Dying Wish (Sentinel Wars #6)

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if he died, who would recruit those nearing the end of their time? who would watch out for them? he couldn't give that burden to someone else. he alone was strong enough to resist his darker urges. his absolute commitment to his brothers had kept him going for years. his devotion to rules he created for himself had hidden his condition, even from the other members of the band. none of them knew his soul was dead, only that he was nearing his end.

one day he'd go down fighting, but he refused to give up. he might not have the gentler emotions that made up what passed for a conscience, but he had his honor. he remembered what it was like to love someone so utterly that nothing else mattered.

serena was long gone, but his brothers had filled the void, giving him a purpose to replace the hope he'd lost so long ago.

cain nodded and held out his hand. "okay."

iain extended the ring. "it burns like hell."

"i'm used to pain."

"when you find your woman, be sure to take it off and return it to me. you won't be able to bond while wearing it. you may not even be able to detect compatibility." madoc had worn that ring and had learned that bit of information the hard way.

"i understand."

cain slid the ring onto one thick finger and clenched his hand into a fist. if he felt the cold burn coming off the metal, he hid it well.

"good. now sit down and let me tell you what you need to do-what will keep you from being sent to the slayers."

chapter 3

torr stood at grace's side. she'd grown so thin, so pale. all the beauty and vitality that had once filled her every movement was now gone. with every passing day, she slipped further away from him.

the machine that breathed for her hissed quietly, breaking the silence of the room.

torr held her hand, refusing to voice his anger at her actions. she'd done this to herself. she'd saved him, thinking he was more important.

she couldn't have been more wrong. the world was full of people, but few had souls as pure and good as grace. her limitless kindness was now gone, and the world was a darker place for its loss.

logan came into the room with his woman, hope, at his side.

"what did you find out?" torr asked.

logan's bleak expression said it all. even the unearthly beauty of his kind couldn't mask the ugly truth. "i was unable to locate help. i'm sorry."

"what do you mean?"

"tynan is the strongest healer among us. there are only two more in the world whose skills surpass his. one died a few days ago. the other is sleeping."

"then wake him up."

"it's not that easy, torr. he went to sleep because he was too weak to continue."

"i'll give him my blood. he can have it all." he didn't care if he died, so long as grace lived.

"it's not enough. i'm sorry. you have to let her go."

torr's grip on grace had grown too tight, and he had to consciously relax his hold on her delicate fingers. "no."

"it's cruel to leave her hooked to these machines. she gave you a gift-one which you are squandering with your thoughtlessness."

"i want her to live."

"she's human. even if the device hadn't paralyzed her, she would have died in a heartbeat of time."

"a lifetime."

"a brief, human lifetime. your suffering is inevitable. the sooner you let her go, the sooner her pain can end and your healing can begin."

torr was never going to get over what he'd let grace do to herself. even if she survived, he'd live with his guilt until his last breath. it was his job to protect humans. he'd taken a vow, and yet she'd been the one to risk her life to save him.

torr barely kept control over his anger, keeping it out of his voice in deference to grace. "you sound like iain. you act as though she's a thing i can easily toss away. you're wrong. if i lose her, i won't survive it."

logan's mouth bowed with pity. "you will. you can't see clearly now, but i've seen it before. this is the nature of things."

torr sprang up, balling his hands into fists to keep from wrapping them around logan's pretty neck. he stared at the new woman. "i've heard you can see auras-that you can read people."

"i can," said hope.

"is she in pain?"

hope's gaze moved past him to where grace lay on the bed. "she's confused. sad."

"so she is still in there?"

hope nodded, making her blond ponytail sway. "barely. she's weak."

"she's a fighter. she'll make it through this. we just have to find someone strong enough to heal her."

logan sighed. "what if there is no one? how long will you force her to stay here, tethered to this place?"

determination rose up inside him, like a fortified wall no one could tear down. he gave logan a hard stare, warning the leech to back off. "as long as it takes."

as soon as the door shut behind logan, hope pulled him to a stop. the sorrow haunting her eyes was nearly too much for logan to bear. he wanted to wipe it away, to make her smile again. he wasn't quite ready to reveal his surprise for her, but perhaps it was better to tell her sooner rather than later. anything to see her happy.

"you mustn't do this to yourself," he told her. "promise me you won't come back here and witness torr's suffering."

