5

rafael waited until the house was quiet. he couldn't tear himself away from colby. though hunger beat furiously at him, demanding fulfillment, he refused to heed its call. he would feed later. he could not leave colby. he found he had less and less control around her. he wanted her, his body raging for release, needing her desperately, needing to complete the ritual to make her wholly his. it was the only way to chain the beast inside of him. it was growing stronger, roaring for release continually. he felt himself close to the edge of madness and knew he was nearly falling over that precipice. he felt it in his every waking moment. and his brother felt it as well. nicolas monitored him closely, lending him strength when the beast gripped him hard.

one by one the lights shining through the windows went out. he heard the soft murmured words of good night and he felt lonelier and edgier than ever. when he was certain the residents of the house were asleep, he glided across the yard and gained entrance to the house through colby's open window.

nearly insubstantial, rafael floated across the hardwood floor silently, a dark shadow in the night. colby was sleeping deeply, her long hair spread out on her pillow, skeins of flaming red-gold silk. one hand was curled into a fist and the other was flung out as if reaching for something. he bent over her, his hot gaze resting on his mark on her neck. he eased his weight onto the bed, his hands finding her beneath the covers even as he deliberately fed her erotic dreams, wanting to arouse her, prepare her body, for she was an innocent. wake, meu lindo amor, i need you to be with me this night.

colby stirred immediately, drowsy, lashes fluttering, not quite awake. she looked sexy, a temptress. "are you here again? i've got to stop dreaming about you."

you cannot help yourself when you know you are mine alone. the words shimmered in her mind so that the sound of his voice wouldn't disturb her further. she shook her head, a faint smile greeting him. she looked so beautiful he bent to kiss her. colby's skin was incredibly soft and he couldn't resist touching her. rafael stretched out beside her, slowly, lazily, an unhurried movement. he had all night with her. at once he felt the hidden power of the comforter covering her. his fingers found the symbols and he traced them carefully. they were safeguards, carpathian safeguards woven into the patterns on the quilt. where had she acquired such a thing? it was a work of art, rare and precious like the woman it guarded.

rafael turned on his side, studying colby. he needed to spend every moment in her company while he could. she was a ray of light in his dark world, sunshine and laughter. he had long ago forgotten even his memories of such things, yet now he clung to the light in her. he didn't know if he had ever felt gentle or tender toward another, yet he felt something close to those things each time he looked at her.

she murmured his name softly, her breath warm against his neck. rafael's body hardened and thickened even more, until he groaned softly, a protest against the urgent demand he couldn't quite control. he dragged her into his arms and lowered his head to the pillow close to hers. only her thin pajamas separated him from her soft skin and the haven of her body. i want you, querida. i want you almost as much as i need you. he was aching for her, the words that would bind them together for all eternity in his head, on his tongue, so that he tasted them with every breath he drew.

a smile curved her soft mouth, an invitation. her body moved restlessly against his. he needed her. there was nothing else in his life. he needed her. with an oath, he wrapped his arms tighter and nuzzled the thin material covering her body up out of his way to expose her breasts to the cool night air. to his hot, burning gaze. she was so beautiful and so vulnerable.

i need to touch you, meu lindo amor, just for a few minutes, allow me to touch you. his voice ached with his need. ached with his hunger. a velvet soft seduction.

her eyes opened, emerald green, slumberous, sensual, meeting his black hungry gaze with her own dark passion. without a word, she turned in to him, slipped her arms around him, her body pliant with surrender.

colby had no real idea if she was awake or asleep, in the middle of an erotic dream or fantasy, but she couldn't turn away from the desperation burning in those eyes. in her dreams, she could have anyone she wanted, do anything she wanted, she wasn't bound by her responsibilities. she wanted him. wanted the feel of his skin next to her skin. wanted his mouth on hers, his hands on her. she had wanted him almost from the first moment she had seen him and in her dreams, she didn't have to be afraid that he would control her.

