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"if you believe that, why did you save mikhail's life? i heard about it, of course. everyone was talking about what you did for him in the caves when he was attacked. if you don't believe he's capable of leading the carpathian people, why risk your life for his? why die for him? especially if you had already seen me and knew you had a lifemate. why would you bother?"
he folded his arms across his chest and looked down at her from his superior height, a frown on his face. "it is my duty."
"manolito, that is ridiculous. you aren't a man to blindly follow someone you don't believe in. you may have questioned your prince's decision, but you believed in him, and you must believe in his son or you would never have gone into battle with him, pledged your allegiance to him or given your life for his."
"i did much more than question my prince's decisions," he said.
she watched the shifting of shadows across his face, the flicker of torment in the depths of his eyes. now they were getting somewhere. now he was going to reveal his deepest guilt. she knew what he was going to say before he said it, because his mind was deeply merged with hers and she could see the guilt there, the fear that he had betrayed a prince he admired, deeply respected and even loved.
he didn't see it that way, and that fascinated her. he didn't realize how much he admired vlad dubrinsky and how upset he had been at the prince's ultimate defeat and death at the hands of their enemy. more importantly, he didn't realize that his anger was at himself, for going, for choosing to fight in a remote land for people who cared nothing for the carpathians.
"i betrayed vlad every time i sat down with my brothers and questioned his judgments and decisions. riordan and i told you some of it earlier, but it was a very watered-down version of our talks. we made an art of it. picking apart the prince's every command and examining it from every angle. we believed he should listen to us, that we knew more than he did."
"you were young, not yet grown and still able to feel emotion." she knew that much because his emotions then had been very strong. he had felt superior, both physically and intellectually, to many of the other fighters. his brothers had all been the same, and they enjoyed their debates on how best to serve their countrymen, how best in steer the carpathian people through the perils of each new century. "was it betrayal, manolito, in your hearts and minds, when you debated, or was it merely trying to discuss ways to better the lives of your people?"
"it may have started that way." he pushed both hands through his hair. "i know we clearly saw the fate of our people when few others could see the future. we did not need to have precognition, only our brains, and it was irritating that others could not see what we saw."
"did the prince listen? you must have gone to him."
"as head of our family, zacarias did. of course he listened. vlad listened to everyone. he led us, but he always allowed the warriors to speak in counsel. we may have been young, but he respected us."
maryann watched the raw emotions chase across his face. manolito faced vampires and mages with poisoned knives stoically, his features stone, yet now he was upset, his past too close to the surface. she wanted him to understand that the boyhood memory wasn't one of betrayal. she sought the right words, the
right feelings...
do not! the command was sharp and pushed at the walls of her mind. "i do not deserve the warmth you send to me. nor do i deserve the feelings you are trying to plant in my memories."
she blinked at him, shocked that he would think she would try to plant anything in anyone's mind.
"we came up with a plan, maryann. in our arrogance and superiority, in our belief that we knew more than any other, we came up with a plan to not only destroy the dubrinsky family, but all enemies of the carpathian people. the carpathians would rule all species. and the plan was not only brilliant and possible, but it is being used against our prince as we speak."
his voice broke on the last word, and he hung his head in shame.