i drove home in a near coma. i was so out of it by the time i got in the front door, i couldn't see straight. i slipped up the stairs and flopped on my bed. his scent wafted up into the air from his pillow. i grabbed it and threw it across the room.

"easy tiger."

i jumped seeing coop standing where i threw the pillow.

"what are you doing here?" i asked looking around.

he put a finger to his lips. jules came running into the room and jumped on the bed. she curled into me and cried. mitch wasn't far behind her. he wrapped himself around us and joined in on the crying.

it broke everything inside of me. their suffering wasn't a random accident. it was the recklessness of a philandering father. a man i would let die, even if it meant i was in danger. no matter what, they would always believe the lies. i was selling my soul to the devil to ensure it.

i held my children to me and forgot we had an audience, until my mom came in. she stood in the doorway and smiled, "fresh cookies on the rack downstairs cooling."

i kissed mitch on the cheek and smiled, "go on." he wiped his face and shoved his ball cap down, then he stalked past his grandma like a tough guy. jules was asleep. i nudged her, "cookies."

she didn't stir. i lifted her off the bed and carried her to her room.

when i came back in, i climbed on the bed and smiled at my mom, "thanks for making those."

she shook her head, "no. no thank-you needed. this is what family does, when one of theirs is hurting."

i nodded, "you always were a good mom. you're an even better grandma."

she laughed and sat on the bed. i glanced around, looking for coop but he wasn't there.

"that's the payment for suffering through having kids. you get grandkids," she beamed.

i rolled my eyes, "me and sis were easy."

she folded her arms around her and grinned, "i never said you weren't. but you were kids. kids are kids."

i put a hand on hers and saw the resemblance. we had the same hands. i had hers. i squeezed, "i need you to leave town."

she shook her head, "no, the kids need stability."

i pressed my lips together and took a deep breath, "they need to survive something i'm about to tell you, that you may never speak of to anyone. i am telling you, not only so you are prepared to run and raise them on your own, but so you understand what i'm doing."

she squeezed my hand back, "evie honey, you're scaring me."

i looked into her green eyes and nodded, "you should be scared. james did some bad things. he betrayed the country. he sold secrets. he was a rogue agent."

she shook her head, but i could see the truths making their way into her mind. her eyes showed the doubts she was having and the uncertainty of her headshake.

i whispered, "a bad man owns everything of mine. my home, my van, my car, my bank accounts, everything has been transferred into the ownership of this bad man. i have nothing. ci has basically told me, i will help or i will fry for the things james did. i have to help fix james' mistake. it's the only way to get the danger out of our lives and get what's rightfully ours back."

her face changed and i didn't know the look she was giving me. she looked around oddly, and whispered so silently, i barely caught her word, "evie, we can run. we can take the kids. i have a little nest egg your father put aside, for just a moment like this one. i know a place." she looked frightened, as silent tears slipped down her pale cheeks,

i shook my head and cut her off, "no. they'll find me. they'll hurt the kids or you. they know all about all of us. there is no way."

ideas flew through her mind; i could see them rolling by like clouds in the sky. she twitched and shook her head, "we can go to the fbi."

i laughed, "james hasn't broken a law they govern. as far as they're concerned, he's dead. ci is going to take the three of you and go pick up sissy, and take you somewhere. somewhere safe. i won't help them if they don't do this. i want you safe until this is over." my voice cracked, "you keep my babies safe."

she pulled her hand away, "god damned him. what was he thinking?"

i shook my head, "he was leaving me for mel. it never was me he wanted. he got me pregnant. i just never knew. dad told him to do the right thing."

her hands flew to her eyes, "you know?"

i gave her a look, "what?"

she sniffled and shook her head, "you know that for certain?"

i nodded.

she sobbed and shook her dark head. i crawled to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"you can't do this to them. you can't abandon them."

i pulled her back and smiled, "i'm not. i'm giving them the only person i trust in the whole world to keep them safe." i looked to the side of the room and spoke softly, "you can come out, coop."

he stepped from the walk-in closet with a savage look on his face, until my mom lifted hers. instantly, the clouds from his face were gone and he smiled at her. it wasn't his cocky smile either. it was sweet. i could see just how handsome he was with it.

