chapter 4

the sun coming through the glass door and right into my eyes is a painful wake-up call. i have to force myself to sit up, blocking the sun with a hand. it's christmas day. my pounding head reminds me of last night. bits of culebra's story insinuate themselves into my consciousness, stinging like wasp bites. then there's the aftertaste of all that whiskey. my throat burns. my tongue feels like i've been licking the insides of those oak barrels the stuff was aged in. i roll my head in my hands and groan.

from a galaxy far, far away, i hear the ring of a doorbell.

i sit up straighter.

my doorbell.

shit.

i'll ignore it. even santa wouldn't have the bad judgment to ring my doorbell this early.

the doorbell rings again. this time, one long sustained clash of bells, like someone is leaning an elbow on the fucking thing.

persistent bugger.

foolhardy.

slowly, i haul my ass out of bed, pull on a pair of sweats, shrug into a tee and start downstairs, dragging fingers through my hair as i go. hand on the doorknob, i grind my teeth in anticipation of kicking the ass of whoever is standing behind the door. the scowl on my face should give even santa pause. i yank open the door.

"surprise!!"

is it! three pairs of laughing, wonderfully familiar, totally unexpected eyes gleam at me for a second before i'm completely wrapped in three pairs of arms all hugging me and clapping me on the back and kissing my cheeks in one fell swoop of exuberance.

my family has come to visit.

the scowl gusts away like a candle blown by a breeze. i'm laughing and hugging back and overwhelmed by how happy their unexpected presence makes me.

i herd the trio into the living room and get them seated on the couch. i take the chair opposite so i can look at them. it hasn't been that long since i've seen them, three months or so, but each time i do, i take mental inventory. when they're gone, the memory is all i have to cling to.

mom looks as healthy and happy as ever. she's gained a few pounds in the year she's been away, but she wears it well. her hair is no grayer than it was, but the hairstyle is different. cut in a stylish bob that makes her look much younger than her sixty-plus years. dad hasn't changed a bit. still carries himself like the successful businessman he was... or is. he's gone from retired investment banker to running a winery. the change agrees with him. tan, broad-shouldered, he reminds me more than ever of a roman nobleman with his close-cropped hair of gray curls.

but trish. my niece looks different every time i see her. she's grown from an awkward thirteen-year-old into a graceful, self-confident soon-to-be fifteen-year-old. her hair is drawn back from her smooth, even-featured face with a barrette and cascades down her back to just below shoulder length. she's wearing jeans and a designer t-shirt with a logo i don't recognize... something french.

they've been chattering like excited squirrels. "you all look so happy," i find myself interjecting. "so wonderful!"

mom beams at me. "oh, anna. we love france. trish is doing well in school. speaks french like a native."

"merci beaucoup, grand-mere," trish says with a grin.

mom laughs. "your dad has become quite the vintner and business is growing. just a year and our wines have begun taking prizes in local fests."

"of course most of the credit has to go the great staff we inherited with the winery," dad says with a modest smile. "but we've experimented with some new grape blends that are getting noticed."

"and wonder of wonders," mom adds, "your dad is beginning to appreciate french food."

she reaches over to take his hand. they're like a couple of kids again. dad beams. "i like your mother's french cooking," he says, eyes twinkling. "it's a start."

trish has been looking around. "no christmas tree, aunt anna?"

i shake my head. "too busy. but david and i have one at the office."

yikes. a thought strikes me with the force of a sledgehammer. i should be offering them breakfast and i have no food in the house. not a scrap. comes with the territory, being a vamp and all.

how do i explain that to my family? "i wish you'd told me you were coming. i don't have anything to offer you."

"i know we've surprised you, anna," my mom is saying. "how about we take you to breakfast? if i remember correctly, you were never much of a cook."

thank you, mom. "where would you like to go? how about the mission cafe? it's right down the street. i think it's open for breakfast today."

"got something better in mind. let's go to the house."

"your house? in la mesa?"

"it's the reason we're here," dad says. "we've made a decision."

before i can react, trish says, "we got in late last night. so we went right there and opened it up. we went shopping and everything."

"and we have a lot of things to do," mom says. "things that affect you. trish has a break from school so we thought this the perfect time."

wow. mom is standing up and the others do, too. my cue to do the same. "did you drive here?" it's the only thing i can think to ask.

mom touches my cheek. "we've probably overwhelmed you. let's get to the house and we can sort it all out."

dad rattles car keys. "the rental is right out front."

trish links her arm through mine, steers me toward the door. "what's with the new boyfriend? we've been watching him on the news. he's totally hot, aunt anna."