rafael's breath caught in his throat at the sight of her lying beside him, her top pushed up exposing her perfectly formed breasts. his hand looked dark against her white skin, his palm on her bare midriff, his fingers splayed wide. she looked delicate, almost fragile, while in contrast his bones and muscles were so much larger. yet in her own way, colby was tremendously strong.

the ritual binding words imprinted in him long before his birth, burned in his mind while his body was on fire, painful and uncomfortable. in the room across the hall, the little girl stirred. his hand closed over colby's breast possessively. his mind sought ginny's. she was opening her window stealthily, sticking her head out to whistle for the dog. ginny had nightmares of her parents' deaths, of something happening to colby. rafael heard the dog enter the room and immediately sent it a command so that it would stay on the child's bed, giving her comfort, but would not detect his presence in the home. nothing could stop this. nothing. his mind and body were clamoring for colby and he knew he couldn't stop. he shielded both paul and ginny from waking, sending them into a deep sleep.

he bent his head to the warmth of colby's skin, his tongue swirling over her breast, indulging his ravenous hunger for her. he felt her response, the way her body tightened and clenched, the way her blood heated and pooled. his hands moved over her slowly, inch by slow inch, pushing her clothing aside so that he had access to her body. he wanted to know every inch of her, wanted to touch her, taste her, inhale her. his mouth was hot and needy as he lowered his head to take possession of her breast. he suckled there, his hand sliding along her ribs, across her flat stomach to linger for a few moments, brushing his fingers over her skin, tracing the faint outline of a birthmark there. it was intriguing enough to warrant a quick foray with his tongue, before he returned to her breast while his hand drifted lower to find the tight thatch of curls at the junction of her legs. she was moist and hot as he pushed his palm against her. at once her hips arced against him in response.

colby had dreams of her dark lover, arousing her body, his hands exploring every inch of her, his mouth hot and needy, suckling at her breasts, stroking and caressing until she wanted to beg him for release. his mouth was everywhere, kissing and caressing, knowing her body even more intimately than she knew it. she burned for him, needed him, needed his body buried deep inside hers. she opened her eyes again to look at him. real. solid. he was naked, his body strong, his muscles rippling with power. his long black hair swept across her aching sensitive breasts, as his tongue swirled around her belly button. she caught at him with both hands.

"what are you doing?" she whispered the words, her body on fire. "and why am i letting you?" fear thudded in her heart and mind. she'd never felt so needy, so painfully aroused. she should be screaming, but she couldn't quite shake off the veil covering her mind.

he smiled against her flat stomach. "i am courting you." his teeth nipped along the curve of her hip, found the strange birthmark, and scraped at it with small bites. "persuading you." his tongue eased the ache. his hands opened her thighs wider, stroking, caressing. his finger found the hot core of her, wet with liquid fire, scorching and tight as he slowly inserted his finger deeper and deeper into her body. "i want my body buried in your body. is that what you want, querida? do you want me the same way i want you?" her delicate muscles clenched around him. hot. fiery. moist with need. watching her face, he withdrew his finger, carefully inserted two, stretching her a little more, inch by inch. "tell me you want me, colby. i need to hear you say it." he needed to hear her say it because he had to be with her, share her body, share her skin and blood and bones.

colby shook her head, tormented beyond all reasoning. yes, she wanted him, every cell in her body needed him. her body was wound so tight, the pressure unbearable so that she didn't think she'd survive without him. but he was demanding everything from her. not a part of her, everything.

and you will give me everything. it was a growl. a command.