"who are you?" she asked him. she sounded terrified.

his eyes darted at me, "everything she said was true. james was a bad man and has put the country in danger. my name is william cooper. i'm in the section of the government where evie and your late husband used to work. we need her to come back to work and help us."

mom looked at me and shook her head, "will she be in danger?"

i bit my lip and looked down. i didn't want her to see the face i was making, she could read my face too easily.

coop smiled and shook his head, "no. i'm very good at my job, ma'am. i will keep your daughter completely safe." he offered her his hand, "you have my word."

i rolled my eyes. he was nine years old for god's sake; what word did he have to give? mom ate it up though. she smiled and eventually got up off the bed.

i looked at coop and nodded but spoke to my mother, "can you go tell the kids they get to go on a fun trip and i'll make arrangements here with him."

she looked at us both and then walked from the room. she wasn't happy and i didn't blame her. i would kill jules myself, if she ever said something like that to me.

she closed the door and instantly coop lashed at me. he grabbed my arms, "what are you doing?" he shook me. i jerked free and shoved him back, "you aren't keeping them here as fucking bait. so you can play ball with me or i walk. i will go to jail for whatever the hell james did, just to see them safe."

he paced across the carpet for a minute and then picked up his phone. he dialed and held it to his ear.

he shot me a dirty look as he spoke "i need an evac and i need it now."

he hated whatever they said to him next; the look he gave me was absolute fury, "you tell anyone i've called you and that weekend i may or may not have footage, goes live." he ran his hands over his short, dark-blond hair and then looked back at me, pointing as they talked in his ear. he mouthed the words, "you are a pain in my ass."

i rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

he continued, "no, she wants the family evac'd. she wants them out now... tonight. no. she wants them in a safe house... out of country. i'm thinking canada, or even alaska. find a fishing lodge, or something the kids can have fun at, and they can blend. something where we can post people and make them look like part of the resort. i want this to be handled by martin's team." he paced, still holding his hand on the top of his head.

my frantic eyes searched him for signs of body language. in the tiny space between his t-shirt and jeans i could see his stomach. i wasn't certain if the tattoo on his side, which dipped into his pants, suited him or not. it was sexy and fun looking, whereas he seemed like an asshole most of the time. his face was a storm of repressed fury. he reminded me of my dad a bit.

he snapped a finger in front of my face when he caught me looking him over, and continued to speak into the phone quietly, "i want the jet ready and directions to be disclosed in the air like with the maclean case. the pilots will be at the resort with them the entire time. no leaks this time. make sure it's some place we own, sheriffs and whatnot as employees. don't even mess with me, mickey. i got your wife on speed dial. yeah, fuck you too. see ya, man."

i frowned and mouthed, "this time."

he shook his head at me and snarled. i glared back.

"done." he tapped the off and pointed at me, "don't fuck with me. i run this show; i tell you how it goes. no more stunts."

i swallowed and looked away, seeing the anger on his face i decided then that he didn't suit the tattoo. cute and flirty coop was not consistent enough to suit the sexy tat.

he leaned into my face and shouted, "i mean it, evie!" his nostrils flared when he was angry.

i flinched at his rage. he softened when he saw my face, "what time did the card say?"

i felt a strong desire to kick him in the face. i hadn't been yelled at like that, since i was in basic training. i looked down at the floor and took a breath.

he dropped to his knees in front of me, "i shouldn't have yelled," he brushed it off.

i scowled at him, "you're single aren't you?"

he chuckled, but it wasn't friendly, it was sort of bitter. "you're not really my type. i get the whole cougar thing is huge, but i'm not into it. i like it when i'm on top and all you forty-types always want to steer."

my hand flew at him, he caught it and gave me an outraged look, "what was that for?"

i yanked my hand from him, "i'm not a cougar! i'm not forty! i wasn't hitting on you, you moron, i was mocking you!" i got off the bed and walked out of the room looking back at him with daggers.

"little bastard," i muttered and stomped down the stairs.

chapter five - from ma'am to madam

kissing my kids goodbye wasn't painful, it was too much pain to only measure with human emotions and words.