"i'll tell stephen you said that," i say, thinking this is the best christmas present. ever.

chapter 5

it's been almost a year since i've been in my parents' house. it was last christmas, in fact. just before they left for a new life in france. a life that didn't, that couldn't, include me.

in spite of open windows, there is still an air of mustiness, of emptiness. a house devoid of life. until trish's laugh chases away the gloom. we've finished breakfast (another marvel of sleight of hand as i pretend to consume eggs and toast when in reality, the food becomes a lump in my napkin) and are sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, surrounded by boxes and memories. the announcement came during the meal.

my folks have decided to sell the house.

i'm still in shock, though i know it's the right thing to do. this place represents the past. france is their future.

i look around at the three people i love most in the world. they're here to pack up what they want to take back with them. in the process, trish gets a peek into the history of her family.

she never knew my brother, the man she thinks is her father. he died before she was born. it's only her presence that makes what would be an unbearably sad task, going through his things, tolerable. she's eager to learn everything she can about him and for the first time, mom and dad can share their memories without the gray specter of grief casting a pall. they can laugh and remember the good things.

i join in with memories of growing up in the shadow of a brother who always made straight as, who excelled at any sport he took a fancy to, who never caused my folks the slightest bit of anxiety - in other words, the direct opposite of me.

predictably, my folks deny that i was a problem child. they have to, don't they? but trish enjoys the banter and reads between the lines. we loved each other unconditionally, without reservation. she knows this and i see the conflict in her eyes. sadness because she was denied knowing that kind of happiness in the miserable home she grew up in with her mother, and gratitude that she is at last safe and loved.

i reach over and give her arm a squeeze. if i ever second-guess myself that bringing trish into our family was a mistake, i'll remember this moment. the glow on my parents' faces, the love in trish's eyes. she may not be related by blood, but she is related by heart. nothing else matters.

it takes three days to sort, pack, label and ship almost forty years of memories. i take a few mementos that belonged to my grandparents... the original owners of the property where i now live.

they left the cottage to me and when a spiteful vampire burned it down not long after i was turned, every picture, every keepsake i had was destroyed. it would be nice to replace a few of those items. to restore their presence in real, tangible ways.

too soon it's time for my family to leave. trish's school holiday is almost over. mom calls for a donation truck to empty the house. a realtor is contracted to handle the listing. there are a few items of furniture that trish may want sometime in the future and they are stored in a rental unit not far from me.

hand in hand, the four of us walk through the house for the final time. but it's not with heavy hearts. it's with eager anticipation for the future. one door closed. another opened.

even the rain grants a reprieve that last day. the sun feels hot and bright on my face as i shepherd my family into my car for the drive to the airport.

i should feel sad. instead, i feel peace. we part with promises to visit again soon. i give trish an extra hug before watching them disappear into the terminal. she will make the transition so much easier for my parents.

the transition that will come when they must go again from having two children, to having just one.

the knowledge is bittersweet. i've given them a niece to take the place of the vampire. my future with my family is now her future.

i wish my heart could accept it as easily as my brain.

chapter 6

january 1. new year's day. what a roller coaster of a holiday season i've had. one good thing that came from my family's surprise visit was that i didn't have time to think about culebra. now that they're gone, his story keeps intruding into my head.

an assassin. how could that be?

i'm in the office, taking down the lights we'd strung on the deck. tracey and david are still on vacation. it's the first break we've taken since tracey came on board. i'm enjoying it. i trust they are, too. and with stephen due to come home in a few days, i'll be able to take advantage of the fact that i've been pulling office duty and let my partners take over. stephen and i can spend some quality time together. some quality bed time.

i get that tickly, tingling feeling that comes when i think about sex with stephen. he's human, but i don't have to hold back with him. he allows me to love him completely, which means i can feed from him if i need or want to. he doesn't impose limits. quite a difference from the other human lover i had... max. i thought he had gotten over our breakup, had gotten past the bitterness. seeing him at culebra's made me realize he hadn't let go of any of it. he blames me for being what i am.

as if i had a choice.

as if i'd voluntarily choose to give up my family or the possibility of children or the million other simple pleasures i no longer enjoy because i'm vampire.

as if i'd take on the burden of being the chosen one, always looking over my shoulder, always aware of my role as protector if there were any way to avoid it.

i realize i'm working myself into a fit of righteous anger when the string of lights i'm tugging on breaks with a snap.

shit.

i stare at the broken strands.

max can still push my buttons.

i toss the lights into the trash.

at least he took my mind off culebra.

the office looks pretty good. last hour i stored the decorations, did some filing that had piled up, straightened the desk, even swept the floor. a little physical activity is always a good way to clear the mental decks.

it's late afternoon. the sun is low on the horizon, and i step outside. clouds are boiling up from the south, which means more rain. the air is heavy with it. time to get home and settle in with a nice glass of merlot.

you know the feeling you get when someone is watching you? the itch just out of reach under your skin? i have that feeling now and it stops me cold. my senses spring into hyperdrive. i tilt my face up to sniff the air.

and i catch it.

at first i think i must be imagining it. the scent of fresh washed hair and sunshine. i know who it is before i see that the office door is open and spy the two figures standing there.

for the second time in a week, i get a surprise.