"no." she said the word even as he pressed his fingers deeper, even as her body tightened and threatened to shatter into a million fragments, she struggled to keep who and what she was intact.

rafael could feel her body's response. she wanted him. she moved restlessly, her head turning from side to side on the pillow, a soft sound escaping from her throat. she tried to protest again. he felt it welling up in her as she struggled away from the rising need. he withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his mouth, his tongue probing deep. she cried out, startled, her body rippling with life, fragmenting, imploding, so that she was shocked at the intensity of the waves of pleasure rocking her. she tried to wrench away, the pleasure shattering her, but he clamped his arm over her hips and held her still, drinking her in. he refused to stop, pushing her further, wanting her need to rise in direct proportion to his own voracious hunger.

colby struggled against the pulse after pulse of sensation tormenting her body, carrying her away when she needed to be anchored. she thrashed beneath him, unable to tamp down the fire racing through her body enough to breathe. she couldn't catch her breath, couldn't think clearly. fear clutched at her. the sheet knotted in her fists and she tried to pull away from the assault his mouth was making, his tongue flicking and teasing until her nerves were screaming for release.

"you have to stop," she gasped. colby was completely losing herself in the firestorm of pleasure rushing through her. he was taking her over. she couldn't get away from his mouth and tongue. her body just kept winding tighter and tighter, burning hotter and hotter until she knew she would explode. worse, lust was rising, sharp and deadly, the need so strong it terrified her.

she couldn't hold a single thought, not even to save herself. the pleasure was bordering on pain, the pressure building and building. she never wanted him to stop, she wanted to shatter into a million pieces. she wanted to be whatever he needed, go wherever he led. a low cry of terror escaped her as his tongue picked up the rhythm and pulsed deeper into her body. he was ravenous, driving her over the edge ruthlessly as her body twisted and bucked beneath him. not once, but twice, three times, until one orgasm ran into the other and her mind dissolved and her body blew apart.

he rose above her, shoving her thighs apart to accommodate him, opening her fully to him. his erection was thick and heavy and intimidating, his eyes like flint as he pressed into her slick entrance. she could feel him there, stretching her, just waiting, when her entire body tensed, frustrated, pulsing and throbbing with need. she had the mad desire to impale herself on him, but he held her hips still with hard hands. his expression was raw hunger, his mouth a merciless slash. "are you going to say no to me again, colby? are you going to deny me what is truly mine?" his voice was rough, harsh, his temper swirling over both of them.

she gave a small tormented cry. was he giving her one last chance to save herself? how could she say no when she needed him now, when everything in her had to have him deep inside her body?

"are you?" he insisted.

colby shook her head. she couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, her body on fire, fear flowing like lava through her veins at the thought of what was to come. he was shattering her and reconstructing her, so that she would always crave him, always need him. a part of her recognized it, but she couldn't stop the dark hunger he was arousing in her.

never again. it was a decree, bit out between his clenched teeth.

rafael thrust hard, driving deep into her in one hard stroke, knowing she was too innocent for what he was doing, but unable to stop himself. he had centuries of hunger in him, a dark, ravenous hunger that spilled out of him, erupting into a fever of frenzied pounding. she was hot and tight and gripped him with a fire that nearly drove him mad.

"it's too much. it's too much," colby cried out, desperately trying to push him off of her. he was going to kill her, driving her body so high, the sensations so electric she was losing herself completely.

he caught her wrists in a vise, pinned them to the bed on either side of her head, his mouth taking hers, tongue driving deep as his hips thrust harder, deeper, wanting more, taking more.

the call was on him now, wild and primitive, a need as old as time to seal them together for all eternity. his lifemate. his other half. the words beat at him, rising from his soul as he buried himself deeply into her hot fiery sheath with the world going up in flames and spinning out of control. she was making little gasping sounds and he could feel her muscles tightening, clenching as he switched into a pounding tempo that only fed his voracious hunger.

the need to taste her grew stronger and stronger, more demanding until his mouth left hers, moved down to the warmth of her neck, traced an erotic path lower to scrape his teeth over the tempting beat of her heart. his body clenched, drenched in sweat and his heart thundered and pounded. the demon roared for release, urging him on. he was trembling with such need he thought his entire body might explode in spontaneous combustion. with a groan, rafael gave in, sinking his teeth deep.

