home have to be so perfect? everything she had ever wanted?

why did it make her feel so safe when she should have felt threatened by such a powerful and dangerous being as she knew lucian to be? how could she simply accept his differences so calmly? well, maybe not calmly, but she was accepting them.

lucian enjoyed the way her mind worked. jaxon was sometimes overwhelmed by the enormity of the information he had given her, but she didn't allow herself to panic. she took her time assimilating what she could and then gave her mind a small break before processing the next influx of information. she used humor to get herself through frightening situations. she never once condemned him out of hand.

jaxon didn't know him. she did not understand what he really was. she had no real concept of what it had done to him to destroy others for centuries. that his bleak, dark world was so cold and shadowed, he would do anything to keep from going back there. he was a predator, had terrible darkness in him, and she was too much of the light to understand that each kill had taken a piece of his soul. only jaxon could make him whole.