the door burst open, and his dad barreled through it. as soon as his gaze lighted on ethan, his entire body sagged in relief.

"see, i told you, dad. he's fine and cranky as ever," donovan said.

frank kelly didn't respond. he hauled ethan into his beefy embrace and damn near squeezed the life from ethan. ethan winced but held on to his dad.

"i'm fine, dad," ethan said in a low voice. "it's rachel i'm worried about."

his dad held him for another long moment and then pulled away, his eyes suspiciously bright.

"your mother and my daughters-in-laware checking in on her now," frank said gruffly.

"i'm heading down there. was just waiting on you once i heard you were here," ethan said.

frank frowned. "they're already finished with you?"

ethan cleared his throat, and to his relief, donovan came to his rescue.

"told you nothing was wrong with the ornery bastard. he's too much like garrett. he's worried about rachel though. it would calm him down if he could just see her, so let's move down there so he can put his mind at ease."

ethan shot donovan a grateful look.

"you scared me, son," frank said gruffly. "i swear you boys are always getting up to something. you're going to make an old man out of me yet."

ethan grinned. "nah. just keeping you on your toes." he slapped his dad on the back. "come on. let's go see, rachel."

it was hard to keep her pregnancy secret when the medical personnel were ensuring that all was still well with her pregnancy. garrett stayed off to the side and out of the way, but then marlene kelly arrived, and hell no was anyone keeping her from her baby.

disregarding medical staff objections, marlene pushed her way to the bedside, sat down, and gathered rachel into her arms, hugging her so tightly that rachel felt smothered.

it was the very best kind of smothering.

"you scared the wits out of us all," marlene said even as she held rachel closer to her. "i've never been so scared in my life, baby. it was all over the news, and then i saw you being carried away on a stretcher, and i made poor frank break every speed limit getting here."

"i'm fine, marlene," rachel said, a smile in her voice.

she pried herself away and leaned back, taking in marlene's anxious gaze.

"ethan's the one who was hurt," rachel said, the smile fading. "he was shot. he had a vest on, but it still hurt him. i wish someone would let me know how he is."

"he's fine," garrett said from the corner. "van just came down a second ago. they're coming in just a few minutes."

marlene shook her head as she stared helplessly at garrett. "i can't even fuss at my boys for getting into trouble because they got you out, but i swear they put more gray hairs on my head with every passing day. and now that nathan and joe are back home and joined up with the rest of their brothers, i'll never sleep another night through."

garrett stepped forward and squeezed his mother's shoulders. "now, ma. you worry too much. you know we look out for each other. and we look out for this family. no way we were going to leave things with rachel to chance with the local police. no telling how they would have f-uh, screwed it up," he amended hastily.

"can we come in?"

rachel glanced up to see sophie peeking inside the doorway. just behind her were shea and sarah. rachel smiled and motioned them inside. her sisters-in-law hurried in and quickly enfolded her in big hugs.

"oh god, we were so scared," sophie said as she stood back with the others. "how is ethan? we heard he was shot!"

garrett had looped his arm around sarah, pulling her into his side, and he was quick to alleviate the worry in the women's eyes.

"he's fine. he was wearing a vest. he'll be down in just a minute."

"thank god," shea breathed.

shea stared anxiously at rachel, her eyes brimming with worry. rachel gave her a reassuring nod so she'd know that all was well with the pregnancy.

the door flew open, and suddenly ethan was at her bedside, his intense gaze burning over her. everyone hastily moved so ethan could have access to rachel, and then rachel was in his arms, firm against his chest.

she closed her eyes and clung fiercely to him. "thank god you're okay," she whispered. "i was so worried, ethan. please don't ever scare me like that again. i'll never forget hearing the gunshot and seeing you go down. i'll never get that out of my head."

"shhh, baby," he soothed. "that's why we wear vests. i was never in any danger. you, however, had no such protection, and that asshole would have gunned you down in cold blood."

"take me home," she begged. "i just want to get out of here and be in our home where it's quiet."

he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead as she lay nestled in his arms.

"i'll get you home soon. i promise."

she pulled away to see that marlene and the others had backed discreetly toward the doorway where donovan and frank were standing.

"they don't know," she whispered. "this isn't the way i want to tell them. i want to go home, and then i want to tell them properly, when the family is together and all the worry and stress is gone."

"is everything okay with you?" he whispered back. "the babies?"

the fear in his eyes made her stomach knot and she hastened to ease his worry.

"i'm fine. just reaction. they gave me a shot to help calm me down, and i'm okay now. i just want to go home."

he flashed a rueful smile. "i can't even argue with you because i was bound and determined to get the hell out of that room i was in too. i understand how you feel."

she pulled him down even closer so she could whisper without being overheard.

"tell them i'll make a follow up appointment with my obstetrician in a couple of days and make sure everything's okay, but i want to leave now."

he pressed his lips to her forehead and left them there a long moment.