colby moaned aloud as white-hot whips of lightning seemed to dance through her body. he calmed her, his mind now firmly in hers. rafael held her still, possessively, while he indulged his appetite, and his body plunged deeply, wildly into hers. she tasted like hot spice and warm honey. he never wanted to stop; the terrible hunger that had haunted him for centuries was, for the first time, satiated by her. colby. the blood in his veins. his life. his world.

the demon roared for more, for all of it, insisting he stake his claim. for a heartbeat of time the ritual words welled up, desperate to spill out. it was instinct, something deep within him urging him onward, instructing him in the ritual. at once tiny sparks leapt around him, colors of deep blue and silver, little stars rising from the comforter to leap around him in glittering reprimand. the words beat at him needing to be said, demanding he claim her, but rafael hesitated, the little stars dazzling his eyes. he would be below ground and she would be running the ranch in the daylight, unable to touch him when her heart and soul, her mind, urged her to do so. she would be in hell, driven to the point of insanity while he slept deep beneath the ground.

rafael immediately swept his tongue across the pinpricks on her breast and lifted his head, breathing heavily, his teeth clenched as he fought for control. he uttered his command softly to her, holding the enthrallment now. he lowered his body until her mouth was nearly against his chest, wanting her to take enough blood for a true exchange. he slashed a wound across his chest and pressed her mouth to the gash to replenish what he had taken, holding the back of her head so she couldn't escape, his body pinning hers beneath him. the moment her lips moved against his skin, he shuddered and her body tightened, an endless spiral gripping her, gripping him. little jackhammers seemed to be tripping in his head. fire consumed his blood. he drove into her harder and faster, his body slick with sweat, with pleasure.

with a small curse he clenched his teeth to prevent the words from slipping through as he stopped her from feeding. he closed the wound on his chest, bent to take possession of her mouth, releasing her from the enthrallment so that his mouth could dominate hers, sweeping every trace of his taste from the silken interior. he surged deeper into her, harder, moving like a piston, claiming her body when he couldn't take her as his species demanded.

colby began to fight him, an instinctive, almost mindless battle against the pleasure so intense she felt she might not live through it. she didn't understand how her body could be so out of control, hips rising to desperately meet his, gasping sobs pleading with him. for what? for more? always more. he was taking her apart with pleasure. she could feel her body tighten around his, her muscles clenching until she felt a scream welling up. the orgasm burst over her, endless, mindless, wiping her away so there was no colby without rafael. she felt him swell even thicker, until his hands gripped her hips hard and he thrust harshly into the tight, slick folds, over and over, sending her tumbling into another orgasm as he erupted deep into her body.

rafael lay over her, his veins singing with excitement, with exaltation. he might be sated for the moment, but he wanted more. he would live and breathe to have her again and again, to feel her body coming apart around his. he buried his face in the warmth of her neck, feeling her body shudder, feeling the aftershocks tighten her muscles around him. she was breathing hard, her heart racing. he braced himself with his arms and lifted his body carefully from hers. the way her slick heat poured over him as he emerged from her sent his blood pounding all over again.

colby touched her tongue tentatively to her swollen lips. her breasts ached. she was sore between her thighs. she couldn't look at him. couldn't look away from him. she had no idea having sex could be like that, a pleasure so deep it actually bordered on pain. a hunger so strong it bordered on insanity.

his fingertips brushed her face, her neck, trailed over her breasts. her nipples tightened, and between her legs she felt an instant throbbing response. colby turned her face away from him. "what have you done?" she whispered it, grateful for the darkness. "what have you done to me?" tears burned behind her eyelids. she would never be free of his sexual web. colby, who had always been free, always been in charge, would be forever addicted to the things this man could do to her body. and that terrified her.

his tongue rasped over the underside of her breast, dipped into her belly button, and traced her birthmark once again in a leisurely foray. he kept his body firmly over hers. she was exhausted and sore, but colby might try anything. he could feel her fear, alive and breathing in the room with him. "i told you that you were mine."

"i don't understand this." there were tears in her voice. "how did you get here? how did i let this happen?"

he lifted his head, lazy façade gone. "do not cry." deus. if she did that, she'd take him apart. he gentled his voice. "tell me why you fear me so much."

