ays, ending her stint as a journalist and returning back to her normal life.

"this is a pretty damn good story," harper said as they ate lunch in the hotel restaurant.

"you say that like it is a surprise."

"it's not. i knew that you were a journalist before you started writing novels. why did you give it up?"

"i wanted a family," she confessed. "the next thing i knew, i was too old to compete with all those youngsters that came after me."

harper flipped the page and continued reading. "you surprised me, though. i thought you would have written a bigger story on ichiro."

"that would be bias and i wanted to give all of them equal treatment.

besides, ich is a very private fellow and doesn't like all the hoopla."

harper put the paper down and reached from her hand. he held on to it. "how long are you going to play this little cougar game? you're going to break his heart when we leave the day after tomorrow."

"why does everyone think that i'm playing a game? is it that hard to believe that someone my age can actually fall for someone his age?"

"yes, it is. but i get it. you're in a foreign country and you want to sow a little wild oats before you're back in grandma mode."

shaundra removed his hand from his grasp. that response was another reason she and harper couldn't date. he lacked depth and understanding beyond his own needs.

"and what about yori? you have him so confused. don't you know that you piss him off by messing with ichiro when he's obviously the want you want."

"you're confusing me. you think i'm leading ichiro on, but you have a soft spot for yori?"

harper shook his head. "no, i think they'd both be better off without you."

shaundra clenched her fists. that's a cruel thing to say."

"not cruel, honest. they're young, impressionable young men and they are best friends. what do you think is going to happen if you choose one of them over the other?"

"nothing, because i'm not going to make that decision. hopefully, things will return to normal between them once i leave."

he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her gently. "you can't believe that's how it's going to turn out."

why was he getting all over her case? if she was such an evil person, she would have slept with both of them.

harper released her. "maybe we shouldn't attend the party tomorrow night."

"that would be rude. mrs. niigata has gone out of her way to do this in our honor. the least we can do is show up to say good-bye to everyone."

"you are aware that the saitama's are going to be there?" harper asked.

"so what? there's nothing going on between me and yori. as far as i'm concerned, he's made his decision. and like you said, i'm going home in two days so what difference does any of this make? it was fun, but now it's over."

"maybe you have yourself convinced of that. maybe you think by walking away you can forget about them and make them forget about you.

i know what i saw in your eyes when you danced with yori that night at that club in shibuya, and i know what i saw in your eyes when you danced with ichiro at the publishing party."

shaundra's eyes misted. harper was too smart for his own good. she turned away, refusing to let him see her one moment of weakness.

"i'm sorry if i hurt you, shaundra, but you do realize that this farce can't go on any longer? let's face it. you're really in love with one of them and i know which one. why don't you tell him?"

"i can't, harper," shaundra cried.

"why not?"

"because it just wouldn't be right. look, i know i've made a mess of this. i didn't come here looking for a relationship or to fall in love. but when i did, i fell hard, and for a while i thought i could pull this off. but reality has a way of setting in late at night when i'm alone. i cannot tell him because i don't want to see the hurt look on his face. long distance relationships don't work and i can't ask him to give up his career and his citizenship and come back with me to the united states. that would be unfair." she sat down in a chair tired and exhausted.

"what about you? don't you deserve to be happy?"

"i'm fifty and he's twenty-five. i can't give him kids or speak japanese. it just wouldn't be fair. i think it is best just to walk away friends and let him go on with his life. in just two days it will all be over and i'll be doped up and on my way back to new york."

harper patted her hand. "you'll always have me."

"that's not very comforting, especially since all of this is your fault anyway."

good old american soil. shaundra didn't even bitch about all the traffic two days later as the cab drove her from the airport to her home in suburbia. new york hadn't changed much in two months. the air was still polluted and the people still walked around caring only about themselves.

it was late when she arrived and she was glad that she hadn't told her family when she would be arriving because she wasn't prepared for all the questions. shaundra paid the taxi driver, rolled her cases up to the front door and left them there, deciding to check the mail before entering.

usually, tricia got the mail, but she had gone off for the weekend with some friends and would not be returning until much later.

shaundra opened the mailbox, reached in and pulled out the mail. she turned, walked back to the door and put the key in the lock. she turned the knob and prepared to take the luggage inside. all of a sudden, there was a very loud explosion and then, everything went black.

"mama, can you hear me?"

it sounded like tricia.

"please, wake up."

shaundra tried to open her eyes, but it made her head hurt.

"she's semi-comatose," another voice said. "it may take some time before the medication wears off or she regains consciousness."

medication? where the hell am i at? what was the last thing she remembered? everything was fuzzy. she remembered the niigata's party, yori's strained facial expression as he and amaya announced the date of their wedding, ichiro's beautiful new song that he played for everyone there, and the good-byes.

"wake up, mama."

i just need a little more rest. i'm so tired. even if she wanted to wake up, she couldn't. hmm, yori's marriage announcement. she felt her chest rise and fall.

"what's wrong with her?" tricia asked.

"her blood pressure just spiked. i'll give her something to stabilize it."

wedding date, january 16, 2011. yori had tried to make eye contact with her, but she'd ignored him. she wasn't going to give either him or harper the pleasure of seeing her reaction.

ichiro's reaction to her leaving had been calm, peaceful and serene, which was an interesting parting surprise for aomori. they thought he would cry and act like a child. hmm, nothing was ever as it seems. she tried to move around, but her body and head ached. i'm injured. how? the house! it blew up. why? oh lord...the fan girl contract. stupid harper.

she'd told him that women were vindictive. she dozed off again.