tic childhood.

"i want to go with you," natalya said. "to the cave. ihave to go."

"natalya," vikirnoff cautioned.

"no, it's razvan. i have to see if there's a chance we're wrong about him. maybe we'll find something, a clue to what's been happening."

vikirnoff muttered something under his breath. "the cave is a death trap. you were there, natalya, you

know it is."

"he kept me away from xavier. i could be the one with the nightmare childhood. i could be the one he experimented on and fed off. razvan saved me, vikirnoff. i love my brother and if i can at least clear his name so his children think better of him, then i owe him that much."

vikirnoff shook his head. "it is insanity to go back there. you know that."

nicolas understood exactly how vikirnoff felt. the last thing he wanted to do was to take lara back to the underground labyrinth that xavier had created.i have to go, nicolas. if it was your family you would go .

the problem, he decided, once your heart was involved, all logic went out the window. it mattered little that he knew it was dangerous, but now he understood her needs and that made the decision not quite as easy as it had been when he had no emotions. his eyes met vikirnoff's, for the first time understanding the difficulties with keeping women safe.

"the caveman method had value," vikirnoff stated.

"i agree," nicolas said, sighing inwardly.i said i would take you. i do not go back on my word .

"then we go tomorrow night?" natalya asked.

"the night after," vikirnoff corrected. "i want to do a little reconnaissance before we go and we have to attend the warriors' council. jacques's baby will be named in the warriors' circle. it is important we all attend to support jacques and shea. should something ever happen to shea, jacques could not survive it. their son would have need of our entire community."

the warriors' council... where he had intended to support gregori in their bid to keep women away from fighting. nicolas nearly groaned aloud. "have you heard news of the prince's lifemate? i assumed she was having problems again."

natalya looked down at her hands, her expression sad. "not only is raven having problems, but evidently savannah is as well. it doesn't look good. gregori is working with both of them and syndil has been working with the surrounding soil, but both women are bleeding, their bodies trying to reject the babies."

a burst of pain in lara's head had her wrenching her hand free of nicolas in order to press at her temples. her mind seemed to splinter for a moment, and a door cracked open. she had a brief glimpse of a sobbing woman, blood on the floor and piles of dirt around her. xavier stood over her smiling with satisfaction.

"sometimes we must make small sacrifices for the greater good, my dear. one lost child to ensure that the death of many continues is not too small of a price to pay."

bile welled up and she stood fast, pushing nicolas away from her and rushing from the house to stand outside in the fresh, cold air where she could breathe. nicolas came up behind her, placing gentle hands on her shoulders.

lara shook him off, taking a step forward, breathing fast. "don't. don't say anything yet." he had seen that small vignette of her past. she had felt him there at that first burst of pain, before either realized what

"you cannot possibly think you are in any way responsible for anything xavier has done. he wanted immortality and he was angry and bitter that he did not have it and the carpathians did. he wanted every power our species had as well as his own. when rhiannon's lifemate was murdered and she disappeared, we knew he had been plotting against us for years. of course we had no way of knowing the extent of the damage or what he had done. he is a master mage, and undeniably powerful. the seeds of hatred and his descent into madness began centuries before you were ever born."

"his blood is in my veins." she gestured toward the house. "in her veins. he set out to destroy an entire species in the foulest way he could think of." she looked at him then, her eyes sad, shamed. "you know that's what we saw. more experiments. he's done something, has been doing it all along, to make the women miscarry, to make the children die." she tilted her head in challenge. "you don't know him the way i do. you can't kill him. you can't stop him. he is the most despicable creature on the face of the earth, the most evil."

nicolas understood what she meant. xavier had murdered his own son. had kidnapped, raped and forced rhiannon to bear him children and then, after using her blood for years, had murdered her. he had imprisoned his grandson and experimented on him, tortured him and used his children for a blood supply. he had murdered his grandson's mage wife. there was nothing he could find redeeming about xavier. he'd never liked him in the old days when the mages and carpathians had a strong alliance.

"it isn't all mages, you know," she said softly. "my mother was mage."

"fel ku kuuluaak swam belso,"he whispered.

beloved. was she beloved? could someone as strong as nicolas possibly really understand, accept and love someone as damaged as she?

his mouth curved even as he kissed her again. we both know i am not without my faults, as much as i would like to pretend otherwise. you need to eat this night. we will go to the inn .

she nodded. "i want to check on my friends anyway. let's go."

nicolas glanced back at the house. lara needs a little time. i will take her to the inn to get some food. we can meet after the warriors' council and check out the cave before we bring the women .

a feminine voice gave a small huff of disdain. the women ?

lara's voice echoed her aunt's. there you go with your women theme. i suspect you have hidden issues, nicolas .

you have no idea. she was feeling benevolent toward him now, but after the warriors' council, she wouldn't be too happy.