"i want to help. i need to help."

"there's nothing anyone can do. we'll console torr when grace has passed. he's going to need us."

she shook her head. "it's just so sad, you know? so unfair."

logan pulled her into his arms and held her tight. seeing torr reminded him of how lucky he was, how precious hope was to him. if anything ever happened to her...

he couldn't even think about such things. they made dark, evil feelings swirl deep inside of him, threatening to break free. hope was fine. she was his. all was well.

"i've been thinking about it for a long time," she said. "i didn't want to say anything in front of torr, but i think i might have an idea."

logan pulled back enough to peer down into her lovely face. so sweet, his hope. he'd never tire of looking at her. "what do you mean?"

"my memories of temprocia have continued to come back."

temprocia, the world where she'd been born and raised. her memories of the place had been removed for her protection, but they'd been returning slowly ever since she'd taken his blood.

"how does that help grace?" he asked.

her blond brows drew together in concentration. "i don't remember everything, but i remember a woman, a healer. i can't recall her name, but i can see her face. she had no wrinkles, but there was a wisdom there-a kind of timeless intellect, as if she knew all the secrets of the world. i remember looking at her and knowing she could do anything. what if she can help grace?"

warnings sounded in logan's head. hope had proved she was more than willing to put herself in harm's way to save another. he didn't want her anywhere near danger ever again. "perhaps she could, but since there's no way of reaching her, it's best if we don't mention this in front of torr."

hope pulled her gaze away from his and stared at the floor. "what if there is a way?"

"the fact that you won't look me in the eye when you say that tells me that it's far too dangerous to even consider. grace is dying. we have to accept that and move on."

"i can't. i have so much. my life is full and happy. what kind of person would i be if i didn't try to give that chance for happiness to someone else?"

that was just one more reason why he loved her.

despite the fact that he knew he'd regret asking, he did anyway. "what were you thinking?"

"i came here through the sentinel stone in the tyler building."

"the one i had relocated here, just in case any more women like you come through." he desperately hoped that they would, too. his fellow sanguinar were starving, and there was something special about hope's blood that took away that hunger. at least it had for him.

she was what his kind should have been if they hadn't been cursed before their birth. she had no thirst for blood. she could walk in the sun. and while logan wished that he, too, had such freedoms, there was no other person he'd rather see happy than hope.

"what if we can somehow get a message through the stone? we could call for help."

"assuming we can, how would that help?"

"i am having flashes of a memory-just little bits that keep teasing me. there's something there, and if i can uncover it, i think i'll know how to operate the stone."

"gateways are tricky things. dangerous things."

"i can do this, logan. i just need your help."

he didn't like it. he didn't like anything that put her in possible danger. but he knew better than to deny her. if he didn't help her, she'd find someone who would. she wouldn't let this puzzle go-not while grace's life hung in the balance.

logan nodded. "if you wish, i'll help you, but you have to promise me that you won't do anything without me."

she smiled, and logan's entire world brightened. "i promise."

her vow settled gently over his shoulders, comforting him. "mention this to no one. if torr gets even a hint of our purpose, he will be relentless. i won't have him pushing you beyond what's safe."

"i agree. we'll do this alone. if it works, then we'll tell him."

and after they determined the outcome of this attempt to save grace's life, he'd tell her what he'd done and give her what he hoped would be her wedding gift.

jackie entered joseph's office, and he immediately rose to his feet. she averted her gaze, seeking out anything that would distract her from the hope she saw spring into his expression with her mere presence.

the room was cluttered with maps and papers, photographs, and a stack of unopened letters. weapons hung on the walls, and she was certain that they were for more than mere show. a cluttered conference table had been pushed against a wall, the chairs filled with rolled maps, cables, and a few spare electronics. the large window behind his desk offered a clear view of the grounds outside, including the outdoor workout area where several men lifted ridiculous amounts of weight. judging by their size and the trees marking the bare chests of some, she guessed them to be theronai.

jackie stopped dead in her tracks, freezing as she caught sight of them. if they could see in, they might come here and demand things of her that she wasn't willing to give.

joseph must have realized her problem, because he turned and lowered the blinds, blocking out the possibility of being seen.

"thank you," she managed, despite the tightness in her throat.

"sure. please, have a seat."