"i'm so proud of you i could burst," he murmured. "you kicked ass today, rachel. even if you scared the shit out of me in the process. those kids owe their lives to you."

she shook her head and frowned.

he smiled and gently nudged her cheek with his knuckle. "yeah, they do. now, let me go see what i can do about springing you. it's going to be tricky to get you out of here without the media swarming."

she made a face and shuddered. "can't van land the helicopter here?"

ethan glanced over at his brother, his expression one of surprise. "van? i hadn't even thought of that. what do you say? can we give rachel the kgi vip treatment and land the helicopter up top and get her home that way?"

donovan cracked a grin. "for rachel, hell yeah. give me half an hour, and i'll be back. then i'll need to go make sure sam hasn't gotten his ass arrested."

chapter 14

it was quiet, and the room was darkened, with only a lamp burning by the bed when rachel entered the bedroom from the bathroom.

ethan was sprawled on the bed, shirtless but still wearing his fatigues. even his boots were still on, and he looked too tired to take them off.

her heart softened as she stared at his closed eyes, and then her gaze drifted down his lean, muscled chest to the bruise that darkened his already tan skin.

he'd been so worried for her, but in fact, she hadn't come close to injury. certainly not as close as he'd come. that he'd been so willing to put himself between her and their children and harm's way told her more than words how much he loved her.

she went to where his feet hung off the bed, and she took one boot to prop it on her thigh while she unlaced it. ethan came awake immediately and lifted his foot free of her grasp.

"don't baby, i'll get them. crawl into bed and get comfortable."

she shook her head and pulled his foot back. "just lie still and let me get your boots off. you're exhausted. it's been a tough day for both of us, but i'm not the one who got shot."

he put his hands behind his head, watching as she wrestled with one boot and then transferred her attention to the other.

his lips parted hesitantly, as if he grappled with what to say and how to say it. there was torment in his eyes, and deep shadows lurked, making his gaze appear haunted.

there was an ache to his words that touched the deepest part of her soul.

"from the minute i knew what was going on, i kept wondering if this was where it would all be taken back. i guess some part of me has lived in fear that i was living on borrowed time and that people just don't get handed what i've been given without having to give it back at some point."

her heart throbbed at the vulnerability in his voice. she tossed aside the boot and then crawled onto the bed, her hands smoothing up his chest until she got to his shoulders.

her mouth hovered just over his, her dark hair falling like a curtain onto his skin.

"i hate to tell you this, but you're stuck with me," she teased, hoping to lighten the darkness in his eyes. "you can't get rid of me that easily. i think i've proved that already."

he wrapped his arm around her waist and anchored her firmly against him. "i don't want to ever lose you, baby. you're my life. the babies are my life. our family means everything to me, and i'll always fight to keep you safe and happy."

she kissed him then. warm and melting, their lips fused together.

"you make me so very happy," she whispered. "i can finally sleep at night without fear that i'll wake up in hell or that i dreamed you coming for me. i can see past today and get a glimpse of our future when our children are older and we have a lifetime of loving behind us."

he ran his fingers through her hair, toying with the strands in a tender gesture.

"do you want me to quit kgi?" he asked in a serious tone.

she blinked in surprise. then she studied the earnestness in his expression and sighed.

"i never wanted you to quit your seal team. that was your decision. what i want is for you to be happy, and working with your brothers makes you happy. i can see it in your eyes when you come home from work. we're older and wiser now, ethan. we're stronger than we were when you were in the navy. i have a solid support system when you're away on a mission."

"i just want you to know that nothing is more important than you and our children. and i mean that. if it would make you happy, i'd walk away from kgi tomorrow and have no regrets."

"but it wouldn't make you happy, and if you aren't happy, i certainly won't be happy," she said.

he kissed her again, and she molded her body to his. she reached down, sliding her hand between them until she cupped him intimately, stroking him through his pants.

he groaned. "god, woman. i'm cut to my knees, weak with relief that you're alive and well, and you're acting the temptress, like you didn't almost get yourself killed today."

she smiled against his lips as she kissed him again, and then she drew away, propping her elbow on his upper chest, above where he'd been bruised.

but then she sobered as she took in the worry in his eyes. she touched his face, tracing the hard lines and then smoothing a finger over his lips.

"i made peace with death a long time ago. i'm not saying i want to die, but i don't fear it anymore. there were days that i wasn't strong during captivity, and i actually hoped for death. that they'd grow tired of keeping me on a leash and would give me an overdose and that i'd slip away."

tears glittered in ethan's eyes, and his jaw hardened. his entire body was tense. she knew it was difficult for him to hear, but she didn't hold anything back. she was honest if nothing else.

"i think it's why i could be relatively calm and not lose it today. one, i didn't want those kids to get hurt. and two, after everything i've endured, i've come to the conclusion that when god is ready for me to go, i'll go, and not a minute before."

"i'm just grateful he wasn't ready for you and that you're back home with me where you belong," he said, his voice husky with emotion.

she adjusted her body so she could turn and unfasten the fly of his pants. he lifted his hips upward and helped her push them down over his thighs. she got to her knees to finish removing the rest of his clothing until he was fully naked beneath her roving hands.

tonight she was going to make love to him. so many times he'd been the one to handle her so gently. always offering her reassurance. telling her with more than words that he loved her and would always be here.

she wanted to be that person for him tonight. to show him that she loved him every bit as much. that she valued the sacrifices he'd made and was willing to make for her and their children.