"how can you ask me that? i'm naked in my own bedroom with you and you just crawled through my body as if you owned it. you take control of me somehow. i can't get away from you." she wasn't fighting him. she was lying beneath him like a sacrifice, an offering. she couldn't even manage to summon the energy to do battle because she knew it wouldn't matter. she would never win. rafael was too powerful and he owned her body and maybe even her soul. "you don't have any idea what you've done to me, do you?"

the despair in her voice raked at him, clawed at his gut. rafael touched her mind. colby had thoughts of waiting for the right man. she wanted her first time to be with someone she loved. she had visions of a tender, romantic union.

his hands framed her face. "i know that i was rough, pequena. but i am the right man for you. i felt your pleasure. you were drowning in pleasure." and she had been. was she disappointed because he was so rough sexually? damn it, he made absolutely certain he had given her pleasure. why would she dream of some tame man who would never satisfy her the way he could? if he bent his head and took her breast in his mouth, she would shiver with need. hunger would flare instantly. he knew it. why didn't she? who was this other man she wanted? rafael could feel the fangs aching to explode but he fought back the urge, struggling to understand. her sorrow beat at him. was it so impossible for her to love him? she loved paul and ginny. she had loved her stepfather. she even loved ben. he was beginning to detest ben.

"i was drowning," she said, her voice quiet. "you've taken me over without my consent, rafael. i have no pride, no way out. you left me with nothing."

he had been prepared for anger, but not this quiet hopelessness. colby was a fighter. he could turn anger to sexual need. he had no idea what to do with her as she lay staring up at the ceiling, her heart so heavy he ached inside.

as a young carpathian he had thought often of what his lifemate would be like. later, he'd dreamed of having a woman of his own. as the endless centuries passed, he despaired of ever having one. colby was an unexpected and treasured gift and yet she didn't feel what he felt. she was supposed to love him. supposed to want him. a part of him stirred with anger, the animal in him that demanded a mate. the man tried to work out what was wrong. she belonged to him. they had shared unbelievable mind-numbing sex, their bodies so compatible, he couldn't imagine anything better. he was already eager for more, yet she was far away from him in her mind. she believed he might own her body, but was determined he would never touch her heart. he had no way to combat that.

what was he doing wrong? "i do not understand what you are telling me. we merged. i felt it. i know you felt it. how could that mean i left you with nothing?"

colby wanted to turn away from him. she wanted to be left alone to figure out what she was going to do. there was no running away. no pretending it hadn't happened or that it wouldn't happen again. "i have no choice. you left me no choice."

her sorrow beat at him. he would have preferred her anger.

he could only nod in agreement. of course he left her no choice. there was no choice for either of them. she was born for him. "you do not object to my touch."

"of course i object to your touch." anger was beginning to smolder in the pit of her stomach. it darkened her eyes and little sparks leapt around the comforter.

heat flared instantly, his jaw tightening. "you lie both to yourself and to me." his hand slid possessively over her breast, tugged at her nipple. he bent his head, watching her face, watching the helpless desire in her gaze, felt her body arc into his mouth. deliberately he slid his hand between her legs to find her damp. he lifted his head to look at her. "your body does not lie."

she slapped his face as hard as she could. she didn't have a good angle or a lot of room for movement, but the sound was loud in the room. "what you did to me was the same as rape. i don't care how much you lie to yourself, but it was. and you can do it again and again, but unless you have my consent, which you don't, it is rape when you touch me. i despise you. i despise what you can do to me. i don't want it. i don't even like you, let alone want you touching my body."

anger was hot and ugly, churning in his gut, welling up like a fountain that she dared to defy him, dared to strike him, worst of all, dared to call him a rapist. next to vampire, it was the worst condemnation he could think of. he slammed her wrists to the sheets, rising above her, his mouth coming down hard on hers. he meant it as a punishment, but the moment he touched her, the moment his tongue swept inside her mouth, he also swept inside her mind.

there was such pain. she was desolated. she didn't like him, didn't trust him. she had no tender feelings of being his lifemate as he had for her. shocked, rafael pulled away from her and sat up, pushing his fingers through his hair. she meant it. she wasn't lying to him. her body responded, but it was only her body. he had aroused her, knowing she was inexperienced, thinking she wouldn't be uncomfortable when they came together. he had not wanted their first time together to be painful to her, but she hadn't wanted it at all. she hadn't wanted him at all. he pressed his fingertips to his temples.

what had he done? lifemates were meant to be together for all eternity. her reactions made no sense to him. he thought of her every moment of his existence. she wanted him out of her life.

rafael. you are weeping.

nicolas's voice moved through him, making him aware of the burning in his chest. rafael touched his cheek and found a blood red tear. he didn't weep. he was a man. a carpathian. a hunter of the vampire. i understand none of this. it is her pain i feel. i have taken something precious from her.

her virginity belonged to you. nicolas was pragmatic about it. she has no choice but to accept you. convert her, bring her home, and she will eventually come around.

rafael winced. it hadn't been the taking of her virginity, it had been the taking of her right to choose. he swept both hands through his hair. was he so close to becoming a monster that he already behaved as one? is that it, nicolas? are we both so close to turning that we cannot behave in an honorable fashion? if that is the case, we no longer belong on this earth.

colby rolled away from him, her back to him. her body throbbed and burned and she felt sick with wanting him. how was she going to get through the rest of the night? the rest of her life? she could taste him in her mouth. feel him in her skin. she ached for him between her thighs. she may not want him, but she needed him the way an addict did a drug. the terrible pressure in her body would never go away without him. it wouldn't matter what man she turned to, rafael's possession of her would haunt her every relationship. she burned. there was no other word for it. she lay there crying, tears running down her face, despising him, despising herself, but she wanted him buried deep in her body, hard and hot and taking her beyond any place she could go herself. he had made her his whore, pure and simple.

"you are not my whore." rafael was appalled that the thought had come into her mind. "where do these thoughts come from?" he laid his hand gently on the small of her back, fingers splayed wide. "i'm sorry, colby. i did not understand what you were telling me. i did not think beyond my need for you." he was sorry for the pain he caused, for taking her without permission, but try as he might, he couldn't be sorry for possessing her. he ached inside. he wanted to find a way to fix his mistake, but without knowing why she wasn't responding to him other than physically, he had no way of doing so. he wanted more than her physical love. she was his lifemate and she was supposed to love him wholly.

his palm, meant to comfort, burned a hole through her back. sent electricity sizzling through her bloodstream. her body ached for his. she buried her face in the coolness of her pillow with a soft, desperate cry of protest.

"colby," he coaxed softly, "look at me."

"i can't. i can't stop crying. go away." her words were muffled.

"you know it is impossible for me to leave you like this. you need me. let me help you." he swept her hair from the nape of her neck and brushed a kiss there. he couldn't leave, not when she was in tears and her body was screaming for his. every instinct he possessed demanded he see to her needs. he kissed his way down her spine to the small of her back. "let me take care of you."

"i can never look at you again. after tonight, i never want to see you again." colby turned over, her eyes swimming with tears. "i mean it. i'll never be able to face you if i have to have you do this". she needed him. she was terrified to let him touch her. the moment he did, she would be lost. she knew that. she was certain of it.

rafael didn't wait for her to fully make up her mind. he was already damned either way. if he left her frustrated sexually she would hate him and if he satisfied her she would hate him. his body was already hard and hot and making demands of its own.

"colby, i am not a gentle man." it was the only way he could warn her. he couldn't find the emotion, even when he wanted it, not when it came to sex. he was dominant and passionate and demanded she follow his lead. he trailed his hand from her lips to her breasts, making her shiver with response.

"there's a bit of news i wouldn't have known," she whispered and close-->>

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